Current Events > My dad missed every milestone of my life, forgotten every bday too

(+) Yeah! (+)

But gets angry when I tell him he was never there and is a shit parent.

Has forgotten all of my birthdays.

teaching me to drive, how to shave, just anything in general? He was too busy drinking with friends instead.

He missed my graduations and mum had to go to them by herself because he was too busy getting drunk.

But yeah whenever I tell him he is a shit father; he gets angry, claims he did nothing wrong and Im just a shit son etc.

Still doesnt know my middle name either

Sounds like my dad. He moved across the country when I was 10 and later told people he was disappointed my brother and I didn't stay in touch. Never contacted us during birthdays or holidays. We didn't hear from him for years. Some people just shouldn't be a parent.

Show him a screenshot of me saying he's a shit dad.

Why do so many fathers forget birthdays?

Why even bring it up? Has having this discussion ever helped or made you happier?

Vicious_Dios posted...

"Uhhh... Okay? Here's your change."

You really go out of your way to be rude without provocation don't you?

and he'll never not be a shit parent. move on

RetuenOfDevsman posted...

Why even bring it up? Has having this discussion ever helped or made you happier?

I think it's important at some point to tell lackluster parents how their treatment affected you. Narcissists aren't likely to allow it into their heads, but at least you did yourself the service of trying.

I was finally going to have that talk with my 98% absent birth father several years ago, but before I had the chance I found out he had terminal lung cancer. At that point, what would it have been worth to lay that on him when he was on his way out?

Unsuprised_Pika posted...

You really go out of your way to be rude without provocation don't you?

Yeah, he acted like somone just laid info out to him, but he entered the topic. So, it's like asking for the info, then acting all weird when they give it to you.

Cut him off. I didn't talk to anyone in my family for around 5 years.

That sucks, I know. My mother has abandoned the family after she was roasted by my grandfather for being gay and she left me with him.

My dad called me for my birthday as he does every year and we have a good relationship. He has acknowledged my gender dysphoria despite the fact I blamed him for my genes since the father determines the sex of a child.

He's kind of a geek when it comes to fitness and is a member of a Mason-like organization that believes in an Architect. I really like my dad and me and my brother will be visiting him soon.

Damn breh, all my parents left me was empty bottle of booze and broken guitar.

bigbadharry posted...

Damn breh, all my parents left me was empty bottle of booze and broken guitar.

Do you blame them cuz they ran and hid?

Unsuprised_Pika posted...

You really go out of your way to be rude without provocation don't you?

Probably a shit parent himself. Sorry TC, my dad wasnt the best in that aspect as well. It'll be hard for me to forget my son's since we share the same date.

I know your pain, TC. I had a shit dad, too, though for different reasons.

I honestly wish my dad had been a deadbeat. I'd rather have not known him than know the one I had.

"I don't know whose son you are, but you're no son of mine! They made a mistake at the hospital; you're not my son!"
^
That was his favorite thing to say to me.

He didn't like having a certain word for a son (I'm autistic), so he really wanted the psychiatrist I went to back in elementary school to "fix" me so he could have a normal son. The psychiatrist flat told him "Your son is fine, there's nothing to fix", and he was so disappointed. No parent should ever say something like that about their own child.

When my older sister was still a child, he threatened to take her away and never let my mom see her again if she ever tried to divorce him.

He was a hoarder, like the folks from that show on cable; my mom, aunt, and grandmother cleaned out the house once when my sis was starting to take her first steps, and he blew up on them for it.

He'd threaten to take out a second mortgage on the house if we pissed him off.

Ruined his and my mom's credit by falling for all those "Get rich by sitting at home doing nothing!" letters we'd get in the mail. He hated working, always acting like the world owed him a living. He would've instantly left us if he'd ever won the lottery.

Got pissed at me once for "sitting like a black person", so add racism to the list. Funny, he liked to boast that he had been good friends with Little Richard at one time. I guess that's why they stopped being friends, if they even even know each other to begin with.

He loved to say my sister was his favorite out of the two of us, which rightfully pissed off everyone; my sis especially would blow up on him for it, and he even called her a fat lesbian for it once, so add homophobia to the list.

Pointed his fucking gun at me. Twice. The first time was intimidation masked as a "joke", the second time was after I did something to piss him off; the only reasons he didn't fully cross that line was because my sis stood in front of his gun and told him that he'd have to shoot her, too, and my mom pulled her own gun on him.

Thank fuck he died of cancer back in the summer of '09. It was rough until I graduated high school in 2012, but we wound up being better off without him.

Also, to the mods:

Describing autism in any non-clinical manner is usually a bad idea. Make sure you are not using it as an insult in any way.

I got that pop-up when I tried to post this. I wanna make it clear that I DO NOT support describing autism in a non-clinical manner. I'm just saying what he used to say to me. Don't mod me, please.