Lurker > MannerSaurus

Every day is a nightmare, and it's getting worse. I can hear her sad cry everywhere I go. I have had very vivid dreams about her. In one dream, she had me fully convinced she was alive. As I slowly became lucid, I said "This isn't real... is it...?" She looked down sad, and shook her head.

She kissed my forehead and said, "I'm just visiting you until you come join me in Heaven." And she smiled at me. I tried to hug her so tight in an effort to "save her", and I fell right through her as she faded like Obi-Wan/Yoda from Star Wars 4/6. In her clothes fell the necklace I have that contains her ashes. I woke up screaming and crying, like I do most nights.

My double vision finally went away around Halloween, and my memory starts forming around then, as well. I don't remember coming back to my home state... I barely remember making the topic here on POTD. My left foot is numb, my left knee hurts (I walk with a slight limp), and I cannot lift anything heavier than an empty water bottle with my left hand. They believe it was because the right side of my brain was injured in the wreck, and it has 0% improvement. I have to find a specialist, like a neurologist, that works on a sliding scale... because obviously money is really bad right now for me. But 0 improvement on using one of my hands is a little scary. I have been attending intense greif counciling. I don't really see the point, (I don't really see the point in anything), but she's nice and I don't mind talking about it. So what's there to lose by talking? I think she's a nice lady and very professional. I may attend group therapy, especially if I can find one for people widowed, but that's a little down the road.

I want to thank all of you for how much love you have shown. I didn't mean to scare anyone with my last topic, and my heart melted to hear that so many of you genuinely cared about me and this horror. I was super suprised when Foxx reached out to me. I've been spending a lot of time staying with friends, or hanging out with friends. I don't like to be alone very often with the extremely loud silence of her (physical) absence. I have shared a laugh and a smile with a few of my good friends since the wreck, but it is akin to two people in The Walking Dead sharing a laugh in a survivors' camp. Yes, it is a beautiful moment between two humans, and I cherish every second with my loved ones... but the world is still dying around me. I don't wish the horror and demons my soul is facing on even my worst enemies.

Thank you for taking the time to read this (and if you shared my GFM, or donated... you are seroiusly just the best.)

Do me a favor, and please... don't take life for granted. Don't wait for tomorrow to tell someone you love them, or to forgive someone in your life... or to apologize to someone you love. Tomorrow may never come. I love you all.
---

How many years to walk this path alone?
So much to see tonight, so why'd you close your eyes... why can't I shut mine?

As most of you know, my wife was violently killed in a wreck on October 3rd of this year (2017.) I didn't want to make this... I don't like asking for money in most cases. My friends had to convince me it was a good idea. I went from 4 incomes to 1 (two of her jobs, and I lost my second job), and these bills are getting terrifying. I don't care about money in the light of losing my soul mate, it's one of the last things on my mind... you can't take it with you when you die, it's just material. Yet, while I'm still breathing, my debt is piling up at an alarming rate. If you want to donate that would mean the world to me, or if you can share it that would be nice. If not, I understand, but it means a lot to me if you at least think of her and myself, and pray for her, myself, and the rest of our family.

LINK: *REMOVED*

(If this is against TOS, I apologize. I looked everywhere and couldn't find anything against sharing this.)

Those of you that don't know what happened, I was on vacation with my wife in Texas to visit her family (fiancee legally, we never made it to the ceremony... but we both agreed that a piece of paper from the US government does not determine if we are married, we were husband and wife under God), and someone in a truck lost control in the rain and hit us head on. I have absolutely no memory of the wreck, both from a serious head injury, and likely from grief and trauma. I was in a restaurant one minute, and in the hospital the next. (Apparently a day or two later.) After slowly coming to my sense enough to realize where I was, I asked the doctor "Why am I in a hospital??? Where am I???" The doctor told me I need to stay as still as I could and that I was in an extremely serious car accident. I had apparently been cut out with the jaws of life while unconscious, and air lifted by helicopter. I demanded to know where my wife was, and the doctor told me we would talk about that in a minute. He later came back with my mother-in-law who was sobbing, and she told me that I was in a car wreck. I asked "Well where is Sabine??? WHERE IS MY WIFE??????" and she just shook her head and cried and said "I'm so sorry, Corey.... I'm so sorry...." and I grabbed her shirt and screamed at the top of my lungs and cried for what felt like hours. The rest of October is a blur, except for a few images. I remember seeing my wife's body laying there in a morgue or something. I said my goodbyes and had an absolute panic attack and started throwing up outside. I slightly remember seeing the wrecked vehicle to get some of my belongings out. I had a similar reaction to seeing my wife's body, because I knew that mangled car of ours was where Sabine had been killed. Our 5-year-old niece was in the back seat, too, and Thank God had only minor injuries... but she was conscious for the whole thing. So she saw my wife take her last breath while unconscious, and she saw me laying there unconscious being pried out of the wreckage and taken to a helicopter. My older brother said to me that he first got a phone call that "Sabine was dead, and you might be." He dropped his beer and ran to his wife and cried for hours, until he got a second phone call saying that "I was alive but unconscious and critical in the ICU." He told me "I don't mean this in a ****ty way, but that second phone call didn't make me any happier. I knew that either way, you had died in that wreck."

http://m.lampasasdispatchrecord.com/news/2017-10-06/Front_Page/Woman_killed_in_US_190_wreck.html#.WkKNJTe1ubL

Not only should I be dead physically (the engine was to the back seat... where we sat was nothing but metal, glass, and blood...), but emotionally I am a shattered human being. I wish I had gone with her, I am angry that I survived.
---

How many years to walk this path alone?
So much to see tonight, so why'd you close your eyes... why can't I shut mine?

Uhm... wow???? mead you didn't have to do this... thank you. And everyone else... I'm crying right now that this even went beyond the topic and moderation, I was just gonna leave it to that. All of you are good people, and I will never forget the concern or compassion shown here...

I'm going to post my two post intro from my other topic, just so people know what I wrote (it took me like 20 minutes to type all of this out...)

If I can never repay this kindness to all of you, I hope to at least pay it forward in my actions while still here on this Earth. And I hope God and the universe sees your selfless actions. Even if it's just kind words. I mean, even just Foxx reaching out to me touched my soul, and you can't put a monetary value on that.
---

How many years to walk this path alone?
So much to see tonight, so why'd you close your eyes... why can't I shut mine?

Veedrock- posted...

MannerSaurus posted...

As most of you know

All y'all getting sappy and I'm over here hung up on this part like "really?"

Oh... I'm sorry. I'm not entirely... connected to the world around me. I should have written "As some of you know[...]". That would have made more sense...
---

How many years to walk this path alone?
So much to see tonight, so why'd you close your eyes... why can't I shut mine?

Jen0125 posted...

sorry for your loss again but i'm pretty sure this is against the TOS. i got modded for even making a joke about asking for donations.

Oh................

OK.... well, thank you Miss Jen.
---

IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

Every day is a nightmare, and it's getting worse. I can hear her sad cry everywhere I go. I have had very vivid dreams about her. In one dream, she had me fully convinced she was alive. As I slowly became lucid, I said "This isn't real... is it...?" She looked down sad, and shook her head.

She kissed my forehead and said, "I'm just visiting you until you come join me in Heaven." And she smiled at me. I tried to hug her so tight in an effort to "save her", and I fell right through her as she faded like Obi-Wan/Yoda from Star Wars 4/6. In her clothes fell the necklace I have that contains her ashes. I woke up screaming and crying, like I do most nights.

My double vision finally went away around Halloween, and my memory starts forming around then, as well. I don't remember coming back to my home state... I barely remember making the topic here on POTD. My left foot is numb, my left knee hurts (I walk with a slight limp), and I cannot lift anything heavier than an empty water bottle with my left hand. They believe it was because the right side of my brain was injured in the wreck, and it has 0% improvement. I have to find a specialist, like a neurologist, that works on a sliding scale... because obviously money is really bad right now for me. But 0 improvement on using one of my hands is a little scary. I have been attending intense greif counciling. I don't really see the point, (I don't really see the point in anything), but she's nice and I don't mind talking about it. So what's there to lose by talking? I think she's a nice lady and very professional. I may attend group therapy, especially if I can find one for people widowed, but that's a little down the road.

I want to thank all of you for how much love you have shown. I didn't mean to scare anyone with my last topic, and my heart melted to hear that so many of you genuinely cared about me and this horror. I was super suprised when Foxx reached out to me. I've been spending a lot of time staying with friends, or hanging out with friends. I don't like to be alone very often with the extremely loud silence of her (physical) absence. I have shared a laugh and a smile with a few of my good friends since the wreck, but it is akin to two people in The Walking Dead sharing a laugh in a survivors' camp. Yes, it is a beautiful moment between two humans, and I cherish every second with my loved ones... but the world is still dying around me. I don't wish the horror and demons my soul is facing on even my worst enemies.

Thank you for taking the time to read this (and if you shared my GFM, or donated... you are seroiusly just the best.)

Do me a favor, and please... don't take life for granted. Don't wait for tomorrow to tell someone you love them, or to forgive someone in your life... or to apologize to someone you love. Tomorrow may never come. I love you all.
---

IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

As most of you know, my wife was violently killed in a wreck on October 3rd of this year (2017.) I didn't want to make this... I don't like asking for money in most cases. My friends had to convince me it was a good idea. I went from 4 incomes to 1 (two of her jobs, and I lost my second job), and these bills are getting terrifying. I don't care about money in the light of losing my soul mate, it's one of the last things on my mind... you can't take it with you when you die, it's just material. Yet, while I'm still breathing, my debt is piling up at an alarming rate. If you want to donate that would mean the world to me, or if you can share it that would be nice. If not, I understand, but it means a lot to me if you at least think of her and myself, and pray for her, myself, and my family.

LINK: https://www.gofundme.com/4ut69b-trying-to-rebuild-my-life

(If this is against TOS, I apologize. I looked everywhere and couldn't find anything against sharing this.)

Those of you that don't know what happened, I was on vacation with my wife in Texas to visit her family (fiancee legally, we never made it to the ceremony... but we both agreed that a piece of paper from the US government does not determine if we are married, we were husband and wife under God), and someone in a truck lost control in the rain and hit us head on. I have absolutely no memory of the wreck, both from a serious head injury, and likely from grief and trauma. I was in a restaurant one minute, and in the hospital the next. (Apparently a day or two later.) After slowly coming to my sense enough to realize where I was, I asked the doctor "Why am I in a hospital??? Where am I???" The doctor told me I need to stay as still as I could and that I was in an extremely serious car accident. I had apparently been cut out with the jaws of life while unconscious, and air lifted by helicopter. I demanded to know where my wife was, and the doctor told me we would talk about that in a minute. He later came back with my mother-in-law who was sobbing, and she told me that I was in a car wreck. I asked "Well where is Sabine??? WHERE IS MY WIFE??????" and she just shook her head and cried and said "I'm so sorry, Corey.... I'm so sorry...." and I grabbed her shirt and screamed at the top of my lungs and cried for what felt like hours. The rest of October is a blur, except for a few images. I remember seeing my wife's body laying there in a morgue or something. I said my goodbyes and had an absolute panic attack and started throwing up outside. I slightly remember seeing the wrecked vehicle to get some of my belongings out. I had a similar reaction to seeing my wife's body, because I knew that mangled car of ours was where Sabine had been killed. Our 5-year-old niece was in the back seat, too, and Thank God had only minor injuries... but she was conscious for the whole thing. So she saw my wife take her last breath while unconscious, and she saw me laying there unconscious being pried out of the wreckage and taken to a helicopter. My older brother said to me that he first got a phone call that "Sabine was dead, and you might be." He dropped his beer and ran to his wife and cried for hours, until he got a second phone call saying that "I was alive but unconscious and critical in the ICU." He told me "I don't mean this in a ****ty way, but that second phone call didn't make me any happier. I knew that either way, you had died in that wreck."

http://m.lampasasdispatchrecord.com/news/2017-10-06/Front_Page/Woman_killed_in_US_190_wreck.html#.WkKNJTe1ubL

Not only should I be dead physically (the engine was to the back seat... where we sat was nothing but metal, glass, and blood...), but emotionally I am a shattered human being. I wish I had gone with her, I am angry that I survived.
---

IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

If anything were to happen to me, you guys were always a fun bunch, and I'm sorry for any trouble I caused when I was an ego-fueled teen->early 20's. Every single one of you was extremely kind in my thread about my accident, and I saw every single one of you as caring humans. I read each post at least 10 times. I don't have it in me anymore. I think I'm losing this fight.
---

IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

darkknight109 posted...

MannerSaurus posted...

At the end of the day, I hope neither of you gentlemen are in a situation where you are forced to use your firearm

Don't have one, don't want one, would never willingly carry one, don't live in the US anyways, so this is a moot point for me on multiple levels.

MannerSaurus posted...

The fact is, there is not a courtroom in the United States of America that would find a 330 pound bouncer shooting a 115 pound unarmed Steve Urkle to be considered innocent or self-defense or a "justified shooting." That extreme hypothetical is something I am 100% sure of.

Funny thing about that...

Here's 26 examples of children and teenagers whose shooters claimed Stand Your Ground (some successfully, some not):

https://thinkprogress.org/at-least-26-children-or-teens-died-in-florida-stand-your-ground-cases-726443948a64/

And if you earnestly think that a 115 pound guy cannot pose a threat to a 330 pound guy, you don't know much about fighting. While the 330 pound guy has a distinct advantage, it is more than possible for the 115 pound guy to pose a threat to the other guy's life, whether he is armed or not.

I boxed for 7 years in a gym, 13 total if you count outside of the gym in sparring in my mid-20's. I've had more "fights" (if you count sparring) in my life than many people combined, in the sport of boxing alone. I'm not even including the real ones that got me arrested or kicked out of school (older and younger examples.) 215 pounds is a CONSIDERABLE difference in weight. People of different skills and sizes can do different things in combat, but at that kind of difference you can literally just hold the guy in place (like many bouncers are trained to do) and wait for police while the scrawny wuss struggles uselessly. Using a firearm in a scenario like that is asinine, and illegal.
---

IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

https://www.theet.com/fairmontnews/news/fairmont-man-arrested-for-allegedly
-using-firearm-during-fight/article_dcec1289-322c-5316-96fd-9dc640b9d192.html

http://www.uticaod.com/news/20160307/utica-man-arrested-on-gun-charges-following-fight

http://host.madison.com/wsj/news/local/crime/gun-brandished-in-fight-man-arrested-madison-police-say/article_
e5113ebf-fea2-50b9-9ba7-58113cf87564.html

http://www.theolympian.com/news/local/crime/article26106106.html

I don't think any of these articles actually linked to the final courtroom verdict, but I can look later if you guys wish. Again, argue all you want. At the end of the day, I hope neither of you gentlemen are in a situation where you are forced to use your firearm. I believe both of you to be fine men. And if you are, I hope neither of you are facing the courtroom for unclear usage. The fact is, there is not a courtroom in the United States of America that would find a 330 pound bouncer shooting a 115 pound unarmed Steve Urkle to be considered innocent or self-defense or a "justified shooting." That extreme hypothetical is something I am 100% sure of.
---

IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

I have just as many courtroom verdict examples to prove the contrary.
---

IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

I'm not saying you're wrong. Size doesn't always matter in a fight. But in the eyes of the law, if it's obvious you didn't have to use your gun, you will be punished and charged. You can't just shoot your gun because you want to avoid a fist fight with Steve Urkle.
---

IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

Except, that Sonic 3 & Knuckles is a single game. The split up created Sonic 3, and Sonic & Knuckles. When connected, you now have a 3rd game, which is in fact, a game. It's a game. There's no other way to describe Sonic 3 & Knuckles.
---

IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

Action53 posted...

MannerSaurus posted...

want to give you a warning, that isn't how the stand your ground law works entirely. There has to be disparity of force, where "death or great bodily harm" would have resulted if you didn't pull the trigger. If you are more muscular or in general bigger than the guy attacking you, YOU CANNOT use lethal force to end the dispute. If Vin Diesel was being threatened hand to hand violence by Jim Parsons in a "Castle Doctrine" state, and Vin Diesel used a firearm to protect himself, Vin Diesel would go to prison and so will you in the same scenario. There has to be a disparity of force, such as someone much tougher than you attacking you, someone using a weapon (be it knife, baseball bat, crowbar, gun), or multiple attackers threatening you.

Someone trying to start a fight and kick your ass is plenty in this state. I have zero legal duty to retreat from somewhere I'm legally allowed to be, the size of the attacker has nothing to do with it, I have no idea what drugs the other person is on nor what his intentions are or what they might have in their pockets, just them coming at someone in an aggressive and threatening manner. What you're saying may be true in your state or further north than mine but it's acceptable here and has been proven to be true in multiple cases similar to what I described.

I'm not saying I would definitely shoot someone or am looking for a reason either, I'd hate to have to do something like that. But with an angry person in a fighting mood I'd pick my life over theirs every time.

Any of the 50 states of the United States what I said is true. If it can be proven that your life was not in danger (say you are jacked, and the attacker was some skinny punk), or that you escalated the situation to lethal when it wasn't to begin with, you will be sitting in prison. You don't have to take my word on it. You cannot discharge a firearm in the United States of America without being legitimately afraid of "death or great bodily harm" towards you or somebody else. Some little guy wanting to break your nose in a bar fight is NOT grounds for even pulling a firearm, much less firing it, especially if you're a big enough person to handle the situation without it. Do you think a 330 pound bouncer can just pull his sidearm out and shoot a 115 pound 18 year old skater kid swinging on him? That would be a prison sentence in all 50 states. You can argue with me all you want, but I just hope you don't ever get proven wrong inside of a cell.
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IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

Veedrock- posted...

MannerSaurus posted...

Sonic 3 & Knuckles

Is not a game.

Sonic 3 & Knuckles is literally what Sonic 3 was supposed to be, but they didn't have enough memory on the cartridge so they had to split it in half. S3&K is considered the complete game.
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IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

Action53 posted...

I wouldn't be in a fight or start one in the first place. If after kindly asking them to fuck off and go away with no results I'd draw my weapon and see if if they decide to heed my warning or end up on the wrong side of my state's stand your ground law.

I want to give you a warning, that isn't how the stand your ground law works entirely. There has to be disparity of force, where "death or great bodily harm" would have resulted if you didn't pull the trigger. If you are more muscular or in general bigger than the guy attacking you, YOU CANNOT use lethal force to end the dispute. If Vin Diesel was being threatened hand to hand violence by Jim Parsons in a "Castle Doctrine" state, and Vin Diesel used a firearm to protect himself, Vin Diesel would go to prison and so will you in the same scenario. There has to be a disparity of force, such as someone much tougher than you attacking you, someone using a weapon (be it knife, baseball bat, crowbar, gun), or multiple attackers threatening you.
---

IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

Something I tried to explain to Shenti, and I will explain to this joke account:

If you use the word "alpha male", you are not an alpha male.
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IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

I want to say honorably, but when I was young enough to always be getting into fist fights (at bars, road rage a few times, parties etc.) my life view was a lot different. It was about my ego and all this other shit.

Now that I'm a lot older, I wouldn't be getting into a fist fight unless the situation absolutely required it, so it would result in me getting violent by any means necessary to stop the fight (like the above poster said) there is no proof that it will not be "life or death"; bad things can happen.
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IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

Veedrock- posted...

Sonic 2 is flawless.

Sonic 3 has the barrel of doom.

Sonic 3 & Knuckles (the original vision for Sonic 3) is possibly in the top 5 greatest video games ever created. Doing a full 7 emerald collection for Super Sonic + 7 super emerald collection for Hyper Sonic run with tails and then having the final showdown with Dr. Robotnik in space is like ... a rite of passage for gaming.
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IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

helIy posted...

why didn't you just get it fixed

I will... I've been meaning to move up in caliber anyway, so I figured I might as well do it since I have to spend money either way.
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IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

I wish you the best Foxx. I truly hope this works out for you.
---

IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

Kyuubi4269 posted...

MannerSaurus posted...

They do, I bought a box of hollow points for carrying, 20 rounds for about $15. I also got a box of 50 FMJ rounds for the range for free with the purchase, and $40 off the price of the gun. (I had bought my AR-15 from the same guy and he's always been helpful. He's a manager there.)

Hmm, I'd of thought they'd be cheaper, are .380s not very popular?

The ball/FMJ rounds are a bit cheaper. I'm not sure why the hollow ones cost so much.
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IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

Kyuubi4269 posted...

MannerSaurus posted...

Kyuubi4269 posted...

Why do you use such small caliber?

Trying to find the best balance between concealment (I live in FL, summer clothes is almost year round), power, control etc.

I enjoy larger caliber weapons like .357 Magnum and .45ACP, but I can't group them in double tap or 3-round groups effectively, and many of the guns chambered in them are too large to carry with summer clothes. I agree that .32ACP was too small, but .380ACP seems just about perfect for my concealed carry.

Fair enough. Do. 380ACP have hollow points available? Also how's their price point?

They do, I bought a box of hollow points for carrying, 20 rounds for about $15. I also got a box of 50 FMJ rounds for the range for free with the purchase, and $40 off the price of the gun. (I had bought my AR-15 from the same guy and he's always been helpful. He's a manager there.)
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IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

acesxhigh posted...

MannerSaurus posted...

It's hard to enjoy anything in the world with the horrible shit I'm coping with

uhh don't do anything too drastic, man. you know, with the gun.

My family is concerned, too. But I have 3 more... I don't see what a difference 1 makes. Also, even while crying to my friend on the phone, my mental relationship with the gun was "I should really oil that up so I can keep her safe when I visit her."

I'm having problems that are deep, but I have no desire to hurt myself because of them.
---

IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

Kyuubi4269 posted...

Why do you use such small caliber?

Trying to find the best balance between concealment (I live in FL, summer clothes is almost year round), power, control etc.

I enjoy larger caliber weapons like .357 Magnum and .45ACP, but I can't group them in double tap or 3-round groups effectively, and many of the guns chambered in them are too large to carry with summer clothes. I agree that .32ACP was too small, but .380ACP seems just about perfect for my concealed carry.
---

IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

Nothing special. My sidearm that I was carrying during the wreck was a FEG AP~MBP in .32ACP, and I had carried that gun for nearly 8 years. When I got it back from the hospital, it was broken and no longer held the magazine inside the magazine well.. I'm guessing they ripped it out without pressing the button correctly or something of that nature. I'm not mad, they were trying desperately to save my life... but the fact of the matter is... that was my carry gun. And I got a permit to carry a firearm because I want to protect the people I love, and now the gun was broken. So, anyways, I purchased a Bersa Thunder .380ACP, which is a similar weapon to the one I broke (both are Walther PPK clones), except the Bersa is much more modern, and I also wanted a little more projectile than a tiny .32ACP. I'm waiting on the holster from Amazon (you can tell from the picture that the trigger guard is a little bigger so it doesn't fit right in the same holster, despite being based on the same gun), but I bought it yesterday and test fired it today... worked perfectly. Was accurate at 10-30 feet ranges, fed/extracted/ejected like a dream. For the record, like Zangulus, this also qualified a little as "RETAIL THERAPY". It's hard to enjoy anything in the world with the horrible shit I'm coping with, but purchasing a new gun was like purchasing a new video card or car part. Something positive to take my mind off of everything for a minute.

Old sidearm on top, new on bottom.

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/ls1tech.com-vbulletin/2000x1124/80-20171020_143342_6a67f865e1794817ecab299dcaa2a220d322735e.jpg
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IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

I this about the Voodoo video cards? I don't really know what's going on here.
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IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

You know Foxx, you really seem like a decent human being.
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IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

Update: Our cellphone payment was due today. I had to call and tell them I need her phone off my plan and why... and it was so much harder to say than I ever imagined. I feel like I'm being mean to her, and not letting her have service or something. I feel like I'm suffocating... my next therapist appointment is the 30th of this month...
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IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

My late wife was vegan. You start learning all the local places, and good for you for supporting her. She helped me eat healthier, but I to this day have a hard time giving up meat and cheese. There are a lot of place I tried that were actually really good. And sometimes places HAVE vegan options, and you can just order whatever you want. If you have a Pizza Fusion near you, they offer completely vegan pizza, and completely meat filled cheese pizza for you.
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IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

YES, JAZZ! THAT WAS IT!!!!! So I guess there was never an official resolution?
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IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...

So, you mean 80%+ of anything ever made in Hollywood in the last 20 years? That's a big uphill battle.

The one everyone thought was some guy's alt... but she insisted she wasn't? She had some kind of gimmick in her, I can't remember what it was.

Was she ever found out, or like admitted to being a prank account? I've been away from POTD for nearly a decade (or a little less, I guess) and I was just wondering.

I don't know 100%, but I would wager $40-$50 that that isn't Shenti. Simply mocking a few of his favorite terms, and being inspired by recent posts about him, very easily somebody decided to make a quick laugh. The response the new username gets will determine how long it sticks around. That's my guess, anyway.

TheY2AProblem posted...

I hate the virtual console so much right now. It feels like buying a vintage car when it came out and everyone is like, "no thanks, I have a picture of it, derp!"

This made my morning a little brighter, thank you.

Mr Hangman posted...

An automatic transmission is not a "computer" and it is a regular car. Most of them are automatics. Soon most of them will be electric (no gears at all) and driverless.

I have literally built cars from the ground up for over 20 years, you do not want to have this argument with me. Yes, an automatic transmission is controlled by a computer. You have data feedback from your throttle position (THROTTLE POSITION SENSOR), current speed, current gear, traction conditions (TRACTION CONTROL SENSOR, ANTI-LOCK BRAKE SENSOR) and various other bits of data. The PCM contains data in the software and has a look up chart for when to shift based on that data (such as holding a lower gear at wide open throttle, if safe, so you can remain longer in the power band at expense of fuel economy [this is further reduced by Fuel Enrichment Mode which is engaged at WOT and has its own separate look up chart for AFR data, ignoring your O2 feedback forcing open loop] ) and determines things such as torque reduction between gears, if it should change gears up or down or maintain, so on and so forth. You are incorrect, friend.

Also, you must live in America (I do too), because in the rest of the world, Manual cars are nearly 8:1 instead of the other way around. Electric cars have a single gear ratio because they don't have to maximize torque curve at various points in RPM/speed due to the nature of their design.

It depends at that point on what the game means to ME. I wouldn't mind losing a few dollars for a quick sale, but if it's like one of my favorite games... then again I probably wouldn't sell my favorite game.

If you really need a job, apply for a seasonal worker in logistics (or anywhere) at Target. You have to apply online, but also talk to the Team Lead or HR at least once in person. It isn't a dream job, and it doesn't pay much at entry level, but I 99.99% guarantee they will hire you. October-January is when they hire like 40 new people per store for season positions, and just during the interview you say you want to stay on as a full worker after season is over. Some of our best workers were seasonals, even our ETL started as a seasonal, and they make salary. (ETL is the Team Lead's boss.) Again, not a dream job, but it IS a job, and applying around season is almost a shoe in.

If you don't need a job and you were just making an observation about life... disregard everything I just said.

Going for $100 on ebay? $99.

$100 new? Yeah, $80 sounds pretty fair.

On second read, I think you were implying that revolvers in general where rare, and that they are all single shot. In that case, I guess I didn't even need to address that. lol

helIy posted...

Zeus posted...

That's overlooking that there are semi-auto handuns.

pretty much every single pistol is semi-auto.

there's the rare revolver that's a single shot, but those are few and far between.

i actually own one!

semi-automatic just means that, when you cock it and pull the trigger it uses the recoil to re-cock itself.

No revolvers are semi-automatic. Even the double action modern revolvers are not considered semi-automatic.

You are correct, though, the semi-automatic means energy is used from the last discharge to re-cock the hammer, and it extracts, ejects, and loads the next available cartridge in the chamber with the same movement.

There is a rare exception where a double-action only pistol (DAO) does not cock the hammer back after each shot (because it does not have a single-action trigger position with the hammer) which is still considered semi-automatic because of the extract/eject/feed mechanism, but those are pretty rare as well.

WhiskeyDisk posted...

SmokeMassTree posted...

WhiskeyDisk posted...

Look, if we're being honest, I'm old enough to remember rabbit ears and rotary phones.

Not a day goes by where I don't have a moment where I stare at my cellphone like a caveman. I have a.basic understanding of the technology and how it functions, but I certainly couldn't make one from scratch.

That being said, I can't count the number of times I've seen someone ask a stupid question while holding a magic rectangle in their hands that effectively gives them access to the world's collective knowledge. You can even configure this magic rectangle so that all you have to do is shout at it ffs.

It boggles my mind that the cellphone exists and most people just take it for granted. Bring one of these and it's functionality back to the year I graduated high school and they would have brought back witch trials and burnt you at the stake.

Case in point. My kid brother who is 13 years younger than me was having car troubles trying to leave work a few months ago. He's standing in the parking lot at his job with a dead car battery, a pair of jumper cables, and a half dozen millennials with cars that start. Every single one of them has a cellphone in their hands. He texts me to ask how to jumpstart his car. I can only facepalm that not one of those millennials thought to Google how to jumpstart a fucking car.

We live in a time when the common man has instant access to more information than the collective sum of all of humanity that came before us ffs and I'm flabbergasted daily by people that are oblivious to how astounding that fact is.

Like I keep saying, we need a new plague.

I've watched that joe rogan standup too

Nice try, but that was a true story and the closest standup bit I can think of is Louis CK's bit about his kids and airplanes.

This is how I felt when someone was trying to drive my car (which was a standard transmission), and when it wouldn't crank without the clutch disengaged, he just started at me blank, unable to continue. What if I had a heart attack? I would have been dead, because my friend doesn't know how to drive a regular car without a computer doing half the work.

I have been in a 4 part wave of screaming at the top of my lungs, crying so hard I cannot breathe, crying weakly defeated, and being silent and staring past the world with what friends describe as a "truly haunted" face. Pretty much everyday for the last few weeks. In the beginning I was just crying nonstop. Now, I can only cry alone or in front of family or friends that I trust dearly.

DirtBasedSoap posted...

Kyuubi4269 posted...

Apple is a pile of shit, why are you surprised?

their phones are a lot better than any of the android phones, they just put out a shit update

*Laughs really hard for a few minutes.* Ah, that is just adorable, friend.

Kyuubi4269 posted...

Sounds like that guy's tyres were shit too.

It wouldn't surprise me. I only know about the wreck from what I've been told and read. The concussion completely blacked me out. I remember leaving a restaurant with my wife and niece, and then waking up in a hospital to be told my wife was dead. It is the absolute worst nightmare I cannot wake up from.

helIy posted...

MannerSaurus posted...

Not that anyone here called me a liar... but here...

https://www.facebook.com/lampasasdispatchrecord/posts/10159381070750481

who is questioning you

No one, friend... I just know if I were to see a topic like this, it would bother me to not have something to read officially.

http://m.lampasasdispatchrecord.com/news/2017-10-06/Front_Page/Woman_killed_in_US_190_wreck.html#.Wep4WYi1vs0

That's a better link, if anyone wants. I can't re-read it, I will puke.

I don't wish what I'm feeling on anybody. Not even my enemies. To truly think about your life and still wish that you had died in that wreck is the most horrible lonely feeling. I'm not suicidal or anything of that nature, I wouldn't hurt myself. I've just given up. I can't understand what I'm waking up for. I don't know if it's possible to die from a broken heart, but I feel like I'm at the end of my life. (Again NOT from suicide or anything like that.) I feel like the days are getting darker, not brighter... and that would make me sad, except my body has seemingly maxed out on sadness with the loss of my wife. Like throwing a cup of water on the ocean. I feel more like I've accepted my OWN death, as if I had a terminal illness, and I was just waiting patiently at this point. Like the quote inside the movie Blow "I thought you couldn't live without your heart?" I don't think I can. I don't even think I want to. Being happy is not a goal of mine. Partly because I no longer have goals. If anything happens to me, just know that I love all of you guys, even the ones I used to butt heads with, and everything you guys have said means the world to me. I read every single post multiple times.

Zeus posted...

Of course, if it was me, I wouldn't have waited to resolve the problem until he was 30. That's just shit parenting.

True. But what if something happened at 30 years old and it triggered all kinds of extreme mental problems? Just bouncing thoughts here.