Current Events > So my gran died. Have you ever had to speak at a funeral?

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I made a few topics about two months ago and not really posted that much recently.

Its weird as her actual death didnt affect me as much. I think probably because she had cancer it was when we found out she had cancer and only had a month or so to live at that point I did my mourning so by the time she died it was more of a relief in a messed up way.

I had to say a few words at the church which was a bit nerving but got through it. Have you ever had to say anything at a funeral or give an eulogy?

RIP to her.

I spoke at my dad's funeral years ago

I've never even been to anything like that before. Sorry about Grandma.

I did for my Mum. It was overall pretty cathartic for me. Helped me get through it a fair bit and one of my memories where I feel pretty proud of myself.

I know what you mean about the end feeling like a relief with cancer. It's an odd feeling. Sorry for your loss.

I don't know if it's a cultural thing, but nobody really speaks at funerals here except the pastor conducting them. I didn't say anything at either of my parents'.

Sorry for your loss.

My grandfather passed away last year. I was asked to speak at my grandfather's funeral, but declined for multiple reasons.

I would have spoken at my dads last year but I had to miss it due to having covid.

RyukSan posted...

Sorry for your loss.

My grandfather passed away last year. I was asked to speak at my grandfather's funeral, but declined for multiple reasons.

Ah. Was your gran left behind? I think it hit harder when my grandad died because he was leaving my gran behind and it was heartbreaking seeing her so... well... heartbroken. She wasnt the same since he passed.

I've done it at a few funerals. One for a 25 year old cousin of mine was brutal. He OD'd. It was really tough because his parents put up all the old photos of him as a kid and he was just always watching me in them like he thought I was the coolest person alive

UnholyMudcrab posted...

I don't know if it's a cultural thing, but nobody really speaks at funerals here except the pastor conducting them. I didn't say anything at either of my parents'.

This. I live in the South, and most funerals I've been to are Baptist sermons where onlythe preacher speaks. A family member will introduce them, and that's it.

I spoke at a wake for a nurse friend of mine who passed. I just told two anecdotal stories that were the easiest way to get an idea of the person she had been. It was a period where anyone could come up and speak, and I hadn't planned to until I stood up. Afterwards her daughter thanked me.

i didn't speak at my dads funeral service, but my sister did and did a great job.

punkfanalways posted...

Ah. Was your gran left behind? I think it hit harder when my grandad died because he was leaving my gran behind and it was heartbreaking seeing her so... well... heartbroken. She wasnt the same since he passed.

Yes. I'm worried about her now because I just found out a month ago she has lung cancer that's progressed to such a degree she has trouble breathing.

Apparently my father and her want to keep it a secret to not worry the family, so Im in the dark on the details, including how shes doing beyond, "ok." We also can't visit her because we want to keep her breathing in check (she gets really excited to see her grandkids).

I only know she has cancer because she accidentally revealed it to me and my sister the last time I saw her when we visited her in the hospital for pneumonia. Without giving anymore to my wall of text rant, the hospital had her on something that she doesnt remember telling me and my sister. My father asked us to please not talk about it with anyone else in the family to respect her wishes.

Sounds eerily similar.

Also the dont tell anyone I dont want them to worry is a mindfuck.

So sorry for your loss.

I've only spoken at one funeral and that was for my mom's brother. One of her sister's had written some stuff down but was too upset and nervous to speak. So I did it.

No, I haven't even been to one. The only death of someone I came close to knowing was my stepdad's mom, who I hadn't seen in years at the time and didn't really know what had happened until quite a bit later.

Not likely to change too soon either, as I've cut contact with all the really old people in my family.