Current Events > women being weird when you offer them things

(+) Yeah! (+)

Like with coworkers, you ask a male coworker

"Hey you want some pizza" and they're like "sure awesome, thanks man"

You ask the same to a female coworker they're like

"Uhhhh, noooooo, I'm good, thank you though"

Everytime

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Yeah this. There's implications that they have to consider, so they're more wary. Once they see that you don't have ulterior motives, they'll relax a bit more.

Also like, some people watch their weight and don't want to just you know, shovel down crap every day. I give the exact same answer as the women any time a coworker offers me something to eat.

lol bro on here telling on himself, they think you're creepy dude

Scenario 1) they're not being "weird", they're being politely cautious, likely due to previous negative experiences.

Scenario 2) they don't want the food. Turning down an offer isn't weird.

It's quite possible neither scenario is about you, so you'll just have to accept their response and try not to overthink it.

It's not weird to say 'no, thank you'.

Nice anecdotal evidence. I'm the only man in an otherwise all women workplace and I see them take offers all the time. In fact I will sometimes decline snacks because I'm trying to diet.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I'm ignoring whether the TCs story is true or not and even if it did happen, plenty of men do the same thing.

So with that tabled, just like not every woman are not the vile vixens looking to do whatever red pill types claim..... not all men are sexual predators who only do favors to get in a woman's pants.

What's wrong to accuse one gender of something all the time is also wrong to accuse another.

Weird if youre a waiter

CoyoteTheGreat posted...

Also like, some people watch their weight and don't want to just you know, shovel down crap every day. I give the exact same answer as the women any time a coworker offers me something to eat.

True, I'm a guy, and I almost always reject any sweets my coworkers offer. Cake, pie, cookies, etc. They don't even ask me now, because they know I won't want it lol.

are you comparing male coworkers you interact with often, with female coworkers you never interact with

because then yes obviously that's the result

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

None of this changes what I said.

If it's wrong to claim most woman are after whatever red pill types claim woman are after, it's also wrong to jump into a conversation automatically claiming as such for a man.

Then jumping to the logic that just because bad woman or men exist, that the logic is justified to generalize.

Not every man is a sexual predator looking to get in a woman's pants if they do something nice for them, just like not all woman are interested in a guy if they do something nice. It's also not true just because a person can allege a man or woman had nefarious intentions in their nice deed when that might not be necessarily true. Same to being able to point at another example where bad woman and men exist.

It's possible for a person to not be hungry or to not wanna eat random food at all times during the day, nothing weird about that.

This topic has nothing to do with women being cautious about ulterior motives.

TCs example is women just declining pizza lmao. Thats not even a I can eat this at anytime food.

asdf8562 posted...

None of this changes what I said.

If it's wrong to claim most woman are after whatever red pill types claim woman are after, it's also wrong to jump into a conversation automatically claiming as such for a man.

Then jumping to the logic that just because bad woman or men exist, that the logic is justified to generalize.

Not every man is a sexual predator looking to get in a woman's pants if they do something nice for them, just like not all woman are interested in a guy if they do something nice. It's also not true just because a person can allege a man or woman had nefarious intentions in their nice deed when that might not be necessarily true. Same to being able to point at another example where bad woman and men exist.

But women are generally wary of men that they aren't that familiar with. It sucks, but it is what it is. No one is saying that all men have ill intentions. But it is something that women are aware of, in a general sense. So that makes it a possible reason for TC to get the reactions that he does. It doesn't mean it's the only reason. Just one possibility. I'm not sure why you're getting so hung up on absolutes.

I was raised to not accept gifts, at least not at first, so that I don't look greedy. The habit stuck as I grew, so my response is more like a woman's according to TC.

Being female sounds stressful sometimes.

C_Pain posted...

Nice anecdotal evidence. I'm the only man in an otherwise all women workplace and I see them take offers all the time. In fact I will sometimes decline snacks because I'm trying to diet.

That falls in line with the whole "caution around men" thing.

Also I'm jealous. Being in a mostly older female work environment gets you so much coddling.

NoxObscuras posted...

But women are generally wary of men that they aren't that familiar with. It sucks, but it is what it is. No one is saying that all men have ill intentions. But it is something that women are aware of, in a general sense. So that makes it a possible reason for TC to get the reactions that he does. It doesn't mean it's the only reason. Just one possibility. I'm not sure why you're getting so hung up on absolutes.

I'm hung up on it because the double standards some happily embrace.

If a post read, "Because too many woman expect to get [insert red pill things men think woman are after] as a thank you and men are on their guard" it would rightfully be attacked.

In their twisted rationale they are justified in thinking most woman are these bad people after only afyer whatever they claim theyre after.

My point is, I completely tabled the TCs scenario as a man or woman behavior. I already said both men and woman do the TCs scenario. This isn't particular to just woman. I turn down shit all the time for a variety of reasons. So what's wrong to generalize all woman should also be wrong to generalize men for too. Turning down a nice gesture from a man or woman, is not a gender neutral thing. Nor is the person doing the nice gesture always looking for some nefarious malicious plot that some generalize an entire gender into looking for.

Thing I think needs to be factored in isn't just whether you are predatory or not, but when such an incident do you victim blame or trash the rapist?

I mean stereotyping is a problem, but I think it helps if we come down harsh on members of our gender who give the stereotypes validity.

In short, apathy towards rape/sexual harassment victims and enabling the predator is arguably just as bad as doing them directly.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

No, the equivalency I'm making is:

If a post read, "Because too many woman expect to get [insert red pill things men think woman are after like marriage, children, etc] as a 'thank you' so for that reason men are on their guard" it would rightfully be attacked.

In their twisted rationale they think they are justified in thinking most woman are these bad people only after whatever they claim woman are after.

I also don't think the TCs little scenario has anything to do with being a woman specific behavior. Men do exactly what the TC is claiming woman do, as well.

Don't smile too hard.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

What I'm saying then is the same thing I'm saying now.

It hasn't changed.

Being cautious has nothing to do with embracing the idea that an entire or "too many" insert gender are evil creatures after one thing. Regardless of gender. If it's wrong to jump to that conclusion for woman, it's also wrong to jump to that for men.

asdf8562 posted...

Being cautious has nothing to do with embracing the idea that an entire gender are evil creatures after one thing.

Was someone saying that about men in the first place? Being generally cautious doesn't mean you think everyone of x group is evil, but because you can't easily tell which ones are trouble, you're gonna be... generally cautious, at least until you learn more.

asdf8562 posted...

No, the equivalency I'm making is:

If a post read, "Because too many woman expect to get [insert red pill things men think woman are after like marriage, children, etc] as a 'thank you' so for that reason men are on their guard" it would rightfully be attacked.

In their twisted rationale they think they are justified in thinking most woman are these bad people only after whatever they claim woman are after.

I also don't think the TCs little scenario has anything to do with being a woman specific behavior. Men do exactly what the TC is claiming woman do, as well.

Well the way I understood TC's example, was that it's something that's a constant for him. Not just something that happened one time. As in, the women he works with decline every time he offers them something. Which is why some people, myself included, brought up the example of women being wary of things like that.

Because there are literally men out there, who do nice things for women with an expectation that the woman will date him, or owe him in some way. And those same men tend to get really angry and hostile when the women accept his "nice things" but still reject his advances. Women being wary of that happening, is not the same as saying that all men do this. Being wary comes from the fact that, since they aren't psychic, they don't know which guys are actually like this, until they get to know them better. So in that case, it's better to ere on the side of caution with men they aren't that close to. Because sometimes that anger from those specific men, turn into assault, or worse. It's not because "all men do this" or "most men do this" or anything like that. It's that, even if it's only 10% of guys out there that react in that way, the risk it poses still causes a lot of women to want to avoid being put into that situation, ever.

Which is why I said you're focusing too much on absolutes. It's not the type of thing where either all men are evil or no men are evil.

R1masher posted...

Weird if youre a waiter

not so much if pizza isnt on the menu

Guide posted...

Was someone saying that about men in the first place? Being generally cautious doesn't mean you think everyone of x group is evil, but because you can't easily tell which ones are trouble, you're gonna be... generally cautious, at least until you learn more.

My point is the logic being used conveniently only applies to one gender. The "just being cautious" logic shouldn't only apply to woman.

If this topic was about a man being "weird" (to be clear, Im only using the TCs word, as I dont think the woman turning down free pizza is weird nor a female specific behavior) about something, with the man refusing the idea for a non gender specific reason. The answer was a simple respectful, no thanks.

Now, let a post read, "Because too many woman expect to get something like money out of the man so for that reason men are on their guard" it would rightfully be attacked. As just because you can point at certain woman who act predatory for free shit, doesn't mean it's justified to think this scenario had anything to do with thinking the woman had some nefarious intent.

asdf8562 posted...

My point is the logic being used conveniently only applies to one gender. The "just being cautious" logic shouldn't only apply to woman.

If this topic was about a man being "weird" (to be clear, Im only using the TCs word, as I dont think the woman turning down free pizza is weird nor a female specific behavior) about something, with the man refusing the idea for a non gender specific reason. The answer was a simple respectful, no thanks.

Now, let a post read, "Because too many woman expect to get something like money out of the man so for that reason men are on their guard" it would rightfully be attacked. As just because you can point at certain woman who act predatory for free shit, doesn't mean it's justified to think this scenario had anything to do with thinking the woman had some nefarious intent.

Ah, this is more about users on the board than the argument itself.

I mean, yes, I think you have something if that's the case. Sure, a man can have reasons for being cautious of women, depending on circumstances. This is kinda why we all cross the street when we might instead walk past an lone woman on the sidewalk.

asdf8562 posted...

My point is the logic being used conveniently only applies to one gender. The "just being cautious" logic shouldn't only apply to woman.

If this topic was about a man being "weird" (to be clear, Im only using the TCs word, as I dont think the woman turning down free pizza is weird nor a female specific behavior) about something, with the man refusing the idea for a non gender specific reason. The answer was a simple respectful, no thanks.

Now, let a post read, "Because too many woman expect to get something like money out of the man so for that reason men are on their guard" it would rightfully be attacked. As just because you can point at certain woman who act predatory for free shit, doesn't mean it's justified to think this scenario had anything to do with thinking the woman had some nefarious intent.

It's a fact that women have to be cautious about things that men don't.

And in your last example, that absolutely is something that men have to be on guard for. So no, that post wouldn't be attacked. We've actually had topics that talk about women trying to make men pay for $400+ first date dinners and most of the responses were talking about why it's better to do cheaper things like, go for coffee on a first date. Specifically to avoid the possibility that a woman might try to prey on men for a free meal. And it was understood there, that it wasn't saying that all women were like that. Just that it was a possibility to be on guard about.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Yes, and contrary to your woman are angels belief, a man can be cautious about a woman as well for several reasons.

Being cautious is fine, however generalizations of entire genders are still bad regardless if it's on males or females.

The ways men sometimes need to be cautious are not the same as the ways women regularly need to be cautious.

Dude I'm trying to pass the peace pipe here but you're on something else. I'm out.

Some women just don't want pizza. Weird to put a lot of thought into it

Guide posted...

Ah, this is more about users on the board than the argument itself.

I mean, yes, I think you have something if that's the case. Sure, a man can have reasons for being cautious of women, depending on circumstances. This is kinda why we all cross the street when we might instead walk past an lone woman on the sidewalk.

Not specifically singling out anyone, but I guess you can say that. Also not all or most users either, just those that tend to be okay with generalizing men, but not okay with generalizing woman. The same types that also seem to argue woman (again, not most) dont or cant do anything to men.

I don't think either should be generalized.

NoxObscuras posted...

It's a fact that women have to be cautious about things that men don't.

That also applies to a man as well. There are things a woman has to be more cautious about than men. There are things that a man has to be more cautious than woman.

NoxObscuras posted...

And in your last example, that absolutely is something that men have to be on guard for. So no, that post wouldn't be attacked. We've actually had topics that talk about women trying to make men pay for $400+ first date dinners and most of the responses were talking about why it's better to do cheaper things like, go for coffee on a first date. Specifically to avoid the possibility that a woman might try to prey on men for a free meal. And it was understood there, that it wasn't saying that all women were like that. Just that it was a possibility to be on guard about.

Hard disagree on this.

I just want to start off by saying I definitely don't think most woman are opting for 400 dollar dinners. While on that note, topics that bring so called "viral" videos about the minority of woman who do get ridiculous, often has a percentage dubbing its so clearly fake because apparently woman can't possibly do this sort of thing. I'd also take it a step further and say any topic specifically being made perpetuating men need to watch out for gold digging woman would rightfully be attacked as red pill or incel content.

I want to be clear again that's not what most woman are out here doing.

Villain_S_Fiend posted...

The ways men sometimes need to be cautious are not the same as the ways women regularly need to be cautious.

Please provide examples of this.

Man this topic got out of control really fast lol.

NoxObscuras posted...

Well the way I understood TC's example, was that it's something that's a constant for him. Not just something that happened one time. As in, the women he works with decline every time he offers them something. Which is why some people, myself included, brought up the example of women being wary of things like that.

Because there are literally men out there, who do nice things for women with an expectation that the woman will date him, or owe him in some way. And those same men tend to get really angry and hostile when the women accept his "nice things" but still reject his advances. Women being wary of that happening, is not the same as saying that all men do this. Being wary comes from the fact that, since they aren't psychic, they don't know which guys are actually like this, until they get to know them better. So in that case, it's better to ere on the side of caution with men they aren't that close to. Because sometimes that anger from those specific men, turn into assault, or worse. It's not because "all men do this" or "most men do this" or anything like that. It's that, even if it's only 10% of guys out there that react in that way, the risk it poses still causes a lot of women to want to avoid being put into that situation, ever.

Which is why I said you're focusing too much on absolutes. It's not the type of thing where either all men are evil or no men are evil.

1. Doing nice things for people with the intention of something more/ulterior motive is not gender specific.
2. All genders get rejected. Some of whom act more crazy than others. It only seems more common because certain parties are told to approach more
3. As a short 5'7 guy, I'm at risk of

A.Police brutality
B. Potentially being assaulted by gang members if they presume that I'm in a gang or wear certain colors
C. Getting my belongings stolen in bad neighborhoods
D.Getting into physical fights/altercations more often
D. Get looked down upon due to mental health or talking about certain stuff.
E. Being strung along and not having as much chances in relationships
F. Not having a strong social circle, as men get older they tend to lose a lot of their friends and get to points where they are lonely.

most "dating" situations the woman isn't approaching you first about money.

Sugar relationships or sugar intent are becoming increasingly more common in current society

You don't have women running up to you on the streets badgering you for money and worse case scenario

Depends on the area you're at. Some areas tend to be drug ridden or full of desperate people to where both genders can or have badger or harass randoms for money.

? You can walk away.

If the other person has hidden or ulterior intent, they can still decide to yell at me or attack me or rob me. And yes, I'm saying a guy can do this to me.

Why did this turn into a topic with multiple paragraph-long debates