Current Events > Now that the dust has finally settled, was The Bible any good?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Or just its career?

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/5/5/0/AADdfsAAEll2.jpg

There's some literature in there. Daniel is great, as is Mark.

Lots of it is dull.

There are tons of half baked stories that don't resonate anymore, but equally as many iconic scenes.

It's a mixed bag trending to positive from a literature standpoint imo.

0/10

Nothing of value.

https://youtu.be/MhYCuia4LCE?si=X8BdBVmqhUP-gtFa

Which book?

Deuteronomy (book) crawled so Deuteronomy (song) could run a four-minute mile.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDPCMjgIMhQ

Fastest way to make an atheist is to have them read the Bible.

Unfinished crap. The writers are almost as lazy as GRRM

The first edition was great.

But the publishers decided to make edits for the 2nd and subsequent editions. So those suck balls.

And then the sequels are pure garbage.

It would be alright if it wasn't missing a critical disclaimer.

"This work is fictional. Any relation to or overlap with real world events or persons is entirely coincidental."

Slow start but gets good around the end

Ecclesiastes was good

voldothegr8 posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/5/5/0/AADdfsAAEll2.jpg

This is the most hi-res version of this pic I've ever seen.

Lacks continuity; needs a beta.

It was "eh - ok". Kinda metal in some parts.

Some people took it wayyy too seriously though. It's fiction guys.

Still waiting for the Bible 2: Electric Boogaloo.

I thought it was mid, tbh

The part where Jesus went "it's biblin time" and bibled all over the peasants was the only good part.

What's the IGN score? Metacritic?

Prophets and Writings can be decent literature compared to the main Torah.

Partly because it tries agree with archeological history for once.

Overall though, unrelenting garbage.

Iconic and epic

Mastapeece

Never read it cuz the fandom is insufferable.

I like the part where god sent a bear to eat some annoying kids that were making fun of a bald man

The Apocrypha was more interesting, IMO.

Seaman_Prime posted...

I like the part where god sent a bear to eat some annoying kids that were making fun of a bald man

Based

I mean the character change from old to new testament was a bit jarring. But I did like the sketch where they tried to get a guy to kill kids as a bet for funsies.

It had some pretty wild tales, like the tale of Lot.

Lot and his fam were just kinda chillin in their city of Sodom, which God apparently getting fed up with because it was somehow pretty wicked (sounds like a good time to me). So God sends a couple angels down to check out Sodom and tells them "go hard bro, destroy if you think you gotta" so they were like aight bet. The two angels go to Lot's crib and were like "you should bounce, this place is about to get glassed" but Lot and his fam weren't really feeling that.

But Lot was a good dude and offered them some food and said they could stay the night, but apparently Lot had a ton of nosey neighbors who were tripping honestly and were demanding that the angels come out to the mob so they could have a good ol fashioned gang bang. Obv that was sus, but Lot was looking for compromise (in the weirdest fucking way) and was like "chill bro chill, don't fuck my angel friends that I just met tonight, but I'll let you fuck my two daughters who have never done it before, you'll love it (probably)." Anyway, that crowd wasn't convinced and really wanted some AngelAction .

The angels had enough of this tomfoolery so they were just straight up and said to Lot "Now's the time bro. I'm bout to unload, so get tf outta here. And don't look back either, God's orders, fr fr." So Lot wasted no time and took his wife and two daughters and fucking b o l t e d.

Lot's wife still felt kinda pressed though and maybe she forgot her purse or something, so when they were running away from Sodom she kinda looked over her shoulder to see if she still had time to get her Gucci bag, but God said "BOOM bitch" and just glassed her ass. Well, not glass but salt. Idk why, may e it was hunger pangs, but God turned that lady into a pillar of salt.

Well that kinda sucks for Lot but idk he didn't seem to mind that much, he and his 2 daughters decided to go live in a cave outside the ruined city. I guess he loved that shit, because they lived in that cave for years, decades probably.

I don't know if Lot had another plan, but his daughter's I guess felt like they missed their chance with that mob who they were offered up to because they really wanted to get some D, if you know what I mean. But they were reeaaaally down bad, like beyond bad, because their next move was hella sus. They straight up drugged Lot and forced themselves on him in his sleep. That's their dad, bro. But they had baby fever something fierce and they wouldn't let crazy incest get in the way.

So the daughters had babies that at THE SAME TIME were their children and their siblings.

Who tf would come up with this kind of shit, it's wild. The Bible is hilarious.

Its important to keep in mind that it's not a single story. It's several stories all made into a compilation. Some hold up much better than others. The one where the guy says "shit" is pretty cool.

That God guy is kind of a Mary Sue.

Trumble posted...

Its important to keep in mind that it's not a single story. It's several stories all made into a compilation. Some hold up much better than others. The one where the guy says "shit" is pretty cool.

This. You can also call them "parables" and that's pretty lit

ArchonKnight posted...

It had some pretty wild tales, like the tale of Lot.

Lot and his fam were just kinda chillin in their city of Sodom, which God apparently getting fed up with because it was somehow pretty wicked (sounds like a good time to me). So God sends a couple angels down to check out Sodom and tells them "go hard bro, destroy if you think you gotta" so they were like aight bet. The two angels go to Lot's crib and were like "you should bounce, this place is about to get glassed" but Lot and his fam weren't really feeling that.

But Lot was a good dude and offered them some food and said they could stay the night, but apparently Lot had a ton of nosey neighbors who were tripping honestly and were demanding that the angels come out to the mob so they could have a good ol fashioned gang bang. Obv that was sus, but Lot was looking for compromise (in the weirdest fucking way) and was like "chill bro chill, don't fuck my angel friends that I just met tonight, but I'll let you fuck my two daughters who have never done it before, you'll love it (probably)." Anyway, that crowd wasn't convinced and really wanted some AngelAction .

The angels had enough of this tomfoolery so they were just straight up and said to Lot "Now's the time bro. I'm bout to unload, so get tf outta here. And don't look back either, God's orders, fr fr." So Lot wasted no time and took his wife and two daughters and fucking b o l t e d.

Lot's wife still felt kinda pressed though and maybe she forgot her purse or something, so when they were running away from Sodom she kinda looked over her shoulder to see if she still had time to get her Gucci bag, but God said "BOOM bitch" and just glassed her ass. Well, not glass but salt. Idk why, may e it was hunger pangs, but God turned that lady into a pillar of salt.

Well that kinda sucks for Lot but idk he didn't seem to mind that much, he and his 2 daughters decided to go live in a cave outside the ruined city. I guess he loved that shit, because they lived in that cave for years, decades probably.

I don't know if Lot had another plan, but his daughter's I guess felt like they missed their chance with that mob who they were offered up to because they really wanted to get some D, if you know what I mean. But they were reeaaaally down bad, like beyond bad, because their next move was hella sus. They straight up drugged Lot and forced themselves on him in his sleep. That's their dad, bro. But they had baby fever something fierce and they wouldn't let crazy incest get in the way.

So the daughters had babies that at THE SAME TIME were their children and their siblings.

Who tf would come up with this kind of shit, it's wild. The Bible is hilarious.

Maybe its a metaphor for the collapse of an ancient civilization, like prior to cave men.

it's wierd that it took them 40 years to walk from Egypt to the Levant

brestugo posted...

The Apocrypha was more interesting, IMO.

Depends on the apocrypha. Some of it is great, like the Book of Enoch and the Gnostic Gospels. Stuff like Shepherd of Hermas not so much.

ROBANN_88 posted...

it's wierd that it took them 40 years to walk from Egypt to the Levant

Traffic was a bitch even then.