Lurker > Chronic1000

Season Six Episode Three: The Dead Talk Back w/short The Selling Wizard
Network: Comedy Central
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank


Plot Synopsis (Short): A promotional film for grocery-store freezer cases, brought to you by Anheuser-Busch.

Plot Synopsis (Movie): A scientist experiments in talking to the dead while someone is murdered in the boarding house he lives in. Two detectives question the occupants until the killer is found out by having the scientist trick him with his experiment.

Host Segments:

Prologue: Gypsy’s fire drill makes clear the fact that, in space, there’s nowhere to go when there’s a fire.

Segment One: Mike is apparently jealous of Servo and Crow's firemen helmets. Dr. Forrester attempts a pinpoint marketing campaign with Nelson cigarettes. Mike is not interested in smoking, but disturbingly everyone else is.

Segment Two: The Bots put on a radio talk show, "The Dead Talk Back". They communicate with the dead (Abe from Illinois and Mr. Churchill from England). Much to Mike’s chagrin, the dead guys only want to chat about football.

Segment Three: Based on a loose association with the title of the film, MatBs are "The Dead"; Crow starts an hour-long guitar solo a la Jerry Garcia, and doesn't seem at all bothered by the interruption of Movie Sign.

Segment Four: Dr. Forrester interrogates Frank, who proceeds to confess to everything, including killing that fat barkeep and eating all the Frusen Glädjé. Crow continues his guitar solo.

Ending Segment: Crow is still playing the guitar. Gypsy starts another fire drill. Mike reads a letter midst the noise and chaos, ultimately screaming "Simon, Theodore, Allllllllviiiin!" Dr. Forrester practices his archery skills - on Frank, of course.

Stinger: A woman screams after seeing Renee's dead body.


Review:

he short, while a little strange, doesn't fall anywhere near the level of unintentional hilarity of something like Hired!, Mr. B Natural, or Last Clear Chance. Sure, there's a few good riffs, but overall it falls short (no pun later.)

The movie is also relatively weak. It sort of reminded me of Monster A-Go Go in terms of overall quality, though it actually had SOME continuity going for it, and the cast didn't get replaced twenty minutes in. Still, it was a strange little movie that had only a few token one liners.

Another thing to note is the host segments. Last season, the host segments tended to be extremely hilarious. So far, the host segments for this season have been either average or worse in terms of hilarity. They're not Season One bad, but I do question why we had three straight segments where Crow played a guitar. Yeah it was funny, and was supposed to be an overly long gag, but it just didn't work.

Overall, I'd say the quality of the riffs plus the weak short/movie/host segments makes for a somewhat average episode. It's got a few laughs here and there, but overall I wouldn't recommend to anyone. 5/10


Favorite Riffs (short):


*While reading the opening title*

Crow: Hi, my name is Merlin, and I would LOVE to see you in this Camero.


*A faceless suit pops out of nowhere*

Narrator: You, the ice cream manufactorer.

Crow: Up against the wall! Spread'em!


Narrator: You can't sell in volume if the frozen product isn't easily identified, attractively displayed, or within buying reach.

Mike: Don't tell me what I can't do- who is this guy?!

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GP2: NioraptH

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Favorite Riffs (Movie):


*The bartender and a few patrons are tired of the war talk, so the bartender decides to get rid of the new anchor reporting on it.*

Tim the Bartender: That'll hold you!

*We cut to the TV screen, where the TV's simply on mute*

Servo (as Newscaster): I'm still here, barkeep!


*Reporter Vince Potter is asking several of the patrons what they thing about a universal draft. He asks Mr. Ohman, a mysterious fellow what he wants, where he monologues for a bit*

Ohman: Everyone wants a strong America, and we want the same man to pay for it. George. Let George pay for it.

Sylvester: Aha. Not everyone wants George to pay for it.

Ohman: Are you the exception?

Sylvester: No, I'm George!

Crow (as Ohman): I like you. I'll kill you last.

Ohman: A very good joke, but wars are not won by making jokes.

Mike: Every party needs a pooper.


*We see "The Enemy" landing in Alasaka via parachutes*

Mike: You know, this is how my mom dropped me off at school every day.


*After a few bombs are dropped on military bases, the President gets on National TV, or at least, is supposed to. He's facing the wrong way*

Crow: Sir, we're over here!


*Stock footage of some planes about to attack something*

Crow: You know this fo-miph,comph-moviemf. (botched line, still funny)


*After all the stock footage, we see the President talking again*

President: I do call upon all Americans

Crow (as President): To reject stock footage!


*After a reporter's footage is crushed midsentence (using microwaves to broadcast the system*

Crow: Try switching to radar!


*No sooner does the broadcast about the invasion end, a paper boy literally walks on set, screaming America is invaded, then.. exits stage right.*

Mike (while laughing): Now that's a walk on!

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Favorite Riffs (Short):


*We get a shot of two siblings*

Narrator: This boy and girl coming home from school look quite content with life. And why not?

Crow: They're high!


*Brother goes and answers the phone*

Narrator: He won't spend a lot of time on the phone.

Mike: He's mute.


*Sister walks in to talk to her Mother*

Mike (as Sister): Hi mom, I'm pregnant.

Narrator: Is it that late? Dad will be here any moment. Mother goes to the kitchen.

Servo: Where the postman eagerly awaits.


*Brother walks into the hallway, and walks right into Junior*

Narrator (as Brother): Hello there.

Servo (as Narrator): Who are you?

Narrator: Junior is always in a hurry, particularly for dinner. But first there is a cleanup job to do on this young man.

Crow: Brother runs a boy cleaning service on the side.


*The brothers go in their room*

Narrator: Brother takes it upon himself to help share Junior's responsibility for keeping their room in good order, and keeping Junior in good order, too.

Mike (as Narrator): Brother has a strong psychological grip on Junior.


*The family gathers around to enter dinner*

Narrator: Brother seats mother like he would his best girl.

Mike: The less said about this, the better.

Servo: Yeah...

Crow: Junior seats dad, and sister seats the dog, and the dog...


Narrator: No one starts eating until father has served himself.

Mike (as Narrator): This means you!

Narrator: Always wait for the hostess, in this case mother, to begin eating before you start.

Mike: Father feigns eating, draws Junior out, and disowns him!


*Brother takes a bite of food and makes an 'ok' sign*

Servo: This stinks!


*Narrator goes over some points about what not to do on "this date" as Sister rambles on*

Narrator: Don't monopolize the conversation and go on and on without stopping. Nothing destroys the charm of the meal more quickly.

Mike: Than having a personality!

Narrator: To say the rest of the family is bored is a gross understatement.

Servo (as Father): Mother do something!

Crow (as Father): At least I have two sons...


*The two sons starts discussing a fight*

Narrator: Don't discuss unpleasant topics such as gruesome sights and sounds. This is a time of pleasure and charm, remember?

Mike (as Father): I have no son!

Narrator: Don't make unkind comparrisons about your way of living. The dinnertable is no place for discontent. It makes dad and mother unhappy and uncomfortable.

Crow: They hate you enough as is.

Mike (as Father): Well. There it is. Spankings all around, then.

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Season Six Episode Two: Invasion USA w/short A Date With Your Family
Network: Comedy Central
Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank


Plot Synopsis (short): The short covers the basics for how to ensure you and your family have a pleasant and formal 1950's style family dinner. In other words, how to best repress your emotions and ensure a hollow and lifeless social interaction.

Plot Synopsis (movie): News of Cold War tensions on the TV, a reporter comes in to ask the patrons of a local watering hole if they support allowing the U.S. government to take over companies in the name of the cold war effort. Most of the patrons are skeptical except for a strange man nursing a wine glass at the end of the bar . After mesmerizing his audience with his speech before leaving, the patrons quickly discover that the U.S. is now in the middle of World War III, as the "Enemy" conducts an audacious plan to invade the North American mainland, with both nukes and paratroopers flying freely. The main characters try to do what they can, but somehow every request of the military-industrial complex that they'd been complaining about or ignoring comes back to bite the U.S. at the worst possible time, and the cast starts dropping like flies before the Red onslaught.


Host Segments:

Prologue: Channeling his predecessor, Mike builds a robot. The Bots marvel over it, but alas its sole objective is destruction.

Segment One: Mike promises the Bots he won't build anymore robots. Dr. Forrester decides it's science project time, and so Crow must choose between a soft, cuddly Dr. Forrester doll or a stark wire robot mother. TV's Frank is the control group, and is dressed as a pincushion.

Segment Two: Inspired by the short, MatBs presents their own stilted and awkward "family date". It ends in chaos when Gypsy points out how boring things are.

Segment Three: Tom tricks Crow into giving a ridiculously detailed lecture, comparing and contrasting the two actresses who played Lois Lane on the 1950’s TV series The Adventures of Superman.

Segment Four: A game of Jenga is interrupted by a visit from "A. Bomb" on the Hexfield. He’s kinda bummed about the trend toward nuclear disarmament, but Mike cheers him up, which might not be a good thing.

Ending Segment: Tom is convinced that life is but a dream. He insists that Mike hit him with a huge clown hammer. Mike reads a letter from a little girl who tells them, "You’re not missing much on Earth!" On patrol in Deep 13, Frank (thinking he's a US Soldier) points a gun at Dr. Forrester and asks "Who won the World Series?" Dr. Forrester replies, "I did." Befuddled, Frank says, "D’okay".

Stinger: "Extra! Paper! America invaded! Read all about it!"


Review:

The short is undoubtedly one of my favorites of the entire series. It's like taking a glimpse at what the average 50's nuclear family was supposed to be like, and realizing that there is NO way people lived like that. The entire short is almost quotable word for riff. I'd very highly recommend that you watch it.

The movie on the other hand, is okay. It does suffer from the fact that it has more stock footage of World War II than Invasion of the Neptune Men, minus the Hitler Building, of course. Believe me when I say the short is the real highlight of this episode. The movie is funny, and the host segments are pretty good, but the short is the true highlight here. 8/10

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So far, nothing.

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+10 RPGLord95 / Whiskey_Nick
+9 BIGPUN9999
+8 NioraptH
+7 CommodoreTN
+6 XIII_rocks
+5 Ed Bellis
+4 Sir Chris
+3 AlecTrevelyan006
+2 Cokes
+1 WiggumFan267

GP: RPGLord95 / Whiskey_Nick

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Favorite Riffs (cont.):


*Reading the credits, which has Harold Lloyd Jr. and Charles Chaplin Jr.*

Crow: Along with Fatty Arbuckle Jr., Larry Fine Jr., and Sammy Davis Jr. Jr.!


*Frank is knocking on Silver's door, suddenly an old woman sticks her head and starts rambling. It looks as though she has dreadlocks*

Old Woman: Who's knocking on that door?!

Servo (while laughing): It's Bob Marley!


*On Mel Torme*

Mike: He's like a youthful Jabba The Hutt.


*Mother Superior Veronica exits a car and prepares to walk into a police station*

Veronica: Wait for me, sister.

Crow (as Veronica): If you hear any shooting, drive around the corner and get ready to gun it.

Mike: She has a Mother Superiority complex


*Serafina has been stalking Jimmy, a singer with a few hits. Mother Veronica tries to convince her that she's not truly in love with Jimmy*

Jimmy: You do as Mother Veronica tells you, alright?

Serafina: Yes, yes I will!

Mike (as Serafina): That means we're married now, right?


*Same scene*

Serafina: Does that mean you're tell the other girls we're not friends?

Jimmy: We've been friends for years.

Servo: Yeah, that's healthy.


*Chips father, talks to the Police Chief that was handling the Stefania situation. Silver comes in*

Chip's Father: I don't see what my son saw in you...

Crow (as Silver): Do THESE explain anything?


*Silver and Mother Veronica wander around the Girls Town building*

Silver: Who's that?

Crow: Some guy, he's supposed to be good for you.

Veronia: Saint Jude, the patron saint of good causes. If there's something you want that seems impossible, he can supercede for you.

Silver: I stopped believing in Santa Claus years ago.

Crow: No Lupita!


*Mother Veronia introduces Serafina and Silver*

Crow: Hi. I love you. Are we married now?


*We get a shot of two nuns sitting on a couch*

Crow (as Nun #1): Catch the game last night?

Servo (as Nun #2): I sure did. I lost fifty bucks!

Crow (Nun 1): But you had the point spread.

Servo (Nun 2): Oh, Aikman slips out of the pocket and he's a cupcake.

Crow (Nun 1): Aikman can go to... places.


*Fred is munching on a burger at a local diner, and sees Silver in the car with a detective that Chip's dad hired to get a confession out of her. Between the cars is another car with a man with a thin mustache in it*

Crow: It's John Waters!


*Jimmy comes to Girls Town to sing for them like he promised Serafina. However, he decides to dance with another woman, which angers Serafina*

Mike (as Serafina): How can you dance with another woman on our honeymoon?!


*We got a drag race between Silver's boyfriend, and Fred. Silver's Boyfriend dies in a wreck. Dick Contino, who played Silver's boyfriend, is famous for another MST3K episode*

Servo: So, who'll play Daddy-O now?


*Jimmy and Silver share a scene about Serafina. Jimmy acts like he had a tough time growing up, even though Jimmy's actor really doesn't portray it well*

Mike (as Jimmy): You see, I have a lot of "the street" in me...


*We get a shot of a shoreline*

Servo: Tom Stewart killed me!

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Season Six Episode One: Girls Town
Network: Comedy Central
Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank



Plot Synopsis: In 1959. Chip, a member of the "Jags" gang/car club, plummets to his implausible death in a shallow ditch while attempting to rape gang floozy Mary Lee Morgan. Double-chinned, pushy, loathsome 34-year-old "teen" and fellow Jag Frank (Mel Torme), mistakenly blames Mary Lee's sister Silver Morgan (Mamie Van Doren) for Chip's death.


Host Segments:

Prologue: Mike ant the BOts prepares for Dr. Forrester's big announcement. Mike is wearing his tuxedo jumper, and Crow has gotten The Power Steves, a less-than-enthusastic polka band.

Segment One: Dr. Forrester unveils the Umbilicus with a pompous speech, as TV's Frank tries not to go to sleep. Gypsy is part of the link and she is less than enthusiastic about it.

Segment Two: Tom "scats" like Mel Tormé until Mike and Crow have had enough. It doesn't take long, and so Mike and Crow begin a long system of containment to end the scatting, which ends before it can be enacted when commercial sign hits.

Segment Three: While Mike explains the honor system to Crow, Tom scarfs down all the honor system candy. He looks rather grotesque when he is finished.

Segment Four: The crew discusses how fads alter the idea of the perfect woman’s figure. They decide to design their own perfect woman of the future. Wings, Mexican tiles, huge eyelids, and power take-off are part what go into their design.

Ending Segment: MatBs joyfully send a cream pie down Gypsy's mouth so it can surprise Dr. F when the Umbilicus finally works the way its supposed to.

Stinger: "You tell that boy to go home right now, or I’ll call the police!"


Review:

A 1950's teen exploitation film, with Mamie Van Doren displaying her talent... and acting chops! All kidding aside, this movie isn't actually all terrible. The plot is something interesting and unique, but the acting and cruddy writing kinda ruin it. If the movie had far better writing, or if the actors were much better, this probably would've been saved from MST3K. Ah well.

The riffing was very good for the season premiere. It might be the fact that the show was on thin ice with Comedy Central and they were trying to start off strong? I dunno. The host segments were okay, though I have seen better on the show. The umbilicus plot was a sort of strange, since it brings up further questions about how on Earth the movie got sent up to the Satellite of Love. All in all, great start to the sixth season. 9.5/10

Favorite Riffs:


*Chip is struggling with Marry Lee, and is hanging off the side of a cliff*\

Mike: Right now, the guy's replaying the date in his head. 'Where did I go wrong?'


*Singing to the opening credits*

Crow: Chip is dead, he plummeted to his death!

Singer: Listen to me girl, watch your P's and Q's or you'll have the girl's town blues!

All: Chip is dead. Chip is dead Chip is dead. Chip is dead...

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MARIO IMMUNE:
KingBartz

LUIGI IMMUNE:
Tom Bombadil

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I remember them informing the audience that they were going to switch to another network to play the final match of the PPV. It might not have been CNN, but ESPN at least.

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Right. Forgot that Halloween Havoc '98 is remembered for more than one thing >_>.

Basically, they don't want the PPV to go over the time limit, since PPV providers only provide a certain amount of time for the show. If it goes over, then the feed gets cut off, and we are stuck not knowing what happened.

Though now that I think about it, didn't WCW actually broadcast the Goldberg/DDP match on ESPN or CNN right after the PPV was cut off? I seem to recall actually watching that match on that channel.

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I can understand the time constraint cautions. They don't want a Halloween Havoc '98 situation on their hands.

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Bumpage.

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Bumpage.

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BOOT:
Dante

IMMUNE:
Tom Bombadil

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Season Five is done and over with now. How did Mike's episodes stand up? I enjoyed most of his episodes as much as (or more) than some of Joel's episodes, but it was clear to me that, early on at least, Mike needed a few episodes to get into the role. The riffing for a few of his first episodes wasn't particularly strong, but when he was on cue, we usually ended up with a great episode. The host segments are also of note here, as I feel Season Five has some of the best host segments you'll find in the entire series. The riffing was also better than the previous season.

Unfortunately for the show, things between Best Brains Inc. and Comedy Central began to tense up during this time. Ratings were dipping, and Comedy Central began to do increasingly more things to MST3K. They ran voiceovers over the ending credits (which irked fans when it interfered with gags that carried over the ending credits). Comedy Central wanted to squeeze the show down to an hour long, which resulted into the creation of the Mystery Science Theater Hour. Another problem came to the annual Turkey Day Special (where MST3K episodes aired over a full 24 hour period nonstop) when Comedy Central offered Best Brains a miniscule budget to make Turkey Day Segments. Best Brains refused and forced Comedy Central to make their own.

Despite all these problem (and more I haven't discussed) Comedy Central agreed to one more 24 episode season, which would also be MST3K's final season that long.

Here are the rankings for season five (Mike):
1st. Outlaw of Gor 10/10
2nd. Santa Claus 9.5/10
3rd. Beginning of the End 9/10
4th. The Brain That Wouldn't Die 8.5/10
T-5th Teen-age Strangler w/short Is This Love? 8/10
T-5th. Radar Secret Service.w/short Last Clear Chance 8/10
T-5th. Teen-Age Crime Wave 8/10
T-5th. 12 To The Moon w/short Design for Dreaming 8/10
T-9th. The Atomic Brain w/short What About Juvenile Delinquency 7.5/10
T-9th. Village of the Giants 7.5/10
11th. The Wild Wild World of Batwoman w/ short Cheating 7/10
12th. Alien from L.A.4.5/10

Season Averages:

T-1st. Season Three: 8.3/10
T-1st. Season Five (Joel): 8.3/10
3rd. Season Five: 8.1/10
4th. Season Five (Mike) 7.9/10
5th. Season Four: 7.6/10
6th. Season Two: 7.5/10
7th. Season One: 5.7/10


I'll be back Monday with the first episode of Season Six.

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So I just had a random thought. When was the last time Raw was preempted and either had to air later on at night, a different night, or they just didn't air an episode that week and went straight until the next week?

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I noticed that.

What I don't understand is how can Zack Ryder of all people not adhere to the Broskis before Hoskis rule?

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Well, that was different.

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New Z! True Long Island Story Up.

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Favorite Riffs (short):


*Woman of the future is dreaming of owning a new car. She transports herself into a car on display in a showroom*

Servo: Security to showroom please.


*A woman is showing off some of the "futuristic" appliances.*

Crow: Just because it's futuristic doesn't mean it's practical.


*The woman goes behind a statue or block of wood or something, and comes out the other side wearing powder blue clothes and has a tennis racket*

Crow: Oh no, it's a salute to Mr. B Natural!


*The woman goes behind the statue/block of wood several more times, and is wearing a large sunhat*

Mike: I wonder what Freud will say about that sunhat.

Crow: Sometimes, a sunhat is just a sunhat.


*As the woman drives off with a man, they keep singing all opera like*

Mike: Someone please invent Rock 'N Roll.


Favorite Riffs (movie):


*Some old guy is announcing something big for the International Space Organization*

Servo: Yeah, I'm Cliff Beefpile.

Old Guy: At this moment...

Crow (as Old Guy): I may die.

Old Guy: Over two billion people...

Servo (as Old Guy): Have been served.


*We get introduced to all the crew. We see the lantern jaw of justice hero American John Anderson*

Old Guy: He will helm this project.

Mike (as Anderson): What's going on around here? Any of you Euro-freaks speak English?


*Anderson stares at a clock, and fiddles with it*

Crow (as Anderson): I'm gonna set this to central stud time cause I'm Sledge Riprock!


*One of the astronauts does the cross things before liftoff*

Mike: Wait, I'm Jewish!


*After landing on the moon, Anderson is dialoguing about something.. slightly impossible*

Anderson: Now I'm turning on my invisble electromagnetic screen.

Mike (as Anderson): Even I don't buy it.

Anderson: Which forms a protect shield over our faces.

Servo: Of course it does.


*Anderson and one of the other crewmen are out in space now*

Crow (as Anderson, gasping for air): Why did I believe the invisible thing?!


*All the scientists on the moon stare at something underneath some rocks*

Crow: It's a Sampo!



*The Many Names of John Anderson*

Cliff Beefpile
Sledge Riprock
Tank Concrete
Bronc Drywall
Stump Hugelarge
Chunk Pylon
Chunk Manmusk.
Ron Codpiece
Sledge Fisthammer.
Clint Stompheader.
Chuck Hardslab
Chunk Ironchest

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Season Five Episode Twenty-Four: 12 To The Moon w/short Design for Dreaming
Network: Comedy Central
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank


Plot Synopsis (short): In this musical short, a woman dreams of a mysterious masked man who takes her to see the future... as represented by the 1956 General Motors Motorama.

Plot Synopsis (movie): An international team embarks on an expedition to the moon in an uncommonly spacious rocketship. There they encounter a faceless alien intelligence who concludes that the human race is too immature and dangerous and must be destroyed.

Host Segments:

Prologue: The Bots make fun of Mike for being forced to attend Gypsy's tea party. He inadvertently reveals that he knows less about Designing Women than Gypsy thinks he does.

Segment One: Frank hosts a roast to Dr. Forrrester until his "jokes" begin to fall flat, and Dr. F retaliates with repeated blows to the stomach. MatBs has its first ever Celebrity Open. When Gypsy calls him out of bounds, Tom has a tennis tantrum a la John McEnroe.

Segment Two: The gang is in the middle of playing international astronauts when Nuveena from the short pops in on the SOL. Her singing and dancing is greeted with fear and trepidation.

Segment Three: The crew packs to leave with Nuveena. The Bots observe she sings and dances a lot. Gypsy is not entirely optimistic about moving, while Tom wants to blow the SOL up when they leave.

Segment Four: Nuveena makes Crow into a blender, Gypsy into an oven, and Tom into a pressure cooker. In her world, robots are nothing more than slaves and appliances, and so Mike chooses the Bots over her and tells her to leave.

Ending Segment: Mike consoles himself over the loss of Nuveena with cookie dough and reads some letters to make himself feel better. In Deep 13, Nuveena makes one last appearance to dance with Frank.

Stinger: Heinrich says, "Ahh, ridiculous!"


Review:


There have been quite a few bizarre shorts shown on MST3K throughout the course of it's run, but that short... while very weird, barely cracks the nightmare fuel and insanity of say, Mr. B Natural or Case of Spring Fever. It's a weird short, for sure.

The movie was quite similar to most other sci-fi/space movies shown on MST3K. Really, it's hard to differentiate this movie from say, Rocketship XM when both movies use the exact same effects. The only real notable thing about the movie is the David Ryder-esque nicknaming of the main character, even though the names here aren't as memorable as Roll FIzzlebeef or Big McLargeHuge.


The riffing was pretty good with a few good chuckles here and there, though nothing that you'd remember the next day. The host segments were really great though, as Mike and Nuveena singing to each other. Overall, this is a good episode, though not the best of season finales. 8/10

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BOOT:
Cokes

IMMUNE:
Ed Bellis

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Hey, I was a day off.

Looks like Thursdays might be the new update day. Maybe.

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BOOTS:
WiggumFan267
MrSmartGuy

IMMUNES:
RPGLord95 / Whiskey_Nick
NioraptH

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Favorite Riffs:

*After the opening credits, we see a car wreck. A bunch of teenagers jump out of the wrecked car and have a party*

Mike: Never was a car crash celebrated so well.


*Also during the random dance scene*

Crow: Mike, do you think this scene is establishing characterization and providing narrative?

Mike: No, but who cares?


*We see a couple of teens (Mike and Nancy) making out on a couch*

Crow: This is Tommy Kirk REALLY acting.


*Genius interupts the makeout couple, but after he leaves, we' hear an explosion*

Mike (as Genius): Aunt Bee! I can't feel my legs!


*Mike and Nancy check up on Genius*

Nancy: Are you alright?

Servo (as Genius): Suddenly, I wanna direct.


*We get a random musical number with the Beau Bummels. During the song, the two large ducks run amuck*

Guy: Where did those ducks come from?!

Crow: The turtle Gamera won't be far behind!


*While the ducks are dancing to the music.. in a crowded club*

Servo: As intune Bert I. was in the 50's, he just didn't get the 60's.


*After the dance number, we cut to a very large duck body being roasted over a fire. It's being cooked by the same kids that were dancing with the ducks earlier*

Crow: It's fun to kill things!


*A kid is snooping around Genius' lab. There's a gumball machine on one of the tables*

Servo: MOM?! Oh, mom.. mother...


*After the kid finds the goop that makes creatures grow, he goes back to the gumball machine*

Servo: Do-don't you touch her! She can't be bought out for pocket change.

*Kid puts a coin in and gets a gumball*

Servo: Mom! I can't believe you put out for a nickel! I have no mother...


*Fred and his crew has the goop. One of them give him a knife when he asks for one*

Mike: I'm gonna moon you, man!


*After taking the growth stuff, they all grow larger, and lose their clothes. One of the kids grins, then looks down*

Mike (as kid): This is great... d'oh! I didn't grow proportionally!


*Genius is trying to make a new goop formula*

Crow: He tampered in God's domain.


*The giant teenagers dance around*

Crow: You could stick your head in her navel!

Mike: Don't think I haven't thought of it.


*Same scene*

Servo: Glenn Manning wasn't this much fun.


*After the giants try to take over the town, Genius makes a serum to make them shrink back to normal, they just sort of.. wander off at the end of the movie*

Servo: That's it? Not much of a payoff. We waited all this time for THAT?

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Not only was he a writer, but he was the puppeteer for Crow in Seasons 8-10. Not to mention the Brain Guy during that same period. Nice find!

Season Five Episode Twenty-Three: Village of the Giants
Network: Comedy Central
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank


Plot Synopsis: A kid named Genius (Ron Howard) accidentally invents a substance that causes all animal life to grow. Genius's sister Nancy and her boyfriend Mike (Tommy Kirk) see the money-making potential in the substance (dubbed "Goo") and plan to sell it to help solve the world's food problem. Unfortunately, a greedy young opportunist and the group of delinquents he hangs around with decide to steal the Goo and use it for their own purposes. They soon change their minds and decide to eat the Goo themselves. They grow to gigantic proportions and temporarily take over the town.

Host Segments:

Prologue: MatBs do their quarterly workout. As Mike says, "If you can't take 30 minutes out of every year, you don't deserve a hot date!"

Segment One: MatBs put all sorts of strange items into a juicer before contacting the Mads. Dr. Forrester makes the announcement that they're making cutbacks down in Deep 13, and orders TV's Frank to fire...TV's Frank!? Yep, Frank's been given the ol' heave-ho.

Segment Two: Now that he's fired, Frank lounges around Deep 13 in his underwear, watching TV. Meanwhile, Dr. F. interviews Torgo, the former servant of the Master and former pizza delivery man, and hires him. Dr. F tells him no theme music. Torgo isn't sure what he's talking about.

Segment Three: Frank's taken up refuge in the storage closet in Deep 13 to keep Dr. F. from kicking him out. MatBs pretend to interview Frank so he’ll be eligible for unemployment benefits.

Segment Four: Frank's got his stuff packed, and is ready to go, but not before bidding MatBs adieu. The SOL crew is not that heartless, and sing a song to the former aide, titled "The Greatest Frank of Them All" (alongside a montage of clips of Frank put together by Cambot). The song energizes Frank, and so begins his plans to oust Torgo.

Ending Segment: As Mike and the Bots go through letters supporting Frank, Frank talks to Torgo, telling the goat-legged fellow that he won fair and square, and gives him some advice that will "make Dr Forrester really happy". Of course, Frank's underhanded scheme gets Torgo ejected, and Frank has his job back - though of course, the little stunt he pulled means that Dr Forrester is going to have to kill him now.

Stinger: A tribute to the late, great Frank Zappa.


Review:

The eighth and final movie of Mr. Bert I. Gordon shown on MST3K. Unlike his other films, it isn't a scary giant monster movie. Rather, this is more along the lines Bert I. adding gratuitous fanservice shots for the sake of it. Why else would there be two shots of women growing out of their clothes? Not only that, but the ending is really anti-climatic.

The riffing on this film was pretty decent, though nothing too hilarious. The real highlight of today's film is the host segments. Dr. Forrester firing Frank and hiring Torgo has to be some of the best host segments they ever produced. I nearly died laughing when Dr. F, instead of waiting for Torgo shuffle his way to the interview section, gets up and just pushes him to it (which in effect makes his theme music double in speed.) Overall, this is a pretty good episode with some good riffs, but the real highlight are the host segments. 7.5/10

--
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Postage.

--
http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/61035294 - My MST3K Watchthrough topic.

BOOTS:
AlecTrevelyan006
Cokes

IMMUNES:
KingBartz
Procrastinater

--
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Favorite Riffs:


*While reading the opening scroll, which says 'One of the greatest and fastest growing plagues of our complex social system is the rise of...*

Mike: Oh! Okay, it's about plaque and tooth decay

Crow: Meanwhile, Darth Vader and his relentless search for Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia to the ice Planet Hoth, where they'll..

Mike: Excuse me, are you done?

Crow: Er, yes.


*Still reading the opening credits, which says Teenage Youths*

Servo: Teenage youths? As opposed to teenage elderly?


*The opening scroll goes to the next paragraph*

Mike: We gotta read the whole movie?!

Servo: Oh brother.

Crow: They said they were gonna make this book into a movie, but this is so.. hahah.


*An old doughy guy named Freddy starts hitting on a younger woman, Terry. When he finds out her date stood her up, he starts making advances*

Freddy: I got a car up the street and I know just the perfect place for a girl like you.

Crow: The backseat.


*After Jane and Terry are convicted of crimes, they are sent to industrial school. The very first thing we see? A bunch of young women clothed in only towels! Old Lady Agnus is giving exposition*

Agnus: Now this is the shower room.

Crow: Now the movie begins!

Agnus: It'll clean the dirt on the outside, even if it doesn't get to the dirt inside.

Mike: Robin Williams is Mrs. Brubaker.


*Jane and Terry start fighting, and the old lady saves Jane from when Terry has a pillow over her head*

Crow (as Agnus): Let me show you for crying out loud!

Mike: Here comes the floppy arm of the law!


*The film's Mike decides to break Jane and Terry away from their police escort. He shoots the cop driver. Jane screams*

Mike: He's got an odd scream.


*Mike decides to hole up in a barn, and drives his vehicle off the road*

Terry: How are we going to get away without a car?

Servo (as Mike):D'h! Damn! Stupid! Dumb, dumb.


*The trio are walking to the farm*

Servo: Good idea to drop the car in a gulley 70 miles from where we wanted to go.


*Terry and Mike (along with Jane) hold hostage the old farming couple Tom and Sarah. Terry gives them a warning that they shouldn't call the cops*

Terry: That goes for you too, little flower. You're just as much in this as we are.

Jane: I saw Mike kill a man. I'll be a witness to it if I ever get the chance.

Mike (as Terry): Oh right, we should kill you then.


*The cops find the vehicle Mike threw into a gulley*

Crow: Why don't they look? Tell me, why don't they look?


*Tom and Sarah's neighbor Bill shows up to the house. Bill is talking to Ben, Tom and Sarah's son*

Crow (as Tom): Hostage!

Mike (as Bill): Pasta?

Crow as Tom): Hostage!

Mike (as Bill): Sausage?


*Bill stays for a few seconds, but then starts to leave, only to see severalcigarette butts on the floor*

Mike (as Bill): My god. Did you have Rod Sterling over for dinner?


*After Mike kills Bill, Terry is upset that he killed him. Mike hits her*

Mike: Aw. I don't like this guy anymore. He's crossed the line.

--
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Season Five Episode Twenty-Two: Teen-Age Crime Wave
Network: Comedy Central
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank


Plot Synopsis: A propaganda film intended to highlight the growing problem of juvenile crime. Jane, present during a robbery, is falsely convicted of being an accessory. While being taken with her companion, Terry, to an industrial school on the week of Thanksgiving, Terry's boyfriend springs them both. With the police hot on their tail, they take over a farmhouse and terrorize the family within while waiting for a co-conspirator to arrive with money and transport.

Host Segments:

Prologue: MatBs are preparing another escape attempt, while Mike wants to keep things low key, the Bots insist on running through all the required WWII POW escape movie cliches.

Segment One/Invention Exchange: Mike continues to try and keep their escape attempt quiet, while down in Deep 13 Dr. Forrester has come up with mace mousse and takes great delight in using Satan's Jockstrap repeatedly on TV's Frank. MatB's liquid rocket pack escape attempt fails due to the fact the LOX tank was filled with the brined samon Lox and not Liquid Oxygen. Crow doesn't get why this should make a difference.

Segment Two: Inspired by the movie, MatBs pay tribute to the important role Doughy Guys played in history.

Segment Three: MatBs create the first deli in space, S.o.l's!

Segment Four: Crow sings the "Mystos!" song while Mike, Tom, and Gypsy act out Mentos-esque vignettes. Mentos Finger, indeed.

Ending Segment: While Mike and Crow very briefly discuss the issues raised by the movie, Tom delivers the letters to read. Prisoners approve of Mike, and Crow points out the situation between Mike and inmates are similar. Down in Deep 13, Frank is now dressed as the superhero Doughy Man, which just makes him a more inviting target for Dr. Forrester to mace him again, and again, and again...

Stinger: Jane leaps to her feet and screams "TURN IT OFF!"

Review:


What's the message of this movie? Never date? I don't think it really has a message. It's sort of too crappy to have any.

At least the riffing was pretty funny. Propaganda flicks tend to be so narmy that a good riffing is all it needs, and this proves that point. Along with good host segments, this a pretty good episode if you can find it. 8/10

--
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BOOTS:
TheRock1525
MrSmartGuy

IMMUNES:
RPGLord95
Tom Bombadil

--
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Favorite Riffs (Short, cont.):

*Transition back to Hal, who is still talking it up with the farmers*

Mike (As Frank, sobbing): Will you please, please leave!


*After spending a minute or so talking up the good qualities of trains...*

Hal (narrating): When the trains coming, it can't stop.

Mike: Trains of blameless, holy creatures.


*Frank Jr. and Betty show up*

Frank Jr.: I give up Hal, I surrender! What's the charge?

Crow (as Hal): Hahaha.. Manslaughter!


*Frank Jr. and Betty follow Alan as he goes to town*

Crow: I have a feeling one of these characters is about to see their own intestines.


*After Frank Jr. and Betty have a bad run in with a train*

Crow (as cop): Will you identify this bucket full of your brother?

*As Hal gets in his car and starts to drive off*

Hal: So if the next car happens to be yours, don't tell me you were speeding a little, breaking the law a little...

Servo: Uh-oh..

Hal: Only doing something a little bit wrong, save that for somebody else, brother!

Crow: Oh my god, he's snapped!

Hal: Cause I've seen too many little follies!

Servo: He's a bad cop on the loose!

Hal: Someone's going to end up a little bit dead.

Mike: Now I'm going to grab a little bit of lunch.

*We get random shots of cops saluting*

Crow: Folks, we disavow anything to do with that officer! In fact, he was fired years ago.

Servo: That's right. Since his reign of terror, we've instituted a strict policy. Any officer appearing unannounced at a farmer's house will be severely reprimanded.

*Due to forced perspective, a cop looks far larger than he is*

Mike: Gargantucop.

Favorite Riffs (movie):


Narrator: Radar! A magic word. Born of a world conflict.

Mike: War is good.


*Mr. Hamilton and Tom the Radar Guy are talking about the radar. Apparently, it works just like sonar, since they found a school of fish on it*

Mr. Hamilton: I've always maintained that there is no limit to the possibilities of radar.

Servo (as Hamilton): Now where's the damn donut cart?


*A couple of guys are burying some dead bodies or something. The radar people are tracking them down, and they try to escape.*

Driver: C'mon, Blacky!

Mike: It's not Blacky, it's African Americany.


*The guys who planned the... whatever are standing around. All of a sudden, we hear a VERY reminiscent whistle sound*

Crow: No waffles!

--
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Favorite Riffs (short):


*We see a funeral procession going to the cemetary.*

Mike: Never let this happen to you. Don't make the same mistake these people made. Don't die.


*Police Officer Hal watches the funeral from afar*

Hal (narrating): Burying someone from a family, someone cut down from the prime of life...

Mike (As Hal): Is one of the perks of this job.

Hal: Well, it's hard to take. I could say goodbye from here.

Servo (As Hal, loudly): GOODBYE!


Hal (still narrating): It was hard to believe that just a few days before...

Mike: I was being spanked by Rodney King.

Hal: The Dixon family had been a happy and content group of people as you'd find anywhere.

Servo (As Hal): Then I showed up.


*Frank Dixon pulls up to his family's farm. Frank Sr. is working on some hay*

Hal: Frank Jr. had just come home from college, to give his dad a little help on the farm.

Crow: Since the heart attack, Dad thought he was a basket weaver!


*Frank Jr and his girlfriend Betty drive Frank Sr.'s new tractor back to the farm. He has to drive near a railroad crossing*

Hal: The 411 was due in any minute. With Betty there, he wasn't taken chances anyways.

Crow: But with Cindy there, he doesn't care!


*Hal pulls up and drops by the Dixon's place shortly after young Alan gets his driver's license.*

Crow: It's the heat, hide the stash!

Hal: If you've known a family as long as I've known the Dixon's, they don't treat you as a cop, but as a friend.

Mike (as Dixon): I thought we were paid up.

Servo (as Hal): I'm gonna need another fifty. Hate to see something bad happen to this place.


*Hal figures it would be nice time to get the Dixon's together and chat up about driving safely.*

Hal: Now these are accident reports from my headquarters.

Servo (as Frank Sr.): Sir, is this gonna take lo-

Hal: Each figure represents someone injured or killed in the streets..

Servo: We got a crop out in the field that we need to cut-

Hal: On city streets...

Servo: It's getting lat-

Hal: Farm roads...

Servo: Really gotta get-

Hal: Highways, and railroads.

Servo: Gotta mow that hay down and get it to market.

Hal: All accidents and figures are here.

Servo: Gonna lose a lot of money if we don't-

Hal: Some of them you read in the papers.

*The scene transitions*

Crow: In other words, we hushed up.


*After talking about reading the road signs, Hal brings up someone Alan knew.*

Alan: I ran against him on the track team.

Mike (as Hal): Well, do you know him like THIS?!

*Hal hands Alan a sheet of paper that says fatal on it*

Servo (As Alan): No! AH AH AHHHHHH! Dear God, what are you? Who are you?

Mike (as Alan): I'm gonna throw myself in the thresher.


*An inattentive driver nearly runs over a man changing his tire*

Crow (As Man): Whoa! Almost ran over Kissenger. *beat* I have to go back.


*A male driver is distracted by a woman's... assets*

Crow: 40% of all accidents are caused by women's hinders!

--
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Season Five Episode Twenty: Radar Secret Service.w/short Last Clear Chance
Network: Comedy Central
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank


The Short's Plot Synopsis: "Friendly" cop Hal Jackson visits the Dixon family to instruct their youngest son, Alan , in the art of safe and courteous driving. He relates many grisly tales of various young drivers, his main advice being to pay attention, but Alan's older brother Frank Jr. isn't listening, and drives with his girlfriend Betty into the path of an oncoming train while turning around and waving at the car behind him. Officer Hal, driving to the edge of near insanity, snaps.


The Movie's Plot Synopsis: G-men track stolen Uranium-238 shipment using new radar technology; they also recruit the girlfriend of a gang member as an informant. Radar helps, but it takes an undercover blonde to really get the goods on criminal masterminds.

Host Segments:

Prologue: Mike performs Crow’s maintenance checkup, but has no idea what he's doing. The result: Crow becomes Arnold Horshack.

Segment One/Invention Exchange: Mike has an escape plan: tear up everything aboard the SOL made of fabric (including Gypsy’s bra, Crow’s Underoos and pants from The Killer Shrews, and Tom Servo's pantyhose) and tie the scraps together to make a very long rope. He might be a bit delusional. The Mads present Hypno-Helio-Static-Stasis (containing X-4), a device which slows down movies and fills them with "subliminal poopie".

Segment Two: Based on the tragic short, Trooper Tom presents the playlet "Why Don’t They Look?" Dryer lint is more dangerous than one imagines! The Mads present the movie.

Segment Three: The Bots simulate Mike’s 10-year high school reunion, based on what they found in Mike's yearbook. The theme: "Hungry Like the Wolf".

Segment Four: Mike and Crow have built the Quinn Martin Nature Preserve so old actors have a place to go when they’re no longer useful. Servo eventually recognizes that the Hypno-Helio-Static-Stasis is taking effect on them.

Ending Segment: The Mads are foiled by Ecstato-Euphoro-Fun (with patented Hinder 90), a device which takes a B movie and turns it into a "Yippee movie"! Frank eventually falls under Hinder 90's spell.

Stinger: The hysterical French maid shouts, "Thank you!"


Review:

I said it before, I'll say it again. Last Clear Chance is by far one of the best shorts ever shown on MST3K. The premise, while actually useful (compared to selling chevy's or talking to a man-woman) still comes off as badly acted and unintentionally hilarious. Also, seeing as it was made by Union Pacific Railroad, they are able to throw in a positive train message in there. Why? I dunno. This is one of THE shorts that should be on every MSTies' must watch list.

Maybe because of how good the short is, the movie is really dull and boring. Considering it was made by the same man that brought us Lost Continent (ROCK CLIMBING) I shouldn't be shocked. I would advise anyone who watches this episode to not worry too much about the featured movie, since it really doesn't stand up too well, even with MatBs riffing it.

That being said, almost all the laughs in this episode are to be found in the short, with the movies getting a few chuckles here and there. The host segments were hilarious (especially the one based off the short.) If the movie had been somewhat better, this would easily be a 10/10 episode, but the way it stands this is more along the lines of 8/10

--
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I put my money on a new comic Wednesday.

--
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Favorite Riffs:


*While reading the credits, we see Jack Palance's name come on the screen*

Crow: I crap bigger than this movie.


*The first opening shot is of a pair of women's legs in nylon stockings*

Servo: Joe Namath!


*Nerdy loser Watney talks to his friend Caboit at The Pullman, a bar.*

Watney: Will you check out the legs of that blond at the end of the bar? I mean she's awesome.

Mike (as Kevin): That's my brother!

Watney: I'm a leg man. Love'em love'em. Oooh yeah. I love them

Servo (as Watney): I am so heterosexual!


*Watney tries (and fails) to hit on another woman, who seems to be talking to another guy*

Mike: I bet the crispy guy in the middle will go home, put on a pan of Mac and Cheese, and go to sleep.


*We go from one shot of Watney and Cabot in Cabot's car with werid sthings going onto a shot of them in the desert*

Crow: Sorry ladies and gentlemen we simply couldn't afford special effects.


*Cabot is heading to a city in Gor, while Watney babbles on behind him*

Mike: Cabot, no one would see you if you kill him right now.

Crow: They'd probably give him a free drink at The Pullman.


*After hearing everyone from the plucky comic relief to random extras call out Cabot a few dozen times*

Servo: So.. our hero is named what again?

Mike: Cabot.

Servo: Ah. Cabot.


*Once in the city, The Queen tries to seduce Watney to have an alibi for when the King ends up dead.*

Servo: Oh geez, now she's trying to sleep her way to the bottom.


*Lara begins to make out with Watney*

Lara: Tell me, how do they make love on your planet? Is it any different from ours?

Servo (as Watney): I'm speaking hypothetically, of course...


*After the King is murdered by Lara, Cabot and his dwarf sidekick are wondering around the desert... Or is it the desert?*

Crow: Oh no, they're on the Moon Zero Two set!


*Cabot and his little sidekick decide to trek to the next town. Shot of a snake*

Servo: Watch out for snakes!


*More shots of Cabot and little sidekick in the desert*

Servo (as Sidekick): In the desert, you don't remember your name...


*Cabot and sidekick find the slaver's tent. Cabot is eating an apple*

Crow: I came to chew bubblegum and kick ass. I'm all out of ass.

--
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Season Five Episode Nineteen: Outlaw of Gor
Network: Comedy Central
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank


Plot Synopsis: A beefy blond Earth man Cabot and his piggish friend Watney are teleported by a rose quartz to another planet/dimension because The Elder (he has no name, just "The Elder"), ruler of Koroba, thinks that Xeno, the Priest (Jack Palance), has eyes for the throne. The Elder is wrong, though; it's the Queen who wants the throne for herself. Cabot cares nothing for such intrigue, just for the Princess. Watney is seduced by the Queen to help implicate Cabot in the murder of the King. Cabot and his platinum blond midget friend escape off into the desert where they free a slave girl and are just as quickly captured by a bounty hunter.

Host Segments:

Prologue: MatBs are roughhousing on the SOL bridge. Gypsy warns them to stop, but they fail to heed her warnings.

Segment One/Invention Exchange: Servo recovers from the roughhousing. The Mads are really proud of their Really Real Time Machine. But it turns out the time machine is just a box where Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank can go change into period costumes. MatBs show off the results of their Fabio Kit. Gypsy laughs at them.

Segment Two: MatBs look through a scrapbook of Mike’s stage career. He wore a sailor suit in every show he ever did, even when it was not necessary

Segment Three: Inspired by all the exposed flesh in the movie Mike and the Bots sing the musical revue "Tubular Boobular Joy".

Segment Four: MatBs eagerly read excerpts from the book Palance on Palance, complete with appropriate voices. Things start to get a bit weird when "Jack" writes down about killing a guy.

Ending Segment: MatBs revisit the many buffalo shots from the movie. Back in Deep 13, the Mads are going through dances of the ages for no apparent reason.

Stinger: The Evil Queen tells Jack Palance, “Get out of here, you disGUSting WOORRRRRM!”

Review:

Annoying plucky comic relief, hunky lead, quite a few fanservice-y woman, and Jack Palance. This movie, like Cave Dwellers, feels like it was made because of Conan The Barbarian (though Gor was a popular novel series in itself.) The movie is pretty rough, but it does fall into the so bad it's good territory.

Because it's so bad it's good, it is a goldmine of good riffing. MatBs tear into this movie something awful, and it makes for a great episode. There's plenty of laughs to go around, that's for sure. The host segments were good as well. Tubular Boobular Joy is one of the more infamous episodes in the series, and the Jack Palance excerpts were great. All around, excellent episode that should be watched by all MSTies. 10/10

--
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BOOTS:
Cokes
AlecTrevelyan006

IMMUNES:
BIGPUN9999
Lockes Ragnarok

--
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Chronic
ctes
CIII/Nick
Tom
Manaic
War

--
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Bumpage.

Like I said, The Atomic Brain a funny episode, just not exactly a memorable one..

--
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BOOTS:
Dante
Team Rocket Elite

IMMUNES:
NioraptH
Tom Bombadil

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Bumpage.

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Favorite Riffs (Short):


*A trio of Juvey's jump into the back of another's car*

Crow: Let's go study!


*The punks run into the back of another man's car. They don't like being called punks*

Punk: What is that you called us?

Man: I just bought that car.

*The punks grab the man, who looks very angry*

Crow: He's changing into The Incredible Hulk!

Mike: When good nature ribbing goes too far.


*We get a shot of a picture of the man*

Servo: They flattened him! ... Oh.


*The punks pick up their pal, and enter a diner*

All: NORM! NORM! NORM! NORM! NORM!


*Jamie, the son of the man the punks beat up (and one of their crew) runs home after he figures it out*

Jamie's Mother: Jamie!

Jamie: How's dad?

Mother: How did you know?

Mike (as Jamie): He's always been my dad!


Favorite Riffs (Movie):


*Several women meet up at a airport. They are all speaking with strange accents allegedly from England*

Mike: You're all from Nebraska, cut it out.


*The women are hailed by a driver to go to the mad scientist's house. Why they are waiting outside the house, the gates mysteriously open*

Mike: Trumpy. you can do magic!


*We see some sort of light tunnel thing with smoke coming from the bottom*

Servo: Hey, Gandalf's down there!


*Ms. March rolls around on her wheelchair*

Mike: She's spinning donuts on the deep pile!


*Ms. March stands up*

Crow (as Dr. Strangelove): Mein Fuher, I can walk!


*Victor meet Hetty March at the top of the stairs*

Hetty: That took you long enough!

Crow (as Victor): Get bent..

Victor: The lawyer will see you in the morning. I told'em you were gonna change your will.

*Victor helps her down the steps*

Mike (as Victor): Careful of this step here!

*The bots mimmick a person falling down stairs*


*Dr. Frank turned one of the girls, Anita, into a cat. To prove she's just like a cat, he pulls out a mouse*

Crow (as Frank): This mouse has the brain of Newt Gingrich. Now eat!

Hetty: She ate it!

Mike (as Hetty): I wanted it.


*The other remaining women see a woman walking around aimlessly outside. She's wearing white robes and veils*

Crow (as Woman): I'm looking for the Manos set.


*Near the end of the movie*

Servo: Mike, where's the atomic brain?

Mike: I.. I dunno.

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Season Five Episode Eighteen: The Atomic Brain w/short What About Juvenile Delinquency
Network: Comedy Central
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank


Plot Synopsis (Short): A band of no-good punks beat a guy for driving too slow and steal his mechanical pencil, before arriving to pick up their missing member Jamie, the son of the man they've just beaten

Plot Synopsis (Movie): Hetty March is a rich old lady with plenty of money. With the help of rogue scientist Dr. Otto Frank kept on retainer, she intends to have her brain (through the miracle of modern 1964 atomics) transferred into a young body. The body is to be selected from three candidates. Which one will it be? Anita from Spain, Nina from Austria, or Bea from England? What does her aged companion think of this? Will the scientist be able to gain something from this? And do the three donors suspect what awaits them?

Host Segments:

Prologue: Mike gushes as the Bots do the final dress rehearsal for the performance piece Love Letters.

Segment One/Invention Exchange: The Bots dress up as and mock the Mads, leaving the Mads no choice but to fight fire with fire.

Segment Two: With the aid of a weather station kit, Tom has transformed himself into Weather Servo 9! He quickly learns why they normally don't leave the safety of the ship.

Segment Three: Mike shows the Bots what a chin puppet is. They're disturbed by Mike's behavior... until he turns right side up.

Segment Four: Magic Voice chats with the film's voice-over guy, but quickly finds him to be loathsome.

Ending Segment: Crow is Hank Kimball as The Fugitive while Mike reads some letters. "Dr." Frank consents to meet Dr. Fist.

Stinger: Anita teaches us Spanish for "AAAAAAAH!"


Review:

So, apparently delinquents beat up their own gang member's fathers? That short made absolutely no sense. Why did they make an educational short on something that would almost never happen?

Another thing that barely made any sense: The Atomic Brain. Yeah, the movie was about transferring brains from one person to another (or to creatures or whatever) but The Atomic Brain almost sounds like the name of a bad B-Movie horror movie, not a bad B-Movie whatever the hell this was.

Suffice to say, despite neither movie making a whole lot of sense, there were some pretty good riffs on both, and the host segments were quite funny as well. It's a good episode, but not great. 7.5/10

--
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BOOTS:
Procrastinater
AlecTrevelyan006

IMMUNES:
XIII_rocks
BIGPUN9999

--
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Favorite Riffs:


*We see a makeout couple... making out at the make out spot, while a song plays in the background*

Crow: Hey, how does he sing while he's kissing her?!


*We get a shot of.. nothing. Nothing is happening.*

Crow: So is something going to happen?

Mike: Folks, we'll start the movie as soon as our ride gets here.


*Police dispatchers are looking for Car 254. The officer finally picks up after running to the car*

Officer: Hello Oblin Medol(?)

Crow: It's really dark!

Officer: The whole town's destroyed!

Crow: It's really neat!

Officer: Everybody's gone!

Crow: I'm lonely...


*We get the exact same shot as earlier, only the sun's out*

Servo: Wha- Hey! You know Bert I. did this all in one take.

Mike: When I was a boy we didn't have fast moving movies sometimes we had to wait three or four hours for something to happen!

Crow: I love that story..


*Audrey, the lead female of the movie, is stopped by the army, and is forced to turn around. She turns her car around, and stops on the side of the road. In the background, mountains.*

Mike: Guys, this is SO not Illinois (Trope Namer!)


*Audrey is investigating local places that might have anything with radiation, and comes across Dr. Ed Wainwright. He's storing it in a fridge*

Mike (as Dr. Ed): Maybe I shouldn't be storing my lunch in here. I dunno.


*Audrey talks to some army officials, she goes back to Dr. Ed and his mute assistant Frank. Frank starts using sign language*

Mike (as Dr. Ed): Frank. That's filthy! I should wash your hands out with soap.

Audrey: What's he saying?

Dr. Ed: He says your lips are easy to read, that your theory makes you a bright girl in his book, and that he'd like to go along with it.

Crow (as Dr. Ed): And he's being held here against his will.


*Audrey, Dr. Ed, and Frank check out the local town to see what has happened. Frank is attacked by a giant grasshopper.*

Mike: He's signing "Aaah!"


*Dr. Ed is about to get the army out there to investigate the giant locus. Or grasshoppers, or whatever. When they find them, they retreat and attack*

Servo: We're going to get RAID, right? We're going to get a WHOLE lot of RAID, right?


*After the fight, Dr. Ed talks to Audrey in a military office*

Dr. Ed: In a way, I feel responsible.

Mike: In a way?


*Dr. Ed and the Colonel go into Chicago and find a grasshopper. They use gas to put it out, and wear gasmasks with unusually long nozzle things*

Servo: Hey, it's Trumpy!


*We get a shot of the giant grasshoppers crawling on the buildings. At least, that's what Mr. B.I.G. would want us to believe*

Crow: That's a postcard!

Servo: Hey watch it! You're stepping off the building there.

--
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Season Five Episode Seventeen: Beginning of the End
Network: Comedy Central
Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank


Plot Synopsis: Newspaper photojournalist Audrey Aimes accidentally stumbling upon a small town in Illinois which has been inexplicably destroyed. All 150 people in the town are missing, and the evidence indicates they are dead. Incredibly, the local fields are also barren, as if a swarm of locusts had eaten all the crops. Aimes suspects that the military is covering something up, and travels to a nearby United States Department of Agriculture experimental farm to learn what creature might have caused the agricultural destruction. She meets Dr. Ed Wainwright (Peter Graves), who is experimenting with radiation as a means of growing gigantic fruits and vegetables to end world hunger. Dr. Wainwright reports that there have been a number of mysterious incidents nearby, and that locusts have eaten all the radioactive wheat stored in a nearby grain silo.

Host Segments:

Prologue: Mike and the Bots attempt to sing some classic standards is repeatedly interrupted by a white trash woman (Pehl) on the Hexfield who keeps dialing the wrong number.

Segment One/Invention Exchange: After being on the phone with the woman for a while, Mike finally hangs up on her when she's distracted. Down in Deep 13 the Mads have come up with the Re-comfy bike, even more comfortable than the recumbent bike. Frank doesn't like it though. MatBs present new playing cards. .

Segment Two: While the Bots advise against it, Mike calls the Mads and catches them doing unmasculine things. The Mads try to cover it up, but it's too late. Mike says he won't do that for a while.

Segment Three: Crow has written a screenplay: "Peter Graves Goes to the University of Minnesota". It gets somewhat repetitive.

Segment Four: Tom's standup routine at the Improv (with its trademark red brick wall) is heavy on jokes comparing grasshoppers and locusts.

Ending Segment: Mike unlocks the secret to Bert I. Gordon special effects by having toy grasshoppes attack fan postcards, Meanwhile in Deep 13, the Mads box to reclaim their dignity.

Stinger: "Alright, men. Into the woods!"


Review:

Oh yeah, another Bert I. Gordon disasterpiece. I think this is his 37th movie shown on MST3K. Believe you me when I say they all suck. The better question for today's flick is how good was it? Well, it was definitely in so bad it's good territory. Who would be afraid of giant grasshoppers? If they're anything like the giant ants, gecko, and radroaches of Fallout, they should be a piece of cake. Clearly Mr. BIG saw it differently.

The riffing for this episode was much better than the previous two episodes. There were more than just a few laugh out moments. Not only that bu the Host Segments were also as funny. Mike discovering that they could call the Mads, then finding out what they do during the experiments is one of the better host segments I've seen. Good episode all around. 9/10

--
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Favorite Riffs:

*Wanda is talking to some hunky surfer guy on the beach. As this is going on, a truck passes by in the background... on the beach*

Servo: Hey guys, it's Baywatch!

*The guys get excited and hoot at the truck*


*We get a shot of an archeologist, who I think is Wanda's father.*

Mike: He looks like Clint Howard!


*Someone writes a letter in cursive to Wanda*

Servo (Reading the letter): Dear Miss Sahnumchnumnumnum.


*Wanda is at one of her dad's friends places. She is reading a book and we get a cut to a door. Beside the door is a statue of a short fat man and what appears to be a belt buckle*

Crow: Look, a cult that worships John Candy.

Mike: And look up there, Nick Bockwinkel's belt buckle!


*Wanda falls down a shaft, and is looking at a picture of her mother*

Mike (as Wanda): Mom! Why are you doing behind that glass? You look so small.


*Wanda and Gus (The fake Austrilian guy that Wanda meets) are climbing down a ladder. Magic Skirt is averted.*

Crow: Whoa! That'd make your shamrock shake.

Mike: I need to get my sheliheal.


*Wanda stumbles upon Charmin', who helps her out. He immediately falls for her. I guess*

Charmin: You're an unusual girl, Wanda. And I mean more than your voice is strange.

Mike (as Wanda): What exactly is wrong with my voice?


*Charmin' fights General Rykov, the big bad who looks like a blue vampire. During their fight, they somehow end up in a room with light shining in (they're underground.) The scene looks like it was ripped off from another movie*

Crow: Suddenly it's the end of Highlander.

--
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