Current Events > CYOA: Your job is to watch over doors

(+) Yeah! (+)

Bump

A

C) Greet them

You kick your legs up and swing them like a schoolgirl, beeping amicably.

Uhhello to you too? Says the coated man.

You nod and beep again.

The lady speaks gibberish since she doesnt have her teeth.

Doing alright, how about you? says the coated man.

My days fucking ruined thanks to you, asshole! says the masked man.

Now now, the robot lads just doing his job.

The masked man tries to wiggle free to no avail. WhataboutMY job?!

Which is?

Robbing stores. Obviously! He wiggles again but gives up and sighs. I cant do anything right, man. This shoulda been easy. Im just a failure, man.

You beep.

He tears up through his mask. Youyou think so? Im not a failure?

Hes right you know, says the coat man.



One long conversation later. You turn over, still lying on the three people but facing up at the ceiling wistfully. Surprisingly, no other shoplifters have walked in.

...And thats when I realized that my mother has killed my ability to truly connect with another human being, says the masked man.

Thats rough, lad.

The old lady nods.

You beep.

Whoathats pretty deep, man. The masked man sobs. Youre pretty alright, robot dude.

Some metal stomping approaches you. Groog! What the hell are you doing?! Get off the goddamn customers! Sambot yells before kicking you off.

Hey! Whaddya do that for, dude?!

Sambot crouches down and extends his hand to the masked man. Im very sorry about this, sir. Perhaps we can compensate you with a complimentary gift card?

The masked man slaps Sambots hand away, then gets up disgruntled and dusts himself off. Fuck no. Not cool man, kicking my boy down like that. I cant be in a place that treats my homies like this!

He stomps over to you to help you up. Thanks again, robot dude. I wont forget what youve done for me today. He turns around to Sambot. And to you, go burn in robot hell or whatever. Peace! He yells before storming out.

The coated man gets up and helps the old lady up as well. Im with the lad on this one. I was gonna get a quick snack before returning to my post but your fucked up action has ruined my appetite. Good day, robot sir.

He walks over to you and holds out a small business card. You seem like an upstanding young robot man. If youre ever fucked, come find me if you need a private detective. He pats your shoulder and walks out the doors.

The old lady bends down to grab her dentures.

Sambot grabs them before she gets to them. Please maam, allow me to help.

The lady snatches it out of his hands, puts them back on, then bites on his finger.

He screams like a cartoon character. Upon the release of her jaws, his finger can be seen caved in like a crushed soda can.

The old lady hmphs and storms out the doors without uttering a word.

Sambot puts his arms on his hips. Great going, dumbass. See what youve done?! You made us lose some valuable customers.

You beep monotonously.

Okay, yes, I dont actually give a shit about those guys. But I gotta act like a manager once in a while here! He puts a hand on your shoulder. Haha, but seriously though. We really dont get much business around here, if you havent already noticed. So uh, think you can be trusted to not fuck up any further?

A) Beep affirmatively and continue your job.
B) Punch him in the robo nuts and walk out
C) Run to the hi tech gun and start the anti-robot robot uprising

C

C.

B

B

A

in a rare turn of events, we have a 3 way tie

Change my vote to A for some more job shenanigans I guess, even though C looks so tempting...

Kircheis posted...

Change my vote to A for some more job shenanigans I guess, even though C looks so tempting...

I vote A also to let it develop a bit.

A) Beep affirmatively and continue your job.

You beep affirmatively. However, Sambots kick will be registered in your memory banks. Forever.

Sambot slaps your back. Attaboy! And if you ever HAVE to see me again? Lets hope you wont.



Strangely enough, or perhaps as Sambot said, no other customers came in. Its a mystery how this place stays afloat. The once bright light outside the glass doors is now a moody dark blue shade of night.

Sambot passes by, no longer wearing his uniform but instead wearing a casual jacket and jeans. Good work today, Groog! Keep it up tomorrow! He pushes the intercom button. Blake, lights out.

Sure, whatever, he says before the whole store goes dark.

Sambot waves you off and walks out.

Even in the darkness, your shadow looks overbearing from the ambient light through the doors.

Now that youre technically off shift, you dont have to watch the doors. So you watch the people and robots walking by on the sidewalk outside. Cars whizzing by. Sirens echoing in the distance.

You realize youve been staring for an hour now. And strangely enough, you have yet to see another person that should have walked out those doors too.

You push the intercom and beep.

Some stumbling can be heard in the distant corner, and then a door creaking open. WhaGroog? Is that you? Blake says on the other line.

Beep.

Why havent I gone home yet? Come to the closet. Itll be easier to explain.

And so you mosey to the back corner of the store, where the closet door resides. You knock, as your manners unit is still intact.

Blake opens the door, still in uniform. He flips his long bangs to the side so he can see you clearly. Come on in, man. Uh, is it politically correct to call you man?

Beep.

It doesnt mean anything to you? Gotcha, man.

You step in and see shelves full of cleaning supplies lining the walls. In the middle is a single sleeping bag.

You beep with worry.

Go to my real home? Sadly Groog, real homes are for well-off people. He sits cross-legged on his sleeping bag. This is home for people like me, man. Too many people and robots in the city. Not enough houses. So companies have been offering room and board in their job perks.

He stretches out his arms, but they get impeded by shelves. Hardly any room, if that tells you anything about the rest of the perks. But I definitely get very bored.

Beep.

Man, Id love to leave this shithole. But where else would I go? Every other job that offers room and board sucks as much as this place. I dont make enough to get my own place.

He lies down and stares at the fly hovering around the dim and dirty ceiling light. Im trapped, man.

A) Tell him that sucks, and that youll see him tomorrow.
B) Grab him and bust out for a night around the city.
C) Hand him the hi tech gun and conspire to kill Sambot tomorrow to kick off the anti-robot human-robot uprising.

C.

C

Looks like nikko's ready for the robot uprising lol. C

C

I thought Blake is human.

B

bumpin
also Blake is human yes, hence why i amended it to be the "human-robot uprising"

A for inactivity

B

C) Hand him the hi tech gun and conspire to kill Sambot tomorrow to kick off the anti-robot human-robot uprising.

You bolt out of the closet, startling Blake. When you come back, you present to him something the masked man forgot: the gun. It looks like a very blocky pistol with a small LED screen.

You turn on the gun. The small screen boots up to a generic 1 minute car commercial, then goes to a screen asking for the wifi password.

Blake stares at it with a hint of fear, but mostly confusion. You want me to put in the password?

You shake your head and beep.

He is now staring at it with full fear and zero confusion. WaitIM the one firing it?!

You shove it in his hands.

He fumbles with it like its a hot potato. This is crazy, man! I dont even know how to use one of these things! He says while putting in the wifi password.

You tap the small screen to pull up YouTube. Three unskippable 1-minute ads play.

The both of you stare at each other in uncomfortable silence, with only the sounds of consumerism playing bombastically through the guns tiny speaker.

Once the ads are up, a video showing how to kill someone with a gun plays.

Groog, you cant be serious--oh. So thats what that does. Huh. He twiddles with the gun, figuring out how to take out the full magazine. Whoa. Sick.

The video gets to the part where the guy shoots another guy. It didnt look fake.

Blake stares at the screen with a lot of contemplation. GroogI dont know if I can he turns to look at you, but instead only sees his own reflection against the lustrous surface of your literally blank face.

And in that reflection, all Blake sees is how malnourished and sleep deprived his face looks.

You beep.

Yeahyeah youre fucking right. Fuck this job, man. Im already dying anyway!



The sunlight starts to seep in through the doors and windows. Sambot walks in gleefully. Rise and shine, everyone! He walks up to the intercom and pushes the button. Blake, how about you light this place up?

In the next instant, the only light that turns on is a muzzle flash.

Blake takes his finger off the trigger as the barrel sizzles with smoke. Sure, whatever.

Sambot collapses to the floor, and red liquid starts gushing out of him. He sparks and smokes, spasming around until he stays still.

You emerge from the darkness and walk over to his lifeless body, crouching over it and dipping your finger in the pool of red fluid. You beep.

Yeah, man. Thats human blood. They put em in robots since its the best fluid for transporting nutrients or something, I wasnt really paying attention in school.

The blood starts to glow, whirling around before it all flies into your chest and gets absorbed.

You look at Blake and beep.

He puts his hands up. Dont look at me, blood DEFINITELY isnt supposed to do that.

A siren blares from the ceiling, and red lights pop out. Unauthorized death detected. A robotic voice says from the intercom speakers. Authorities have been alerted. Estimated time of arrival: 10 minutes. Recalculating. Estimated time of arrival: 20 minutes.

A) Set up defenses and be ready to stand your ground in this store
B) Run out and hijack a car for a chase
C) Run out and head to the detective that gave you his card earlier

B!

B.

Can someone get OP a add blocker? This chapter is clearly a cry for help.

C

A

I am willing to change my choice to B if they take a vehicle that is not personal property.

C

bump

B) Run out and hijack a car for a chase

Blake closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Oh boy. So begins the consequences of my actions

You beep and grab his arm, running out of the store with him.

Immediately, youre greeted with the smell of morning dew, the dark blue hue of the partially risen sunlit sky, the faint rays of the sun seeping between the tall blocky buildings all around the district

And the few people passing by not giving a fuck about you two coming out of the blaring store, with Blake still holding a gun in hand. Seems this is a normal occurrence for them.

Parked parallel to the sidewalk is a sleek-looking silver car. All four wheels are attached, of course.

Ah Groog, smart idea! We can use Sambots car to get outta here! says Blake who tries to reach for the car handle, but the handle is sunk flush into the car. Damn, guess we need the key. Ill be right back, he says, running back to the store.

You put your hand against the handle and beep.

The car beeps back, angrily.

You beep back even angrier. Red sparks appear out of your hand. Some of the blood that you absorbed emerge from your fingertips and seep into the car.

The car beeps obediently and reveals the handles.

You look at your hand to inspect it, wondering what just happened, but find nothing out of the ordinary.

Blake returns from the store, jingling some car keys. Alright, I snatched our ticket out of here--wait, its already unlocked?

You nod and open the door for him, then hopping to the other side to get into the drivers seat. You push a button to start a car. Looks like it simply relies on the keys being nearby to work.

You give it a few revs, then shift to drive and screech down the street.

Yknow Groog, its actually pretty bad for a cars health to rev while parked--

You put your finger on his lips, gesturing to shush him. But since you have no mouth, you beep instead of shushing.

Blake swats your finger away. Alright alright, so where are we going?

You shrug. However, you get a strange feeling within you that compels you towards a certain location. Youre not sure where it is, nor how to get there, but

You put your finger on the touch screen dashboard. Red sparks fly out of your fingertip, followed by a drop of blood leaking out and being absorbed by the screen. It changes to a GPS display, showing a long drive many miles away to some point far from the city.

Goddamn, off the grid huh? I guess thats par for the course for a couplea murderers.

You beep.

Well yes, I was the one that spilled blood, but youre the one that handed me this gun.

Beep.

Argue all you want, but I seriously dont know how youre gonna argue to the cops that youre not also a murderer. Speaking of cops, I hear the sirens coming.

You floor it, speeding down the road and weaving through cars with reckless abandon. Except its not that reckless since youre a robot who can perfectly calculate how your car is gonna move.

In the middle of your weaving, a car from some German brand gets into your lane and blocks you off at the last minute without using a turn signal. Guess even your perfect calculations cant predict inept driving.

You swerve to that cars side and ram it off the road, causing it to spiral out of control and slam into a building and explode.

The blood from the driver seeps out and quickly flies through the car window into your chest.

Blake, however, didnt notice any of that since hes glued to his smartphone. Yooo Groog, check it out! We made it on the news! The breaking news, even! Man, car chases are a lot weirder when youre in the passengers seat of one. He looks up from his phone. Wait, is that a bunch of fire in the rear view--

You put your finger on his lips and shush him again.



Youre currently at a car-recharging station in front of a convenience store thats miles away from the city now. But your car ran out of juice and you still have a few miles left from your destination, and its gonna take a few minutes to charge. Luckily youve lost the cops thanks to your incredibly stupid but effective driving.

A) Walk the rest of the way
B) Wait for the car to recharge by chilling at the store
C) Wait for another car to come by and take that instead

C.

C

C

up

I am not going to say A because Blake is undernourished. B is unnecessary so

C

Up

B

C) Wait for another car to come by and take that instead

Youre leaning against the hood of the car, looking up at the sun. Supposedly for humans, thats a really bad idea. Sucks to be them, you guess.

Blake comes up and offers you a bottle of water. Nicked this at the store, he says while opening a can of soda and drinks it for himself. Water should be all you need to keep going, right?

You beep and take his water, drinking it alongside him.

Did I steal it? Cmon Groog, we literally committed murder. Might as well not pay for shit if were wanted anyway.

You beep affirmatively, then beep again.

Not too keen on waiting for this thing to charge, huh? I might have an idea.

He walks out to the road and holds out his hand, pointing his thumb upwards to the sky.

You walk up to his side, mostly confused, and follow suit. You beep.

Yes, it looks stupid. Apparently this is what my grandpa did whenever he needed a ride. Dunno if people still do this.

In the distance, some dust clouds are kicking up from a motorcycle fast approaching. Really fast approaching.

So fast that the rider gets clotheslined by your outstretched arm. His helmet gets a knuckle imprint before it flies off, revealing that the rider was a robot. The bike skids, but remains mostly unscathed as it reaches a stop. The rider however, is definitely scathed as hell, since his head flew off alongside the helmet, and sparks are flying out of his neck.

But more importantly for you, blood is gushing out of him. The blood flies over to your chest, getting absorbed.

Blake runs to the bike and drives it over to you, revving it loudly. Wow! Thanks Grandpa. Anyway I think this thing was for pizza. Had some boxes in the trunk thingy. Want some?

You shake your head and seat behind him, holding on tightly.

He wheezes a bit from how tight you were holding. You hold less tightly. He revs it up and near-instantly blasts off to blazing fast speeds.

Shit!!!!!, Groog, I dunno where Im going!

You roll your metaphorical eyes and take over the handlebars, steering this thing away from oblivion.



In record time, you arrive at your destination: A tiny lone wooden house in the dead middle of nowhere except rugged land and ruined buildings.

Through the window, you can see the item that was calling to you: A wooden stick impaled into the floor. However, the only door is guarded by a robed old man with a long beard. Even with your arrival, he remains unmoved and his face remains stoic.

A) Kill him and get in
B) Threaten him
C) Tell him youre here to deliver pizza

C!

C.

C

Definitely C

At the risk of being repetitive, C

bump

C) Tell him youre here to deliver pizza

Blake looks around, looks at the old man, then looks at you, all with confusion. This is where you wanted to go? Whos the weird looking guy?

You shrug and approach the guy. He still doesnt acknowledge you even when youre right in front of him. You wave your hand in front of his face. Nothing.

You rub your chin, then decide to stop giving a fuck and raise your hand to shove him aside--

He swats your hand away and shakes his head.

You roll up your sleeve, ready to throw hands.

Blake pulls you back. Oops, haha, sorry about my coworker here. Were just here to deliver pizza, he says while holding the pizza boxes that were in the bike.

The old man stares at Blake. Then in the blink of an eye, he pounces at Blake and snatches the pizza boxes, eating them off the ground like a rabid animal.

You and Blake look at each other, silently agreeing on what a fucked up sight this is. You then walk past him and into the tiny wooden shack.

Inside, its just the stick. Nothing else.

Blake whistles. Damn, who lives like this? Got no room to speak though, literally. This place is just a bit bigger than the closet.

You couldnt really hear what he was saying. Youve tuned him out. All your attention is on the stick. It calls on you.

You must respond to it. You reach out for it and grab hold of it.

Your head is bombarded with rapid sequences of images. You can feel yourself overheating. Error.

An image of smacking a large muscular man so hard his neck breaks. Error.

An image of beheading a man with visibly large bloody fangs. Error.

An image of corpses floating to the sky. Error. A throne crushing a head error a robed man laughing error a large flaming meteor falling from the sky error error error

Two overlapping images of two different people asking if they could eat your berries. Error.

Your vision returns to you. Smoke is sizzling out of your crevices. A small popup appears internally: Language unit bootup is at 8%.

Groog? Groog, you okay buddy? Blake says while lightly slapping you awake.

You catch his hand and beep.

He lets out a sigh of relief. Oh, good. So what the hell was that? You were making weird noises and having a robo-seizure!

You look down on your hand that is now holding the staff. You beep.

...You were just having arobo moment? Well, alright then. So whats the deal with the stick?

You say nothing. All Blake can do in the silence is stare at his own face reflected on your shiny blank head.

Imguessing its nothing. Gotcha. Alright, so where do we go now?

You step outside and point at the sky.

Blake walks up beside you and looks up. Uhthe sun?

You shake your head and beep.

The moon?! Thats a bit of an extreme hiding place from the cops, dont you think?

Beep.

The moons fucked up? Well thats not a very nice thing to say to our one and only moon.

You get all up in his face and beep, forcing him to look at his mangled reflection.

He gulps. Okay okay, one trip to the moon, gotcha. Lemme just-- he takes out his phone and fiddles with it. Good news, GPS says itll take about 79,618 hours to get there on foot. Just gotta worry about the slowdown on the interstate.

You beep with contempt.

Yes, Groog, of course Im fucking with you here. Just like youre clearly fucking with me! How the hell are we gonna get to the moon, huh?

A) Ride back to the citys space station and steal a spaceship [LOUD OPTION]
B) Ride back to the city to ask that detective that gave you his card for help [QUIET OPTION]

While you're thinking about that, you're also kinda distracted by the loud eating noises from the feral old man.

1) Take the feral old man with you
2) Leave him here

B1.