Men aren't approaching women in person anymore

Sure but for me, that was like a death sentence. I know I should just move on but I can't.

I also almost drowned as a kid, and have never learned how to swim since. That's just the way I am. Something bad happens to me, I avoid it like the plague for the rest of my life.

It's not even true. Men still approach.

They do, but not like before

That seems like something you should try to address, since you're aware you're doing it. Almost drowning one time as a kid shouldn't stop you from trying to learn as an adult. Same thing with rejection.

I haven't noticed a difference tbh.

In fact, I would have expected it to go down. You know being older and all but it's about the same.

TuxedoCyan

Making human connections is not that hard.

I had a way easier time dating/married as a straight guy when I was in the closet.

The woman from the video and the writer of the article aren't actually being serious about the question btw, they don't actually care about it, its all to generate responses like this topic

Being shot down immediately sounds awful. I can definitely see that happening to me and that scares the hell out of me.

The only time I've ever approached a girl in my life was when I was like 7 years old. She turned me down and that completely broke my heart to the point that I vowed to never tell a girl how I felt ever again. 44 years old now and I still haven't been on a date.

I have severe social anxiety, zero self confidence, zero self worth, zero dollars (no job), no car, no friends, no public places I can go, no real motivation to change anything. I feel like I have absolutely nothing to bring to the table. I still want to believe that my life would be much better if I had a loved one, but I honestly don't see that ever happening in my life time. I don't feel like I deserve anyone. I never go out in public so I'm already eliminating the chance of a woman approaching me. I will never approach a woman.

When I was 18, I did ask a girl out to lunch and she said yes. She was really cute, shy, quiet type. But I could tell a few months prior to that, that she was insanely overly obvious crushing on me. Anytime I happened to see her, she would be looking at me, she would smile, blush, and then turn away as if I caught her starring at me. She complimented my smile a few times. She always went out of her way to be around me as much as possible. It was very obvious she liked me. But the problem was, I was terrified of a relationship and even though I knew she would say yes if I asked her to be my gf, I never did.

I was terrified of rejection and I was terrified of being accepted. So I chose to just take the middle route, and do nothing.

It's still a big regret to this day.

I just caught up reading this entire topic and there is a lot of good insight here (and some bad lol). Thank you al
l for posting.

You and I seem very similar. I am a few years younger than you are(41) but most everything else is similar. I was always too afraid to ask anyone because I felt like I had nothing to offer, and had no value as a person. There's no reason for anyone to choose me over anyone else. I also have severe social anxiety, no confidence or self worth, I do currently have 1 friend though so that's something I guess. And I do have a job, because my family grew up in poverty and I basically had to have one in order for us to eat(we're in a better situation now, but not by a huge margin).

I never had anyone obviously crushing on me like you did though, sorry that didn't work out.

To some of us, it is. This is the part that really disheartens me the most. It's like humanity as a whole has deemed me unfit to connect with.

Not a dig at you or anything, no offense intended here, but... It's also pretty telling when a gay man has an easier time getting women than I do.

Sure but for me, that was like a death sentence. I know I should just move on but I can't.

I also almost drowned as a kid, and have never learned how to swim since. That's just the way I am. Something bad happens to me, I avoid it like the plague for the rest of my life.

Id imagine the average guy is just to afraid of rejection nowadays. As there are few things our society mocks a men for then that.

Surely you've faced greater challenges than talking to a woman.

Hes allegedly lived a life of celibacy based off a rejection he experienced at 7 years old. Im sure theres a lot more going on here then what the post indicates.

Fear of rejection isn't a new thing. But it didn't used to be crippling to the point they'd rather suffer in silence than take the leap.

Well I have been posting on this website and other forums for the last 25 years how I've been unemployed since 1999 as a shut-in with social anxiety and have been living with my parents this entire time. I don't think I base my entire life on one rejection at 7 years old, but I have had severe social anxiety my entire life and no reason or motivation to fix it. I absolutely am still a virgin at age 44 because I've had absolutely zero social life since the 90s. Yes I have had other sad experiences as a kid and in my teen years. It's not just the one rejection. That's just the first one that sticks out in my memory and the reason why I had trouble with other girls that had crushes on me all throughout my school years.

Life has not been kind to me, and I have defenses that I can't just drop, and then when I do I just get hurt again. I know in my mind it's just bad luck, but in my heart I can't stop thinking that it's what I deserve.

I want is to find someone who sees me for who I am, and still chooses to care for me. I want to be wanted. I want to be loved.

And it seems like every single other person I nthe planet has that option but me, and yes, it's extremely frustrating.

Does hollering even count as approaching? Kind of feels like a half step between

I find it funny and interesting that my very logical and pragmatic post went largely ignored- perfectly fine, just my opinion, of course.

However, here's my question:
Why is it that so-called rejection from a woman is so much more debilitating than all other forms of rejection?

What is it about this kind of rejection that develops a complex in certain individuals?

I'll be honest, and say that I just don't understand it. Like at all.

Why is it that so-called rejection from a woman is so much more debilitating than all other forms of rejection?

What is it about this kind of rejection that develops a complex in certain individuals?

You too are worthy of love, no matter what anyone says.

Even if that someone is the one looking at you in the mirror.

This is why I tell people on CE that reality is not what you see in social media. Many people on CE's perceptions are skewed and not indicative of the rest of the country (let alone the world.)

so according to the most recent poll i could find on a site that logs stuff, which was held less than a year ago and received hundreds of responses and please do not make me completely whoop your ass on why that's a more than adequate representative sample size CE i am begging you to stay your lane regarding statistics/analytics just this once, about 1/4 of CE users (a bit more actually - 28%) are virgins

i am not aware of more than maybe 2 people on here who are under 25 years old, the vast majority being in their 30s and 40s

per Data Psychology, the percentage of american men over 25 who are virgins is 1.9% and the highest figure i could find in any other study was around 4%

That is actually very illuminating

And to your current question, I think it's because people place a lot of significance on finding a partner to settle down with. So rejection is seen as a failure to achieve that life milestone.

One theory is that on a deep instinctual level, it produces the negative feeling that the person's genes are not worthy to procreate (especially in the case of repeated rejection). It can manifest as a strong feeling of being left out of an (arguably) fundamental human bonding experience.

That's the thing I struggle with, I don't feel that way. I don't even feel like a person. I feel like an empty husky that just looks like a person, and if anyone looks closer they'd see there's nothing to me. I have to constantly remind myself that I am in fact a person, and an equal to other people. But then I see my failures and I can't realistically see myself as equal to anyone else.

Especilly after seeing everyone else succeed by just existing. It just happens naturally for them. Then have me be here, having had no success whatsoever. I'm not like other people, and even those who are better than me and find success struggle sometimes. What chance would someone like me even have?

Before what? Like I stated before and so did Gladius_ I get approach all the time. Nothing seems to have changed as far as I can tell.

That's anecdotal

Well I have been posting on this website and other forums for the last 25 years how I've been unemployed since 1999 as a shut-in with social anxiety and have been living with my parents this entire time. I don't think I base my entire life on one rejection at 7 years old, but I have had severe social anxiety my entire life and no reason or motivation to fix it. I absolutely am still a virgin at age 44 because I've had absolutely zero social life since the 90s. Yes I have had other sad experiences as a kid and in my teen years. It's not just the one rejection. That's just the first one that sticks out in my memory and the reason why I had trouble with other girls that had crushes on me all throughout my school years.

It may appear that people succeeded without trying, some lucky ones do. Most people however have their own unseen struggles.