Current Events > How are you going to react when your mom and/or dad dies?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I dont think Ill be able to be strong for my brothers and sister.

I genuinely wouldn't care if my dad died. For all I know, he's probably already dead somewhere.

What about the reverse? Anyhow *Sigh*

Kamil posted...

What about the reverse? Anyhow *Sigh*

Whats the reverse? Your parents losing you?

^ No one knows when it's time.

Kamil posted...

^ No one knows when it's time.

For sure. I imagine a parent burying their child is traumatic.

Meh, they are both shitty people.

Lonestar2000 posted...

Meh, they are both shitty people.

Im sorry.

Ive already lost both. Not well.

SMAP- posted...

Ive already lost both. Not well.

I cant pretend to know how that feels, but Ill find out eventually.

I imagine Ill be a wreck for weeks.

Lost my Dad in December... It fucked me up and I still have times where I just break down because of it...

So not well...

I have nothing against my mom but she left when I was 3 and we mildly connected a couple times in my life at 15 and 19 and then in my upper 20s shes been back in my state/area but we barely ever talk or see each other. Ill honestly have very little reaction to it because I have no emotional connection to her. Like I know shes my mom but it doesnt mean anything to me.

I give her credit for knowing she was too young and she would have screwed up my life with her instability and partying so she did the best thing she could do and that was abandon me and let my dad get full custody. Guys didnt get full custody in the 70s. She was 14 when she got pregnant with me and even besides the age itself she is irresponsible and immature. Even now to a degree.

So when it happens I wont think anything about it.

However when my dad is gone itll impact me a lot. Even though Ive been gone from home for like 31 years now and I literally never call him and we barely see each other even though we live pretty close its hard to explain. We get along great, and I know what he sacrificed raising me. He was amazing. I never went without food or clothes. He busted his ass to provide for me. I have love and respect for him.

But we dont have this like hugging loving relationship. Very introverted, when we talk its just about sports and movies and Ill go months and months and never contact him but he will eventually call me. We talk a bit more now because he just retired this spring so hes off all the time now. I think he gets bored so he thinks of reasons to call me. I dont mind. I realize someday Ill miss that.

im just so introverted and prefer solitude I never reach out. I should but I dont. Anyway even though we dont talk much I always know hes there. Hes the only person in the entire family that always calls me on my birthday. Once hes gone itll be like I dont exist.

I consider myself lucky my family was so young because I spent most of my life with them around. Im 48 and still have not only my parents but grandpas on both sides. Hell I had my great grandma until I was damn near 40. The advantage of having such a young family.

But yeah losing my dad will crush me. Hes been great my whole life and the only person I consistently talk to in the family. Thatll suck but hopefully its not something I have to deal with for awhile. Hes 67 now so Id love it if he made it another 20+. His dad is still going at 86 and most of my grandparents and great grandparents all made to at least 85 and a few into their 90s. So who knows. Maybe he will outlive me. Its possible.

random_man9119 posted...

Lost my Dad in December... It fucked me up and I still have times where I just break down because of it...

So not well...

Fuck. Im sorry. Ive been prepping a eulogy for when my mom passes, because Im the writer of the family. I probably wont be able to get through it.

I lost my dad awhile ago, it was very sudden. I wish it wasn't so sudden. My older brother basically took over the dad role. He was changing before then and I get he had a lot of responsibility but complications. He always felt more like an authoritative figure than a brother back when I was in Higschool School. We seemed to get along really well when I was still in Middle School. I already posted too much. If you want to put together the Kamil character chart, well there you go.

archizzy posted...

I have nothing against my mom but she left when I was 3 and we mildly connected a couple times in my life at 15 and 19 and then in my upper 20s shes been back in my state/area but we barely ever talk or see each other. Ill honestly have very little reaction to it because I have no emotional connection to her. Like I know shes my mom but it doesnt mean anything to me.

I give her credit for knowing she was too young and she would have screwed up my life with her instability and partying so she did the best thing she could do and that was abandon me and let my dad get full custody. Guys didnt get full custody in the 70s. She was 14 when she got pregnant with me and even besides the age itself she is irresponsible and immature. Even now to a degree.

So when it happens I wont think anything about it.

However when my dad is gone itll impact me a lot. Even though Ive been gone from home for like 31 years now and I literally never call him and we barely see each other even though we live pretty close its hard to explain. We get along great, and I know what he sacrificed raising me. He was amazing. I never went without food or clothes. He busted his ass to provide for me. I have love and respect for him.

But we dont have this like hugging loving relationship. Very introverted, when we talk its just about sports and movies and Ill go months and months and never contact him but he will eventually call me. We talk a bit more now because he just retired this spring so hes off all the time now. I think he gets bored so he thinks of reasons to call me. I dont mind. I realize someday Ill miss that.

im just so introverted and prefer solitude I never reach out. I should but I dont. Anyway even though we dont talk much I always know hes there. Hes the only person in the entire family that always calls me on my birthday. Once hes gone itll be like I dont exist.

I consider myself lucky my family was so young because I spent most of my life with them around. Im 48 and still have not only my parents but grandpas on both sides. Hell I had my great grandma until I was damn near 40. The advantage of having such a young family.

But yeah losing my dad will crush me. Hes been great my whole life and the only person I consistently talk to in the family. Thatll suck but hopefully its not something I have to deal with for awhile. Hes 67 now so Id love it if he made it another 20+. His dad is still going at 86 and most of my grandparents and great grandparents all made to at least 85 and a few into their 90s. So who knows. Maybe he will outlive me. Its possible.

I probably should have clarified further. My biological father basically sprinted out of the hospital when I was born. Ill hopefully feel nothing when I get the news of his death.

They're both dead. Didn't know my dad, so it was more of an 'oh' moment. My mom dying was sad, it's hard to describe it as anything more. But I still think of her often, so even if words fail me, I suppose the extent of how I really feel should be evident enough, at least to me.

I think I'm going to completely lose it, thanks

I'm, unfortunately, pretty callous in regards to death these days. From like 2015 through 2022 basically everyone I knew and/or was related to passed away, save for online friends.

I expect I probably won't care much for a while and something will make it hit me like a ton of bricks just dropped on my head, honestly.

absolutebuffoon posted...

I think I'm going to completely lose it, thanks

I apologize. Im having a 31 year old crisis about how Im probably going to outlive most of my most influential people.

I can already feel the weight.

Im going to cry and be inconsolable

youve kept this thing on.. is it really your doing that you split then difference and walked away though? It is not, imo. You make a difference or split a difference thanks to the inception. There is no 0 without 1 and vice versa. I feel that most people attribute that logic to mean youre somehow in debt and I dont tend to think thats real to reality.

you havent lived my experience

& of course not,
I dont want to youre you, and I am me

KanWan posted...

Im going to cry and be inconsolable

youve kept this thing on.. is it really your doing that you split then difference and walked away though? It is not, imo. You make a difference or split a difference thanks to the inception. There is no 0 without 1 and vice versa. I feel that most people attribute that logic to mean youre somehow in debt and I dont tend to think thats real to reality.

you havent lived my experience

& of course not,
I dont want to youre you, and I am me

huh?

I'll probably laugh when my dad dies. He's a complete selfish asshole. I'll be a wreck when my mom goes though.

absolutebuffoon posted...

I think I'm going to completely lose it,

this.

the whole experience is burned into my brain. he went crazy after taking the math and went into psychosis for 3 whole days. day 4 was the finale :(.

Wow, a ton of people on CE hate their parents.
I love my mom and dad. Its coming, but I try not to think about it.

I kind of literally cant live without my mom due to health circumstances so idk what will happen to me
I do know I will be horribly depressed though, even more than I am now

Kurt_Russel posted...

Wow, a ton of people on CE hate their parents.
I love my mom and dad. Its coming, but I try not to think about it.

After growing up and realizing so many of my friends have awful parents, it made me realize how incredibly lucky I am for having such great parents. I took it for granted when I was younger for sure.

Lost my dad 12 years ago, almost lost my mum a few times over the last 15 months.

dont want to think about it to be honest

dad passed away 3 years ago and it still sucks.

Opposite feelings for each one lol.

Probably not well

Kurt_Russel posted...

Wow, a ton of people on CE hate their parents.
I love my mom and dad. Its coming, but I try not to think about it.

My dad treated me like shit because I was born with jaundice and am lighter skinned then my brother and sister. He doesn't think I'm his biological child. My brother and sister are dark skinned like he his and look a lot like him. Me on the other hand am like a milk chocolate tone and I look my mom's dad. He also doesn't like that I'm gay. He HATES me for things I cannot control. I don't hate my dad i loathe and pity him.

Complete and total opposite reactions.

2 different times my dad has almost died, and I felt nothing. Well, I did feel bad for not caring, and made me wonder if I'm an awful person... But it is what it is, I wish I could care about him. And I do to a degree, I don't actively want him to die or anything, and I'd do what I could to help him if he needed it. But I just don't believe I could care if he died.

Mom, on the other hand, would absolutely devastate me. I can't even begin to imagine life without her. It has been on my mind lately, they're both getting older, and it will happen eventually. I just can't handle to think of life after that. I honestly have no idea how I'd go on. I love her so much and want to keep her safe, but I can't protect her from life. So I'm doing what I can to spend time with her while I can.

There's a few things that concern me though. Like, if she goes before Dad does... It'd just be me and him. Or if they both happen to go, I'd have no one left at all.

They are both dead. I didnt attend either of their funerals.

LonelyStoner posted...

huh?

Drunk rant, sorry lol

My mom died 11 years ago and I still miss her and think about her all the time

Id absolutely be sad if my dad passed because hes my last living parent left

They already did.

Well I won't be happy about it, that's for sure.

Kisai posted...

They already did.

Same. Shit sucks.

I love my parents so not well at all, but I'll try to be strong for my older brother (he does not take news well of family passing at all) and the rest of my siblings.

Don't know my dad, could be dead already. Mom did I guess the best she could but I was already spending days away at 13 doing stupid shit, finally left and couch surfed at 15. Been doing my own thing since. So probably won't affect me much but you never know.

Lost my dad in March and it hit like a train. Last time I spoke to him I'd called him to tell him about passing my driving theory and being really chuffed. I really looked up to him, metaphorically and physically (he was 6"9).

Got the call he'd passed over the phone when my brother rang me. My youngest brother was with him and tried to resuscitate him when he went, so he got it worst. I broke down in a shop with my gf during the call and rushed straight there.

It kept coming in waves of sadness. My uncle (older brother of my dad) said it best "it comes in waves, you need to ride the waves of sadness as time makes them further and further apart".

Got ok just before the funeral (was a month after) and then on the day it all came back, the reality he was gone for good.

Doing ok now, the waves hit every now and again, but they're more manageable.

Dad just died a few weeks ago. He is a piece of trash that hasn't been in my life for over 30 years. So it was like the "Oh no! Anyway" meme.

When my mom goes, I'll be crushed. She raised 8 kids alone, worked 2-3 jobs, and drove me to Chicago for my leukemia treatments when I was 10 years old.

I do my best not to think of it.

I don't want those thoughts intruding on the time we have.

Become the absorber. All of my siblings have things they wish they had said or done when my dad was alive, but he ain't no more, and I was the only one of the children in the house when he died. They've all lamented to me about how hard it is, what the future coulda been, all that. So I'll take it in and digest it. Done it before, will do it again as often as needed

Sometimes the littlest things affect you the most. I distinctly remember breaking down when my mom and I got back home for the first time after my dad's death and I saw a little half-eaten bag of jelly beans by his chair that he would never get to finish.

Fuck, I'm starting to tear up now just remembering it again

I'll be wholly unaffected.

My dad, I didn't even meet him until I was 10. Now, this wasn't his fault, as my mother never told him about me. And, he tried a couple times after that for us to bond, but I think it was just too late and nothing ever really sprung from it. Hated him as a kid, understood as things got older that it really wasn't his fault. Haven't seen or spoken to him in over 20 years.

My mother was great when I was young, but got worse and worse as I got older. About 15 years ago, I left the state I had been born and raised in, and ceased all contact with my family. Spoke to my mom a few times to see if I could feel anything and forgive her after she had a stroke, but I just felt no desire to. Last spoke to her a few years ago, no idea of she is alive or not now. Especially considering she lives in florida.

My mom died more than 20 years ago when I was a teenager. I've never met my dad (though he reached out about a year ago and we've been emailing occasionally since).

For most of my life, I only lived for my mom. If she was gone, I knew I would no longer care to keep living.

I have more to live for now, but I know I will still be absolutely devastated. I don't know how extremely I'll react.

My dad's been pretty much out of the picture for a while now. He's probably not dead (I don't even know) but his death isn't going to get any particular reaction out of me.

I would be absolutely devastated to lose my mom. Shes one of the 2 people Im closest to in the world along with my SO. As for my dad, I dont have a bad relationship with him but Im not nearly as close and do feel a fair bit of negativity toward him due to his attitudes and such so I wouldnt be nearly as affected.

I had a shock death of one of my older sisters a couple years back. Too a little while to sink in, even though we weren't close.

Parents will be different. I've been "prepared" with my dad for ages. His health was pretty bad for many years, it's until recently that it's gotten a bit better. But it may not be long.

Mum, if nothing crazy happens will be here for a long while. That'll hit hard