Current Events > Pro-Life Woman Struggles to Get Abortion In State Where Abortion Is Banned

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SPRINGFIELD, Mo. At 6:30 a.m. on Aug. 2, nearly 18 weeks into her pregnancy, Mylissa Farmer experienced what doctors call a preterm premature rupture of membranes her water broke before labor, followed by vaginal bleeding, abdominal pressure and cramping.

She went to Freeman Hospital in Joplin, Missouri, where she'd been just the day before. Everything had been normal then. She and her boyfriend, Matthew McNeill, had already picked out a name for their daughter: Maeve.

But the doctors had devastating news for them.

If Maeve was delivered right then, chances of survival at 17 weeks and 5 days were zero, according to the assessment and plan section of Farmer's medical records outlining the visit. And the outcome wasn't much better if they tried to hold off on delivery.

The doctors recommended terminating the pregnancy but 39 days after the state of Missouri banned abortions, that wasn't an option, at least not in Missouri.

A year ago, the hospital could have offered a chance for the couple to say goodbye and hold their daughter, even though they knew she wouldn't survive outside the womb.

Instead, Farmer and McNeill were left to make a series of trips across three states and countless phone calls.

The couple wanted to be able to grieve the loss of their daughter, not sit at home or in a hospital "with a baby dying inside me," Farmer said.

In the end, Farmer didn't just lose Maeve; she lost her friends and her trust that Missouri would allow medical professionals to do their jobs.

If her vitals plummeted or infection set in, or the fetus' cardiac activity stopped, the doctors could intervene, but not before then.

At 41, Farmer worried that, by the time there was an emergency, it would be too late for both her and Maeve. And even if Farmer did live through it, she worried about what her recovery would be like.

She was already at "risks of maternal thrombosis given her history of (deep vein thrombosis during a COVID-19 infection), infection/sepsis, severe blood loss, hysterotomy, hysterectomy and even mortality," according to the medical record.

Farmer returned to Freeman Hospital on Aug. 3, staying overnight for observation and looking up stories about water breaking early after a nurse mentioned that antibiotics might allow Farmer to carry to term without infection.

But reality came crashing down when more doctors came to advise them.

One newborn intensive care unit doctor "went over the whole baby being deformed because their bones are so soft, she would have permanent disabilities the rest of her life even if she made it," Farmer said. "But he said because my cervix was open, there was no chance for me to even make it 6 weeks."

"The thing he said was, 'There are things worse than death, and I have seen it.'"

Rather than stay at the hospital to wait for infection to set in, Farmer went home to wait, monitoring her temperature and her pain. On Aug. 4, she called her state senator, Bill White, and explained her situation to an aide.

He told her, "Thats not what the law was designed for. Its designed to protect the womans life."

"Its not protecting me. We have to wait for the heartbeat (to stop). Theres no chance for a baby; shes not going to make it. Its putting my life in danger," Farmer said she remembers telling him. "We just want to move on, we just want to grieve."

Farmer describes herself as "pretty pro-life" and Christian. She then did something she never thought she would do: Begin looking for abortion clinics.

Planned Parenthood in Kansas, she said, was overbooked. They couldn't find anyone in Illinois. It was looking like they would have to travel to Colorado.

After reaching out to a couple abortion services that help with finances and facilitating the procedure, one person contacted the Illinois HOPE Clinic for Farmer.

"It did my heart good to know I was doing the right thing," she said, as if her body was telling her that it was OK.

But still, the experience was harrowing. Protesters in front of the clinic echoed the things her friends had told her, "saying we were killing our baby and that we were evil."

"It was awful, you know? We were just going through so much. We didnt want this ... but at the same time, we had no choice," Farmer said.

The loss isn't limited to their child.

The friends who told her she was killing her child have since been cut out of her life.

"I either told them not to contact me or unfriended them, because we were getting judged harshly," Farmer said. "It was just more insult to injury that people are so uninformed and so unsympathetic."

Since their ordeal, Farmer has lost trust. While she still feels her obstetrician at Freeman Hospital in Joplin is a good doctor, she's worried about whether medical professionals in Missouri will be able to offer patients necessary care.

She's lost trust in the politicians who represent her, as well.

Despite reaching out to various legislators, she has yet to receive an answer that satisfies her: Why is this law written this way? If it's to protect women, why did she have to be in danger before she could get care in-state? Why is it such a binary law?

"The world is too nuanced to put such strict rules in place," Farmer said.

people are so uninformed and so unsympathetic.

https://joycearthur.com/abortion/the-only-moral-abortion-is-my-abortion/

Ive had several cases over the years in which the anti-abortion patient had rationalized in one way or another that her case was the only exception, but the one that really made an impression was the college senior who was the president of her campus Right-to-Life organization, meaning that she had worked very hard in that organization for several years. As I was completing her procedure, I asked what she planned to do about her high office in the RTL organization. Her response was a wide-eyed, Youre not going to tell them, are you!? When assured that I was not, she breathed a sigh of relief, explaining how important that position was to her and how she wouldnt want this to interfere with it.

A Planned Parenthood handbook on abortion notes that nearly half of all abortions are for women who describe themselves as born-again Christian, Evangelical Christian, or Catholic. (4)

That's what makes for a republican. She had to learn the hard way, but at least she's alive and understanding, now.

She's lost trust in the politicians who represent her, as well.

Missouri is more of a failed state than an actual state.

I know we s*** on the modern Republican but I swear they use to be decent? people 20 or so years ago. I would disagree with many of their takes but they at least had a decent baseline for ethics. DECENT. Not good.

It's almost like the exact fucking thing we told you was gonna happen happened, lady.

^ And it seems many of them go right back to being pro-life and picketing clinics after they get their abortion! wtf?!

edit: @ #12

I've said dumb stuff about abortion, but these own-goals are beautiful. Maybe they should form a soccer team!

I mean Im Catholic but I definitely believe in the right to an abortion.

Shit my kid is in religion class and the teacher though it would be a wonderful idea for the kids to ask for a donation in their name for Christmas and for them to share it with the class to see what a difference they are making. I am going to make a donation to Planned Parenthood and watch the teachers head explode. I personally cant wait.

She got exactly what she voted for. She should be thrilled!

https://joycearthur.com/abortion/the-only-moral-abortion-is-my-abortion/

That's actually very interesting.

This one particularly stuck out:

Like what

Yes. I read an account years ago that described an event where a woman who had been picketing the abortion clinic one day came in with her daughter to get the procedure done for her. While the abortion was being performed, the mother was telling the staff that this didn't change anything and that they were still evil for providing abortions, and the next day the mother was right back outside protesting the clinic.

It might have been in that link posted above and maybe I'm misremembering the details at this point, but it's been a long time since I've read it.