Current Events > Is Ice Cream as a first date the bare minimum?

(+) Yeah! (+)

gatorsPENSbucs posted...

I would think the person offering ice cream was just looking for a friend, and she was absolutely right saying no if shes not looking for a buddy.

Why? It's summer, people get ice cream in the summer. Why would you immediately assume he wants to be friends only.

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I cant stand coffee so I wouldnt know.

Shamino posted...

Why? It's summer, people get ice cream in the summer. Why would you immediately assume he wants to be friends only.

Because its a friendly hangout activity. If the person had said lets go do whatever, then we can grab some ice cream, or lets grab some ice cream and then go do something that would be alright. But hey its hot lets get ice cream is something Id say to a buddy.

also the picking up or meeting there line was pretty awful, that probably started scaring her and the ice cream was the final nope.

gatorsPENSbucs posted...

I cant stand coffee so I wouldnt know.

Because its a friendly hangout activity. If the person had said lets go do whatever, then we can grab some ice cream, or lets grab some ice cream and then go do something that would be alright. But hey its hot lets get ice cream is something Id say to a buddy.

also the picking up or meeting there line was pretty awful, that probably started scaring her and the ice cream was the final nope.

Why was the picking up or meeting line awful? He has no way of knowing which way the wind blows without asking.

Dont have a problem with her turning down the date, but the bare minimum comment is rude and trashy as hell

Paragon21XX posted...

A free meal for them rather than a chance at a meaningful connection for both of us even if slim at best? Yeah...no thanks.

No thanks is much better.

But Im not looking for free meals and Im still not interested in the low key kind of dates being described. Just because somebody has a different preference doesnt necessarily mean theyre a freeloader.

Glob posted...

No thanks is much better.

But Im not looking for free meals and Im still not interested in the low key kind of dates being described. Just because somebody has a different preference doesnt necessarily mean theyre a freeloader.

Preferences are fine, but I have to ask, do you pay for these preferences?

To be more specific, I dont mean volunteer/offer to pay, I mean do you actually pay with your own money for these preferences. As there's definitely a difference.

asdf8562 posted...

Preferences are fine, but I have to ask, do you pay for these preferences?

To be more specific, I dont mean volunteer/offer to pay, I mean do you actually pay with your own money for these preferences. As there's definitely a difference.

Yeah.

Glob posted...

Yeah.

Thanks for answering.

I can't disagree with your post.

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Many of the ice cream places near me are just windows with no indoor seating. There are some outdoor benches but not nearly enough if it is even slightly busy.
Standing around in the heat while the ice cream is quickly melting is not a good idea.

1NfamousACE_2 posted...

Black Twitter Made it to CE??

The non toxic parts? Been here, fam

Yeah that just reeks of entitlement

I can understand not wanting to do an icecream or coffee date because you don't view them as a good way to get to know a person, or they might be too short or not feel like the level of commitment you're looking for.

But it just sounds like she wants a free meal, or views whoever is willing to spend the most on her as the best candidate which is fucked up.

Maybe for some people. I wouldn't say no to an ice cream date.

Shamino posted...

Why was the picking up or meeting line awful? He has no way of knowing which way the wind blows without asking.

If youre not comfortable is a line that doesnt need to be said. I can hopefully assume none of us want to make someone feel uncomfortable but mentioning it kinda shows insecurity, lack of confidence. It also kinda puts the why shouldnt I be comfortable thought in her head which is never good. I can swing by and pick you up or maybe like 2ish we can meet there is all you need in that situation.

It seems to me that if she didn't want to get ice cream, she could have suggested something else and the guy would probably still be open to it.

gatorsPENSbucs posted...

it kinda shows insecurity, lack of confidence.

It kinda shows emotional intelligence and sensitivity, both qualities that women find attractive.

ModernPost posted...

It kinda shows emotional intelligence and sensitivity, both qualities that women find attractive.

Of course. People find all types of things attractive, just mentioning in this case right here more than just 1 red flag was shown for what she is into/attractive to.

I've been out of the "online dating" scene for a few years but idk I kind of could see how if you're looking for a real relationship, you're not wasting time lining up dates with people who seem like they read a "how to save money in the dating world: ice cream instead of dinner!" guide and are only putting half a foot in when you have twenty other guys also trying to hook up with you.

It's not a "money" thing, though money is one of the ways that you can indicate "investment". Though for all I know this particular person is really just trying to comp free meals off of clueless guys, so I'm just talking a little more generally.

Anteaterking posted...

I've been out of the "online dating" scene for a few years but idk I kind of could see how if you're looking for a real relationship, you're not wasting time lining up dates with people who seem like they read a "how to save money in the dating world: ice cream instead of dinner!" guide and are only putting half a foot in when you have twenty other guys also trying to hook up with you.

It's not a "money" thing, though money is one of the ways that you can indicate "investment". Though for all I know this particular person is really just trying to comp free meals off of clueless guys, so I'm just talking a little more generally.

I'm going to counter with she should be picking who seems most compatible based on what took place before the date was mentioned. What suddenly changed when the guy mentioned ice cream?

Now, that said, I'm well aware that in the online dating scene people are judged for everything and anything.

Shamino posted...

I'm going to counter with she should be picking who seems most compatible based on what took place before the date was mentioned. What suddenly changed when the guy mentioned ice cream?

Now, that said, I'm well aware that in the online dating scene people are judged for everything and anything.

I feel like that's overly reductionist. Why wouldn't the choice of activity impact the compatibility? Like to go the other direction, if someone was like "okay for our first date we're going on a week long cruise" I would think that they were delusional-ly over-investing.

I use a frozen yogurt place near me for first dates often. Cheap way to check each other's vibes. If things go well there is mini golf across the street and we can continue. If we don't vibe well then I'm out 10 bucks or so.

Whats wrong with ice cream on the first date?

Met my boyfriend at a Baskin Robbins near our college campus during undergrad. We got a scoop and walked around and chatted. It was nice, low-key, and sweet.

In any case they proved not to be a good fit for each other almost immediately so it's a win/win.

First date with my wife was basically gyros at the mall. But we were both 16 and broke.

27 years later, she still gets very excited by "let's go out for ice cream!" Especially if it's someplace we have never tried before.

Anteaterking posted...

I feel like that's overly reductionist. Why wouldn't the choice of activity impact the compatibility? Like to go the other direction, if someone was like "okay for our first date we're going on a week long cruise" I would think that they were delusional-ly over-investing.

Well, the weeklong cruise is creepy, and there's no way to end the date at open sea. (IASIP and Dennis come to mind). With Icecream you can always extend the date if you really hit it off, this seems to be missed by a lot of folks.

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If a girl said this to me, I would be there.