Current Events > *NEW* Study Says That 45% Of Men Have NEVER Approached A Woman!

(+) Yeah! (+)

Goten55 posted...

Eh, I accepted my fate as a forever alone fourteen years ago when my prom date ditched me and I just stood around for the rest of the night just watching everyone else.

Well, this is the saddest thing I've read in a while. And this is a thread full to the brim with sad sacks.

I think this is in the UK, but look at this.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/0/2/5/AABqjYAAE4gZ.jpg

It puts giving women attention, Flirting, and complements, on the same level as the illegal shit like groping, grabbing, and fucking grinding .

splodeymissile posted...

Well, this is the saddest thing I've read in a while. And this is a thread full to the brim with sad sacks.

The stats in the OP show that more and more people are approaching less.

If its unwanted. The point isn't to never flirt, it's to know when to back off

LiberalAgenda8 posted...

The stats in the OP show that more and more people are approaching less.

And that is also very sad. People need to grow a pair.

splodeymissile posted...

If its unwanted. The point isn't to never flirt, it's to know when to back off

Then call it excessive flirting ect. People claim just talking to women is a way that guys can catch a case. And we know this isn't true. But things like this does not help the perception.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Glen Mcrory was charged with SA for allegedly touching 3 people (in court, he argued he only touched their elbow and video footage came out which supported his argument)

The judge threw out the case altogether.
https://twitter.com/CourtNewsUK/status/1707419397151703173

cjsdowg posted...

Then call it excessive flirting ect. People claim just talking to women is a way that guys can catch a case. And we know this isn't true. But things like this does not help the perception.

It literally says unwanted on the fucking pillar, mate. If people can't comprehend that, then maybe it's a small mercy that they're dooming themselves to being single

splodeymissile posted...

It literally says unwanted on the fucking pillar, mate. If people can't comprehend that, then maybe it's a small mercy that they're dooming themselves to being single

Anything physical? Yeah, that's obvious

Repeated attention when they clearly want it to stop? Yeah, that's obvious too.

But how do you know that asking for a number is unwanted or trying to buy someone a drink is unwanted? Personally, I don't advocate walking up to random people and asking for a number, but what if at a bar and you are chatting? The wanted vs unwanted gets tricky for some of these things that can be done in a respectful manner.

cjsdowg posted...

It puts giving women attention, Flirting, and complements, on the same level as the illegal shit like groping, grabbing, and fucking grinding .

No it doesn't. It just says "not ok"

In the same sense that shoplifting and murder are both "not ok" but no one is seriously going to argue they're the same level.

I kinda feel it, glad I actually have someone in my life long term because if I was single these days I just wouldn't have it in me.

Just not a whole lot of positivity in the world today, and a whole lot of verbal negativity. Not specifically in the dating scene, just... everywhere.

Hard to put romance first when you constantly hear the world is burning down around you.

I'm 32 and I've never hit on a woman in person. I always had too much anxiety, along with a myriad of other problems to deal with. My appearance was definitely lacking too lol.

But I've become a lot more confident the last couple of years and my new goal is to approach more women I find attractive (and men/women in general) in social settings. Whether that is the bar or at the beach.

radical_rhino posted...

Most women never approach a man in their life.

I got approached at least once in high school, but I'm the wrong person to do that to. She got nothing. Hopefully it didn't completely obliterate her confidence.

Its hard to approach. All I know to do is compliment, smile and such, and then I typically find out theyre in a relationship, married, etc. and abandon it anyway.

I feel like the only single man in my area, and it makes me feel like an alien.

Git gud I reckon

PraetorXyn posted...

Its hard to approach. All I know to do is compliment, smile and such, and then I typically find out theyre in a relationship, married, etc. and abandon it anyway.

I feel like the only single man in my area, and it makes me feel like an alien.

There's a good chance they're lying and just don't flat out want to seek a relationship. Also note that while being single may feel shitty, breaking up can also feel ten times worst depending on your connections with each other. It played a role why I was so depressed in my highschool years. There's nothing wrong about being single, I think that needs to be hammered in more in our society.

Prestoff posted...

There's a good chance they're lying and just don't flat out want to seek a relationship. Also note that while being single may feel shitty, breaking up can also feel ten times worst depending on your connections with each other. It played a role why I was so depressed in my highschool years. There's nothing wrong about being single, I think that needs to be hammered in more in our society.

I dont think its lies, because Ill see them update their relationship status on Facebook or see the wedding ring (my vision is 20/200, so I cant see it at a distance).

Theres nothing wrong with being single, but there is when youve been single for over 15 years.

I cant drive due to my vision, so I basically just dont get out much. I tried online dating several times, but it got discouraging sending out 5p messages and not getting a single response.

So Im pretty stumped at this point.

Remember I'm just a stranger on the internet, so you don't have to listen to any words I spew. Have you ever tried to put yourself out there? Like going to events with your friends for stuff like community service, concerts, gyms, bars, etc.? I know you say that your vision ain't too great, but certainly you have friends that no how to drive right? My friend kept getting DIU's so I had to drive him, he was nice enough to always paid $10-20 bucks everytime depending how far it was. I met my wife by doing community service at a local Catholic Church, and I'm not even Catholic (in fact Southern Baptists always preach just how bad and evil the Catholic Church is lol). It started off as genuine friendship and it just grew from there.

Prestoff posted...

Remember I'm just a stranger on the internet, so you don't have to listen to any words I spew. Have you ever tried to put yourself out there? Like going to events with your friends for stuff like community service, concerts, gyms, bars, etc.? I know you say that your vision ain't too great, but certainly you have friends that no how to drive right? My friend kept getting DIU's so I had to drive him, he was nice enough to always paid $10-20 bucks everytime depending how far it was. I met my wife by doing community service at a local Catholic Church, and I'm not even Catholic (in fact Southern Baptists always preach just how bad and evil the Catholic Church is lol). It started off as genuine friendship and it just grew from there.

Sort of. Ive only really got the one friend, and hes a home body too (especially since COVID and cancer; barely saw him for about a year), but we go out and shop and eat some. I went to a concert once (got a coworker to drive me).

When I was living in city suburbs and had Uber and stuff, it was more that I was worn out after working all week and didnt want to spend part of the only free days I had trying to go out and meet people which by that point I was convinced wasnt going to work anyway. So Id go see a movie by myself occasionally, and that was about it.

Ive always been introverted and never cared about watching football games and such, and thats about the only social thing around here anyway.

bsp77 posted...

But how do you know that asking for a number is unwanted or trying to buy someone a drink is unwanted? Personally, I don't advocate walking up to random people and asking for a number, but what if at a bar and you are chatting? The wanted vs unwanted gets tricky for some of these things that can be done in a respectful manner.

You say this, but I spend most weekends in a pub or club and I have never had a moment where it seemed ambiguous. If you're chatting and you really like them, you'll naturally ask for their number. If they're not interested, they'll usually let you down politely. This fear mongering is over something that I'm not convinced meaningfully exists.

splodeymissile posted...

You say this, but I spend most weekends in a pub or club and I have never had a moment where it seemed ambiguous. If you're chatting and you really like them, you'll naturally ask for their number. If they're not interested, they'll usually let you down politely. This fear mongering is over something that I'm not convinced meaningfully exists.

Personally, I agree with you. But the seemingly black-and-white positioning of stuff like that sign has scared off so many men from ever taking a shot. I don't like seeing how many truly decent young men suffer because they are afraid of upsetting someone.

bsp77 posted...

Personally, I agree with you. But the seemingly black-and-white positioning of stuff like that sign has scared off so many men from ever taking a shot. I don't like seeing how many truly decent young men suffer because they are afraid of upsetting someone.

Well, the sign seemed pretty clear to me. If its unwanted, don't persist. Frankly, that should be a black and white issue. And I'm a bit cynical on the idea that they're trying to avoid offence and upset. A few may be, but I'm convinced the majority are just trying to save face. Too fragile to experience the possibility of failure, so, they don't try and then make up post facto excuses like how women will apparently cry "rape" if you so much as catch them in the corner of your eye. Most of the people in this topic whining likely have never set foot in any of the social venues they're waffling about.

Incidentally, signs of a similar nature show up inside the clubs themselves (ask for Angela ect) and, shockingly, everyone merrily flirts away regardless. I don't think it's sincere concern taken to a self defeating extreme (at least, not in the majority of circumstances). I find it's cowardice in desperate search of a justification.

splodeymissile posted...

Well, the sign seemed pretty clear to me. If its unwanted, don't persist. Frankly, that should be a black and white issue. And I'm a bit cynical on the idea that they're trying to avoid offence and upset. A few may be, but I'm convinced the majority are just trying to save face. Too fragile to experience the possibility of failure, so, they don't try and then make up post facto excuses like how women will apparently cry "rape" if you so much as catch them in the corner of your eye. Most of the people in this topic whining likely have never set foot in any of the social venues they're waffling about.

Incidentally, signs of a similar nature show up inside the clubs themselves (ask for Angela ect) and, shockingly, everyone merrily flirts away regardless. I don't think it's sincere concern taken to a self defeating extreme (at least, not in the majority of circumstances). I find it's cowardice in desperate search of a justification.

I really do mostly agree with you. But I have met guys with little experience who are afraid to do anything out of fear they do something "wrong". Most of these guys have now managed to eventually date and find someone, but that is because they are social (how I know them). I do always say that if guys just go out, be social, and make friends, relationships will eventually happen. But the guys who are less social don't have a chance.

Seriously, anyone reading this. Get off your ass and be social. I don't care if you are introverted. Almost all my friends are introverts. Sometimes they just need a kick in the ass.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

That can be interpreted two ways. Charitably, repeating it after being unformed if its unwanted is not OK. Thats fine. But some people will interpret it as period, and ask how you know whether or not its unwanted before you do it.

bsp77 posted...

I really do mostly agree with you. But I have met guys with little experience who are afraid to do anything out of fear they do something "wrong". Most of these guys have now managed to eventually date and find someone, but that is because they are social (how I know them). I do always say that if guys just go out, be social, and make friends, relationships will eventually happen. But the guys who are less social don't have a chance.

Seriously, anyone reading this. Get off your ass and be social. I don't care if you are introverted. Almost all my friends are introverts. Sometimes they just need a kick in the ass.

Yeah, this I agree with you on. I just differ on how much sympathy I feel they deserve

I never cared about approaching others or striking up a conversation to begin with.

shockthemonkey posted...

Did you actually read the whole thing, where it said if its unwanted its not ok?

But there is no way to know some of that stuff is unwanted before trying it, which leads men to taking no action at all.

Inohira posted...

But there is no way to know some of that stuff is unwanted before trying it, which leads men to taking no action at all.

They could try having a conversation first, then try flirting if it seems like they might be interested. Nobody is getting arrested for offering to buy someone a drink and then bowing out gracefully if the answer is no. It really is just unjustified cowardice.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

How can some of you be so dense to not understand how this can be a stumbling block for some people? If someone has more black and white thinking, then they will think anything they say or do could be unwanted, so therefore they will do nothing. They would be following literally what it says.

Note that this is not me and I don't believe this, but it is easy to see how that will happen for those who are very introverted and with less social experience..

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

But do you think it is inappropriate to walk up to a woman in a bar and after talking to her, do something like buy her a drink or ask for her number? Personally, I see nothing wrong with that if respectable and not persistent if she declines. The sign makes it seem as if that could be a problem, and many guys seem to now think that.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I'm not. Many men now think if there is a possibility she may even think it is unwanted, then they could get in trouble. Even with innocent things. I do NOT think this is true, but taking the sign literally does not differentiate.

Almost all of us have asked someone out when it was unwanted, but that isn't necessarily what the sign means. The sign is NOT clear to people with literal thinking. Maybe this is a misinterpretation, but then the sign isn't clear. It is too broad.

And once again, this is not about me at all. I haven't had an issue with this.

I actually do think the sign is needed, but can't people see that this causes men with little confidence to have even less?

PraetorXyn posted...

Theres nothing wrong with being single, but there is when youve been single for over 15 years.

Ive been single my whole life and better off for it.

splodeymissile posted...

They could try having a conversation first, then try flirting if it seems like they might be interested. Nobody is getting arrested for offering to buy someone a drink and then bowing out gracefully if the answer is no. It really is just unjustified cowardice.

Attempts at conversation are attention, which is discouraged by the sign.

Dark_Arbron posted...

Ive been single my whole life and better off for it.

If its voluntary, sure. More power to you.

PraetorXyn posted...

If its voluntary, sure. More power to you.

What if it isn't? Asking for a cousin.

PraetorXyn posted...

If its voluntary, sure. More power to you.

Partly so, but yeah.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Oh, I agree about women completely. But you aren't responding to my direct questions. The funny thing is that I am trying to think about some guys who have very black and white thinking, but you fall victim to very black and white thinking as well. You get very set on one course and see no alternatives. I am not trying to argue the sign is wrong (it's not), but I am saying I see how this can impact certain very decent men negatively. I know some men like that.

But once again, I do think teaching guys better social skills will fix a lot of this, both for their own sake and women's sake.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Then answer them. The answer to them is essentially below and shows the issue.

the kind of guy who cant figure out whether his attention is wanted or not should not be ruining anyone elses night out

You can't always tell at first. Most of us have been there. Now as soon as I know, I gracefully depart. But the sign implies even that is wrong.

Why can't you admit this? I am not saying the sign shouldn't exist, but this is why many men need to understand more about social norms. This is about the pitfalls some men have and why they need help.

People like shock are exactly why the TC's red pill gains traction with young men. It tells you what to do and to not care about people who don't want you to do it. The anti-red pill calls your questions stupid and tells you to fuck off if you lack a certain amount of social skills.

The issue isn't necessarily that i can't see that literal minded people might be discouraged from doing anything by the sign, it's that i consider such people to be idiots and don't have any sympathy for them. If you're ability to gauge social cues is so lacking that you can't tell when a woman might at least tolerate a conversation, then you're probably in no danger of ever attempting it in the first place, sign or no sign.
BloodMoon7 posted...

What if it isn't? Asking for a cousin.

Its always voluntary. Providence didn't arbitrarily decide "no sex for you".

splodeymissile posted...

The issue isn't necessarily that i can't see that literal minded people might be discouraged from doing anything by the sign, it's that i consider such people to be idiots and don't have any sympathy for them. If you're ability to gauge social cues is so lacking that you can't tell when a woman might at least tolerate a conversation, then you're probably in no danger of ever attempting it in the first place, sign or no sign.

Its always voluntary. Providence didn't arbitrarily decide "no sex for you".

No sympathy for people with social anxiety or autism or other issues that prevented them from properly learning social cues in the past? That is well... dickish.

I have friends like this and I taught them how to improve themselves. These are good people. Hell, I have autism and I had to teach myself a lot of this as I used to be awkward.