Current Events > Are there any LGBT people here? I have a question.

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I swear im asking this in good faith and am not trying to troll or anything, im seriously trying to learn some perspective from people actually in the community. My question is about the non-binary orientation.

The other orientations seem to have pretty locked in situations.

Gay: Men who like men.
Lesbian: Women who like women.
Bisexual: Both who like both.
Trans: Man who became a woman and woman who became a man.

I understand that the goal is to be as inclusive as possible, but because of that with non-binary there doesnt seem to be any general expectations or minimum standard as to what makes someone non-binary. It seems like anyone can just say theyre anything without making any kind of physical or personal change to themselves at all, the only thing that needs to change is what other people call them. And theyre also able to change their preferred pronouns whenever they want so its pretty much completely non-committal.

My question is, do non-binary people often make a conscious effort to look more gender neutral or is it meant to be an all inclusive group that anyone can join regardless of how much personal effort they put in and how committed they are? I just dont want to base my entire perspective on a few celebrities and would rather learn what regular people do and how the community views it.

Thanks in advance, and again I promise im just trying to learn here so I dont make assumptions.

It seems like anyone can just say theyre anything without making any kind of physical or personal change to themselves at all,

Yes. That is how being trans in general can work, not just being NB. Many will make at least some kind of effort to at least present differently, but it isn't necessarily a requirement.

For that matter, consider that not everyone can afford the changes they'd like to have, and not everyone can get them safely (their family/environment is intolerant, for example). Others might not even know what changes they'd like to have; it isn't as "simple" as just going to get a surgery or two.

Ah okay, that helps shed some light on it. I hadnt considered the cost and environment element that some people face.

Trans does not mean a person went from being a man to being a woman, or vice versa. There are a very few number of people who might describe their individual experience in that manner, but thats not the experience of the wider community.

A person is transgender when their gender identity is incongruent with what was assigned at birth, and this includes non-binary people. Transition is also not a requirement to be trans - this is not something we become. Everyone has a gender identity which forms at a very young age, and most people can typically express their gender by the age of around five years old.

Non-binary gender identities fall under a wide umbrella, and it is a misconception that non-binary means a person is androgynous or that they strive to be gender neutral. There are non-binary people who are very much trans feminine or trans masculine, presenting as a binary gender, or they may not identify as being trans or take steps to transition. This depends on the individual. Others yet may be genderfluid, agender, bigender, or a number of other gender identities to describe their experience.

In more basic terms, a non-binary person simply does not identify with the binary male or female. They may lean one way or the other, though, or anything else in between.

Interesting, ive never heard of genderfluid, agender and bigender. Are those different than non-binary or are they just more specific versions?

I consider "non-binary" more of an umbrella term for anything that doesn't cleanly fit in the male/female binary. I consider myself agender, which I do regard to be one potential way of experiencing NB.