Current Events > Schools when bullied kids fight back:

(+) Yeah! (+)

"Oh no, now you're BOTH in the wrong ;^) "

This happened to me when I first went to a public school for 2nd grade, and it profoundly changed something in me. I guess everyone has to go through a "life isn't fair" moment, but this was coming from the same people who taught about fairness and trust, not just dropping my lollipop in the sand.

cousinvini posted...

"Oh no, now you're BOTH in the wrong ;^) "

"Since you defended yourself you get 5 days out of school suspension. As for the bully, he gets 3 days of in school suspension."

I almost got excluded because I retaliated, wasn't really bullying me.

I waiting in the medical room, was getting sent home as I wasn't feeling well. Next thing this guy started punching the side of my head, told him to get off me at least 3 times but he didn't, so I snapped and lifted my foot up, his glasses fell off.

I ended up in isolation for 3 days.

Sdhools need to be more vigilant

When I was in elementary school I would bring my x-men action figures in to show my friends/play with. One day an older kid came over and started asking to play with one of them, and then asked if he could borrow it. He was older, and I was scared of him so I said yes. The next day he came up and just asked to take one. I thought he meant just to play with and so I gave it to him. He went home with it.

The next day I didn't bring any in, and when he came up to me he asked where they were. I said I didn't bring any in, and he told me I'd better bring one in the next day or else.

I told my mom about it that night and how I had to bring in another toy. She came in and talked to the principle and tried to get my toys back from this bully. The Principle told her that I needed to learn a lesson about not giving my things away. He wanted to let the bully keep them.

They're always on the bully's side.

remember a story about a kid in my middle school that got suspended because he fought back when 5 guys started kicking the crap out of him...

the trick is to take your fight somewhere the cameras and teachers cant see. locker room was a common area for fights in high school. bus stops too.

Zero tolerance rules just teach kids to go all in. If they're going to suspend you for fighting for defending yourself you might as well palm smash the bully's nose until it looks sideways.

The trick is to retaliate off school grounds and in such a way that it cant be traced back to you.

Evening_Dragon posted...

This happened to me when I first went to a public school for 2nd grade, and it profoundly changed something in me. I guess everyone has to go through a "life isn't fair" moment, but this was coming from the same people who taught about fairness and trust, not just dropping my lollipop in the sand.

Not gonna lie, I cried when it happened. I didn't cry when I was bullied, I definitely didn't cry during the fight. But when the people who I trusted to have "my best interests at heart" seemed to be against me in that moment, I teared up then at the unfairness. And I never trusted adults again.

My cousin was a bully and I was always caught retaliating.

SaikyoStyle posted...

The trick is to retaliate off school grounds and in such a way that it cant be traced back to you.

I have a different perspective.

Let it be traced back to you. But beat the shit out of the bully so badly that no one dares try to pick a fight with you again.

If you're getting in trouble regardless, you may as well make an example.

Umbreon posted...

I have a different perspective.

Let it be traced back to you. But beat the shit out of the bully so badly that no one dares try to pick a fight with you again.

If you're getting in trouble regardless, you may as well make an example.

I can confirm this.

Slammed my bullies head into a locker. He never messed with me again nor did anyone else.

Strider102 posted...

I can confirm this.

Slammed my bullies head into a locker. He never messed with me again nor did anyone else.

lol i'm glad that's a common action. wouldn't call him 'my' bully, but the one asshole kid that liked to fuck with everyone tried to jump me in the locker room in middle school and i tossed him into a locker. had three other people there pull me off him.

best thing is that he never stopped fucking with other people and eventually he got jumped at his bus stop. nobody fessed up to who did it and everyone insisted that he just tripped and fell.

I think it's because any adult who sides with the bully:

A. Sees it as a ritual that kids should put up with. And....

B. Were bullies themselves so punishing any bully is an acknowledgement they did wrong at one point.

It's not one or the other though. I'd say A and B apply to anyone who sides with a bully.

It was a bit over 20 years ago, but I had gotten suspended in high school for fighting during PE. The kid had started saying stuff to me and I had had enough and it led to a fight. I was suspended for one day, but it could have been worse as the substitute teacher that day tried to egg me on to hit him. I had enough self control to not hit him even though that sub was widely disliked from what I remember.

Reminds me of that "Weirdos" web series. Honestly I'll never be able to understand why so many teachers are unable to identify which students are being bullied. Like you've got this unattractive, overweight, socially awkward kid and they get into a confrontation with some rich attractive kid in designer clothes...why you always siding with the rich attractive kid in designer clothes when 99.999999% of the time they are the bully?

A fair number of the people I've seen stand up to bullies end up getting their head kicked in even worse, in addition to getting into shit for it. A lot of bullies are just waiting for the 'this time they started it' excuse.

Unfortunately, being the victim doesn't make you any stronger. It's not always good advice if the bully is a lot bigger and tougher. If only they really were all cowardly weaklings. In reality a lot are raised with violence and can take it in their stride.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

at that point they might as well just expel you.

saspa posted...

Not gonna lie, I cried when it happened.

Same. I think it was the first time I had, like, ugly, swollen-face crying out diapers.

JustaSandwich posted...

Reminds me of that "Weirdos" web series. Honestly I'll never be able to understand why so many teachers are unable to identify which students are being bullied. Like you've got this unattractive, overweight, socially awkward kid and they get into a confrontation with some rich attractive kid in designer clothes...why you always siding with the rich attractive kid in designer clothes when 99.999999% of the time they are the bully?

The Halo effect. People are more likely to thing ugly or shabby people are up to no good compared to well dressed, attractive people for some reason.

Zero tolerance was a huge mistake.

JustaSandwich posted...

why you always siding with the rich (...) kid (...)

Can you really not think of any reasons why?

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

*laugh track*

LincolnDuncan posted...

When I was in elementary school I would bring my x-men action figures in to show my friends/play with. One day an older kid came over and started asking to play with one of them, and then asked if he could borrow it. He was older, and I was scared of him so I said yes. The next day he came up and just asked to take one. I thought he meant just to play with and so I gave it to him. He went home with it.

The next day I didn't bring any in, and when he came up to me he asked where they were. I said I didn't bring any in, and he told me I'd better bring one in the next day or else.

I told my mom about it that night and how I had to bring in another toy. She came in and talked to the principle and tried to get my toys back from this bully. The Principle told her that I needed to learn a lesson about not giving my things away. He wanted to let the bully keep them.

They're always on the bully's side.

Thats government for you.

Payzmaykr posted...

Zero tolerance was a huge mistake.

Yea its on its face insane. It takes the why out of things, and the why is extremely important.

Here's a side not considered.

If you're a teacher, which parent would you least want to meet? The bully's parent or the victim's. The bully's parent is often just as crazy and violent as the bully and have criminal records.

My sister's friend, a teacher, was physically threatened by a bully's parents and the cops did fuck all. She ended up changing schools for her own safety.

This made me remember something from way back.

Some jerk slammed my hand in my locker while walking by. I called him a jerk for doing so. We both got in equal amounts of trouble (think sent to the office or something).

School sucks alright.

I remember being so timid and meek in 2nd grade that I got into a "fight" with a bully. And by fight, I mean he either punched me or pushed me then the librarian broke it up. Kid told them I bullied him. I got suspended. I literally never even touched the kid or said anything to him. My mom went up to the school and complained and got my suspension revoked though. Man that was wild.

Charged151 posted...

This made me remember something from way back.

Some jerk slammed my hand in my locker while walking by. I called him a jerk for doing so. We both got in equal amounts of trouble (think sent to the office or something).

School sucks alright.

WTF

Bullying didn't really stop for me until I was in grade 11, some kids were ping ponging me across the hall, I got fed up and when I got pushed towards the next kid I put my elbow up and ran, put him on his ass and unable to take in a breath. He and his friends surrounded me after school and I just pushed one aside and said to fuck off I need to get to work.

If I was in school today and that exact set of circumstances happened I'd probably have been suspended or expelled.

ReturnOfDevsman posted...

WTF

WTF indeed. It happened during Middle School. Thankfully a lot of the finer details I can't remember now.

And of course, lots of people had a horrible time at my particular Middle School. Fights. People getting beat up. People constantly getting cussed out. Horrible gossip. Occasional theft of Game Boys and lunch. Even some gang stuff. Luckily, barring that particular incident, I avoided a lot of worse crap that other people got hit with. And I got all A's to boot!

My 5th grade bully made school hell on a regular basis. I was good friends with his little brother, though. Then one day, his little brother came up to me and said that his brother died over the weekend after getting hit by a car.

My response was an extremely plain, "OK."

He looked at me weirdly and just walked away. We weren't really close after that ever again.

5th grade got way better after that.

CableZL posted...

My 5th grade bully made school hell on a regular basis. I was good friends with his little brother, though. Then one day, his little brother came up to me and said that his brother died over the weekend after getting hit by a car.

My response was an extremely plain, "OK."

He looked at me weirdly and just walked away. We weren't really close after that ever again.

5th grade got way better after that.

How old was the kid and what did he do to you? Usually at that age theres something going on at home or somewhere that makes them act out. Not always, but often.

Slayer2111 posted...

How old was the kid and what did he do to you? Usually at that age theres something going on at home or somewhere that makes them act out. Not always, but often.

He was maybe like 10 or 11, I'm not sure. Him and his friend would steal money from me, beat me up in the bathroom a few times... Stuff like that. After he died, I don't remember seeing his friend again, but 5th grade was so long ago.

My trick was being bigger and stronger than them.

imagine606 posted...

My trick was being bigger and stronger than them.

I was a very short kid for most of my childhood. My mom is 5'3" and my dad was 5'2" on a good day, so I figured I was going to be short just like them. I grew from 4'11" to 5'11" in high school, though. Once that happened, people didn't mess with me any more.

imagine606 posted...

My trick was being bigger and stronger than them.

I also had height on my side. I notice a lot of the smaller guys got it much worse.

CableZL posted...

I was a very short kid for most of my childhood. My mom is 5'3" and my dad was 5'2" on a good day, so I figured I was going to be short just like them. I grew from 4'11" to 5'11" in high school, though. Once that happened, people didn't mess with me any more.

Height is always tricky too. My parents being short as my mom is 5'1" and my dad was probably around 5'6". I did not max out in height until I was 16 and maxed out at 5'8".

"just ignore a bully and they will go away"

yeah no that has always been bullshit

not only does it teach the bully there are no consequences for their actions

but it cant have life long psychological effects i am almost 39 dropped out of high school when i was 15 do to bullying so bad i almost and a nervous break down

i still occasionally have nightmares about high school

Don't they claim you were fighting even if you literally just curl up in a ball and take the beating? You can't win.

Charged151 posted...

I also had height on my side. I notice a lot of the smaller guys got it much worse.

Yeah, thats why I would always step in when I saw it happening, suddenly they stopped when they knew someone their own size would be willing to step up to them. I still got a lot of verbal shit, but it would stop when I started moving in their direction.

imagine606 posted...

My trick was being bigger and stronger than them.

My trick was ratting out my bully to the school administration every chance I got, even for the slightest thing. And he eventually got kicked out of school.

And somehow nobody ever messed with me again. I apparently developed quite a reputation even though I couldn't fight anyone.

That's not to say it was easy to get there. I had plenty of instances where fighting back or defending myself were the 'wrong' things to do, which is how I eventually figured out I need to play the 'game' smarter and get the other guy in trouble first.

Seems like very American thing that victims of bullies are the ones who are penalised most harshly.

Dont get me wrong, when I was at school, if somebody tried to get physical with me I would make sure they regretted it, and I would get in trouble for it, but no more than they did. And the kids who didnt fight back didnt get in any trouble (though they often did continue to get bullied).

I remember one particular incident in DT where one of the kids swung a hammer at me so I hit him hard. The whole thing was caught on camera. Afterwards, the head teacher told me that I had to be suspended because Id broken the other kids nose, but to enjoy my break from school and hed make sure that no work was sent home.

monkmith posted...

lol i'm glad that's a common action. wouldn't call him 'my' bully, but the one asshole kid that liked to fuck with everyone tried to jump me in the locker room in middle school and i tossed him into a locker. had three other people there pull me off him.

best thing is that he never stopped fucking with other people and eventually he got jumped at his bus stop. nobody fessed up to who did it and everyone insisted that he just tripped and fell.

I never got bullied, but I remember the quiet kid got bullied and one time he just choke slammed the bully into the projector sending it flying across the room and an earthquake from the impact. NOBODY ever messed with that kid and people just started picking on the bully after that it was pretty funny to see. He absolutely deserved it, hope he enjoyed his humble pie. Kid was huge but never really spoke up, don't know why they bothered fucking with him.

Just for that playa you get to go 1 on 1 with the school district

I told the story before where a teacher actually gave me an award once for not fighting back while my bully pummeled me. I would get sent to the principals office when I did fight back until my mother got the Board of Education involved. After that, my principal would keep the bully but send me back to class.