Current Events > Wondering how long I should present as non-binary on dating apps before

(+) Yeah! (+)

Switching to he/him and taking down my anime girl cosplay photo. I hate for it to have to come to this, but Im curious how many people dont match me because Im non-binary. Maybe by March Ill switch.

Are there apps dedicated to that sort of thing? Feels like you'd be less crowded out.

But also dating apps are a pox.

Guide posted...

Are there apps dedicated to that sort of thing? Feels like you'd be less crowded out.

But also dating apps are a pox.

Tinder, bumble and hinge all let you present as non binary

Dont these apps have options from im interested in men/women/nonbinary?

maybe it has nothing to do with being non-binary.

Whats on your profile? All you mentioned were pictures.

_____Cait posted...

Dont these apps have options from im interested in men/women/nonbinary?

maybe it has nothing to do with being non-binary.

Whats on your profile? All you mentioned were pictures.

Hinge does specifically. Cant remember if bumble and tinder do.

I have my pics, job, spiritual beliefs, children plans (none), cannabis use, etc.

Jagus posted...

bumble

Definitely.

Jagus posted...

tinder

Kinda.

You're gonna have to tell them sooner or later if things get serious. Would you rather deal with them not being okay with it in the form of a messy breakup or never talking to them in the first place?

Trumble posted...

You're gonna have to tell them sooner or later if things get serious. Would you rather deal with them not being okay with it in the form of a messy breakup or never talking to them in the first place?

Thats what I thinking. But I was also thinking maybe if they give me a chance at first they'll be open to it later on? Maybe a lot of people just havent thought about non-binary people before

Jagus posted...

Thats what I thinking. But I was also thinking maybe if they give me a chance at first they'll be open to it later on? Maybe a lot of people just havent thought about non-binary people before

Its not impossible it plays out that way, but its risky. Id at least be wanting to get a feeling of their views towards NB people very early on, if I were in your position.

Risky how? Do you think theyd get angry? I was thinking to just get my foot in the door first

it's wild that you don't see anything wrong with this

viewmaster_pi posted...

it's wild that you don't see anything wrong with this

wdym, can you blame me for being curious

Jagus posted...

wdym, can you blame me for being curious

Because the people you plan on meeting think they are meeting the person in your profile. Then you plan on telling them later that it was a lie. And then. What?

We see if they ghost me or not lol

I guess the question is begged:

Do you want people to match you, and then later on down the road ditch you when they find out you're nonbinary?

Because I think that is a big pragmatic problem with this approach. As a trans woman I get the desire to stealth, but unless you're looking for meaningless hookups, it sets off anything possibly more meaningful on the wrong foot.

Jagus posted...

Risky how? Do you think theyd get angry? I was thinking to just get my foot in the door first

I mean, anger is one possible outcome. Another is simply that they decide right then and there to cut it off. Or that they're hurt about you hiding it from them. It's a very general statement; you run the risk of various negative consequences by covering it up. Yes, there's a risk with being open too - including less matches in the first place (but realistically, how many of these matches would stick around after finding out later?), and the odd hateful message from someone who just wants to attack you for it right off the bat - but I would argue (and I'm not you, nor NB, so feel free to take this as nothing more than "a point to think about and consider") that these are by far the lesser negatives compared to potentially having a relationship that's going somewhere, only for you to reveal the truth and send the whole thing crashing down (or worse, have to hide the truth for the rest of your life in order to avoid that).

Trumble posted...

I mean, anger is one possible outcome. Another is simply that they decide right then and there to cut it off. Or that they're hurt about you hiding it from them. It's a very general statement; you run the risk of various negative consequences by covering it up. Yes, there's a risk with being open too - including less matches in the first place (but realistically, how many of these matches would stick around after finding out later?), and the odd hateful message from someone who just wants to attack you for it right off the bat - but I would argue (and I'm not you, nor NB, so feel free to take this as nothing more than "a point to think about and consider") that these are by far the lesser negatives compared to potentially having a relationship that's going somewhere, only for you to reveal the truth and send the whole thing crashing down (or worse, have to hide the truth for the rest of your life in order to avoid that).

Yeah youre probably right.

Also I just wanted to say Facebook Dating is garbage. It doesnt follow my preferences at all. Keeps showing me Spanish-speakers in Mexico sighs.

No way to filter by country or language. It SAYS theres a language option but FB openly ignores it! Cmon man language is essential for communication

Just be whoever you are

I wonder if I can finish tinder. Already finished fb dating, hinge, and bumble for now

Because I want to see who gives me a chance

Thinking of paying to see who likes me on tinder lol.