Current Events > Why do some people wipe their butts with toilet paper and move on after pooping?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Got a bidet during the COVID panic of people hoarding TP and cant believe I used to be one of those people. Imagine getting poop anywhere else on your body and thinking you were clean after wiping it off with toilet paper or a paper towel.

>2023
>still pooping

Oh my fucking god, you people will never stop talking about squirting your ass.

Have some shame.

I poop once a day right before a shower so..

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Oh my fucking god, you people will never stop talking about squirting your ass.

Have some shame.

Says the guy that's proud about walking around with dried up flakes of shit and paper on his ass all day.

Well they're not gonna wipe and stay there are they

The poop splashing water back into my ass is all the bidet I need.

Also....They aren't common at all in the US.

Getting your ass wet isnt getting your ass clean

Would TC want to use a public bidet? I don't think I would tbh

A_Good_Boy posted...

Says the guy that's proud about walking around with dried up flakes of shit and paper on his ass all day.

As much as I appreciate you working up and sharing fantasies about a shit encrusted anus, it's probably something we can both avoid if you just have that shame I talked about before.

i gambled wrong yesterday... and shat myself.
was fucking gross. it ran down my leg and had to take a shower.

something i ate caused that :(.

Have you noticed the popularity of eating ass coincided with the popularity of bidets

Makes you think

Love my bidet. I give myself a super soaker powered shot directly into my brown eye and clean that crusted over mess right up.

You still need TP to pat yourself dry.

Call me old fashioned but for my money nothing will ever replace a dwarf with a squirt gun

Man, I had so much trouble installing a bidet in my house last year. First issue I ran into was that my toilet had the old style hose to the water line which meant it couldn't be moved since it was hard metal. Had to go to the store to buy a flexible hose replacement. Only cost a few bucks though. I couldn't get the damn original hose to come off the water line without having force and a big wrench. Had to get a big wrench. Went to install the new hose and the friggin' valve broke. Had to go to the store again and buy a new one which was much better anyway since it was quarter turn. Then I couldn't thread the bidet's hose onto the toilet tank because the friggin' toilet tank's thread was broken. Took a lot of work to finally get it to thread.

It was all worth it. I HATE not being able to use a bidet when I'm on a different toilet lol.

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

As much as I appreciate you working up and sharing fantasies about a shit encrusted anus, it's probably something we can both avoid if you just have that shame I talked about before.

T'ain't no shame in having a clean asshole.

And spraying your ass with water leads to smelly ass too
What's the next step, soap?
Ass douching?

VoightKent posted...

And spraying your ass with water leads to smelly ass too
What's the next step, soap?
Ass douching?

You wipe the water off your ass too.

I just wait for a strong rain, go outside and throw my legs back over my head

Americans love to live like cavemen in politics and wiping ass.

A_Good_Boy posted...

You wipe the water off your ass too.

Wiping off with paper is not enough to dry. What's next, blowdrying your ass?

VoightKent posted...

Wiping off with paper is not enough to dry. What's next, blowdrying your ass?

Space heater squat, just make sure you keep your balance

VoightKent posted...

Wiping off with paper is not enough to dry. What's next, blowdrying your ass?

Bidets actually do come with a blowdryer.

A_Good_Boy posted...

Bidets actually do come with a blowdryer.

Great, blowing that bacteria all over your legs
And everywhere else

Scorsese2002 posted...

I just wait for a strong rain, go outside and throw my legs back over my head

I hear it's good for the chakra

VoightKent posted...

Wiping off with paper is not enough to dry. What's next, blowdrying your ass?

You're not dipping your butt in the toilet, things don't get that wet

MC_BatCommander posted...

You're not dipping your butt in the toilet, things don't get that wet

Any amount of moisture is breeding ground for bacterial growth.
Enjoy the swamp ass in a few hours

VoightKent posted...

Any amount of moisture is breeding ground for bacterial growth.
Enjoy the swamp ass in a few hours

You dry it off with tp so it's not wet, how are you not getting this

Why not just shit in the shower ffs

What happens if you have to shit in public? Do you have an on-the-go bidet or do you just wait until you get home to handle clean up?

VoightKent posted...

Great, blowing that bacteria all over your legs
And everywhere else

The air doesn't blow on your legs, it's blown on your ass. Besides, there's far less bacteria than if you weren't to use the bidet at all.

MC_BatCommander posted...

You dry it off with tp so it's not wet, how are you not getting this

If you touch a "dry" basement floor is it actually dry? No it has 30-50% moisture content

A_Good_Boy posted...

The air doesn't blow on your legs, it's blown on your ass. Besides, there's far less bacteria than if you weren't to use the bidet at all.

Wiping your hole restricts the bacterial growth to one place

VoightKent posted...

Wiping your hole restricts the bacterial growth to one place

It also doesn't completely clean the shit off your ass.

Imagine if you were hanging out with a friend and you stepped in dog shit. Your friend wants to help and only hands you a paper towel and nothing else. You'd look at that and get kind of annoyed because clearly just merely wiping the dog shit off your shoe with nothing more than a paper towel isn't going to be sufficient enough to clean the shit off your shoe. Yet, when you go to use your friend's bathroom you reach over for the TP and expect absolutely nothing more and you're grateful for it.

I would love a bidet, but money

SenlinDescends posted...

I would love a bidet, but money

I bought my bidet for about $30-35, but I guess it'd be more expensive if you want the type that gives you the option of hot or cold water (also I'd imagine the installation is a bit more annoying since it would also need to connect to the sink).

MorganTJ posted...

I bought my bidet for about $30-35, but I guess it'd be more expensive if you want the type that gives you the option of hot or cold water (also I'd imagine the installation is a bit more annoying since it would also need to connect to the sink).

Interesting, that's not bad, I may swing it

SenlinDescends posted...

Interesting, that's not bad, I may swing it

I also have a cheap one, it doesn't connect to the sink. It connects to the hose that goes to the toilet tank.

So it's water line - valve- hose - bidet-hose - tank

Get some flushable Dude Wipes.
https://dudeproducts.com/

When I can I wet a paper towel with a small amount of soup and water. It's not complicated on how to clean yourself

It'll work better than a bidet that's for sure

BanthaFodder posted...

Get some flushable Dude Wipes.

No, flushable wipes are not actually flushable and are incredibly bad for sewer systems.

SenlinDescends posted...

No, flushable wipes are not actually flushable and are incredibly bad for sewer systems.

Then don't flush them. See how the human brain works?

I'm going on the assumption you only use one wipe to clean. Not a handful everytime.

A_Good_Boy posted...

It also doesn't completely clean the shit off your ass.

Imagine if you were hanging out with a friend and you stepped in dog shit. Your friend wants to help and only hands you a paper towel and nothing else. You'd look at that and get kind of annoyed because clearly just merely wiping the dog shit off your shoe with nothing more than a paper towel isn't going to be sufficient enough to clean the shit off your shoe. Yet, when you go to use your friend's bathroom you reach over for the TP and expect absolutely nothing more and you're grateful for it.

Ok but if you get dog shit on your bare hand you're not just gonna rinse it with plain water and dry it off, you're gonna soap that bad boy up because water alone does not clean bacteria. So clearly you should also be soaping up your asshole and scrubbing it vigorously every time

Slaya4 posted...

Americans love to live like cavemen in politics and wiping ass.

Lol, classic "American swine!"

Get back on your moped, Gunther.

DipDipDiver posted...

Ok but if you get dog shit on your bare hand you're not just gonna rinse it with plain water and dry it off, you're gonna soap that bad boy up because water alone does not clean bacteria. So clearly you should also be soaping up your asshole and scrubbing it vigorously every time

Either way, whatever it is that you do with a bidet is still a much more thorough job than not using a bidet. None of these attempts at gotchas make any sense in context.

A_Good_Boy posted...

Either way, whatever it is that you do with a bidet is still a much more thorough job than not using a bidet. None of these attempts at gotchas make any sense in context.

But what if the bidet is out of alignment and you accidentally squirt your balls

This is one of CE's dumber stock arguments.

DipDipDiver posted...

But what if the bidet is out of alignment and you accidentally squirt your balls

That only happens if you hit the lady button.

More Americans would use a bidet if it didn't have a girly French name. We should change it to Ass Utility Hose and watch them fly off the shelf

BanthaFodder posted...

When I can I wet a paper towel with a small amount of soup

We're just supposed to keep a thermos on hand?