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HylianFox 04/14/25 3:52:56 PM #1: |
https://theonion.com/salvadoran-president-claims-he-lacks-humanity-to-return-wrongly-deported-man/ WASHINGTONDuring a visit with President Donald Trump at the White House, El Salvadors president Nayib Bukele claimed Monday that he lacks the humanity to return wrongly deported legal U.S. resident Kilmar Abrego Garcia back to America. How can I return an innocent man to the United States when I dont have the ability to feel empathy or compassion? said Bukele, explaining that hes consulted with his top advisors about the 29-year-old Maryland father being held in a Salvadoran prison, but none of them could find it in their hearts to care at all about the mans situation. Do you hear how ridiculous it sounds to expect that I could see myself reflected in another human beings experience? Even if I wanted to, theres no way I could acknowledge the plight of someone who is suffering because I am completely numb to the pain of others. My hands are tied because Im totally dead inside. At press time, President Trump had publicly thanked Bukele for his use of cruelty to project a facade of strength. Again, how the fuck is this any different from an actual news article? It's not even close to an exaggeration. --- THIS SPACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK Do not write in this space. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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ItsNotA2Mer 04/14/25 3:54:00 PM #2: |
This timeline fucking blows. --- It's not the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry you off in. (He/Him). ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Solar_Crimson 04/14/25 3:54:46 PM #4: |
I almost thought it was real for a sec. --- "Be good to yourself, because everyone else in the world is probably out to get you." - Dr. Harleen Quinzel ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Doe 04/14/25 3:56:44 PM #6: |
Yeah I scrolled back up reading through the first paragraph once I got to "consulting with his advisors". --- https://imgur.com/gallery/dXDmJHw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75GL-BYZFfY ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Umbreon 04/14/25 3:59:42 PM #7: |
The fact that this is barely parody is horrifying. --- Black Lives Matter. ~DYL~ (On mobile) ... Copied to Clipboard!
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buddhamonster 04/14/25 4:25:00 PM #8: |
Solar_Crimson posted... I almost thought it was real for a sec.Good satire is often indistinguishable from reality. The scathing truth boiling just under the surface of the silliness is why the joke is able to land so hard. --- Hey Trashcan Man! What did old lady Semple say when you burned her pension check? Boston Bruins - 2011 Stanley Cup Champs! ... Copied to Clipboard!
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The_Wheelman1 04/14/25 4:29:54 PM #9: |
No lies detected. He certainly lacks humanity. --- XBox Live GT: MastaMez PSN: KoolMez The Topic Killer \_0_/ ... Copied to Clipboard!
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SgtBash 04/14/25 4:32:36 PM #10: |
This is the same leader whose country uses Bitcoin as a legal currency --- Come to Relax https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/boards/1558-relaxation-island ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Tyranthraxus 04/14/25 4:32:47 PM #11: |
Solar_Crimson posted... I almost thought it was real for a sec.It is real, only the article is fake --- It says right here in Matthew 16:4 "Jesus doth not need a giant Mecha." https://i.imgur.com/dQgC4kv.jpg ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Agent_Stroud 04/14/25 4:34:26 PM #12: |
I used to think the Onion was overrated as a satirical newspaper, but these days theyve been hitting the mark so perfectly that I would suspect them of using the infinite dead eye cheat in Red Dead Redemption. --- "We're going to shake things up, Morgan. Like old times." -- Alex Yu, Prey (2017) ... Copied to Clipboard!
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