Current Events > What's the deal with ghosting?

(+) Yeah! (+)

You're asking this now? 2 decades after it started being a thing?

Also, why is everyone acting like this is something exclusive to dating/dating sites?

i suggest exorcists

rexcrk posted...

Getting ghosted (and also straight up lied to about why Im being rejected or dumped) so much has honestly fucked me up in the head a bit. And, like, I get it, because some people are psychotic and dont know how to deal with rejection but I just wish that it hadnt happened so frequently to me.

A simple we want different things or youre not who I thought you were or something wouldve been so much better than I just dont want a relationship right now, tee hee and then they start dating someone a week later.

I can relate a lot to your second paragraph. I got "let's stay friends, I think you're a great person" once, I agreeed, and they ghosted my "hey, how have you been?" message a few weeks later. I possibly could have double messaged there but held back

I remember telling that story to the girl I spent yesterday ranting about here, and she simply said "oh yeah you're meant to say you'll stay friends and never talk teehee"

In my brain, I'm trying to think "Okay wait what, so lying is literally the socially acceptable thing now" but before I could even formulate a thought and response properly she was onto some other dating topic and giving the real brass tacks opinion on that too.

Its just ruined all this dating discussion for me. I don't even want to try anymore because of this person. I used to enjoy on some level the fact I was getting better at it, slowly but surely, and then yeah.

Okay, well maybe some of this confusion and pain is down to me being ND as well and also my inexperience

But like, I wouldn't personally say that to someone I met from a dating app unless I meant it. Especially because we were intimate and stuff

Edit - actually, I know exactly why. 3-4 girls before these ones, a girl I actually rejected myself(a rare event but it does happen, she was too religious) rolled her eyes and basically said hell no when I naively asked if she wanted to stay friends

So it's like fuck. Ghosting really is the easiest option at this point

haloiscoolisbak posted...

Its just ruined all this dating discussion for me. I don't even want to try anymore because of this person. I used to enjoy on some level the fact I was getting better at it, slowly but surely, and then yeah.

See this is what I don't get. It just doesn't seem nearly as bad as what a lot of people have gone through. Just seems really weird, which I feel is easy to brush off as 100% the other person

I am ND as well

haloiscoolisbak posted...

But like, I wouldn't personally say that to someone I met from a dating app unless I meant it. Especially because we were intimate and stuff

Edit - actually, I know exactly why. 3-4 girls before these ones, a girl I actually rejected myself(a rare event but it does happen, she was too religious) rolled her eyes and basically said hell no when I naively asked if she wanted to stay friends

I actually did say something about being friends to a short term fling. Somehow we still are, and are both married now. We all hang out. Our spouses don't care that we have been together in the past.

I have had bitter breakups, nice breakups, ghosting, lingering friendships... there are no rules or social norms for this. You just have to roll with it and move on.

bsp77 posted...

See this is what I don't get. It just doesn't seem nearly as bad as what a lot of people have gone through. Just seems really weird, which I feel is easy to brush off as 100% the other person

I am ND as well

I actually did say something about being friends to a short term fling. Somehow we still are, and are both married now. We all hang out. Our spouses don't care that we have been together in the past.

I have had bitter breakups, nice breakups, ghosting, lingering friendships... there are no rules or social norms for this. You just have to roll with it and move on.

All my male friends have said similar haha (except one who is a mental health RN)

It just felt like I was a guest on the Eric Andre show. It's like I kept waiting for her to be like "actually, I know everything I'm doing is so confusing, I'll stop now" and it never happened

I've been in love before, I've had far more high stakes situations than the one with this girl, but for whatever reason her emotional turbulence just really got to me