Current Events > At what age is it not cruel to kick out your offspring?

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Kombucha
03/16/23 7:45:12 PM
#1:


A few years back I heard this guy talking and he was going on about how his son was going to get kicked out as soon as he turned 18, because that's what happened to him and he "turned out great". It struck me as particularly cruel.

Edit: Though I used offspring, this applies to adopted/step-kids/etc.

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TheAwesomeMatt
03/16/23 7:47:27 PM
#2:


Probably a couple years after university, so mid 20s

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warlock7735
03/16/23 7:47:29 PM
#3:


When they leave voluntarily is the obvious one.

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gildedwings
03/16/23 7:48:07 PM
#4:


2, so long as you make sure to arm them with a small knife in case one of the train hobos tries something.

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#5
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gildedwings
03/16/23 7:48:35 PM
#6:


warlock7735 posted...
When they leave voluntarily is the obvious one.
What if they're like 30 and still won't leave?

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boxoto
03/16/23 7:48:48 PM
#7:


I think if you don't have issues with them, and it's not something you try to talk about first, then it can be cruel at any age.

like, if you talk to your kid, and say something like, "hey, you're 25, I think you should start looking for your own place, but I'll help you and give you time", then that's pretty fair.

but if you're like, "hey, you're 25, I want you to move out", then that's another.

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Dakimakura
03/16/23 7:49:10 PM
#8:


Turning your back on family is always cruel but if they are a financial burden and refuse to help support the family I think that takes the cruelty out of things.

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Punished_Blinx
03/16/23 7:51:19 PM
#9:


18 is pretty young these days under basically any circumstance. Especially these days with cost of living.

Outside of that when we're talking about adults it's the circumstances of being kicked out that matter more than the age.

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Arcanine2009
03/16/23 7:51:26 PM
#10:


But then they wonder why their kids stick them into senior homes instead of living with them when they get really old.

I'd want my kids to be independent, but also not in debt. The kid should have a job to help pay rent and help around the house. They can live indefinitely in that case, imo. Would help a lot with paying off school.

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coolguyjimmy
03/16/23 7:52:39 PM
#11:


This reminds me of a tale:

A woman phones up her mother at 2:00am, and says "Caroline just came in, at 2:00am! I'm going crazy, she's only 16! Tell me mother when does it stop?"

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loafy013
03/16/23 7:53:15 PM
#12:


When they are in the same or better financial state that you were when leaving home. And if you suffered and struggled and do the same to your kid, it says a lot about you.

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Michael_Booth
03/16/23 8:01:36 PM
#13:


I think it depends on how you do it.

My parents, got me to "leave" the family estate at 21 years old, but they did it by gifting me a 2-bed apartment, all paid off as my 21st birthday present. They didn't really need to kick me out, I just went there of my own volition.

I still go to the family estate for meals, occasionally -- but being independent at 21 years old really allowed me to grow, and experience being an adult. It allowed me to balance my stipend from the Trust Fund with my outgoings. Sure, sometimes that $4000 a month (at the time) wasn't used correctly, and I had to go cap in hand back to my parents to help with finance for the month, but I learned from it and have become a better adult because of it.

I fear if I'd stated at the Family estate too much over 21 years old, I would not have grown as I have and instead withered.
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Master_Bass
03/16/23 8:05:17 PM
#15:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

This unless they're threatening your life or something heinous like that.

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PiOverlord
03/16/23 8:07:21 PM
#16:


It's always cruel. You don't force someone to come into the world just so you can kick them out.

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Joelypoely
03/16/23 8:12:05 PM
#17:


mattymad posted...
Never. You brought that person in to the world so you better support them.

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Pepys_Monster
03/16/23 8:18:56 PM
#18:


PiOverlord posted...
It's always cruel. You don't force someone to come into the world just so you can kick them out.
What if they're unemployed, 26 years old, and play video games all day in the basement?

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#19
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gildedwings
03/16/23 8:20:23 PM
#20:


Pepys_Monster posted...
What if they're unemployed, 26 years old, and play video games all day in the basement?
Based

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coolguyjimmy
03/16/23 8:20:25 PM
#21:


Pepys_Monster posted...
What if they're unemployed, 26 years old, and play video games all day in the basement?

Your parents were definitely in the wrong, man.
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gildedwings
03/16/23 8:21:06 PM
#22:


coolguyjimmy posted...
Your parents were definitely in the wrong, man.
My father left me.

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MaxEffingBemis
03/16/23 8:23:01 PM
#23:


gildedwings posted...
What if they're like 30 and still won't leave?
Im 30 and I still live with my parents. I have the whole upstairs area to myself. I also have a full-time job and everything.

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gildedwings
03/16/23 8:23:38 PM
#24:


MaxEffingBemis posted...
Im 30 and I still live with my parents. I have the whole upstairs area to myself. I also have a full-time job and everything.
How can I be like you? I want to move but I have no money.
:(

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MaxEffingBemis
03/16/23 8:25:49 PM
#25:


gildedwings posted...
How can I be like you? I want to move but I have no money.
:(
I dont have any money either thats why I still live with my parents lmao

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gildedwings
03/16/23 8:26:37 PM
#26:


MaxEffingBemis posted...
I dont have any money either thats why I still live with my parents lmao
Man...

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manhookcardoor
03/16/23 8:31:05 PM
#27:


When they are capable of supporting themselves or able and ready to enter a program.

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BettyWhite
03/16/23 8:32:56 PM
#28:


They can stay as long as they want as long as they're working and/or going to school.

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cjsdowg
03/16/23 8:35:57 PM
#30:


  1. It depends on a number of things. If the child is working or going to school. Let them stay.
  2. If they are just living off the parents and doing nothing at all. I say about something 25 or so.


Note I am not sure if this true. But I have heard many other places let people stay for longer. Out side of America.

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Gamingsince1989
03/16/23 8:38:17 PM
#31:


I don't have children, but I would have them pay rent starting at 18 and I would put all of their rent money into a savings account that they can use to get their own place when they're ready.
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KeeperOfShadows
03/16/23 8:41:28 PM
#32:


A week after they turn 18.

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#33
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Priere
03/16/23 8:50:49 PM
#34:


Anyone who kicks their kids out better be cool with the idea of being neglected when they are elderly

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Arcanine2009
03/17/23 12:03:01 AM
#35:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Holy shit I'm so sorry dude

For doubling the rent though, I'm assuming it's because it's two people living under her roof now, with twice the expenses on electricity, waste, etc (on your end). Should have given a discount, but w/e

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Balnazarr
03/17/23 12:14:51 AM
#36:


If they're sitting at home not working and not helping. Out they go. But, if they're at home contributing it's really up to them. My Parents told me as an adult I had to start contributing. So, I paid rent and helped out. They let me stay as long as I wanted really. Moved out around 26. Still live close by.
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CanardElastique
03/17/23 12:15:50 AM
#37:


Michael_Booth posted...
I think it depends on how you do it.

My parents, got me to "leave" the family estate at 21 years old, but they did it by gifting me a 2-bed apartment, all paid off as my 21st birthday present. They didn't really need to kick me out, I just went there of my own volition.

I still go to the family estate for meals, occasionally -- but being independent at 21 years old really allowed me to grow, and experience being an adult. It allowed me to balance my stipend from the Trust Fund with my outgoings. Sure, sometimes that $4000 a month (at the time) wasn't used correctly, and I had to go cap in hand back to my parents to help with finance for the month, but I learned from it and have become a better adult because of it.

I fear if I'd stated at the Family estate too much over 21 years old, I would not have grown as I have and instead withered.
Hahawhat

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Philip027
03/17/23 1:11:51 AM
#38:


I feel like "kicking out" your offspring is generally cruel no matter what age it is done, tbh
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shironinja
03/17/23 1:14:43 AM
#39:


does leaving for a pack of cigarettes and not coming back count because if so, seven.

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Tenaku
03/17/23 2:26:54 AM
#40:


The question is, at what point do they deserve to get kicked out? What are some reasons that an offspring would deserve to get dropped by their parents?
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HudGard
03/17/23 2:28:55 AM
#41:


Honestly if they are working, have social lives, and otherwise self sufficient I say stay as long as you wish. Or at least until we retire and sell the home to become RV roamers.

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Dat_Cracka_Jax
03/17/23 3:21:18 AM
#42:


I'd say it's dependent on situation. If the kid has fallen on hard times or is having legit issues finding work or there is some other situation out of their hands, then it's cruel to not give them a place to stay.

If the kid is completely able and capable based on their current situation to move out and fend for themselves then I think it's okay to push them out.

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VampireCoyote
03/17/23 3:23:38 AM
#43:


18

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#44
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#45
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Prismsblade
03/17/23 4:59:35 AM
#46:


As long as their paying the bills and making some effort to move out I'm willing to give them a few more years. Barring hard times.

But otherwise idc if they have to join the army or something but gtfo.

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Solid_Snake07
03/17/23 5:03:39 AM
#47:


My daughter can live with me as long as she wants assuming she is either going to school or working full time.

If not shes gonna have to figure something else out around 19. Its not so much about getting her out of my house so much as its not enabling her to be a do nothing loser

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Hoodroar
03/17/23 5:12:51 AM
#48:


In the current economy it's heartless at any age unless you saved up relocation money for them.

Housing in 2023 is not cheap or available enough for someone kicked out unprepared to access it. They'll just be homeless.

That said, if the offspring is a constant disruption to the household, they still have to go.

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Kakapo
03/17/23 5:35:15 AM
#49:


How old's Catboy?

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loafy013
03/17/23 5:39:37 AM
#50:


Solid_Snake07 posted...
My daughter can live with me as long as she wants assuming she is either going to school or working full time.
Thats the deal my parents made with us. Just feeling shitty about it now because I quit my job at the end of January and still not hearing back from crappy jobs like gas stations or grocery stores. Like I'm not holding up my side of the bargain.

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Kakapo
03/17/23 5:47:26 AM
#51:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I think/hope it's satire.

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