Current Events > Remember when God told some dude to sacrifice his son?

(+) Yeah! (+)

then he was like: i was just kidding lmao chill

Thou shalt not......name a thing.

Unless I tell you to do it, then it's k.

Remember when he ruined the life of a good guy just to prove a point for Satan?

Remember when God told people it's okay to beat your slaves as long as they don't die immediately?

Yea. Gods an asshole. I have never understood how Christians read the human sacrifice story and don't come out thinking God is a psychopath

Zikten posted...

Yea. Gods an asshole. I have never understood how Christians read the human sacrifice story and don't come out thinking God is a psychopath

Old Testament vs New Testament

No source, didn't happen

UnfairRepresent posted...

Old Testament vs New Testament

Which is why I always have thought Christians should not include the old testament. New Testament only makes sense if you say old never happened or has nothing to do with new

Don't worry it's just a story

Remember when Jesus said poop will save your soul?

Zikten posted...

Which is why I always have thought Christians should not include the old testament. New Testament only makes sense if you say old never happened or has nothing to do with new

It make sense in a "God works in mysterious ways, now be fucking happy that he turned nicer, just look at what he used to be!" way.

God kill count I'm the Bible: billions
Satan kill count in the Bible: 4, all of which God dared him to do

The fuck get the mods here and take everyone down for spoilers

Remember when God called Billy Gunn Bob and when Billy tried to correct him, God said it doesnt matter?

First recorded epic troll.

https://youtu.be/kQuyC3eLgVA?si=T2LtQxXvi6oPJS4d

Zikten posted...

Which is why I always have thought Christians should not include the old testament. New Testament only makes sense if you say old never happened or has nothing to do with new

Old Testament God is the same guy who tried to tempt Jesus in the desert. That's why he was offering the world, because he owns it. He has the world within a firewall, and Jesus is trying to get us out of it.

ZEROWOLF posted...

https://youtu.be/kQuyC3eLgVA?si=T2LtQxXvi6oPJS4d

Just to add to the fucked upness.

God told him to murder but didn't tell him not to murder. An angel turned up and told him not to murder.

where their worm dieth not and the fire is not quenched

how much less man that is a worm and the son of man which is worm

*Send people to hell over for the dumbest reasons, some even out of a person's control, where they suffer horribly forever with no chance of parole or mercy*
*Loves you*

Isn't it funny when you bring any of this stuff up in this topic you're called a fedora tipping euphoric angsthiest? It's like they have no arguments against any of it.

AloneIBreak posted...

Remember when God called Billy Gunn Bob and when Billy tried to correct him, God said it doesnt matter?

God loves remaining people for no reason. Sorry Abram, you're getting an extra syllable bc I said so!

No, but i remember the newer version of it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtsUmmCBCaQ

Foppe posted...

Remember when he ruined the life of a good guy just to prove a point for Satan?

God: "Thou shall not tempt the Lord"
Satan: "I bet that dude only likes you because you're nice to him."
God: "OH YEAH?! WATCH THIS!!!!"

If God made humans in his image, and most people are assholes, that tells you pretty much all you need to know about the guy himself.

Friends,

there is a show called "Good Omens" they have a devil and an angel.

well many times they go back in time, in the bible, and you see just HOW nuts the angels were.

Like with Job, they let the devil kill his animals, his wifes, his kids. and destroy his house and farm.

so kill EVERYTHING thing.

The show plays off this, like if God is so good, why does he let the devil kill everyone.

I have also seen at trump rallies, a Anti abortion sign.. God is Pro LIFE. the interviewer asks, did not God kill everyone on the earth for Noah's flood????

The Protestor just shuts up and keeps walking. jajajajaj

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1869454/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Va14oiiZ6U8

Foppe posted...

Remember when he ruined the life of a good guy just to prove a point for Satan?

Technically god didn't do that he allowed Satan to do whatever he wanted to Job except harm him. Not that that's much better.

Keep in mind most of the Genesis stories are not about faith. If God directly commands you to do something, you don't do it out of faith, but out of fear. There's no faith involved, since you are getting direct evidence of the supernatural. Abraham "believed" in God for the same reason Persephone "believed" in Hades, and we believe in electricity.

Crimsoness posted...

Technically god didn't do that he allowed Satan to do whatever he wanted to Job except harm him. Not that that's much better.

TIL intentionally riddling someone with staph infections isn't harm according to God.

tankboy posted...

Keep in mind most of the Genesis stories are not about faith. If God directly commands you to do something, you don't do it out of faith, but out of fear. There's no faith involved, since you are getting direct evidence of the supernatural. Abraham "believed" in God for the same reason Persephone "believed" in Hades, and we believe in electricity.

It's almost as if these stories were all written over centuries by different people who never met each and had no intention of them being one cohesive message about reality.

HairyQueen posted...

It's almost as if these stories were all written over centuries by different people who never met each and had no intention of them being one cohesive message about reality.

"Officially" they were all written by Moses. Only the new testament has different authors.

Tyranthraxus posted...

"Officially" they were all written by Moses. Only the new testament has different authors.

Well that's not even what Christian scholars say about the OT.

Traditionally, both Jews and Christians believe Moses is the author and compiler of Genesis and each of the first five books of the Bible also called the Pentateuch:

Genesis - Moses
Exodus - Moses
Leviticus - Moses
Numbers - Moses
Deuteronomy - Moses

These are the five Books of the Law: Genesis, meaning "beginning" since it recounts the beginning of God's creation; Exodus, which means "exit" or "departure," referring to the journey of the Hebrews from out of slavery in Egypt; Leviticus, a book detailing worship as led by the priests ordained from the tribe of Levi; Numbers, whose title is derived from the book's opening account of the census or numbering of the people of Israel; Deuteronomy, meaning "second law" since it gives a detailed listing of the additional laws given by God through Moses.

Joshua - Unknown
Judges - Unknown
Ruth - Unknown
1 & 2 Samuel - Unknown
1 & 2 Kings - Unknown
1 & 2 Chronicles - Ezra
Ezra - Ezra
Nehemiah - Nehemiah
Esther - Unknown

This second group of the Old Testament is known as the historical books.
Job - Unknown
Psalms - Various: David is credited for 73 of the Psalms, Asaph is credited for 12, Sons of Korah for 11, Solomon for 2, Moses, Ethan, and Heman for 1 each, and 50 are unknown.
Proverbs - Various: Solomon is credited for 29 of the Proverbs, while Agur and Lemuel for 1 each.
Ecclesiastes - Solomon
Song of Solomon - Solomon
This third group of the Old Testament is the books of Wisdom, proclaiming that happiness is possible only through faith in and obedience to the one true God.
Isaiah - Isaiah
Jeremiah - Jeremiah
Lamentations - Jeremiah
Ezekiel - Ezekiel
Daniel - Daniel
Hosea - Hosea
Joel - Joel
Amos - Amos
Obadiah - Obadiah
Jonah - Jonah
Micah - Micah
Nahum - Nahum
Habakkuk - Habakkuk
Zephaniah - Zephaniah
Haggai - Haggai
Zechariah - Zechariah
Malachi - Malachi

https://www.christianity.com/wiki/bible/who-wrote-the-bible-the-authors-of-each-book.html

And then the LORD said: it was just a prank bro

Ah mb

1) The 10 Commandments didnt exist yet.
2) This story exists in Islam too, but it was Ishmael instead of Isaac.

I tried reading the bible but got up to Deuteronomy and had to stop. Just lost interest at that spot.

God was a lot younger then, and he was going through some shit.

Sariana21 posted...

1) The 10 Commandments didnt exist yet.
2) This story exists in Islam too, but it was Ishmael instead of Isaac.

Many stories from OT and NT appears in Islam, most with differences because a specific prophet couldnt read and misunderstood some things.
Like the Last Supper. In Islam, Jesus & CO was out walking when Jesus suddenly said "Dang, Im hungry!". So God sent down a table filled with food, which they ate from. And thats it.

Yeah, Islam recongonizes Jesus as a cool dude, just not the son of God