Current Events > Having gas while in the office is a miserable experience

(+) Yeah! (+)

Let em rip, brother

I wouldn't beat myself up about it too too much, unless we're talking egg farts

Heaven forbid

I didn't have that exact issue, but I have scar tissue on my intestines that occasionally causes them twist up and get pinched on themselves. Last week at work that happened when I was there alone, it hurt so bad, and I decided to lay down in the floor until it straightened out. As soon as I managed to gently lay down, people showed up wanting a room and I had to drag myself up out of the floor and check them in.

My god it was a huge mistake to pay down. I was dripping sweat, breathing heavy, and I turned white as a ghost. Thought I was going to pass out after standing up. They were looking at me like I was an alien, but I didn't care.

I didn't get reported or anything, so that's good. I figured they'd assume I was on drugs or something.

It's going to be a miserable experience but not mine

You shouldn't hold it op, that gas can build up in your stomach.

It'll eventually fizzle out, but not without experiencing a lot of discomfort or some gas passing involuntarily

Op must be the guy in the bathroom everytime I go to take a wizz I hear someone butt blasting in the toilet.

Learn to the enjoy the fart squeeze plop.

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Make eye contact and assert dominance.

Let it out then say "Holding it in would have caused stress and would have led to less productivity."

What you do is you shit your pants one time. Then from that point on anytime you are just farting your coworkers will be relieved that you are at least not shitting yourself.

Turbam posted...

Let em rip, brother

"I'm not trapped in here with you, you're trapped in here with me!"

Yeah my stomach has been bubbling since morning, Ive been debating just going home and unleashing fury on my toilet in private

Let it rip, they may end the meeting early cause of the smell.

I just pooped rn. Only stress was no one else was using the restroom

I SBDd once in a guys office thinking I could get away with it. But then Morgan Freeman showed up to narrate

Around late spring, I start to get really bad gas that lasts until usually the end of August. I've analyzed it every which way (I'm already very meticulous about diet, hydration, sleep, etc.) and can't find any obvious reason for it.

I'm really glad I work with animals, primarily outside, because I can just freely fart and nobody can tell it's me (usually).

One day at the plant, we lost power. Its early in the morning so Im standing outside talking to 3 of the operators till we figure what we can do. Im leaning against the wall and let one out, not caring.

two the operators ran away blaming the third (cause it was normally him that did this). Those operators dont trust me anymore

Since the pandemic, we do most of our office meetings via Zoom. Even though we are all back in the office, which is kind of weird but I guess it just became a habit.

The mute button is fantastic for when there is something gas related coming on.

Just say when did this become the Oval Office?

It's not worth the spontaneous combustion.

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Thanks, and yeah I'm fine now. It generally only lasts an hour or two. That night it was bad, and lasted longer than normal. Probably because of me crawling into the floor and getting back up.

But once it stops, I'm right back to normal like nothing happened.

When I had surgery related to my Crohn's, I had excruciating pain from gas in my stomach. The doc told me to walk around to get rid of it. Not sure if this is good advice for gas in general or if it was just for that surgery in particular, but it probably couldn't hurt to try it out. It definitely worked for me.

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It will prepare them for the wild.

Also, been blasting ass all day.

Rip and tear

Westernwolf4 posted...

The mute button is fantastic for when there is something gas related coming on.

Agreed. Its so nice of them to add a button you can quickly click when a fart is coming on, in order to easily unmute your mic so everyone can hear it.

Incidentally I'm surprised there are even allowances for beans to be served to a good amount of people sounds like a fire hazard in the making.

mercurydude posted...

When I had surgery related to my Crohn's, I had excruciating pain from gas in my stomach. The doc told me to walk around to get rid of it. Not sure if this is good advice for gas in general or if it was just for that surgery in particular, but it probably couldn't hurt to try it out. It definitely worked for me.

I walk after lunch. When people say "walking is good for the digestion" what they really mean is "get ready to become a fart factory!"

Tell em there must be a barge coming through.

Yeah its a miserable experience for everyone else

My farts have been raunchy lately lmao I do feel bad for the people around me