Current Events > I think I want to stop dating around and start dating exclusively.

(+) Yeah! (+)

gamepimp12 posted...

yeah a couple wrong assumptions Here.

I think people are getting tired of you writing a bunch of long posts, which gives people a lot of insight, and then when someone responds, you claim they are wrong or making assumptions. Yet, you don't really clarify how they are wrong. How do you manage to write so much and yet not convey what you think the truth is? It sounds as if you don't understand the situation yourself or you simply don't want to admit the truth. If you aren't lying to us, then you are lying to yourself.

And if you think that I am wrong or making assumptions, then clearly explain what you think happened, without trying to protect your ego.

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I mean its already been established CE dates in a wildly different dating scene than I do primarily do to race and age.

for example CE was telling me I was moving too slowly, when we ended up breaking up cause things where moving too fast.

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I mean its not an accurate breakdown.

bsp77 posted...

I think people are getting tired of you writing a bunch of long posts, which gives people a lot of insight, and then when someone responds, you claim they are wrong or making assumptions. Yet, you don't really clarify how they are wrong. How do you manage to write so much and yet not convey what you think the truth is? It sounds as if you don't understand the situation yourself or you simply don't want to admit the truth. If you aren't lying to us, then you are lying to yourself.

And if you think that I am wrong or making assumptions, then clearly explain what you think happened, without trying to protect your ego.

I mean Ive been pretty consistent in not actually discussing intimate details in my relationship, like its things Ive literally only told you.

but like in this topic.

it somehow about her wanting to date other people or me wanting to change the status of our relationship.

it really just was dating was becoming a distraction to her short term goals.

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Nah Im actually pretty sad about it.

I just wouldnt call anyone you dated casually being in a relationship.

if thats the case Ive been in a lot more relationships.

Broke up, dumped, ended things, I really just use them without differentiating.

gamepimp12 posted...

2. She actually wasnt seeing anyone else. She had made that pretty clear whole ago.

Oh so only you were dating around. I hope she was aware of this.

Cory898 posted...

Oh so only you were dating around. I hope she was aware of this.

obviously

gamepimp12 posted...

I mean its already been established CE dates in a wildly different dating scene than I do primarily do to race and age.

Well, I am white so can't argue that specifically, but is it really that different in terms of priorities and intimacy?

Age though. You are low to mid thirties, right? So how old are these dates? Despite my age, most people I dated several years back were low to mid thirties. And remember that my wife was 28 when we started. So I don't think we have a big disconnect when it comes to age.

for example CE was telling me I was moving too slowly, when we ended up breaking up cause things where moving too fast.

Well, maybe it was too fast for this person. Irrelevant.

The problem is that if you want to find someone, you need to find someone who doesn't think that many months is moving too fast. That's ridiculous, and no it is not the norm for people 25 or older, regardless of race. Based on all your other posts, we know you are overly obsessed with status, and that likely leads you to date the wrong people. A model? C'mon. Obviously some models could be great, but you clearly are priorizing things other than a compatible personality that you can build future with.

Stop worrying about money (while also overspending), stop worrying about status, and just give (normal) women and a relationship a fair shot. Can't you tell after a couple dates if there is potentially something there?

Pretty sure you are letting fear and worry drive your relationships. Do I have enough money? Is she the right person? Yes, you have to think about these things, but when your fear leads to consistently sabotaging every chance you get (usually due to inaction), how is this helpful?

I did make a few assumptions in here, so feel free to tell me what I might have gotten wrong, but people be honest about it, most of all with yourself.

It's a sad day when the mink gets traded in for some new balances

bsp77 posted...

Well, I am white so can't argue that specifically, but is it really that different in terms of priorities and intimacy?

Age though. You are low to mid thirties, right? So how old are these dates? Despite my age, most people I dated several years back were low to mid thirties. And remember that my wife was 28 when we started. So I don't think we have a big disconnect when it comes to age.

Well, maybe it was too fast for this person. Irrelevant.

The problem is that if you want to find someone, you need to find someone who doesn't think that many months is moving too fast. That's ridiculous, and no it is not the norm for people 25 or older, regardless of race. Based on all your other posts, we know you are overly obsessed with status, and that likely leads you to date the wrong people. A model? C'mon. Obviously some models could be great, but you clearly are priorizing things other than a compatible personality that you can build future with.

Stop worrying about money (while also overspending), stop worrying about status, and just give (normal) women and a relationship a fair shot. Can't you tell after a couple dates if there is potentially something there?

Pretty sure you are letting fear and worry drive your relationships. Do I have enough money? Is she the right person? Yes, you have to think about these things, but when your fear leads to consistently sabotaging every chance you get (usually due to inaction), how is this helpful?

I did make a few assumptions in here, so feel free to tell me what I might have gotten wrong, but people be honest about it, most of all with yourself.

I mean I called her a model, slightly because it would piss people off, and partially because her main careers would probably doxx her.

Shes clearly more than that in the world , more than that as a person , and more than that to me.

And knowing someone for more than 6 months is pretty in the norm honestly where Im from.

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Perfect

i never got how someone with all this attention from various girls all the time and parties still has time to spend hours a day on here just commenting

gamepimp12 posted...

I mean I called her a model, slightly because it would piss people off, and partially because her main careers would probably doxx her.

Shes clearly more than that in the world , more than that as a person , and more than that to me.

And knowing someone for more than 6 months is pretty in the norm honestly where Im from.

Yeah, you aren't going to learn. At least not yet.

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but see this is what I mean. The reason she cut things off or wanted space or wanted to break up was a running concern in our situation. She kinda blindsided me with it today. But its not some random thing she said.

dhampire1 posted...

Perfect

i never got how someone with all this attention from various girls all the time and parties still has time to spend hours a day on here just commenting

cause I work a job that i typically can be on my phone on ?

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i mean CE has tried to dox a gf of mine in the past.

But yes I fudge details and thats something I wont change.

especially as a black woman in the fields shes in.

I mean with me and her, the expectations were one thing. We recently started going against those expectations, and reached a point where that mutal change in behavior had to be addressed.

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Yes.

it was a college girlfriend but you dont forget those things.

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That would fit with the pattern.

Also the Gladius Smackdown is literally always great.

gamepimp12 posted...

I mean its already been established CE dates in a wildly different dating scene than I do primarily do to race and age.

for example CE was telling me I was moving too slowly, when we ended up breaking up cause things where moving too fast.

Hi, yes, I was one of those people telling you that you were moving too slow. And that has nothing to do with you being Black. I'm Black too and women would absolutely drop me if I waited that long to commit.

Hell, I still haven't completely ruled that out for you because of 2 of the points you made:

gamepimp12 posted...

She actually wasnt seeing anyone else. She had made that pretty clear whole ago.

We Never actually had the conversation about getting more serious it was more of a conversation about the time we where spending becoming a distraction.

Now, I can't claim to know exactly what she was thinking, but making it a point to tell you that she wasn't seeing anyone else is usually a hint that she wants to be exclusive.

And since you never actually brought up exclusivity with her before she broke up with you, it still leads me to believe that was part of her reasoning. Something like "I'm spending way too much time with this guy that won't even commit to me." She gave you a soft rejection. She's not going to spell out exactly why she rejected you.

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do you read or just pull shit out of your ass.i literally said this happened in college. So long before you had any idea that you currently have of me.

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I mean describing her by her secondary job and not her first job isnt fudging things, you guys taking her being a model as an indicator of the type of person she is, isnt something I ever actually said.

If I said she was a black data analyst and model in the city Im in shes not too hard to track down honestly. Ive been too honest about other info my life to risk being clear about the people in my life

As far as our plans neither of us where looking to get into anything serious, we where both coming out of stuff when we met, likely wouldnt feel comfortable until some point next year between that and personal stuff we had going on.

NoxObscuras posted...

Hi, yes, I was one of those people telling you that you were moving too slow. And that has nothing to do with you being Black. I'm Black too and women would absolutely drop me if I waited that long to commit.

Hell, I still haven't completely ruled that out for you because of 2 of the points you made:

Now, I can't claim to know exactly what she was thinking, but making it a point to tell you that she wasn't seeing anyone else is usually a hint that she wants to be exclusive.

And since you never actually brought up exclusivity with her before she broke up with you, it still leads me to believe that was part of her reasoning. Something like "I'm spending way too much time with this guy that won't even commit to me." She gave you a soft rejection. She's not going to spell out exactly why she rejected you.

oh no she spelled it out. Obviously It gets in personal stuff that I dont want to talk about. But the Crux of it was, me/ our dynamic was becoming a distraction to what she wanted to do.

gamepimp12 posted...

i never said I had a money management problem.

You regularly make topics about spending hundreds of dollars on single items of clothing. You absolutely have a money management problem.

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This. And be very upfront after a couple of good dates that you are looking long term. If that scares her, move on. I think you think that would scare most women, but it doesn't.

Model dumped you?

Trumble posted...

You regularly make topics about spending hundreds of dollars on single items of clothing. You absolutely have a money management problem.

Because YOU Think I have a money management problem.

Doesnt mean IVE said I have a money management problem.

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thats the thing here 6 months isnt really long term and it goes against the way I actually like to date, I prefer to take my time getting to know them vs rushing into things.

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Dude it literally just boiled down to her feeling like us was a distraction to her goals.

you keep making it about oh she wanted to keep dating around, or oh she wasnt that into you, or oh shes young and not ready to commit.

She literally just felt herself getting distracted by the increased time we were spending, in the last month and a half or so we went from hanging out once to two times a month to hanging out 2 times a week.

It was a lot and I honestly was thinking the same thing hence this topic.

Its frustrating for me to have had a clear conversation with her, with call backs to previous conversations weve had on the same subject.

and for you to be like no you dont understand women THIS is why she ended things and this is your problem.

Shes not interested in dating around, she doesnt have a commitment problem etc etc. She just feels like were becoming a distraction.

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I was discussing a YouTube video she had posted that day and another Ceman found said video and posted it

gamepimp12 posted...

Because YOU Think I have a money management problem.

Doesnt mean IVE said I have a money management problem.

You haven't said it, but you definitely do. And no, it is not envy or jealousy or that I don't like nice things. I have money and I spend money, but you waste it on status things that don't matter.

gamepimp12 posted...

thats the thing here 6 months isnt really long term and it goes against the way I actually like to date, I prefer to take my time getting to know them vs rushing into things.

No one said 6 months is long term, but 6 months is way to too long to not have had conversations and alignment on future potential.

Deciding to focus on one person after a few dates is NOT rushing into things, and as long as you think it is, you will scare off the women who actually have long term potential.

What you are doing clearly is not working so maybe listen to others for once. Why do start all these threads about your fuck ups and then think you somehow know better than us in happy, committed relationships?

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whats the difference between

someone saying going out and spending time with you is becoming a distraction.

And that same person saying Were becoming a distraction?

bsp77 posted...

You haven't said it, but you definitely do. And no, it is not envy or jealousy or that I don't like nice things. I have money and I spend money, but you waste it on status things that don't matter.

No one said 6 months is long term, but 6 months is way to too long to not have had conversations and alignment on future potential.

Deciding to focus on one person after a few dates is NOT rushing into things, and as long as you think it is, you will scare off the women who actually have long term potential.

What you are doing clearly is not working so maybe listen to others for once. Why do start all these threads about your fuck ups and then think you somehow know better than us in happy, committed relationships?

I mean weve had multiple conversations about where this was going, a straight up conversation about it two weeks ago, and a little pulse check about it last week, and the idea was to move slowly but to progress to a relationship

so this was a bit of a surprise today honestly but like I said in the topic in general we hadnt really spoken about the recent change in pace specifically and that was the point of contention.

gamepimp12 posted...

I mean weve had multiple conversations about where this was going, a straight up conversation about it two weeks ago, and a little pulse check about it last week, and the idea was to move slowly but to progress to a relationship

so this was a bit of a surprise today honestly but like I said in the topic in general we hadnt really spoken about the recent change in pace specifically and that was the point of contention.

You are just responding about what happened vs what I am saying

Relationship topics anywhere on the internet are ridiculous because people always make wild jumps to conclusions and dig so far into what isn't said it gets to the point of fanfinction. Especially on CE where everyone tries to villainize the TC of every topic. The mental gymnastics y'all get into is insane.

SwayM posted...

Relationship topics anywhere on the internet are ridiculous because people always make wild jumps to conclusions and dig so far into what isn't said it gets to the point of fanfinction. Especially on CE where everyone tries to villainize the TC of every topic. The mental gymnastics y'all get into is insane.

Tbf TC has a consistent reputation to larp otherwise you'd be correct

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When did I say any of that ?

She was very clear what her goals where when we met and they havent changed, tbh this isnt the first time shes like pumped the breaks on things, she did so when we first met.

We also did have conversations about us long term. We talked about it pretty frequently as I just old bsp what we didnt talk about was the sudden change in pace.

What happened was WE started making more and more plans to hang out and she course corrected, which Im not really mad at Im more bothered she didnt speak on it when I saw her like 3 days ago.

VeggetaX posted...

Tbf TC has a consistent reputation to larp otherwise you'd be correct

the thing is I dont, CE just thinks Im lying because Im sarcastic as fuck and dont give them the proof they want

You with the fam? Eagles starting soon.

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Sorry I dont spell out every single detail in every single post to account for everyones assumptions.

Wolverine posted...

You with the fam? Eagles starting soon.

Yeap, I think this is our hardest game of the year.