Current Events > Friend is in an abusive relationship and can't get out

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_____Cait
06/26/23 5:30:42 PM
#1:


I just need to rant, because I cant bring it up on social media where people would know who it is.

So I have this old friend. We was allegedly married while I met her, but was being verbally abused by her husband. She did divorce him though. Was happy for her. Then, RIGHT AFTER, jumped into the King of Red Flags. Dude is an alcoholic, violent tempered, gaslighting typical meathead kind of guy. My friend and i actually live in Japan. I am from the US, she is Japanese. An American would never give this guy the kind of day, they way she describes him. Of course, she thinks he i some kind of amazing for whatever reason.

Anyway, they have dated for 3 years, and i constantly have to hear about how he rejects her, ignores her, yells at her, forces her to do things that hurt her, etc etc. recently, they had a bad fight because he has been trying to get her to move to the US with him. She is scared that he will be himself when they get there, and she will be stuck and not able to leave. She, for some reason, sent me a log of all their emails, where she listed to him a bunch of abusive acts. Pretty bad, and we talked about how she shouldnt deal with it, especially with her kids.

Today, I called to check up on her. Didnt hear from her all weekend, which meant she was falling back into him, like always. She started giving excuses why she is going back, this time, because his friend said he said nice things about her. I reminded her of the email and how this same thing has happened so many times. She says i just need him to respect me more, which has been what she said ever time. For the last three years. The. She lashes out at me, saying im sorry, i never should have told you anything. Also it isnt toxic, which.. I actually never brought up, she just blurted it out.

This is sad to watch. She cried to me the other day about this. Cried often for the last few years. Then she goes back, says the mean things he says to me, probably part of an abuse cycle, i dont hear from her for a long time, then it happens again.

This sucks. I dont have a lot of friends here, and im going to lose one of my best friends due to some loser who she puts on a pedestal. Im constantly worried i dont know wnat to do when she comes crying to me now, because i know in a week, she will just deny it all.

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Rise_Makaveli
06/26/23 5:38:11 PM
#2:


https://youtu.be/FPXdokhn47k

I dont fuck with Cole that much but he aint lying.

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Locate my comrades, keep my enemies not knowing I'm coming back/
Get the money out the safe, time to turn the streets to a war zone. As soon as I come home/
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Blue_Dream87
06/26/23 6:39:11 PM
#3:


Prolly should Roblox the guy

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Peace Love Dope
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_____Cait
06/26/23 6:58:44 PM
#4:


Blue_Dream87 posted...
Prolly should Roblox the guy

?

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Ruvan22
06/28/23 1:19:20 PM
#5:


Dang.. sorry TC :/ Never fun to see someone you care about repeatedly making the same mistake
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Anarchy_Juiblex
06/28/23 1:21:46 PM
#6:


You can't help people that can't help themselves.

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straw_man#Steelmanning
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principle_of_charity
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