Current Events > I'm stressed I'm not going to have a good time tonight

(+) Yeah! (+)

I'm finally getting to see Bloc Party live tonight. Thing is, my mental health has spiraled very badly for months now, and it hit the apex during a super fun manager meeting on Wednesday

Everything has felt like a personal, intentional, slight against me.

I'm going with my roommate (ex) who has found reasons to be crabby and just generally shitty at all but one of the 25ish concerts we have gone to together.

To be clear, she is one of those people that are just super negative and if for some reason isn't have a great time wants to bring people down, not try to bring herself up.

That being said, I really do think I'm projecting my very poor mental state onto her. And that she isn't being out of pocket, or setting up reasons to be pissy.

/rant

I have waited far too long to go to this concert - It's the 20th Anniversary of their freshman Album, Silent Alarm, and I've been a fan all 20 years. I am determined to have a good time.

I own one belt. I decided to switch to shorts. My belt broke. Completely.

I haven't really been eating and have lost 16 pounds over the last few months

My roommate is letting me wear hers... It sorta kinda works.

If you convince yourself that youre going to have a bad time, then theres basically a guarantee that it wont be fun. It might be great

I'm not even a fan of Bloc Party, but I have seen them and they are really good live.

You'll have a great time.

Oh, so I had an absolutely wonderful time. In fact, I created what is I'm sure to be, one of my favorite memories of all time;

Anytime I go to a concert I wear Action/Adventure merch. They're a local Chicago band that I absolutely love, and have seen a dozen or so times

All of a sudden a dude comes up to me all excited 'Heeeey! Good to see you, dude!'

It was the Bassist for Action/Adventure.

I know it sounds silly, and it's just really hard to convey... But that made me so unbelievably happy

Oh yea, my roommate and I got three super dope shirts. I'll post them later

Glad you had a great time. That's pretty cool you ran into the bassist like that!

Bass posted...

Glad you had a great time. That's pretty cool you ran into the bassist like that!

Thanks, dude! Name checks out

For context, lmao I love smaller concerts and bands because I go out of my way to meet them. So him coming up to me wasn't just a 'that's my band!' we have had conversations and he recognized me

FolkenRawr posted...

I'm going with my roommate (ex) who has found reasons to be crabby and just generally s***ty at all but one of the 25ish concerts we have gone to together.

To be clear, she is one of those people that are just super negative and if for some reason isn't have a great time wants to bring people down, not try to bring herself up.

I have to ask why you continue to go to fun events, especially concerts, with this person? They don't sound like a very good friend if they insist on make everyone around them as unhappy as they are. "If I'm not having fun, nobody else will either" is an incredibly selfish attitude, evennif it's unintentional. And you say that they have been this way at nearly every concert you have gone to with them. I am genuinely confused here. Is it a friends with benefits situation and you're afraid of losing that easy hookup?

Edit: Glad you had a blast despite having a Debbie Downer along for the event!

TentacleDemon posted...

I have to ask why you continue to go to fun events, especially concerts, with this person? They don't sound like a very good friend if they insist on make everyone around them as unhappy as they are. "If I'm not having fun, nobody else will either" is an incredibly selfish attitude, evennif it's unintentional. And you say that they have been this way at nearly every concert you have gone to with them. I am genuinely confused here. Is it a friends with benefits situation and you're afraid of losing that easy hookup?

Edit: Glad you had a blast despite having a Debbie Downer along for the event!

Very reasonable question. We broke up over a year ago. We have no hooked up at all, and there's nothing there.

It's...hard to put in words. A lot of it IS my poor mental health and instability. I am very much a people person. She is not. We genuinely enjoy the same music - she's actually introduced me to a lot of my favorites. That being said... If I go without her, or say I go hang out with my friends without her - all of a sudden there's some insurmountable (bullshit) problem and I'm made miserable

It's a fucked up situation and cycle. I could theoretically afford to move out and live on my own... But I hated living alone. Not to mention I am an addict and have terrible impulse control

And thank you, by the way! She really was mostly a good time!

Sounds like a very toxic codependent situationship.

I am glad you had a good time. I have bad anxiety from working at a prison for 10+ years, and growing up in a ln abusive home half the time when I was with my mother, and having been in an abusive relationship with my ex-wife so I completely understand your anxiety. Sometimes I dont even make it out the door to events that I know I would love, I missed Pride last year, and will probably miss it again this year.

It does sound like you need to get away from your ex, unless there is a friendship there and youre making her sound worst than she is.