Current Events > Wha are your least favourite types of corporate speak, and why?

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S_A_S
08/30/23 3:17:14 PM
#1:


Offices seem like strange environments.
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ironman2009
08/30/23 3:18:15 PM
#2:


Adding the letter u to words that don't have them in it.

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THRILLHO
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S_A_S
08/30/23 3:24:02 PM
#3:


Bump.
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PoopPotato
08/30/23 3:25:02 PM
#4:


Circle back, piggy back, get after it, resilience

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http://i.minus.com/i5EWBMXTN4ERv.gif
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S_A_S
08/30/23 3:26:29 PM
#5:


What do those even mean?
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ArkhamOrigins
08/30/23 3:26:47 PM
#6:


Fuck off Sunhawk

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The
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PeteyParker
08/30/23 3:29:27 PM
#7:


"We need all hands on deck" I was told that for the reason why I had to actually come in to the office for a morning meeting that I had to get through heavy traffic/construction to get to (it takes me 45 minutes to get to the office if there wasn't any of that so it took me much longer). I made it with two minutes to spare and a lot of stress only to find out that the consultants the meeting was with weren't actually on site and were calling in and everyone was just using their laptops for the meeting.

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"How can.. the Prime minister.. support a law.. that makes it illegal for people.. who....What I'm trying to say is.. Oasis rules!"
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Prototypic
08/30/23 3:30:08 PM
#8:


Grammatically questionable alternatives to words and phrases that already exist. "My ask to you is" or "the ask is", asking what our "learnings" were from a completed project, pretty much all Agile terminology, etc.

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Thus I became a madman.
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AldousIsDead
08/30/23 3:37:36 PM
#9:


Corporate newspeak is pretty much the fastest way to make me hate you short of overt hate speech.

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In simplicity, utility. Through utility, simplicity.
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Squall28
08/30/23 3:37:57 PM
#10:


"Let's handle this offline" when you express concerns in a meeting. We ain't talking about this again until the concerns become a reality and the decision fucked us already.

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You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.
-Misattributed to CS Lewis
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MrKapowski
08/30/23 3:41:56 PM
#11:


Why did bump this stupid shit after 6 minutes, TC?

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So! You want to hear a story, eh?
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AldousIsDead
08/30/23 3:45:01 PM
#12:


MrKapowski posted...
Why did bump this stupid shit after 6 minutes, TC?
Because sunhawk.

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In simplicity, utility. Through utility, simplicity.
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Dreepapult
08/30/23 3:47:36 PM
#13:


Hey can you please email an update on that gorbilpn

Oh shit my mrcldroprmeotnsrp bro sorry

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Entropy happens
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Zeeak4444
08/30/23 4:25:50 PM
#14:


Squall28 posted...
"Let's handle this offline" when you express concerns in a meeting. We ain't talking about this again until the concerns become a reality and the decision fucked us already.

meh theres a lot of good reason for that.

Youre work place sounds pretty bad if they use it to sweep under the rug but as a whole talking offline is usually a good suggestion.

for me its efficiency talk since its been muddled down to how can we overload workers as opposed to streamline or refine processes to improve productivity with the same effort given

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Typical gameFAQers are "Complainers that always complain about those who complain about real legitimate complaints."-Joker_X
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