Current Events > Situation with girl that friend zoned me. Stop my delusions.

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Kazuma_Yagami
04/23/24 1:56:12 PM
#1:


Met this girl on a dating app a month ago.
Had 3 good dates. At the end of the 3rd date we were at her place. I gave her a hug goodbye. She texts me later that night and says she wanted to kiss me but also take things slow.

Next morning I text her looking to setup plans. She says that she has enjoyed her time and that I am an awesome person but she doesnt know if we are compatible and also she said it wouldnt be fair to me to go out with me because she still isnt over an ex. Oh well.

She said she still wanted to be friends but ever since then we havent talked (about 3 weeks ago)

Her birthday is in two weeks and i got her a present while we were dating but obviously we are not now. Should I reach out on her birthday and give it to her?

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#2
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Kazuma_Yagami
04/23/24 2:00:04 PM
#3:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


:(

Im doing it anyway idc

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Winterking
04/23/24 2:00:28 PM
#4:


She got back with her ex or is being string along by them, and shes keeping you on the line if it doesnt work out. Cut bait and run.
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gamepimp12
04/23/24 2:00:35 PM
#5:


Yeah do you gotta let that go.

youre holding on to nothing.

yall where never serious enough for you to even buy her a gift in the first place.

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NoxObscuras
04/23/24 2:02:09 PM
#6:


No, return that gift and get your money back. Most of the time the "we can still be friends" is just them trying to soften the blow of the rejection. I had multiple women tell me that and then fall off the face of the earth afterwards.

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gamepimp12
04/23/24 2:03:07 PM
#7:


Winterking posted...
She got back with her ex or is being string along by them, and shes keeping you on the line if it doesnt work out. Cut bait and run.


Shes not even keeping him on the line. She completely ghosted him.

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Kazuma_Yagami
04/23/24 2:03:13 PM
#8:


yeah yall are right i just needed to hear it.

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Itachi157
04/23/24 2:04:08 PM
#9:


Ill go with no too. Just move on and dont talk to her unless she reaches out again. Give the present to another woman/friend in your life who itd be appropriate to give a gift to if you dont want it to go to waste.
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archizzy
04/23/24 2:04:33 PM
#10:


gamepimp12 posted...
Yeah do you gotta let that go.

youre holding on to nothing.


Hell of a statement considering its coming from you of all people.


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Kazuma_Yagami
04/23/24 2:05:28 PM
#11:


im telling her happy birthday and going from there. i dont have any expectations. ive already been with other girls since but this girl is just likedamn.

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Winterking
04/23/24 2:07:27 PM
#12:


gamepimp12 posted...
Shes not even keeping him on the line. She completely ghosted him.
Good looking out, I saw they hadnt talked in three weeks and interpreted that as hadnt *talked* in three weeks
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Hayame_Zero
04/23/24 2:08:01 PM
#13:


Yeah, everyone else said what I was going to.

Do NOT give her the present, that's something that's usually reserved for a close relationship.

Break contact with her, talk to other girls, and it'll get easier to move on.

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philsov
04/23/24 2:30:58 PM
#14:


returning or trashing the gift feels like wasted effort. If the gift is a little basic, just hold onto it for the next one. If it's a little personalized, I say give it to her with 0 expectations and as quickly as possible. Like, "pretend you're an UberEats driver" style hand off.

Or, just get it shipped for like $5. It's a bit of kindness and everyone can use that on their birthday.

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Itachi157
04/23/24 2:34:13 PM
#15:


philsov posted...
returning or trashing the gift feels like wasted effort. If the gift is a little basic, just hold onto it for the next one. If it's a little personalized, I say give it to her with 0 expectations and as quickly as possible. Like, "pretend you're an UberEats driver" style hand off.

Or, just get it shipped for like $5. It's a bit of kindness and everyone can use that on their birthday.

Yeah, I definitely dont agree. If its too personalized to give to someone else (like your mom or sister or something) then just bite the bullet and trash it. Theres no non-weird way to give it to her at this point.
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ArkhamOrigins
04/23/24 2:36:47 PM
#16:


philsov posted...
returning or trashing the gift feels like wasted effort. If the gift is a little basic, just hold onto it for the next one. If it's a little personalized, I say give it to her with 0 expectations and as quickly as possible. Like, "pretend you're an UberEats driver" style hand off.

Or, just get it shipped for like $5. It's a bit of kindness and everyone can use that on their birthday.

Lol found the worst advice in this topic.

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Kazuma_Yagami
04/23/24 2:38:20 PM
#17:


Itachi157 posted...
Yeah, I definitely dont agree. If its too personalized to give to someone else (like your mom or sister or something) then just bite the bullet and trash it. Theres no non-weird way to give it to her at this point.


Its definitely personalized to her. Im gonna message her and if the conversation leads to it then i could give it to her. if not oh well its something i could use myself.

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GuerrillaSoldier
04/23/24 2:39:15 PM
#18:


Kazuma_Yagami posted...
im telling her happy birthday and going from there. i dont have any expectations.
yes you do. it's her that has no expectations. she doesn't expect a happy birthday from you. so why are you doing it? because you expect something to happen, like, "even just rekindling a friendship just because i need to talk to her"

yeah i agree with not doing it at all. don't bother, she doesn't seem to have bothered either. and she literally told you she's still thinking about her ex.


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spriga
04/23/24 2:39:28 PM
#19:


Do not talk to her.
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Itachi157
04/23/24 2:42:39 PM
#20:


Kazuma_Yagami posted...
Its definitely personalized to her. Im gonna message her and if the conversation leads to it then i could give it to her. if not oh well its something i could use myself.

Throw it out or use it yourself. And like others said dont try talking to her. If she reaches out completely on her own, maybe reevaluate from there for a possible friendship but I would have zero expectations of her doing that. Just dont think about it.
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#21
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philsov
04/23/24 2:44:00 PM
#22:


Kazuma_Yagami posted...
Its definitely personalized to her. Im gonna message her and if the conversation leads to it then i could give it to her.


Wagging a gift in front of her for an attempt at engagement is bad form. Don't do that.

If you can use the gift yourself already -- do that.

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Tmaster148
04/23/24 2:47:59 PM
#23:


What gift did you get that is personalized to this person that you can't regift to someone else?

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Makeveli_lives
04/23/24 2:52:16 PM
#24:


Kazuma_Yagami posted...
Its definitely personalized to her. Im gonna message her and if the conversation leads to it then i could give it to her. if not oh well its something i could use myself.
Dont fucking do that. How is it personalized? Got her name on it or something?

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Kazuma_Yagami
04/23/24 2:54:45 PM
#25:


its not too personalized its just relevant to conversations weve had.


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Tmaster148
04/23/24 2:55:55 PM
#26:


Kazuma_Yagami posted...
its not too personalized its just relevant to conversations weve had.

You'll need to be a bit more specific, because if it's just something where she said she liked some show and you purchased a gift related to that show, there's no way you couldn't gift it to someone else.

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ArkhamOrigins
04/23/24 3:01:27 PM
#27:


Yeah what's this gift

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TheGoldenEel
04/23/24 3:01:46 PM
#28:


Tmaster148 posted...
What gift did you get that is personalized to this person that you can't regift to someone else?
that you've been on 3 dates with?

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DrizztLink
04/23/24 3:02:17 PM
#29:


Aren't you the guy who went off on gamepimp for like 250 posts over this sort of thing?

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Kazuma_Yagami
04/23/24 3:03:04 PM
#30:


im not planning on giving the gift anyway. its jover yall

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ArkhamOrigins
04/23/24 3:06:34 PM
#31:


Oh you're that account. Now it makes sense

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Tmaster148
04/23/24 3:06:52 PM
#32:


With how much you are avoiding saying what the gift is, I can't help but think the gift was too much for someone you were barely dating.

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Crimsoness
04/23/24 3:07:22 PM
#33:


Did you get her a fox tail buttplug?

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DDP886
04/23/24 3:08:46 PM
#34:


Friend zone = see ya and ur number goes onto the block list immediately.
As I've gotten into and later in my 30's, unless we are sleeping together or in a relationship (which we are not), I've cut most females out of my life (no time). Males have also gotten that treatment but not to the same extent

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gamepimp12
04/23/24 3:11:26 PM
#35:


archizzy posted...
Hell of a statement considering its coming from you of all people.

My problem isnt I cant take a hint

My problem I gave my ex the benefit of doubt in situations I shouldnt have.

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rexcrk
04/23/24 3:11:54 PM
#36:


Kazuma_Yagami posted...
Met this girl on a dating app a month ago.
Had 3 good dates. At the end of the 3rd date we were at her place. I gave her a hug goodbye. She texts me later that night and says she wanted to kiss me but also take things slow.

Next morning I text her looking to setup plans. She says that she has enjoyed her time and that I am an awesome person but she doesnt know if we are compatible and also she said it wouldnt be fair to me to go out with me because she still isnt over an ex. Oh well.



God I fucking haaaaaaaaaate when girls do this shit. Stop playing with our hearts Shits honestly mentally fucked me up so bad


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DrizztLink
04/23/24 3:11:58 PM
#37:


gamepimp12 posted...
My problem isnt I cant take a hint

My problem I gave my ex the benefit of doubt in situations I shouldnt have.
Your problem is you need to stop fucking talking to her.

That is literally the only step.

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DDP886
04/23/24 3:12:12 PM
#38:


Kazuma_Yagami posted...
Met this girl on a dating app a month ago.
Had 3 good dates. At the end of the 3rd date we were at her place. I gave her a hug goodbye. She texts me later that night and says she wanted to kiss me but also take things slow.

Next morning I text her looking to setup plans. She says that she has enjoyed her time and that I am an awesome person but she doesnt know if we are compatible and also she said it wouldnt be fair to me to go out with me because she still isnt over an ex. Oh well.

She said she still wanted to be friends but ever since then we havent talked (about 3 weeks ago)

Her birthday is in two weeks and i got her a present while we were dating but obviously we are not now. Should I reach out on her birthday and give it to her?
Also move on already

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ArkhamOrigins
04/23/24 3:14:03 PM
#39:


gamepimp12 posted...
My problem isnt I cant take a hint

One BILLION PERCENT CORRECT

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gamepimp12
04/23/24 3:14:09 PM
#40:


DrizztLink posted...
Your problem is you need to stop fucking talking to her.

That is literally the only step.


thanks stranger who knows my life very well !

you reallllly opened my eyes.

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Damn_Underscore
04/23/24 3:15:19 PM
#41:


Kazuma_Yagami posted...
:(

Im doing it anyway idc

CEman gonna CEman smh

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superben
04/23/24 3:15:35 PM
#42:


She's getting sma
this topic will get deleted due to horny posting

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DrizztLink
04/23/24 3:34:45 PM
#43:


gamepimp12 posted...
thanks stranger who knows my life very well !

you reallllly opened my eyes.
Fine, waste another couple of years, keep wallowing in your shit.

It's not my problem.

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