Current Events > My evil ex gets married next week.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Found out through mutuals. We haven't had contact since an exchange of stuff left at each other's houses, and them giving me back the $500 they borrowed.

And how do you feel about that?

Well good for them (I assume)

Rotterdammerung posted...

and them giving me back the $500 they borrowed

And good for you too

Good for her I guess?

Idk you shouldn't really care what is going on in her life.

BlazinBlue88 posted...

Good for her I guess?

Idk you shouldn't really care what is going on in her life.

Agree

And one of my exes just got married a couple months ago. It made me happy for her.

Like how evil?

Not your problem anymore. If they were toxic to you then it's best to not think about them.

bsp77 posted...

And how do you feel about that?

Like a car crash I can see but I just can't avoid.

There's a reason she's an ex.

I broke up with her after a little bit over a year of escalating and increasingly fucked up psychological abuse, while I was also dealing with the terminal illness and subsequent death of a parent. I'd tried to end the relationship a few times, but each time she'd threatened self-harm or worse. I actually cared about her, so backed down. Most of those times, she actually would self-harm, which she'd show me and tell me that it was because of what I'd done. I won't go into details unless you actually want, but there was a vexillographer's delight of red flags I didn't realise until too late.

It finally ended with a pretend pregnancy and subsequent "miscarriage" one of my female friends called bullshit on. I asked a few questions the friend had suggested, she admitted it was bullshit so I finally noped the hell out of Dodge. At that stage, we were at a "FWB" stage, and the "pregnancy" and "miscarriage" happened swiftly after I tried to reign in the B part.

She then told all her friends (including the mutual, who thankfully didn't believe it) that I was physically and emotionally abusive.

When it comes down to it, at that point in our lives I think her lack of self-worth meant that my concern for my parent was perceived as a lack of concern or feeling for her, that it was a competition for affection and attention that had to be won. "Evil ex" was probably too flippant, and an easy Scott Pilgrim reference.

I will always deeply resent that she tried her absolute hardest (and often succeeded) to take my attention away from what should have mattered at the time, but I hope she's found peace, and is able to have a healthy, productive relationship.

All that said, if I hadn't gone through all that, I wouldn't be who I am now, nor would I have the expectations for relationships I have now. I wouldn't have been single at the same time my now-wife was single, and we wouldn't have the relationship we have now, or two amazing, brilliant and absolutely fucking weird kids.

She tried to message me over FB a few years ago, but I left her on read.

Wow, sounds awful.

But yeah, these things are learning experiences and make you who you are.

Does that mean that your future GFs won't need to fight her before they can date you from now on?