Poll of the Day > Do you prefer having a significant other?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Why do you think so?

Depends entirely on the relationship

Jen0125 posted...

Depends entirely on the relationship

Definitely.

I, myself, would love to have a special someone, but she's got to add to my life, not take away from it.

In general, yes, I would prefer having a gf, but it also depends on the person. I've been single for over a decade, and it's not because of lack of trying, and while I did have a few options over those years all of them were walking red flags so I preferred to stay single in those cases.

Good relationship > single > bad relationship

Muscles posted...

Good relationship > single > bad relationship

I tend to interpret the Beatles lyric "free as a bird is the next best thing to be" as precisely that. Being with the right person is the best thing that happened to me in that regard, anything less, no thank you. Been there done that.

Yes, I dont like being alone. I think it stems from my years as a young adult with no real support network. Having a significant other is how I would seek one out.

Both have their ups and downs

Also some people enjoy having responsibilities and being committed while others don't

I do not. I don't want someone controlling my life.

I'm a happy person and I like making other people happy.

I've never been in a relationship before.

fishy071 posted...

I do not. I don't want someone controlling my life.

Thats not how relationships are supposed to work.

Being single is better for me. I like the solitary life.

I mean, *I* personally do.

Others might not.

Muscles posted...

Good relationship > single > bad relationship

This is easy to agree with, but I'd argue that it's a tautology in that "good relationship" has to be defined as a relationship that's an improvement over being single. Of course a relationship that's an improvement over being single is going to be an improvement over being single.

That said, it's still a good philosophy to keep in mind. Even if you're the sort of person that needs to be in a relationship, if that relationship is still a net negative for your life despite the strong positive you associate with simply being attached, you're going to be better off being single and dealing with that negative than tolerating a bad relationship. Conversely, being happy single doesn't mean your life can't be enriched by a good relationship, so you shouldn't totally close yourself off to the possibility.

adjl posted...

being happy single doesn't mean your life can't be enriched by a good relationship, so you shouldn't totally close yourself off to the possibility.

This is wholly anecdotal evidence, but I did not find the right woman until I stopped looking and let whatever happen.

Yes being alone ain't cool most times tbh

Vegy posted...

Yes being alone ain't cool most times tbh

To me it is. Privacy. Plus I don't like sharing.

It is insane to me that some people feel a need to always have someone else by their side. I would much rather be alone.

adjl posted...

This is easy to agree with, but I'd argue that it's a tautology in that "good relationship" has to be defined as a relationship that's an improvement over being single.

I'm sure some people don't agree with that though. Some would say single > good relationship > bad relationship and others would say good relationship > bad relationship > single, and others (most likely subconsciously) would even put a bad relationship over a good one, I know many people that dump good guys/girls and go back to shitty relationships for whatever fucked up reason.

Yes

Flappers posted...

It is insane to me that some people feel a need to always have someone else by their side. I would much rather be alone.

Physically speaking, touch feels good, Just imagine holding someones hand right now

Damn_Underscore posted...

Physically speaking, touch feels good, Just imagine holding someones hand right now

I don't like touching aother person.

This can be chalked up to my relationships being incredibly toxic but I really enjoy the single life. It is very peaceful.

Glad I tried, I learned a lot about myself. I think I am done with relationships though. I just feel no pull in that direction.

I like relationships. Ive spent about 1 year single since I was 15 (but I still went on dates and stuff), and it was a period of my life I do not miss at all. Happily married now and hoping to be for the rest of forever.

Damn_Underscore posted...

Physically speaking, touch feels good, Just imagine holding someones hand right now

Disgusting.

If my significant other didn't improve my life I wouldn't have a significant other.

Damn_Underscore posted...

Physically speaking, touch feels good, Just imagine holding someones hand right now

Last saw her in person in 2022. Hopefully this fall.

josh posted...

If my significant other didn't improve my life I wouldn't have a significant other.

I feel almost the opposite; if I couldn't improve someone else's life I wouldn't have a significant other.

It has a lot of benefits and few cons. You have someone to help you. When I was stuck in the hospital for a week my spouse was able to run errands, take care of my animals, and do lots of little things people take for granted, like charging my phone.

There are also tremendous financial benefits to being married, especially if one of you is unemployed. Tax brackets double when married filing jointly, so if the two of you make $60,000 a year total, you're taxed at the same rate as a single person making $30,000. Many other expenses remain the same or are only slightly higher when there are two of you, like housing costs, utilities, etc. Insurance costs are usually lower for married couples because of accident and death statistics.

Statistics show that being married adds about 2 years to your life expectancy. Cohabitation without being married will also increase your life span, though not as well as marriage. Even being divorced or widowed is better for your health than remaining single your whole life. Men benefit the most from marriage or cohabitation.

Sashanan posted...

This is wholly anecdotal evidence, but I did not find the right woman until I stopped looking and let whatever happen.

It's generally just a good idea to not pursue a relationship unless you're content to not find one. That means that when you do find one, it's a relationship that improves your life and not just settling for something that isn't bad enough to offset the intrinsic value you assign to simply being in a relationship.

Muscles posted...

I'm sure some people don't agree with that though. Some would say single > good relationship > bad relationship and others would say good relationship > bad relationship > single, and others (most likely subconsciously) would even put a bad relationship over a good one, I know many people that dump good guys/girls and go back to shitty relationships for whatever fucked up reason.

That's mostly a matter of how they're defining "good relationship." If they'd rather be single over being in any relationship, that means no relationship is good enough for them. If they'd rather be in what an outside observer would call a bad relationship, that means they consider that relationship to be better than alternatives for whatever reason (an assessment that often gets heavily distorted by abuse, which is why it can be so hard to get somebody to leave an abusive relationship).

captpackrat posted...

Men benefit the most from marriage or cohabitation.

Aside from the obvious societal pressure for women to support their husbands domestically and the benefits men get from that, studies have found men benefit more from the emotional side of things as well:
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-actually-crave-romantic-relationships-more-than-women-do/ (there's a link to the actual study in there)

In a nutshell, men rely more on romantic relationships for emotional fulfillment, most likely because forming emotional connections in other contexts is seen as "feminine" and therefore discouraged for guys. I'd hypothesize that this is also why the "friendzone" can be such a contentious topic: Because men generally reserve the kind of emotional connections women have with friends for romantic relationships, it's easy for them to confuse a level of connection a woman would consider normal for a friendship with romantic interest, and they struggle to reconcile that when it turns out she just wants to be a friend because they don't have a framework for being emotionally close with friends. It's often framed as being "mixed signals," but the issue is more that men and women are primed to interpret the same signals differently.

So, you know, hug your bros. You'll all feel better for it.

Single is all I know since 10.....

adjl posted...

Aside from the obvious societal pressure for women to support their husbands domestically and the benefits men get from that, studies have found men benefit more from the emotional side of things as well:
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-actually-crave-romantic-relationships-more-than-women-do/ (there's a link to the actual study in there)

In a nutshell, men rely more on romantic relationships for emotional fulfillment, most likely because forming emotional connections in other contexts is seen as "feminine" and therefore discouraged for guys. I'd hypothesize that this is also why the "friendzone" can be such a contentious topic: Because men generally reserve the kind of emotional connections women have with friends for romantic relationships, it's easy for them to confuse a level of connection a woman would consider normal for a friendship with romantic interest, and they struggle to reconcile that when it turns out she just wants to be a friend because they don't have a framework for being emotionally close with friends. It's often framed as being "mixed signals," but the issue is more that men and women are primed to interpret the same signals differently.

So, you know, hug your bros. You'll all feel better for it.

Facts.

Lokarin posted...

I feel almost the opposite; if I couldn't improve someone else's life I wouldn't have a significant other.

ain't gonna argue with that, for me a good partnership is an improvement on my own life.

It's what I want more than anything. Life is not fun alone.

But...

Jen0125 posted...

Depends entirely on the relationship

I've never had one, but would prefer being in a relationship to being single.