Current Events > Do you sympathize with this woman?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I too would like someone who is a nice guy to weigh on me hand and foot while I get to stay at home.

She never said that.

You guys can't even focus on the actual topic and are making up extreme scenarios.

She said she wants someone who will allow her to stay at home and not get a job or contribute and be a house wife.

No, she fucking didn't. I just listened again to make sure I missed nothing. She said pays "on a first date" (not always), hold the door and have a provider mentality. She only said she didn't want to be stuck into traditional home and child roles.

You guys are making things up, so you can be angry about women again. I know that is a favorite activity here.

You are correct about what she said but what I think is implied in the vague "provider mentality" role is at least some double standard of the man paying for more than the woman and taking traditional gender roles as a man. Some will naturally take liberties with their interpretations but if I'm gonna take her seriously I gotta at least squint at that part.

She said she wants someone who will allow her to stay at home and not get a job or contribute and be a house wife.

You are correct about what she said but what I think is implied in the vague "provider mentality" role is at least some double standard of the man paying for more than the woman and taking traditional gender roles as a man. Some will naturally take liberties with their interpretations but if I'm gonna take her seriously I gotta at least squint at that part.

It makes it more frustrating that she still wants dudes to pay for stuff despite having her own money lol. A lot of the conservative guys willing to be full providers would prefer their wife stay home with the kids in exchange, but she wants to work on top of the guy providing extra for her.

Random advice to men about women related to this. On a first date, assuming you asked her out, always reach for the check. More often then not, she will offer to split. When she does I say, "I asked you out, so I am happy to pay". They almost always then say okay (I think only once did someone insist on splitting and there was no chemistry or second date anyway). Oftentimes, they even say "I'll get the next one", which is great. Whether they said that or not, almost every woman I have been a second date with picked up the check.

tldr: always try to pay on the first date

What if they asked you out?

It was more I was curious where you stood personally on the issue. And whether you think the guy should offer to pay first time regardless.

On one hand, yeah it really does sound like a classic case of "having a cake and eating it" which is the sole reason I don't sympathize. But on the other hand, believe it or not, it's something that a lot of left/liberal leaning women want. I talk to plenty of them it was one of the reasons I was able to get dates quite often in my college years because of it. Women, on average, want Masculine traits in men like taking charge, providing and caring for them and their loved ones, etc. Want they don't want are the negatives of Masculinity that normally conform to typical gender roles. We do have a word for it, but many guys dislike it, toxic masculinity. I get shit for this every time I bring it up on a different forum, but there is a lot of truths to it.

Thing about paying full is that some guys often don't get second dates anyway and end up having these complaints:

https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/comments/kf5yuc/im_sick_of_feeling_used_by_my_dates_as_a_free_meal/

If you make above average money it doesn't matter, but guys of modest means really don't want to end up like that.

She left out the classic only if hes hot though! Tee hee!

If a me-lookin dude tried that on her, I can only imagine the look of horror on her face lmao.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

The issue is she's selfish and a hypocrite.
She wants all the benefits of being an independent modern woman but still expects the man to be held to traditional gender roles, pay for her meals, be willing to risk his life to protect her, etc...
What she desires is toxic.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Well said.
Unfortunately many men are still doormats, but a lot of them are learning better, thus the video complaining about it.

Raikuro posted...

Anyone complaining about splitting the bill can't be taken seriously

Agreed.

bsp77 posted...

Random advice to men about women related to this. On a first date, assuming you asked her out, always reach for the check. More often then not, she will offer to split. When she does I say, "I asked you out, so I am happy to pay". They almost always then say okay (I think only once did someone insist on splitting and there was no chemistry or second date anyway). Oftentimes, they even say "I'll get the next one", which is great. Whether they said that or not, almost every woman I have been a second date with picked up the check.

tldr: always try to pay on the first date

Random advice to men:
Don't listen to the above.

NEVER go on dinner dates until you are actually in a relationship. Walk in the park, a coffee date, netflix and chill (maybe cook dinner at home, too), whatever... Pick early dates that are cheap or free. If she actually is interested in you, she won't mind. If she's just looking to use you as a foodie call (ie, fraud/theft), she'll balk. It's a great screening tool and will save you a ton of money and time. Also, if the date is going poorly (you're not getting along at all, she's rude/angry/etc..., she looks *nothing* like her profile pic, and so on) it's a hell of a lot less awkward to bail than when you're in a restaurant booth awaiting your entree.

And on another note, "whoever asks the other out should pay" is a total cop out, too. In reality, women almost never ask guys out, they'll just signal their interest and he'll have to be the one to ask. It's basically just another sneaky way of saying, "the man should pay." If he picks a restaurant that's too pricey for you to pay your share, then she can propose another one.

Whats she saying? I dont want to watch a video.