Poll of the Day > 2 million dollars or be trapped in an elevator with a polar bear?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Which would you rather have?

Polar bears can be chill

Fun Fact: Polar bears are one of the few animals known to actually hunt and kill humans.

They are also between 300-600lbs and the males can weigh 900+ lbs. That elevator would be like 90% polar bear and 10% you. It would probably kill you on accident.

This is like asking if you would rather get $100 or have a head-on collision with a semitruck.

Depending on the elevator one male polar bear would be over the weight limit.

2 million dollars.

Flappers posted...

This is like asking if you would rather get $100 or have a head-on collision with a semitruck.

I feel like there's a chance the polar bear doesn't eat you... No, I can't even joke about it, I legitimately hope those monsters go extinct. A polar bear is an animal where I feel like I actually have a 0% chance of survival. It's determined to eat me with zero emotion. There's no animal that freaks me out more.

Maybe if you huddle up and act cute you'll trigger it's parental instincts and it will have mercy or something.

Is it like a polar bear polar bear, or like an older hairy guy?

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/8/85814df8.jpg

Flappers posted...

Fun Fact: Polar bears are one of the few animals known to actually hunt and kill humans.

Damn and we bending ourselves ass backwards to save these things from extinction??

Yellow posted...

I feel like there's a chance the polar bear doesn't eat you... No, I can't even joke about it, I legitimately hope those monsters go extinct. A polar bear is an animal where I feel like I actually have a 0% chance of survival. It's determined to eat me with zero emotion. There's no animal that freaks me out more.

Maybe if you huddle up and act cute you'll trigger it's parental instincts and it will have mercy or something.

You should never wish for a species to go extinct. What is wrong with you? Even more so that you probably have zero percent chance of running into a polar bear

Yellow posted...

I feel like there's a chance the polar bear doesn't eat you... No, I can't even joke about it, I legitimately hope those monsters go extinct.

What an utterly lame and selfish thing to say.

Considering the polar bear part of the "bear verse" ("if it's brown lay down, if it's black fight back") is basically, "if it's white you're fucked", you probably don't want to be stuck anywhere with a polar bear for any reason.

But yeah, the wording of the poll means 100% of the people answering should be taking the money. Even if you've got some sort of psychotic fetish for polar bears, you should still just take the money and you can buy one and an elevator for yourself.

Now, if I could trap one of my enemies in an elevator with a polar bear like a deranged Bond or Batman villain, I might be up for that. But again, it still feels like you could do that with $2 mil and still have money left over.

ParanoidObsessive posted...

Now, if I could trap one of my enemies in an elevator with a polar bear like a deranged Batman villain

"Holy ursines, Batman, it's your arch nemesis, The Bearmaster!"

Special Guest Villain: Rip Taylor as The Bearmaster

Easy. Polar Bear.

SunWuKung420 posted...

You should never wish for a species to go extinct. What is wrong with you? Even more so that you probably have zero percent chance of running into a polar bear

Flappers posted...

What an utterly lame and selfish thing to say.

But... they want to eat you...

Also they're like hard-wired sociopaths, they hate each other.

Fine, I don't seriously want them to go extinct. But I wouldn't cry.

Also, where's the justice for the seals? Seals are infinitely better than polar bears, and those awful things kill thousands. Protect the seals.

ParanoidObsessive posted...

Now, if I could trap one of my enemies in an elevator with a polar bear like a deranged Bond or Batman villain, I might be up for that. But again, it still feels like you could do that with $2 mil and still have money left over.

That honestly sounds beyond the joker. Just cut me in half dick first, please. I don't want to be eaten alive by a creepy indestructible polar bear.

Literally any other animal I would rather be killed by. I feel like even a crocodile would at least reconsider killing me or give me some kind of out. I want to be killed by an animal that is angry at me.

A polar bear would just start chomping on my leg and slowly eat me alive for a half hour without a care in the world. A cat kills its victims immediately, that's a predator I can respect.

Is being stuck in an elevator with 2 million polar bears an option?

captpackrat posted...

"Holy ursines, Batman, it's your arch nemesis, The Bearmaster!"

Special Guest Villain: Rip Taylor as The Bearmaster

Ironically, one of the nicknames we had for my father was The Beastmaster (because he was really good with animals, and actually used to breed a bunch of them for a local pet shop).

We'd also occasionally call him Ratman (because one of the things he bred for the pet shop was rats). At one point he was actually considering getting "Ratman" as a vanity license plate as a joke.

Yellow posted...

Also, where's the justice for the seals? Seals are infinitely better than polar bears, and those awful things kill thousands. Protect the seals.

https://youtu.be/s95mEchLZEA?si=fQDxcE6jmASYdQL_

Only if I can bring my walrus bull friendo into the elevator.

Yellow posted...

But... they want to eat you...

Also they're like hard-wired sociopaths, they hate each other.

Fine, I don't seriously want them to go extinct. But I wouldn't cry.

Also, where's the justice for the seals? Seals are infinitely better than polar bears, and those awful things kill thousands. Protect the seals.

I mean the chances of getting eaten by a polar bear are almost zero unless you live in like the arctic or something

..............2 million dollars. Why would I choose the polar bear? There a joke I'm missing?

Maybe it's a really sexy polar bear?

joemodda posted...

Damn and we bending ourselves ass backwards to save these things from extinction??

It's partially because their environment is being destroyed by the consequence of human actions that they are forced to travel south and are thus in the range to attack us. This is what is known as the consequences of our own actions (not you and me, but corporations, especially Shell) and if we want it to stop then we NEED to bend ourselves ass backwards to save these "things"

Yellow posted...

But... they want to eat you...

Only because their environment and the population of their prey are being catastrophically destroyed and they're starving,

Also they're like hard-wired sociopaths, they hate each other.

Animals can never be sociopaths because they do not have a moral compass like humans do. Trying to apply human psychology to animals is a fruitless endeavor. And no, not true, polar bears just have to fight each-other to survive. If you want an example of a species that kills for hatred, look in the mirror.

Fine, I don't seriously want them to go extinct. But I wouldn't cry.

Fair enough, I suppose. Just remember that devastation in the arctic will impact the environments of literally everywhere else on earth. If polar bears go extinct, you should cry for yourself and the rest of humanity.

Also, where's the justice for the seals? Seals are infinitely better than polar bears, and those awful things kill thousands. Protect the seals.

Seals have also attacked and killed people. Although they deserve justice too, just like any animal. Walruses as well! There is now so little ice for walruses to climb on top of that they are forced to share small and steep islands of land. The crowding is so severe and the terrain is so foreign to them that they are falling to their deaths en masse.

And here's a fun thing I like to throw out there. Humans are more likely to be attacked and killed by prey animals than by predators. A predator knows you are not in its food chain. Every hunt demands energy that it won't want to waste on a something it's never hunted before, unless it is starving. Meanwhile, prey animals have the instinct to believe that most creatures out there are a direct threat to it. If they can't or don't run, they will attack - especially humans who think they're disney princesses and approach them (rip to all the darwin award winners who didn't listen to the rangers at yellowstone and tried to get a selfie with a bison)

In fact, would you like to know one of the animals that has the highest likelihood of attacking or killing you?

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/5/52222315.jpg
Because cows are nervous prey animals and are kept in crowded conditions where humans make contact with them on a daily basis, the chances of them attacking are not terribly uncommon. According the CDC, the 5-year average of cow related fatalities on humans in the USA (based on a study conducted between 2003 and 2007) is 22 people a year. Compare that to mountain lions, which have only killed 7 humans in the USA over the past 25 years, according to the mountain lion foundation.

Flappers posted...

And here's a fun thing I like to throw out there. Humans are far more likely to be attacked and killed by prey animals than by predators.

is this on a per-encounter percentage chance basis or on a total chance to die statistic

because it's like the statistic saying you're most likely to get in a car crash within two miles (or whatever) of your home. well yeah of course you are because that's either four miles or 100% of every trip you'll ever take. you're not actually more in danger when near your home, you're just more often near it

it's one of the kinds of statistics that really rub me the wrong way, even when i agree with whatever conclusions they're arguing towards like being vigilant on the road at all times. using the same logic you could argue dumb things like "you have a higher chance to die while walking than while skydiving"

Flappers posted...

And here's a fun thing I like to throw out there. Humans are more likely to be attacked and killed by prey animals than by predators. A predator knows you are not in its food chain.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_attack#The_Champawat_Tiger

agesboy posted...
It's on the basis of animal attacks in general. While there isn't a study on it, you will see the difference when comparing the statistics of individual fatalities caused by different types of animals. This difference is largely because of two factors, the first being that humans live in societies away from predatorial animals, and the second being that due to agriculture humans commonly interact with prey animals. The difference between prey vs. predator attacks will differ, however, depending on where a person lives. For example, in India tigers are a more likely threat that similar predators would be in other locations, due to habitat loss and increased human-animal interaction in India (which is notoriously overpopulated by humans).

But the animals that generally kill humans even more than large prey animals are actually venemous animals! Snakes and bees in particular can take down an impressive number of people a year.

(BTW if anyone is wondering how I know this stuff, I've been volunteering with wildlife for 7 years and have had the chance to talk with wildlife rangers. I also enjoy watching nature documentaries are reading studies. Whether or not that makes me a reliable source is up to your own discretion. I just share what I've hesrd and researched.)

Revelation34 posted...

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_attack#The_Champawat_Tiger

It's been a while since someone brought this up to me! :)

Yes, tiger's are known to attack humans, even quite a bit more than other predators. What's fascinating is that they are even known to take revenge on humans who have wronged them. As are elephants and African buffalo, the latter of which are even called "the black death" or "the widowmaker" due to their number of attacks on hunters. Wise people in Africa avoid hunting these buffalo altogether. An elephant one time also killed a woman then showed up to the funeral and attacked her coffin (sorry, i'm infodumping)

Don't fuck with animals.

Flappers posted...

It's been a while since someone brought this up to me! :)

Yes, tiger's are known to attack humans, even quite a bit more than other predators. What's fascinating is that they are even known to take revenge on humans who have wronged them. As are elephants and African buffalo, the latter of which are even called "the black death" or "the widowmaker" due to their number of attacks on hunters. Wise people in Africa avoid hunting these buffalo altogether. An elephant one time also killed a woman then showed up to the funeral and attacked her coffin (sorry, i'm infodumping)

Don't fuck with animals.

Crows. Also I'm annoyed as fuck that they removed the article for what I linked.

Flappers posted...

But the animals that generally kill humans even more than large prey animals are actually venemous animals! Snakes and bees in particular can take down an impressive number of people a year.

they're animals that survive on the basis of the threat they post to whoever fucks with them so I can totally believe it. larger animals have to prioritize their own safety, bees and snakes survive based on extremely aggressive responses and larger numbers

Money.

I'm a bird. We would chill. If that bear misbehaves, I'll peck, awk.

Flappers posted...

It's been a while since someone brought this up to me! :)

Yes, tiger's are known to attack humans, even quite a bit more than other predators. What's fascinating is that they are even known to take revenge on humans who have wronged them. As are elephants and African buffalo, the latter of which are even called "the black death" or "the widowmaker" due to their number of attacks on hunters. Wise people in Africa avoid hunting these buffalo altogether. An elephant one time also killed a woman then showed up to the funeral and attacked her coffin (sorry, i'm infodumping)

Don't fuck with animals.

Hippos are far worse aswell. Hippos are territorial.

Falgos posted...

Hippos are far worse aswell. Hippos are territorial.

Oh god! How could I forget?

Falgos posted...

Hippos are far worse aswell. Hippos are territorial.

Hippos are also deceptively fast. They can reach speeds up to 19 mph (30 kph) on land. The average person can only run 10-15 mph, and even Usain Bolt can only average 23.35 mph over a 100 meter sprint.