Lurker > Chronic1000

It is, but it was just an image of his head, or something.

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Push the button, Frank...

A shiny Poliwag in Gold or Crystal (can't remember which.)

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Push the button, Frank...

http://mst3k.wikia.com/wiki/Mystery_Science_Theater_3000_Wiki

Most of the info I got detailing movies, host segments, and trivia I got from this site. If you ever need the info, I'd suggest going there. It worked for me!

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Push the button, Frank...

Seeing as the movie was made after TV's Frank "died", that would've been sorta impossible.

Though I've heard that Frank's head somehow made it into the movie during one of the door sequences. I've never seen it myself..

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Push the button, Frank...

For the topic? No.

Have I seen it before? Yes, plenty of times.

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Push the button, Frank...

El bumpage

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El bumpo.

<_< What? To 500, I say!

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Push the button, Frank...

Thanks for your kind words, though I don't think I deserve to be in the front row. All I did was watch the magic, they had to make it.

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Push the button, Frank...

First off, thanks for the kind words. Had I not written down favorite riffs for the first six seasons, I probably would've done the two(ish) episodes per day plan I had for seasons eight-ten, which would've really shorten this watchthrough down! I was surprised to find out that time wise, two episodes a day = one episode w/ favorite riffs. At any rate, I'm just glad I got done before June.

I knew going in that Time Chasers and Overdrawn at the Memory Bank would get high marks from me, partly because those were two favorite episodes of mine when I was younger. Overdrawn at the Memory Bank was far more hilarious now than it was back then, mostly because I KNOW who TV's Frank is, and imaging the Fatman as TV's Frank makes that one hilarious movie. As for Werewolf,I don't really remember watching when I was younger, but it's a good episode nonetheless.

As I said in the previous post, I watched the entire series online. I own no episode on DVD. I'm shocked I have yet buy any, because this is my all time favorite TV series. Perhaps that will change very soon.

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Push the button, Frank...

176 episodes watched, reviewed, and uploaded. I know some people (Super Janitor) doubted I would be able to finish this project (albeit he wanted me to finish the project, but didn't think I could.) Here I stand, just over six months later, tallying up the final season. Happy knowing that I've finished watching one of my all time favorite shows, but kinda bummed out that I won't start tomorrow morning up listening to Joel/Mike and the Bots cracking jokes on a bad movie.

Looking at the scores, I see that I rated most of the season above average, and I agree with my previous rankings. Most episodes during this season are good, but not great. The obvious exclusion being Hamlet, which REALLY brings the season's average down. This is a pretty good season with several decent episodes, so you might want to watch a few of them.


This wasn't QUITE the end to MST3K. The series so nice they canceled it twice remained on the Sci-Fi Channel for nearly five years after it's cancellation and lived on in reruns. Sci-Fi and Best Brains even extended their contract in 2002 to allow by two years. Weird how Sci-Fi wanted the series around, yet didn't want them making new episodes. The series finally left TV on January 31st, 2004 with the Screaming Skull the final episode ever aired.

Like when the series was canceled by Comedy Central, fans of the series petitioned another network to pick up MST3K for a few more seasons. Unfortunately their requests fell on deaf ears. While the show is gone, it won't ever be forgotten, no matter how much Comedy Central tries.

The performers from the series have split off into two groups that take the basic MST3K premise and make it fresh and new. Mike, Kevin, and Bill have been doing Rifftrax for years (basically MST3K for popular movie, obscure shorts, and the like.) while Joel, Trace, Josh, Frank, and Mary Jo have been doing Cinematic Titanic (basically MST3K Live) as well. If you enjoy the series, I highly recommend you buy/download/go to these shows.

If you want classic MST3K, Youtube is our friend on this one and you can find (almost) every single episode (the only episodes I couldn't find on there when I was doing this watchthrough were The Crawling Hand, Project Moonbase, (parts of) King Dinosaur, The Godzilla movies, and the first Gamera movie. A quick youtube search now shows that the ONLY episode not on Youtube (assuming the ones that were still are) is Godzilla vs. Sea Monster.) You can also buy DVDs of some of the most popular episodes online. Most recently, the entire Gamera(!) series was brought DVD. And the fandom rejoiced, indeed!


While it might be a while before I watch a full episode again, I am glad that I've seen the entire series now. It's always something I've wanted to do, I'm just glad I've done it! Well, enough rambling...


Here are the rankings for Season Ten
Squirm w/short A Case of Spring Fever: 10/10
Track of the Moon Beast: 9.5/10
Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders: 9/10
Diabolik: 9/10
Soultaker: 8.5/10
Future War: 8.5/10
Girl in Gold Boots: 8/10
It Lives By Night 8/10
Boggy Creek II: And The Legend Continues: 7.5/10
Final Justice: 7.5/10
Blood Waters of Dr. Z: 7/10
Horrors of Spider Island: 7/10
Hamlet: 1.5/10


Season Rankings:
Season Seven: 8.5/10
Season Three: 8.3/10
Season Five (Joel): 8.3/10
Season Six: 8.2/10
Season Five: 8.1/10
Season Eight: 8/10
Season Five (Mike) 7.9/10
Season Ten: 7.7/10
Season Nine: 7.7.10
Season Four: 7.6/10
Season Two: 7.5/10
Season One: 5.7/10

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Whoa.

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Season Ten Episode Thirteen: Diabolik
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy


Plot Synopsis: In psychedelic swinging 60s style, the dreaded thief Diabolik (Law) wreaks havoc on a generic European country for his own financial gain and amusement. He shares an extravagant underground lair (and a giant bed of money) with his curvaceous, superficial girlfriend (Mell), who uses her awesome powers of wig-wearing to help Diabolik kill innocent people and steal billions from the government.

Host Segments:

Prologue: Mike & the Bots discover the SOL employee handbook, which seems not entirely progressive.

Segment One: Mike toys around with the handbook; Crow asks about dental coverage. "Shut up, you have no right to ask." While looking through the ship tips to the side! Pearl has a new joystick to mess with the SOL, but it breaks, accidentally causing the SOL to begin landing. Mike & the Bots are thrilled (though Crow is nauseous); Pearl is less thrilled.

Segment Two: Crow and Mike are packed; while Servo begins disposing of the many extra hims on the ship.

Segment Three: In Castle Forrester, everybody is lining up new gigs: Pearl has accepted an offer to be dictator for life of Qatar, Bobo has a great new position at the zoo and Brain Guy has...um...lots of stuff going on.

Segment Four: Crow has become fearful of returning to Earth, so Mike sings a little reassuring song, which helps, but also succeeds in scaring Servo.

Ending Segment: The SOL nearly disintegrates during re-entry, but Mike & the Bots survive the crash. We leave Mike, Crow and Servo (Gypsy has launched ConGypsCo) happily sharing a small apartment, and settling in to watch a bad movie--"The Crawling Eye"--on TV. As they begin to riff on it, it occurs to Crow that the movie seems familar.

Stinger: "Is that stud coming?"

Review:

The final episode. The last hurrah. The... End. You know, I've seen this episode a few times (like most other episodes of this season) and I could never quite wrap my head around the movie. Maybe it's because it's the final episode, maybe it's because the movie is hard to follow, I dunno.

The riffing is good though. While the movie has a weird plot that feels a James Bond knockoff, it leaves enough room for some great riffing, and boy do MatBs not disappoint. I guess they just wanted to go out with a bang. The host segments are great and really give closure to the series. One thing that's always got me is the final credits. It's the same for this episode as it is for all the others, but it just feels... sadder. You know? LIke, it's the last episode and there will never be another MST3K episode. It's a bummer, for sure. Overall, this is a good series finale, and I'm glad the series went out with a bang. 9/10

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Weird, I thought the shoot happened in 1996. Dillon didn't join WCW until Feb-March of 1997.

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Taggage.

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Season Ten Episode Twelve: Squirm w/short A Case of Spring Fever
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy


Plot Synopsis (short): NOTHING I can say will make the plot sound as good as what the good people of TVTropes cooked up: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ACaseOfSpringFever

The sad thing is, they aren't FAR off from the truth.

Plot Synopsis (movie): Antique collector Mick goes to the deep south to meet up with a country girl Geri about a possible antique show. Things go south with dumb southener Roger thinks Mick's trying to get in her Daisy Dukes. Oh, and there's electrified worms everywhere, something the apathetic and corrupt sheriff couldn't care less about.


Host Segments:

Prologue: The annual safety check on the SOL reveals that it's completely unsafe. And suggests an alternative use for HAM radios.

Segment One: Pearl is happy! She organizes a fair at Castle Forrester, modestly beginning her quest for worldwide fair domination. She's not impressed by the Bots' prize pig, but she is wowed by some other offbeat attractions. There seems to be a lot happening on the satellite that Mike isn't aware of.

Segment Two: Mikey the Mike Sprite visits and shows the Bots a world without Mike, but they are unfazed by Mikey's powers

Segment Three: Servo has contracted an extreme case of Southern Belleness! it's up to Mike and Crow to Yankee him back to his senses.

Segment Four: Mike replicates the electrical experiment from the movie on his pal Emmett the worm. With delicious results.

Ending Segment: Crow tries to poke fun at the gangly younger sister in the movie by way of his really tall platform shoes. It's not long before he realizes the drawbacks of this plan. Back at the castle, Pearl appears to have seriously misunderstood the allure of bungee jumping. Come to the fair!

Stinger: "You gon' be the worm-face!"

Review:

Now that I've seen every episode, I know ACoSF is just the TIP of the iceberg of bizarre and crazy shorts shown during MST3K. The short is a good one for a few laughs, but there are better ones out there.

Continuing the theme of movies set south of the Mason-Dixon line this season, we get Squirm. A movie so southern fried, you might have worse blood pressure after watching it. This is a stinker of a movie with a pretty hilarious overly long gag (MR. BEARDSLEY!) Also, don't ask Roger about his thumb story.

Great episode, must watch, blah blah blah. Height of Season Ten hilarity. 10/10

Trivia: Sylvester Stallone, Martin Sheen, and Kim Basinger auditioned for the parts of Roger, Mick, and Geri, resepctively. That would've been interesting.

Another note: The director of this turd (Jeff Lieberman) thought it would be funny to make take thats at the show. He failed. He was also stupid enough to send an angry letter to Best Brains Inc.... only he sent it to a fansite.

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Season Ten Episode Eleven: Horrors of Spider Island
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy


Plot Synopsis: A troupe of dancers and their box shaped manager en route to Singapore crash near a deserted island. After washing up on the beach, the gals coo and sigh their way to a cabin previously occupied by a professor in search of pitchblende (uranium). Radioactivity has wreaked havoc on the island's spiders giving them the strange ability to turn men into, fur faced vampires. Strangely enough, only one spider appears, and doesn't last too long, though he does get Bob Boxbody. Will the girls survive? Will the two dirtbags that help the long dead professor be of us? Will we see more skin the a Cinemax late night movie? ALL WILL BE REVEALED!

Host Segments:

Prologue: Crow has a syndicated column in several major newspapers. Mike doesn't appreciate his keen observational powers. Tom is a big fan.

Segment One: Pearl decides to move the castle in order to avoid the rising costs of a monkey license. Brain Guy protests, but Bobo is thrilled.

Segment Two: Mike clumsily stumbles into the Bots' obvious giant spider web.

Segment Three: Mike is auditioning dancers in Castle Forrester a la Gary. Brain Guy's Flashdance gets his legs crossed in a hurry.

Segment Four: Crow wonders if the movie's portrayal of women after a plane crash is accurate.

Ending Segment: Mike's been turned into a Spider! Except...not really. Meanwhile, The Mads decide to move the castle yet again. Bobo makes a chance discovery in a truckstop men's room, and Pearl decides it's time for "the talk."

Stinger: Stock footage of a plane crash makes the girls scream.

Review:

This is another German-made film dubbed (badly) into English. Unlike Hamlet, it isn't god awful. It at least has more skin than you can shake a *ahem* stick at. I also think this is the third? movie that deals with Spiders (after Earth vs. The Spider, and Giant Spider Invasion.) Unlike the other two, the spider's only a small plot point to bring us a were-creature. What is this, the forth movie this season that involves a person becoming a man killing creature? Yikes. It is. And there's still one left to go! (sorta, kinda.)

The movie is hard to pin down though. Part of the time, it's a straight horror flick with a bad premise, other times it feels like an exploitation movie with lots of near nudity. I guess the filmmakers were trying to split the difference, but failed at doing both. The riffing though has lot to be desired. While it's not a bad episode by any means, it does lack a lot of truly laugh out loud moments. Lots of the humor to me came from the first twenty minutes or so. At least it was nice to look at.

The host segments were a bit confusing to me. It seems that the second host segment should have been closer to the end, while three and four should've been the second and third, respectively. Perhaps that was intentional? Seems weird if it was. Overall, this is an alright episode, with lots of fanservice, but not an ultra high amount of good of riffing. 7/10

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I could see either Rhodes or Barrett win the title this year. I can see one of them win MitB and cash it in at say, Survivor Series or something.

I wonder if they're going to even attempt two MitB matches this year or not.

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Season Ten Episode Ten: It Lives By Night
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy


Plot Synopsis: A bat research doctor (Moss) is bitten by a cave bat and undergoes an accelerating transformation into a man-bat creature, which essentially ruins his honeymoon and causes considerable distress for his wife. After committing a few murders and causing some mayhem, the man-bat makes love to his wife, infecting her with the bat contagion. The wife then kills the corrupt sheriff and joins her husband in the caves.

Host Segments:

Prologue: Mike quizzes Crow and Tom on colors and the moods they invoke. ‘Eggshell’ horrifies the bots, which makes it the perfect color for Mike’s bathroom.

Segment One: Pearl uses tactical misdirection so Mike and the bots won’t notice that she’s spraying poison on them, causing mutations.

Segment Two: Mike and Tom can’t deny that they didn’t forget that Crow is not Mary Tyler Moore. Mike is Ted Baxter!

Segment Three: Finding Mike unconscious with foam on his mouth, Crow and Tom assume the worst. They immediately begin to administer rabies shots. It turns out Mike simply fell asleep while eating a cream puff.

Segment Four: Mike seeks Pearl’s opinion on his new moustache, but Crow’s larger stache impresses her more. Tom, of course, takes the premise way too far.

Ending Segment: Tom is unhappy with his franchise kit from the Buddy Ebsen Hat Distressing Corporation after he sees Crow’s franchise kit from the Red Skelton Hat Distressing Company. Down in Castle Forrester, Pearl torments Bobo and Brain Guy with slides from her many honeymoons and stories of the deaths of all of her husbands and fiancés.

Stinger: The bat guy says “Well?” and convulses.

Review:

Werewolf must've stolen a lot of plot points from bad 70's movies. First Track of the Moon Beast, and now It Lives By Night. Honestly all three movies have the same basic plot.

This movie is dull and boring (but with LOTS of room for riffings.) The movie has a few laughable scenes as well 'the crusty bum the Doctor hangs out with', for example, and the whole 'You can only see my eye when I'm clearly still normal' scene.The movie's not one of the best out there, but it's good for some decent chuckles. 8/10

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Clearly, they wait till they can go to Germany and goose step. That's one guarantee you'll get a long WWE title run.

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Smells like a work to me.

It's unusual enough CM Punk came out with the Brazilian Flag. The fact that he could "apologize" to the fans not get in trouble? Please.

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Final Justice is indeed one ridiculous movie. I can agree to that.

Season Ten Episode Nine: Hamlet
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy


Plot Synopsis: Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, returns home to find his father murdered and his mother remarrying the murderer, his uncle.

Host Segments:

Prologue: Tom reveals that he's changed his last name from Servo to the identically pronounced but differently spelt Sirveaux. When also reveals he's added a h to his first name, changing it not to the expected Thom but to Htom, he gets less acclaim.

Segment One: While Crow introduces his new name change, Pearl puts the finishing touches on her deadly virus.Mike is only interested in playing three card monte to decide the choice of today's movie. He wins the rigged game, and selects Hamlet. He then makes the mistake of allowing Pearl to chose which production.

Segment Two: The Bots plan to scare Mike by pretending to be the ghost of his dead father falls apart due to the fact his dad isn't dead. As is every other relative the pair can name.

Segment Three: The Bots attempt to come up with their own alternate productions of Hamlet. Their percussion version isn't that much more successful than the scuba diving, buckethead or all furniture versions they've tried.

Segment Four: MatBs play Alas Poor Who?, the game where you have to guess the identity of the person based on a single bone from their body. Problems are encountered as Tom doesn't trust his answers, Crow doesn't answer in the correct form and with the lack of codpiece for Mike's costume.

Ending Segment: The Bots have made their own Hamlet action figure, with a voice box that has a really, really long string to activate it. Meanwhile down in Castle Forrester Fortinbras resents being dropped from this movie's version of Hamlet and demands his scene be re-enacted, giving Pearl a worthy test subject for her virus.

Stinger: Claudius does a double take.

Review:

MST3K is one of those series that is almost impossible for everyone to agree what is the the best episode. Everyone has an opinion, and good merits toward it. However, it is almost universally agreed that ONE episode stands out as the WORST of MST3K. That movie, is Hamlet.

The real problem about Hamlet is that the play is one that takes several hours long to perform, and when you convert it to MST3K, you're going to cut out huge chunks of it (hence Fortinbras appearing at the end.) Despite that, the movie is still boring and badly paced. The riffing is alright, but Mike and the Bots couldn't save it. The host segments are alright, but it's near impossible to salvage this turd. They tried, and ultimately failed. DO NOT EVER attempt to watch this episode. You can watch Monster A-Go Go for the sheer badness, Invasion of the Neptune Men for the Hitler Building, but don't even watch Hamlet. It's not worth it. You'll regret it. 1.5/10

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Season Ten Episode Eight: Final Justice
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy


Plot Synopsis: Thomas Jefferson Geronimo (Joe Don Baker) is a deputy sheriff working in a small town in South Texas. When two mafia hit men try to escape across the border to Mexico, Geronimo, with the skill of a quick-draw gunfighter, kills one and captures the other, but not before they murder his sheriff friend. When Geronimo tries to take his prisoner to Italy for extradition, they find themselves on an unplanned layover in Malta. The Texas lawman must battle the Mafia to finish the job he started.

Host Segments:

Prologue: Tom and Mike consider the unexplored implications of the Yes song "Owner of a Lonely Heart." Tom is insistent that the band should have considered every possible permutation of "A owner of a lonely heart, is much better than-".

Segment One: Now whenever MatBs say "Owner of a Lonely Heart," they're assaulted by a Yes orchestra hit. Pearl attempts to raise productivity through humor, but she doesn't approve of the type of humor demonstrated on the SoL or by Bobo.

Segment Two: Disturbed by the sequence where Greydon Clark is shot and slides down the wall twice, MatBs strive to point out how annoying this is to Pearl. Repeatedly. She eventually caves and agrees to never send another movie with the exact same instance ever again.

Segment Three: Goosio, friend to Maltese children everywhere, arrives on the SOL as a goodwill ambassador, but the bots think it's a joke by Mike and brutally dismember the poor lovable goose.

Segment Four: Crow has written an essay on the wonder and splendor of Malta. It also includes a great deal of slander against the men of Malta.

Ending Segment: Mike assumes that because Joel was able to escape after watching a bad Joe Don Baker film that it must now be his turn to escape. The Bots point out that, it's not going to happen. Mike asks if they can watch a good Joe Don Baker film, but Crow assures him that would never happen. Meanwhile down in Castle Forrester, Pearl's funny dress-up day get a scary dose of reality from Brain Guy.

Stinger: Geronimo's catch phrase - "Yew think yew kin take me? Go 'head on. It's yer move."

Review:

I remember watching this move quite a few times back when it was on Sci-Fi, and while I enjoyed it, I know now that it pales in comparison to Mitchell. Mitchell is quite clearly a dumb cop who just stumbles into a big case. Geronimo is a terrible cop who thinks he's the only sane man.

The riffing, as I pointed out, isn't as good in this episode as it was in Mitchell. This isn't a slight toward Mike or anything, but it's true. Mitchell is far better, though this movie has some good moments and riffs. The host segments are weak, except for the last bit where Brain Guy is dressed up in leather for a date. It's a decent episode, but there are better this season. 7.5/10

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Season Ten Episode Seven: Track of the Moon Beast
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo and Brainguy


Plot Synopsis: Paul Carlson, a mineralogist, gets a small fragment of moon rock imbedded in his brain during a meteor shower. Everything seems okay until he transforms into a man-sized monitor lizard and starts eating people and making a general nuisance of himself whenever the moon is full. The authorities call in renowned professor Johnny Longbow , expert in Navajo legends, archery, and stew. Longbow, who coincidentally is best friends with Paul the were-lizard, solves the case and kills Paul with moon-rock arrows.

Host Segments:

Prologue: Blossoming makes everything taste great!

Segment One: Crow and Mike devour Servo's deliciously blossomed head. Pearl has created a device that controls Bobo by universal remote.

Segment Two: Crow, Servo, and Gypsy rush the Halloween season. Mike, unimpressed, continues to eat pea pods. An unimpressed Crow, tries to make it look like Mike was terrified, but takes it a little too far.

Segment Three: SOL's Legends of Rock present: The tragic story behind The Band That Played "California Lady."

Segment Four: With the help of the Mobile Personnel Reconnaissance Robot, Servo and Crow might finally learn what kind of pajamas Mike wears!

Ending Segment: While playing with his bow and arrow, Servo accidentally shoots a baby satellite. Brain Guy give Bobo a few pointers on how to care for his newly exposed brain. Pearl hates that.

Stinger: Girl is wowed by moon rocks.


Review:

You know, playing the "Name that recycled premise" game is getting easier and easier while I go through Season Ten. The plot for this movie reminds me of Werewolf, almost eerily so. You got a guy name Paul (not too different from you or me) who, through some crazy nonsense, becomes a creature when a full moon shows up. You got the female lead that does nothing, both are set in the Southwest, and there is a Native American character... Though in this movie the character is far more important.

The riffing is as good in this movie as they are in Werewolf. Notably, once Johnny Longbow (Longbone) starts discussing stew ingredients, the riffing kicks it into another gear, and never quite lets up. The host segments are great, and the bit with the Band That Played California Lady is one of the best host segments of this season. Great episode. 9.5/10

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Yes

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Season Ten Episode Six: Boggy Creek II: And The Legend Continues...
Network: Sci-Fi Network
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Dr. Bobo, and Brain Guy


Plot Synopsis: For nearly ten years, the swamps of Texarkana, Arkansas, have been quiet. But now, residents are once again having sightings of the Boggy Creek Creature, only this time, the creature is very aggressive. After numerous townfolk are attacked, anthropologist Brian C. Lockhart is called in to investigate the reports. Lockhart and three of his students head down to the muddy banks of the Sulfur River to look for answers.

Host Segments:

Prologue: Mike and Crow are in uniform for their cub scout meeting, but Tom's choice of a brownie costume due to his body style and keen eye for a bargain ostracizes him. Crow declines to think of Tom as a "she-belo."

Segment One: Tom's second choice of Flemish glass blower costumer fares no better, while down in Castle Forrester Pearl prepares to use grade school science to control the world's power. Things go wrong when Bobo misunderstands Pearl's command to get large quantity of potatoes and MatBs are unable to supply an acceptable replacement foodstuff.

Segment Two: The Bots are fighting until Mike breaks them up, only to forget why he came there in the first place. The bots and Mike decide to use flashbacks to help him remember. Mike eventually remembers he came up to get his contacts.

Segment Three: Inspired by the movie and smelling a buck, Pearl invents the legend of the Monster of Forrester Swamp complete with Brain Guy's singing a folk song about the mysterious creature. The SOL crew repeatedly point out it's Bobo.

Segment Four: Tom has taken up whittling in a big way, opting to commercialize and expand his interest into big business with WHITLtech.

Ending Segment: Lord a'mercy, Crow has to tend to his fires, until the Bots get bored with playing "Smelly Mountain Man and Baby Critter" and leave Mike to clear up the mess. Meanwhile, the Legend of Forrester Swamp giftshop receives an eager young visitor whose dreams are shattered when the Legend makes an appearance.

Stinger: "I saw the little creature." "Nooo!!"

Review:

The second straight movie that has a setting in the south, this one tells the "classic" story of Bigfoot. If you've ever lived in the south, you know that Bigfoot stories aren't in short supply, and this movie (billed as the second, yet the third made) is just one variant on the mythos. The movie is relatively boring, at least till Crenshaw the hick shows up. Nothing says hilarity like a partly dressed fat redneck who probably hasn't seen a building higher than three stories.

Mike and the Bots really play up the Southern stereotypes in this episode. Of course, it's not hard to do that, since the movie is crammed with them. The host segments are alright, about what you expect from the season. Another somewhat decent episode. 7.5/10

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Season Ten Episode Five: Blood Waters of Dr. Z
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy


Plot Synopsis: A mad scientist seeking revenge against administrative types that have cruelly denied his perfectly reasonable requests for unlimited quantities of money and human beings to experiment on. He also wants to get a girl, for some reason.

Host Segments:

Prologue: Crow takes up chewing tobacco. He keeps spitting the juice into soda cans, so Mike doesn't know which one to drink. Crow spits some juice into Mike's shoe.

Segment One: Crow marks the cans he spits into so Mike won't drink it accidentally, though Tom doesn't think it's too good.. Pearl deprives the SOL of love, as part of an experiment. There's not much of a difference, until Pearl sends a basket full of random items that she loves. Crow freaks out when it's taken away.

Segment Two: Crow does an evil voiceover while watching Mike at the bridge, but he gets wedged in a bulkhead and Mike has to loosen him.

Segment Three: The SOL crew goes fishing while in orbit over a lake. However, the decompression makes their catches worthless.

Segment Four: The bots get Bobo and Observer to help convince Mike that nudity in acting is good. Mike is not convinced and asks the 'bots if they just want nude women.

Ending Segment: The 'bots create personalized food carrying cases. Pearl turns Bobo into a mermonkey.

Stinger: Dr: Z. narrates: "Sargassum: the weed of deceit!" over a shot of the plant.

Review:

Movie #279513 with the plot involving a mad scientist seeking revenge because people thought he was, well... mad. To be more specific, the movie sort of felt like the Projected Man, with the mad scientist also becoming a (madder) monster. Hell, if you're seen one mad scientist movie, you've seen them all.

The riffing quality varies. At some points, the riffing is really funny and enjoyable. At other points, it sort of peters off an is more subdue, or simply isn't a good riff. The host segments vary as well. The chewing tobacco bit was kinda funny, but I wasn't laughing that hard. The nudity bit with Bobo and Observer was something I wish I hadn't seen, as well. Overall, this is an above average episode. 7/10

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... Shouldn't The Miz have that?

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The Devil's Gift indeed ends with everyone dying. Also, the show Grandpa Borgnine and Sucky McChildactor were watching at the very start was the beginning of Devil's Gift. Weird how Grandpa Borginne didn't recognize his own work there...

Season Ten Episode Four: Future War
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy


Plot Synopsis: A race of evil cyborgs kidnaps humans from Earth's future to use as slaves and take dinosaurs from the past to use as trackers. One of their slaves, the Runaway, escapes and makes his way to present-day Los Angeles. There he must fend off the cyborgs and their trackers, the police, and the government, befriended by a prostitute-turned-nun who runs a halfway house.

Host Segments:

Prologue: Using a computer spreadsheet program and Diane Feinstein as a baseline, Crow tries to calculate how many times a lady Gypsy is. Gypsy is disappointed that she is only 2.7 times a lady; turns out Mike is eight times a lady.

Segment One: Pearl is conducting LSD tests on the robots and monitors their hallucinations. Bobo and Brain Guy have formed an acid rock band called Narcotic Casserole. Servo has his usual delirium; Crow has a harrowing experience in which he sees Mike eating a Snickers instead of a Milky Way. Crow is also somewhat surprised to learn that Mike is not a clown.

Segment Two: Tom makes a pair of legs so he can kickbox. He challenges Gypsy to a fight, but she has a singular, misshapen leg of her own and instantly takes out Servo.

Segment Three: MatBs realize they've never really thanked Pearl for not killing them. They take a moment to thank Pearl, interrupting her attempt to kill them.

Segment Four: Crow is Droppy, The Water Droplet, an emissary from the National Water Council, who has come to share just a few thousand of the many uses for water.

Ending Segment: Mike has a giant Robert Z'Dar-esque chin. Down in Castle Forrester, Bobo and Brain Guy inform Pearl that Narcotic Casserole is leaving to tour with Moby Grape. Pearl gives them each exploding tracking collars.

Stinger: Robert Z'Dar and Daniel Bernhardt kick-box and Bernhardt's shirt somehow slips off.

Review:

What do you get when you take the Terminator, Jurassic Park, Predator, Jean Claude Van Damme, throw them in a blender, and hit puree? You get Future War. A plot that makes little sense, acting that stinks, and strange Christian Overtones. Oh, and Forced Perspective for effects.

Another good episode from Season Ten. Like the rest of the Sci-Fi Era, I've seen most of the movies enough times to know them by heart, even this many years later. It's a good episode, with some great riffing and and pretty funny host segments. 8.5/10

Trivia: Producer Dave Eddy and a few crew members remarked how hilarious it would be if this movie would appear on MST3K during production. What a nice prediction that way, eh?

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Season Ten Episode Three: Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy


Plot Synopsis: A terribly acted grandson watches violent movies, and when the electricity goes out, his equally demented Grandpa (Ernest Borgnine, who apparently ate a few good child actors beforehand) tells him a few stories. Despite the family fantasy framing device, the feature is a LOT darker than you'd expect. Whether or not this is before Merlin hung out with Santa is never discussed.

Host Segments:

Prologue: The gang on the SOL are into 1920s college pranks. Mike is swallowing goldfish; Servo is stuck in a phone booth with a bunch of other hims; and Crow is flag-pole sitting.

Segment One: Pearl receives orders from the Institute of Mad Science for an experiment, which is to give Servo complete power and authority over the others. Before Pearl can even finish her hypothesis, Servo has made himself autocratic ruler of the SOL. However, Pearl adds a variant to the experiment: fire ants in the test subject's underwear, which causes Servo to return his power to Mike.

Segment Two: Servo and Crow review each other. Things degenerate and both are panned.

Segment Three: Servo, using a bogus magic book, accidentally turns Mike into an adult baby but Mike doesn't realize it. Servo is freaked out, Mike has a "present" for Servo, and Mike is upset.

Segment Four: Mike & the Bots browse through the series of Ernest Borgnine children’s books, all of which more disturbing than the last, except for Dr. Blood's Orgy of Gore, which is relatively tame.

Ending Segment: Pearl sends an evil monkey up to the SOL: Bobo; back in Castle Forrester, Brain Guy is trying to "accidentally" knock Bobo into a paper bag.

Stinger: ROCK AND ROLL MAR-TIAN!

Review:

This is another one of those movies that has a pretty decent plot for a horror movie. The framing device with Ernest Borgnine and Sucky McChildactor is really weak, as Mike and the Bots point out, since apparently Grandpa Ernest is not only demented, but thinks going into details about dead animals and people dying is fine for a children's story. Bad movie, bad acting, and a very poor framing device.

The riffing is really good, though considering the material that shouldn't be too surprising. The host segments are pretty good, with my favorite being the "other" children's books Ernest Borgnine had. Very good episode overall. 9/10

Trivia: Technically speaking, this was the "final" new episode aired of MST3K, and it aired after the Series Finale by a good month. The reason why is because there was some trouble for the airing rights, which had to be held up, but they (obviously) got that worked out.

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Season Ten Episode Two: Girl in Gold Boots
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy


Plot Synopsis: Michele, a young woman who works at a dead-end job, is convinced by an obviously untrustworthy man named Buz to go with him to Los Angeles, where he claims to have connections that can land her a job as a Go-Go dancer. The two head to L.A., along with a hitchhiker named Critter. Once in Los Angeles, Michele gets a job and learns how connected her employers are to the drug trade.

Host Segments:

Prologue: Tom and Crow show off their WWJD parodies.

Segment One: Pearl is being audited by the Institute of Mad Scientists.

Segment Two: Crow tries to get beer poured on Mike's most treasured possessions, like Buz poured beer on a hood's bike in the movie. It doesn't work out the way he planned.

Segment Three: Crow Go-Go dances.

Segment Four: Mike sings a silly version of Critter's lament in the movie, while Crow's image is superimposed over the scene, reporting a fire.

Ending Segment: Pearl is about to lose her license, but is certified when Brain Guy Go-Go dances.

Stinger: "Oh God, I wish I had that pretty mind back!"

Review:

I believe I touched on this earlier, but one of the prerequisites for MST3K to be on Sci-Fi is that they dealt exclusively with movies that were supernatural in some shape or form. Apparently a man shot into space wasn't sci-fi enough. Season Ten that rule began to lax a bit, with Girl in Gold Boots being one of the few movies shown that wasn't supernatural in any way. The movie still ten kinds of terrible, though.

The riffing is enjoyable, and the host segments are pretty decent. I've seen better though. Good episode though. 8/10

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Probably go into an AOL Chatroom.

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Season Ten Episode One: Soultaker
Network: The Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo and Brain Guy


Plot Synopsis: When four teenagers seemingly die in a car wreck, a mysterious man dressed in black is sent to retrieve their souls. However, he comes to find that their souls are disembodied. As they flee from "The Man," he begins picking them off one-by-one and becomes infatuated with one of the teenagers, who is the spitting image of his lover in a past life. The two remaining teens must attempt to reunite their souls with their hospitalized bodies, before their parents decide to pull the plug.

Host Segments:

Prologue: The bots are confused about why their "wet T-shirt contest" is so dull; commercial sign malfunctions. A strange ship is outside the SoL..

Segment One: The malfunctions on the SOL get worse, as a certain figure can barely be seen and heard behind the transmission of an image of Martin Van Buren. Mike tries to tell the Bots, but they don't care too much. Gypsy is acting weird as well. The Mads seem to care more about the Monopoly game, though Bobo is upset about always being the thimble.

Segment Two: With Gypsy malfunctioning, Mike tries to take command, confuses the SoL with the Enterprise, breaks the Hexfield, and runs off to his room.

Segment Three: MatBs think they've fixed everything... then everything goes wrong on the SOL, but a Soultaker is in Castle Forrester... and it's TV's Frank! He explains how he's gone from Second Banana Heaven to soultaking. While all that's going on, the mysterious ship saves the SOL.

Segment Four: The mysterious visitor who saved the SOL appears enters, and it's Joel! He fills in the bots on what he's been up to, and he and Mike share a tender moment. Servo warns Mike not to compare his life to Joel's.

Ending Segment: Joel completes repairs on the SOL, says hi to Frank, and departs with some uplifting words to MatBs; in Castle Forrester Bobo and Frank hit it off.

Stinger: "Mom" ogles her daughter.


Review:

If there is one episode MST3K fans look at and scream "WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN!" It's this one. Joel Robinson, gone for six years (or so), comes back to the Satellite of Love, and DOESN'T riff on a movie? That would have immediately put this to 10/10. However, since Joel didn't want to make riffs without being part of the process, we missed it. It's a real shame we as fans missed out on it.

As for the movie itself, it's honestly not that bad. The plot is pretty decent. The budget isn't that good, and the fact this is little more than a fan fic made by Vivian Schilling (the female lead/writer of the movie) doesn't help things out too much. Despite those shortcomings, I do feel that with the right budget and actors, this could be a relatively decent movie.

The riffing was strong for this episode. There are plenty of good laughs to be had. Seeing Joel and TV's Frank again was quite a joy. I'm sure long time fans that first saw this episode years back were just as happy to see them again. The host segments were good, obviously. Overall, this is a good episode, though I wish Joel had riffed on the movie gaain. Ah well. 8.5/10

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So, are we now all in agreement that Christian's heel turn last year was an entirely stupid and completely idiotic idea?

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MST3K'S second season on Sci-Fi wasn't as good as their first. While the best five episodes are definite must watches for fans new and old alike, I felt that the remaining eight episodes were merely passable. Some of the others had some funny moments, but nothing that really set them apart from other great episodes. Maybe the writers were losing steam at this point?

I do like that the host segments are more standalone now than they were in Season Eight, which is really the way you're supposed to do it. The host segments might have a continuity for one episode but not over an entire season. At least they were able to go back to that formula, though the host segments could've been better.

Aside from a few episodes, don't spend much time on this season, unless you're trying to watch every movie. Then again, you may enjoy movies I didn't like, so.. Yeah.

Here are the rankings for season nine.
Hobgoblins 10/10
The Touch of Satan 10/10
Werewolf 9.5/10
The Pumaman 9/10
The Final Sacrifice 9/10
Devil Fish 7.5/10
The Projected Man 7/10
The Deadly Bees 7/10
The Space Children w/short Century 21 Calling 7/10
Gorgo 6.5/10
The Quest of the Delta Knights 6.5/10
The Screaming Skull w/short Robot Rumpus 6/10
The Phantom Planet 5.5/10

Season Seven: 8.5/10
Season Three: 8.3/10
Season Five (Joel): 8.3/10
Season Six: 8.2/10
Season Five: 8.1/10
Season Eight: 8/10
Season Five (Mike) 7.9/10
Season Seven: 7.7.10
Season Four: 7.6/10
Season Two: 7.5/10
Season One: 5.7/10

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Taggage.

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Season Nine Episode Thirteen: The Quest of the Delta Knights
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Pearl Forrester, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Mike Nelson, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy


Plot Synopsis: This action-comedy takes place in a world where the 15th century finds Europe still caught in the grip of the Dark Ages. A young boy named Tee is sold into slavery and bought by the beggar Baydool (Warner), who takes him on as an apprentice. When Baydool realizes that Tee is the subject of a prophecy, he reveals himself as one of the Delta Knights, a secret order dedicated to helping humanity. Trained by Baydool, Tee also becomes a Delta Knight and joins forces with a ne'er-do-well painter named Leonardo (from the small town of Vinci) and a tavern girl, Thena. Pursued by Lord Vultare (again, Warner), minion of the wicked Mannerjay, they set out on a quest to find the lost treasures of Archimedes

Host Segments:

Prologue: Crow gets some hail damage, so Gypsy repairs him and gives Mike and Tom an old AMC Crow as a loaner. He runs a little rich, but has a killer radio.

Segment One: Gypsy puts some seal coat on Crow, so he returns. Pearl is upset over Mike's lack of misery, so she tests the experiment by switching places: She goes into the theatre, while Mike goes down to the castle.

Segment Two: The 'bots love Pearl because she gave them a mint in the theater. She checks on the castle and finds Mike, Observer, and Bobo drinking beers. She switches places again, and the bots aren't happy to have Mike back.

Segment Three: A group of Servos perform the madrigal Air on a Delta Knight. They take control and sing a naughty song when movie sign sounds.

Segment Four: Leonardo da Vinci visits on the Hexfield to tell the crew that his portrayal in the movie is way off base. Tom keeps asking questions and he evades them; Mike has to tell Tom to stop asking what Leonardo does.

Ending Segment: The 'bots miss Pearl; Mike tries to comfort them. Down in the castle, the Delta Knights have booked it for their pancake breakfasts. That's all they do now, pancake breakfasts. They make enough money for next year's pancake breakfast.

Stinger: It's the 'I'm cominnnnnngggggg!' guy.

Review:

It's a bad start for a movie when you can't tell what the location is. Apparently, the setting is England during the Medieval period, but a young Leonardo Da Vinci, pistols, turban wearing extras, and other bits make it FAR more confusing. The filming took place at a Renaissance Fair, so I guess the mishmash of characters makes more sense then. Strange how David Warner plays two roles in this movie. I guess the producers were either too cheap to get two actors for two roles, or thought no one would notice he had two different parts (three, counting narrator.) At least we got a fair bit of fanservice in the movie. That helps, right?

The riffing isn't okay. Pearl, who is part of the first twenty minutes of the experiment, really isn't that good of a riffer as the others, and the episode suffers from it. When Mike gets back things improve, but overall the episode is sort of disappointing for a season finale. It's an alright episode with a few decent host segments, but there are far better episodes this season. 6.5/10

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Season Nine Episode Twelve: The Screaming Skull w/short Robot Rumpus
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy

Plot Synopsis (short): Gumby decides that instead of doing the house work, he'll have robots do it. Everything starts off well (AT FIRST!) but the robots go haywire. Gumby, Pokey, and Gumby's parents must stop them before it's too late.

Plot Synopsis (movie): Eric is a widower who inherited his last wife Marian's palatial country home after she died in an unfortunate and mysterious accident. Jenni is a wealthy young nervous wreck fresh out of an asylum. Oh, and there's also Mickey the gardener, he of unkempt hair and a child's mentality, who claims that Marian "cries in the night" and dislikes Jenni as an unwanted replacement. Now they're all going to spend a few days in a huge, empty mansion echoing with the ghosts of the past, with nothing to hide their emotional baggage. Clearly the childlike Mickey is the bad guy, while the obviously evil Eric is good.

Host Segments:

Prologue: Tom reveals that he has become a beautiful butterfly.

Segment One: Although he doesn't look like it anymore, Tom is still a beautiful butterfly. Meanwhile, Pearl, Brain Guy, and Bobo pull a not-so-fast one on the crew, wasting time and money in the progress.

Segment Two: Crow and Tom create their own little cartoon based on the Gumby short, only to breakdown from the pain caused by it.

Segment Three: The Bots try to scam their way into getting a free coffin. Things go south quickly and they decide not to go through it.

Segment Four: Crow disguises himself as a screaming skull to scare Mike. It works a little too well.

Ending Segment: Tom's coffin arrives and reveals that to pay for shipping, he maxed-out Mikes credit card. Later, Bobo tries to pull the same trick on Mike and the Bots from before, resulting in him getting shrunk by Brain Guy.

Stinger: Eric flings a stool at the skeleton.

Review:

IToday's episode is another in the long(?) line of short > movie. That, despite the fact that the short is only seven minutes long. I think that puts it around the contender for shortest short in MST3K history. The short is decent enough to stand on it's own, but silly enough that a few good riffs make it memorable. It's definitely the better of the two shorts shown during Season Nine.

The movie.. It's not that good. The film is weak, feels like they tried to make a psychological horror flick on a low budget, and it fails. The print of this movie is bad, and it's quite clear no one cared enough for it to keep it copyrighted, (seeing as it's public domain.) Portions of the movie appear to be chopped out (either that was due to Best Brains or just their version of this movie, I dunno.) It's a bad film, to say the least.

As I said, the best part of this episode is the short, it's got some great and memorable riffing to it, and it would hold it's own against some of the better known shorts. The movie's riffing though is not as good. There are a few decent riffs here and there, but you won't be laughing that much. Good short, weak episode, and decent host segments puts this episode slightly above average. 6/10

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I believe it. Considering the WWE has less than a third of the roster WCW had when they first went three hours permanently, I can only see MUCH longer promos, more filler, and more video packages being thrown in to fill time, instead of say, development for guys that need it, or longer wrestling matches.

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Wait hold on one minutes. Raw's going three hours?! Did no one learn ANYTHING from WCW?

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XIII/Nick
Tom
Dante
JC
Chronic
Raze
Crim

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Season Nine Episode Eleven: Devil Fish
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy


Plot Synopsis: The WOI (World Oceanic Institute) made a fish. Not just any fish, but a giant, tentacled, beaked monstrosity that ignores every other source of food in the ocean to snack on whatever humans wind up in there. For some reason, a scrawny appliance repairman named Peter is just the man to kill the fish. Or study it. Or perhaps even mate with it..It's not clear. Tagging along are an even scrawnier, Skeletor woman named Stella; a less skeletal woman named Janet, and an extremely beery British guy named Bob Hogan.

Host Segments:

Prologue: Mike has an identity crisis, thinking that some government agency has erased it; it turns out that he lost his wallet.

Segment One: Pearl has to convince a couple that the castle is a cruise ship because Bobo forgot to tell her he took 2500 reservations when their number was mistakenly put in an ad for a cruise.She left before anyone could board.. expect two early birds. She has the crew make ice sculptures: Crow uses four cubes to make Michalangelo's David; Tom puts his in a drink; and Mike tries to weld his.

Segment Two: When the crew make fun of dolphins and their intelligence, some dolphins attack them in a space ship until they apologize.

Segment Three: An electrician shows up to repair some stuff. Mike, Crow and Tom taunt him too, until the dolphins come back; seems that after this movie came out, electricians made a deal with dolphins to protect each other. Mike apologizes.

Segment Four: Because the couple don't understand what the crew does, Pearl tries to make them more Italian. It works until Bobo and Pearl mess with the filter, and it turns the crew into a dangerous stereotype.

Ending Segment: Bobo is too busy eating to hear when the couple asks about something on the ship; when Pearl whacks him on the head to get his attention, he goes nuts and she has to tranquilize him. Observer, meanwhile, does his best Issac Washington impression: he points a lot.

Stinger: Janet: 'It's right underneath us!' Bob "I knooow!"

Review:

A cheap Italian-French Jaws knockoff. That's the best description I can come up with for this cruddy movie. Well, that's the main point. There's also pointless subplots about a man killing off random women, which I'm not entirely sure has to do with anything. Hell, I'm pretty sure Blade Stonejaw had more kills than the actual Devil Fish.

The movie starts off with more random edits than you can shake a stick (or, would that be Stella?) at. It's like the director took two or three different scenes, then thought it would be hilarious if we got 30 seconds of each scene before going to the next scene. What's worse is that the last half hour or so of today's episode is more or less padding of the characters swimming around. Most bizarrely, the movie ends with everyone (or at least, the characters still alive) laugh.

The riffing goes from pretty hilarious to clever and witty, to sorta weak. Though the good outweighs the weak by a healthy margin, so you don't really need to worry about one particular weak spot. The host segments are alright, though it's what I've come to expect from the Sci-Fi Era. Good episode, but not that great. 7.5/10

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Season Nine Episode Ten: The Final Sacrifice
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy

Plot Synopsis: Ruled by the evil Satoris, an ancient cult of Canadian wrestlers, the Ziox, are bent on world domination. Instrumental to their plan is a map to the ancient Ziox cult idol, recently discovered by a young boy, Troy. When the Ziox invade his home to recover the map, he flees and ends up in the bed of a passing pickup truck, driven by Zap Rowsdower. Rowsdower and Troy become friends and together search for the lost idol before the Ziox can claim it and take over the world

Host Segments:

Prologue: Gypsy has to turn off the power, and Mike warns the bots not to loot, but they do it anyway. Crows steals his own TV and Tom gets Mike's recycling.

Segment One: Pearl tries to rule the world "One Person at a Time". She tries with her first victim, but fails. Tom is next on the list, but Pearl fails again. Brain Guy sends the movie while she thinks how to rule the world

Segment Two: Tom sings The Canada Song to try to stop Mike and Crow from making fun of Canada, but soons start making riffs for it too... and takes it too far.

Segment Three: Bobo ate a bad can of Canadian Bacon and got hockey hair. Soon, everyone gets it, except for Mike, had it already from 1982-1992.

Segment Four: Crow and Tom try to find out how to get rid of their Hockey hair, when they discover that Mike got grizzled old prospector's hair.

Ending Segment: Crow and Tom start a Cult of their own, but freak Mike out with the un-culty things they do.Meanwhile, Pearl tries a new strategy to rule the world one person at a time.

Stinger: Troy lying in front of a fire and saying " Rowsdower.

Review:

For a movie made on a budget that was about $2,500 (Canadian, at that) the movie is very memorable for a few things. Zap Rowsdower, the mullet wearing, beer swilling, truck driving ault lead, Satoris's obviously dubbed in deep voice, and most hilariously of all, Mike Pipper. Mike Pipper can be best describe as the bastard son of Dr. Teeth and Yosemite Sam (with a slab of ham for lunch and crazy eyes.) Shame Pipper's screen time is so brief, because I would have enjoyed it if he had decided to ride along for the movie. Oh wlel, e still get Canadian Tux wearing Zap Rowsdower!

The movie's plot isn't THAT bad. It just seems like the director or writers went about making it the wrong way. Considering that this was a fim student project though, I'm not really shocked that it was bad. I almost want to watch the whole movie unMSTed to see how it holds up.

The riffing is pretty great, but it would be hard to fail at riffing with such golden material. Expect lots of riffs about the drunkenly dumb Zap Rowsdower, the fact that the lead Troy looks pre-pubscent (despite being out of high school) and the fact that the mooks all look like Mexican Wrestlers... Canadian Mexican Wrestlers (So that's where El Generico got his gimmick...) Great movie. 9/10

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Season Nine Episode Nine: Gorgo
Network: Sci-Fi Network
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Dr. Bobo, and Brain Guy


Plot Synopsis: After an undersea earthquake, a baby sea monster is captured off the Irish coast. A group of irrepressible (or should it be irresponsible?) promoters put this monster (dubbed Gorgo) into a circus. . As with King Kong, flashbulbs provoke the monster, and he goes on a rampage. Shortly after this, Gorgo's mom shows up and expresses her general dislike for the British by destroying painstakingly crafted bisque models of London landmarks.

Host Segments:

Prologue: Crow's head becomes the nest for the rare Spix's macaw.

Segment One: Crow fights off weasels who want his eggs. Observer and Bobo arm wrestle, with Bobo getting the win easily. Pearl, on a trip to LA, interrupts to arm wrestling. She has met Leonard Maltin, who recommends and introduces this week's movie. The eggs are taken away by Egg Protective Services when Crow makes an omelet.

Segment Two: Because one of the people in the movie looks like Samuel Beckett, the crew presents the play Waiting for Gorgo-t.

Segment Three: The crew plays Trivial Pursuit, William Sylvester style. Mike loves it and the 'bots don't. Hell, they're not even sure WHO William Sylvester is.

Segment Four: The Nanites have a circus, which ends in tragedy when Mike pays for admission.

Ending Segment: Mike helps the Bots with their The Women of Gorgo calendar, financed by the mob. Pearl and Leonard make plans for future bad films.

Stinger: An Irish fisherman curses out our heroes.

Review:

The British version of Godzilla, or King Kong, this movie has the unfortunate problem of being a 60's British movie not starring Sean Connery. This movie is a dull affair with very little actual monster destroying England, but even that is boring.

The riffing doesn't reach the level of the Godzilla or Gamera episodes. Granted, there are some good riffs, but it's about usual with what I've expected from this season. The cameo from Leonard Maltin was a nice one, especially after they've sent a few riffs his way back in Laserblast. Good to see he was a good sport about it though. Overall, this is an alright episode, but not their best work. 6.5/10

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Season Nine Episode Eight: The Touch of Satan
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Professor Bobo, Brain Guy, and... Babysitter Steffi

Plot Synopsis: On his way to California, Jody decides on a whim to make a brief side trip to a farm, where he meets and falls in love with Melissa , the proverbial smoking hot farmer's daughter - or so it seems. In between the overlong dramatic pauses, we learn that Melissa is in fact a 120-year-old witch, and her remarkably spry "great-grandmother," Lucinda, is actually her sister, who has been pitchforking people to death in her spare time. When Lucinda murders a local policeman, things start to get very complicated for Jody.

Host Segments:

Prologue: The Bots are out caroling for Wassail, with severe financial penalties if Mike is unable to deliver said Wassail.

Segment One: Mike finds a loophole in the song in that it doesn't specify the condition of the Wassail, but their antics are interrupted when they learn that Pearl has gone on vacation and hired Steffi the babysitter to look after things. She's not quite prepared for the strangeness and threats everybody like small children much to torment of Bobo and Brian.

Segment Two: A very sweaty Mike learns that walnut ranching is harder than one would expect, while Tom has taken up pecan farming with much better results.

Segment Three: Yet again, Crow is influenced by the movie and believes he is a witch, a fact borne out of his ability to survive the test of being buried under rocks. Acting as a voice of reason, Mike points out his survival is due to his nature as a robot, but ends up making things worse when he suggests that Crow could just as easily be a frog.

Segment Four: Tom's Grandma attempts to pitchfork Mike. Tom points out that he can distinguish between his grandmothers by their desire to commit murder.

Ending Segment: Crow believes that he has sold his soul to Satan and will soon gain unworldly powers, but Mike discovers a typo - Crow has instead sold his soul to "Stan", a CPA (or Certified Public Accountant). Down in Castle Forrester, Steffi attempts to read Dr. Seuss's Green Eggs and Ham, but Brian is a little overtired and Bobo still insists on being a bad dog.

Stinger: Melissa advises Jody that the pond they are looking as is where the fish live.

Review:

Apparently the people behind this movie thought the best way to hold a conversation was to have a long pause between each line in the script. Either it was a good way to pad the film, or just bad editing. At least it wasn't as bad as Manos on that regard. The movie also has what has to be the most competent cop in MST3K history, who seems to be on the ball, not corrupt, and puts two and two nearly has the case solved. Too bad Granny thought he'd look good pitchforked.

I've seen this episode plenty of times in the past, but wow. I don't remember this episode being THIS funny. The riffing some of the best for this season, the movie is good enough to stand on it's own, but bad enough to provide hours of entertainment. The host segments are also some of the best of the season. Great episode, must watch for any fan. 10/10

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Taggage.

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Season Nine Episode Seven: Hobgoblins
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy


Plot Synopsis: Dorky loser Kevin gets a job as a security guard at an old film vault, and he is shown the ropes by superior Security Guard McCreedy. Even though McCreedy explicitly warns him not to go down a certain hallway, Kevin does it anyways. He finds a vault, opens it, and releases on the world Hobgoblins. Oh, and don't forget your two scoops of sleaze that stinks up the entire film.

Host Segments:

Prologue: Due to the Robert Palmer version of the song "I Didn't Mean To Turn You On", the MatBs have been exposed to the concept of accidental and involutary turn-ons, with even the slightest gesture being construed as a attempt to turn each other on.

Segment One: The on-turning has reached a stage of increasing malice with intentional turning on. Pearl is remodelling Castle Forrester, and her new couch has turned up early, having Brain Guy send it up to SOL for storage. However, MatBs jump up and down on it, with all manner of 'stainable liquids.' Pearl threatens them with... The Movie... that shows up in the Ark of the Covenant.

Segment Two: Due to the questionable stereotypes in the movie, Crow decides to create a film called "Let's Talk Women!", but his limited exposure to women outside of movies causes him to proclaim them to be mythical creatures. Mike reminds him of Pearl, but chokes when Crow demands that Mike name one other woman.

Segment Three: Crow sets up a 'crisis hotline' to help people who have seen the film Hobgoblins, but Bobo abuses Crow's goodwill to discuss another less savory crisis...

Segment Four: Continuing to use cardboard cut-outs, Cardboard MatBs sing a pretty catchy songs about today's movie. The real Mike and the Bots unsuccessfully try to flee, with Brain Guy spending fruitless minutes trying to point out to Pearl and Bobo the ruse.

Ending Segment: Servo is The Terminator, having traveled back in time to "take care of" Rick Sloane. Crow's film research points out he may have had opposite effect however. Pearl takes back the couch from the immature SOL crew, but the couch is no more safe from her minions either.

Stinger: The Hobgoblins ride around in a golf cart.

Review:

I remember reading somewhere that this movie was actually made as a parody of your typical goofy monster movies. Unlike other Parody Retcons, this does seem legit, since there are a few shades of silly (like when they use cartoon sound effects as normal sound effects in a few scenes.) However, since the gags and jokes aren't funny at all, and all in all this movie feels like it is quite possibly the sleaziest bit of film ever shown on MST3K.

The riffing is extremely entertaining for this movie. Lots of good riffs about the loser boyfriend, the sleaze, Mr. McCreedy, the sleaze, the goofy monster puppets, and the sleaze. A notable gag about this movie is that over the ending credits, Rick Sloane, the director of the film, shows up via cardboard. MatBs do a rather insulting interview with him, which is equally funny. The host segments enjoyable as well (with the cardboard cutout MatBs singing a song being a real highlight.) One of the better episodes of season nine, this is. 10/10

Trivia: Rick Sloane actually OFFERED the movie to Best Brains to use, and he even enjoyed the riffing to the movie.. that is until the end credits, where they mercilessly mocked him. Sloane, a fan of the series, said he hadn't seen them rip into a director before. Clearly, he never watched a Coleman Francis, Ed Wood, Bert I. Gordon, or Roger Corman flick.

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Season Nine Episode Six: The Space Children w/short Century 21 Calling
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy


Plot Synopsis (Short): An informational short featuring two overly-enthusiastic celibate teens who witness the amazing phone of the future! Marvel at the ground-breaking, state-of-the-art features such as call waiting, call conferencing, and touch-tone dialing.

Plot Synopsis (Movie): A glowing brain-like creature arrives on a beach near a rocket test site via a teleportation beam. The alien communicates telepathically with the children of scientists. The kids start doing the alien's bidding as the adults try to find out what's happening to their unruly offspring.

Host Segments:

Prologue: Servo starts a kissing booth on the SOL to raise enough money to open his own chain of kissing booths. Mike requests a "dry, perfunctory grandma kiss," but complains that it's a little too aunt-like.

Segment One: Pearl sets up a network of telephones for each person on the SOL and down in the castle so everyone can communicate more efficiently via a conference call. The resulting chaos urges Pearl to make MatBs watch the informational short Century 21 Calling... to teach them "how easy the phone of the future is!"

Segment Two: Mike gaily portrays the peppy kid in the short to an apathetic Crow and Servo. They decide to stop Mike the only way they know how: by hitting him with a wrecking ball.

Segment Three: While MatBs experiment with a model rocket, things kind of blow up in Mike's face due to a slight miscommunication. Meanwhile down in the castle, Bobo gets prepped for the first launch of Pearl's very own fledgling space program.

Segment Four: Crow forces Mike and Servo to view his new "Fashion Means Coogan" line of lingerie.

Ending Segment: The "holy blob" from the movie visits the SOL to coax Servo out of getting rid of the nuclear weapon he bought at a garage sale. Down in the castle, Pearl and Brain Guy successfully launch the rocket--without Bobo in it.

Stinger: Joe (The Professor) dead.... er, well. Acting dead. Breathing fine.

Review:

The short (The first since The Chicken of Tomorrow) sort of reminds me of Once Upon a Honeymoon, in that both sell phones, and it's not really apparent that's what the short is about until about halfway through it. Though, in the case of Once Upon a Honeymoon, you're STILL not sure if it's about telephones or not, though here it is a bit more obvious. It's weird seeing all these high tech phone ideas that becames either commonplace in the 80's or 90's, or are now obsolete to more advance technology, or both. (At one point, the male kid is seen demonstrating a beeper.)

The movie is of a plot that has been done several times. Kids start acting crazy (either due to supernatural powers or aliens or whatever) and start screwing around with the parents. It's almost amazing how quick the kids go from normal to wanting to cause harm to everyone. Shame the movie is so bad that it tends to be dull and boring. It isn't the worst movie on MST3K, though.

MatBs get plenty of mileage out of the fact that the Professor from Gilligan's Island is a drunken abusive loser in this episode. They also get more than a few riffs about the fact taht we saw Uncle Fester in shorts *shudders* There is a bit of hilarity now in 2012 as they mock the telephones "OF THE FUTURE!" from the 60's, yet here I am not fifteen years later laughing at the phone conferencing bit. Now, all of that would be done via Skype. Technology Marches On. I will say that the short is better than the movie, but it is a pretty decent episode. 7/10

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Season Nine Episode Five: The Deadly Bees
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy


Plot Synopsis: Pop singer Vicki Robbins collapses from exhaustion while shooting the 1960's equivalent of a music video, and her physician inflicts a visit to Seagull Island on her. She arrives on Seagull Island and promptly ends up in the classic and most British of scenarios: There's murder most foul. There's a bad guy who's just a little too good, and a good guy who's just a little too bad. And, of course, she's the ingenue caught in the middle of it all.

Host Segments:

Prologue: MatBs quickly go through a montage of disjointed melodramatic scenes reminiscent of of various cop dramas, soap operas and hospital dramas.

Segment One: Mike and Servo quickly explain they were just doing the previous segment for fun. Bobo and Brain Guy are watching Daytime television and eating chili dogs. Two observers (Mike Nelson and Paul Chaplin) teleport into Castle Forrester and try to retrieve Brain Guy so he can help them rebuild their planet. Though when they find out that he's turned out to be a pig, they're less than pleased.

Segment Two: Crow is enamored by the cigarette-addicted old hag from the movie and writes her a love sonnet.

Segment Three: Tom tries raising a hive of wood ticks. Brain Guy is packing for his departure from Earth. He then sings about leaving. Bobo and Pearl join in the song and convince him to stay.

Segment Four: Crow has misplaced his hair dye. Mike decides to dress as a bee and communicate using bee's body movements. Using bee wiggles he easily conveys a number of complex ideas to Tom but fails to resolve Crow's hair dye problem.

Ending Segment: The Bots agree that bees should be in every single movie and they're visited by a silent man in the bowler hat like at the very end of the movie. The Observers have a psychic battle. Bobo and Brain Guy are able to take their brains away and then Brain Guy condemns the two observers to live out the rest of their lives in Wisconsin as raging Packers fans. The man in the bowler hat makes a final appearance.

Stinger: The dog's meat, have you seen it?"

Review:

The plot is rather confusing. The supposed bad guy is actually innocent the entire time, while the male lead that we thought was good is actually evil. It doesn't make ANY sense at all, mostly because they switched who was bad and good from the short story to movie. Also, it doesn't help that nothing happens at all during the movie. What is this, the third British movie that has very little happen and is very dull? I think so.

The riffing was surprisingly average. There were some decent riffs here and there, but for the most part I just had to watch the movie with mild indifference. Truly, the best riffing was at the very end when the detective from the beginning finally shows up.. after everything has been resolved. The host segments between Brain Guy vs. Observers was pretty funny, though again. Packer bashing? Poor call, Best Brains. Eh, It was an alright episode. 7/10

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Season Nine Episode Four: Werewolf
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy


Plot Synopsis: A team of archaeologists unearth a skeleton at a dig in an Arizona quarry. The Native Americans on the dig instantly recognize it as the remains of a werewolf, so the team leaders immediately take it to their lab. Yuri siezes on greater ambitions when one of the dig assistants, who injured himself on the remains, becomes infected and turns into a werewolf in full view of hospital personnel. Yuri then conducts an experiment to infect other people in town to see if they turn into werewolves as well. When Paul arrives at the lab to assist in analyzing the remains, Yuri infects him, too. After Paul's transformation, Natalie tries to save him.

Host Segments:

Prologue: After a fall, Mike thinks that he's James Lipton and interviews Crow, thinking the latter is Ray Liotta and interviews him about his film career.

Segment One: Crow hits Mike with a clown hammer, restoring him to his senses. Mike attempts to affect an escape, but accidentally lands in Castle Forrester. Mike decides to give up after Brain Guy produces a cannon and points it at him.

Segment Two: MatBs speculate over whom they would cast in their werewolf movies, using famous celebrity relatives (including Spike Knotts and Chip Hitler) as characters. All Crow can come up with is Ray Liotta.

Segment Three: Mike and the Bots dress up as a '60s girl group and sing "Where, O Werewolf", about "Cindy" (Mike)'s doomed relationship with her werewolf boyfriend.

Segment Four: Mike cuts himself on Crow's head and begins turning into a Werecrow. Servo is horrified, but Crow warms to the idea and tells Mike what to expect from his transformation.

Ending Segment: Mike is even further along in his transformation, but Servo comes up with an antidote. Unfortunately, Servo is now transforming into a Weremike. At Castle Forrester, Pearl attempts to create her own werewolf, but Bobo produces a cocker spaniel instead.

Stinger: Natalie's flat emotionless delivery of the line "This is absolutely fascinating."

Review:

The recent movies shown on MST3K, Werewolf is a relatively poor B-Movie that has a nonsensical plot, bad Non-English speaking actors (speaking English throughout the movie), a full moon every night, and.. Joe Estavez. This is the third movie to deal with werewolves (After Season One's Mad Monster and Eight's I Was a Teenage Werewolf). As a movie, it seems it asks a lot of it's audience. It assumes the audience not only be dumb enough not to recoginze when someone drives by the same gas station five times (in the span of three minutes) but also assumes the audience doesn't know when a full moon happens. That's asking a lot, isn't it?

The riffing was very enjoyable during this movie, with plenty of riffs thrown at the incosistent werewolf costume, not sure if Joe Estavez is even supposed to be in this movie (and him just disappearing after the first twenty minutes) and how Natalie's terrible English makes for some awesome riffs over how badly she pronounces some words. The host segments are vary from relatively funny (Mike turning to Were-Crow, Mike trying to escape the SoL) to kinda dull (Mike as James Lipton.) Overall I'd say this is one of the better episodes of Season Nine. 9.5/10

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