Lurker > PK_Spam

That looks like its exactly the type of thing people at Sundance eat up.

And that kid looks really underage. A gay romance? More like a movie about some creepy mid-20s guy taking advantage of a horny teenager. If the lead wasnt attractive, this movie would feel like a REALLY different thing.
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Hulu hasnt had commercials for... what? 4 years now?
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Angela Basset gets to beat the shit out of, and I mean really stick her foot up the ass of, those girls that made her daughter almost kill herself. And it looks like they might actually do some real Policewoman tortures deserving brats plotlines.

And I wanna see if that wannabe cougar who handles the 911 call center gets to bang the 20-something dude she ges wet over. I wonder how hes gonna react when he finds out the hot chick hes been talking to every day is old enough to be his mommy.

No shit, at the end of the second episode, they have a conversation where they talk about not wanting to meet yet because hed immediately go and fuck get brains out. Im looking forward to that shit show.

Also, LA apparently only has, like 2 fire departments, and the other one literally stands around and waits for the other (main) fire department to come and actually pry people out of cars. Also, theres only one 911 operator. And she has, like 5 tv screens at her desk and access to home blueprints from her computer.
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VeeVees posted...

Good job torturing your child so you can feel good.

I think its a personal choice. What I dont agree with is these people (upper class folks who clearly dont have to worry about anything, financially) forcing these decisions on poor women, specifically those who are still in high school or college.
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Im pro-choice and everything, but I have to side with the mom here. It was shitty of them to use that picture of her daughter as a way to demean the parents of children who want to keep their children regardless of any flaws.
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Yeah, a big part of fighting in Terraria is prepping the area youre fighting in.

So make a few platforms you can easily go up and down, get some campfires and heart lamps, and go nuts on buff potions.
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Is this a Terraria topic?

You really shouldnt have any issues if youre up to date on your armor and such
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Clickbait:

I ate this farm-raised larvae and a few crickets. They came in those gimmicky, overpriced little packets.

My sister and father REFUSED to even touch the food. It wasnt even that bad. Tasted like burnt popcorn, but in a good way.
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Graduated in May 2016. Before that point, I drank every single day and got drunk as shit with my friends while juggling work.

I can count the number of times Ive gotten drunk since then on one hand. And one of the more recent points was this party I attended may 2017.

It can be done. Just... dont buy it. Drink water instead and keep yourself busy. If you have stuff you need to do, even silly hobbies, you wont feel the urge to drink. And if you do, youll know you shouldnt because those silly hobbies are more important.
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West World was explicitly made for you to fully interact with everything whereas Jurassic Park is just a glorified museum.

But a lot of West Worlds appeal comes from knowing that you can fight and kill whatever NPCs you want and... that just doesnt sit right with me. I definitely do a white hat and just follow the story as a regular civilian because Id feel legitimately terrible taking advantage of anything, even robots, the way a bunch of others do.
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Nah, if that were true (Last jedi spoilers) Jar Jar wouldve used his rock hard abs to stop the saber from slicing him down the middle
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As long as I get my Jar Jar Binks trilogy that ends with him fighting and killing off everyone from the new trilogy
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You need to update those girls, @Ogurisama

Replace the middle one with Yuri from Doki Doki

And replace the disgusting 3D woman with this cutie

http://68.media.tumblr.com/a4cf4cd3bbb4ccb3aca8a239ae861a6f/tumblr_nmaztzBH9u1t19j3ro3_1280.jpg
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Wait, its STILL not out?
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How much scorn they get from everyone because of their choice in pet

If the wording in the title was unclear, I didnt mean Snake People like the ones controlling our government. I meant people who own snakes as pets... I should have said snake owners instead...
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Luckily I wont go bald since male pattern baldness is... pattern.

Your moms dad needs to be bald for you to be.
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That asshole is balding.

I guess God, if he really exists, really is on my side. Now I can continue to rewatch Community for the 10th time, with an extra smile on my face
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Yeah, its utilizing a lot more squash and stretch and has a lot more dynamic motions. It feels a little artificial, but I guess thats the norm for most of the silly nick cartoons these days.
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Hey icoyar did you read my fanfic? Youre the hero and youre gonna have inhuman gunner skills.

Also you are in love with a tiny little man
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Kyuubi4269 posted...

Imagine ICO married.

This is an AU where Icoyar is a handsome, intelligent, successful, muscular man who grooms properly. And is, according to my story's lore, is canonically 7'2" and 300 lbs. But all of that weight in muscle.
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Expect more nonsense after all my adult duties are done tomorrow. Maybe. Can't say how reliable I'll be at any moment that's not right now.
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Part Eye-Eye

The gun shop was totally empty, and, as Mr. Gun said as they headed to the back room, it was close to closing anyway, so he felt fine locking up the place so no one else could disturb them. Oh, Mr. Gun was the nickname Turtwig gave the man. He felt weird asking Mr. Gun what his name was. Especially when he knew he'd blush uncontrollably and do that thing where he gave the other person his last name while he thought of a wedding. A beautiful dutch wedding.

"I'm ICOYAR, by the way," the gun shop guy said.

Fuck!

And here came the thought of ICOYAR, the buff wall of muscle in a suit. And Turtwig, his small, frail body, draped in only the most elegant robes. And ICOYAR tearing them all off after the ceremony.

The very thought of that made Turtwig shudder. It felt like more than half of the blood in his body had shot to his butt already. He didn't know how much of this he could handle. Was he going to be okay?

"So you said you wanted a Hummingbird. I don't really have anything like that here, but I do have..." ICOYAR was leaning into a box now, giving Turtwig a brief view of the man's behind. Even his butt, the most forbidden, dirtiest area was perfect. Not that Turtwig would ever touch that. Turtwig was a bottom. "This!"

He was snapped out of his daydream to see ICOYAR holding a gun, and a hefty one at that. Much too big for Turtwig to strap to his leg with a harness! Oh! The gun holderer thing was called a HARNESS! Wow he was dumb. Jesus christ how could he forget that word.

"Boy. Boy!"

Turtwig snapped out of his thoughts again. This was becoming a serious problem. There was almost no blood left in his brain anymore. All of his body was cold. Except for his butt. Why was ICOYAR, with his big, hairy muscles, and his beautiful full beard and natural charisma and, now that he thought of it, natural musk? Was ICOYAR wearing cologne? Because it didn't smell like it, but he smelled intoxicating nonetheless.

"Yo!" ICOYAR's finger's snapped in front of Turtwig's face. "You looking a little pale there."

"I'm sorry," Turtwig spat out. "I'm just..." Screw it, not like he had much of a chance with ICOYAR anyway. He was going to say what he felt, and if the man responded well, then great, he could use him to relieve the pressure he felt in his butt, and if he didn't, he could go home and relieve the butt pressure by himself. Either way, he wouldn't fall in love with the man. Or anyone. Because he was a dark boy, with a dark past who could never love, or be loved by anyone. That was just the way he was. And he'd never change.

This was it.

Turtwig opened his mouth. "I need you," he put his hands on ICOYAR's chest. "Right now. Take me. Please."

ICOYAR's eyes glimmered. Could Turtwig sense a hint of some complex feelings welling up in there? Must've been lust. He pulled this trick with men like @green_dragon and @ZiggiStardust, one of his repeat, though very ashamed, customers. @sophieluvstofu too, but he was long gone. ICOYAR was his.

"Sorry boy," ICOYAR said with a genuine smile. "I'm a married man. With kids." his eyes, for just a moment, seemed to look down, longingly. "I can't... I can't do that."

"Oh, sorry."

With that, Turtwig grabbed his belongings and began to leave. He would have to relieve his butt at home after all.

"But, I would love to teach you about guns tomorrow," ICOYAR called out. "And the next day! And the day after that. Some come back, alright? Boy?"

Turtwig flashed an almost pure smile. "Yeah. Okay! See you tomorrow."

The blood left Turtwig's butt on its own that night. The first time it had ever done that.

@TheWorstPoster
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Im glad you remember that one! I think that was one of the better ones young me cranked out.

Honestly, it does my heart good knowing that people here sometimes remember the stuff I did forever ago.
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One of the few that I remember are my ICOYAR X Clench one. A bunch of people said it was legitimately well written.

I also remember a short one where that Alpha/beta guy got pushed around a sweaty lockerroom by... Shadow sword?

Also one with Jen and RC where the entire comedic climax was them kissing each other on the cheek, and then the text going And it was hot.
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BlazeAndBlade posted...

wait are we getting the good poll of the day storys back like the old days/

like the ones with clench beta male and others

If reception stays this good, and I keep my own word on never going more than two hours without wordsmithing, Ill consider it!
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CacciatoPart2 posted...

Lol, was it me and Clench? I didnt catch it at first but it sounds familiar now.

More like Clench and Zuc and Jack all ate each other and you were their inhuman spawn
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Andromicus posted...

This is libel, take it down immediately snowflake

I can make smutty fanfiction of whoever I want. In fact, Im gonna do it to you and Im gonna do it right now.

Part 1

Andromicus absolutely loved getting spit roasted by big women wearing beards. Every day.

The end
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CacciatoPart2 posted...

Lmao

Fun fact, the little line about the gun seller being some conglomeration of two lifters who ate each other comes from a post I made about you a loooooonnnnggggg time ago. I think.

Im trying to sneak in hints to as many posters as I can. Some subtle. Some not.
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Sarcasthma posted...

Its here! Gonna save this for after work. Thanks, Shark.

Ive been trying to train myself to write ALL the time now, so Im thinking that maybe I can write nonsense for here, where people will actually read it. 90% of my other projects probably arent gonna be read by important people for a long while.

But its good to know that some people here look forward to the crap I churn out.
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Hit the word cap and I'm cooking. Didn't proofread because I didn't care.

To be continued with sexy gun puns later tonight ;)
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- By Pk_Spam

@AwesomeTurtwig

Part 1

Turtwig could feel his breath heavy itself the moment he parked his car in front of the gun store. Gun shop? What was the proper name for a place you could get guns? An armory? No, that sounded too organized. Gun stores were literal boxed Red States that reveled in handing tools of war to anyone who could get past a rudimentary background check, or, failing that, anyone who could pay extra to bypass that entirely and just get one from sellers operating in totally legally gray areas. Or that shady guy from down the street. The fat one, with the fat kid he didn't feed properly. At least that guy smoked massive amounts of tree. Maybe he'd buy from him sometime.

People were starting to stare at Turtwig as he stood in front of his car, staring listlessly at the gun shop. His skin crawled. He really hoped those people didn't think he was there to shoot the place up. What good could that've been. Turtwig wasn't dumb enough to shoot up a gun store. That'd be murder. For him. Like, there'd be a billion better places to do that. Not that he ever thought of shooting places up! That'd be crazy! He didn't even have a gun. That's why he was here. Not that he was going to shoot up somewhere after getting a gun! And even if he did, he wouldn't... No! Dammit! He was doing it again. He was stalling himself. Putting one foot in front on the other, he forced himself to put up a confident front, an utter facade. Given the events that had transpired to him the last few days, he knew it was smart to get a gun to at least hide in a thingy on his leg. What was that thingy called? A satchel? A Gun Holderer? Who knew? That's why he was here, to finally man up, so to speak, and buy a weapon he could help defend himself with.

He even had a gun in mind.

"Excuse me," Turtwig peeped out to the man over the counter who had his back turned. The man didn't seem to hear him. "Excuse me, sir," he called out just a little louder.

"Huh?" the man finally turned around, and Turtwig finally got a sense of how large the man really was. Turtwig was left shaking in the man's shadow. He was like if two lifters ate each other and he was the combined multilayered poop they spat out. With an absolutely beautiful beard. And arms that would've blown everyone's minds at a... gun show... That was lame. Turtwig was lame. He'd need to try not to force out any shitty gun puns from here on out.

"Guns," Turtwig peeped out.

The man's head scanned the room, a perplexed look on his face.

"Yeah, we have those here." His voice was deep and gravely. A perfect compliment to his salt and pepper beard and neat, trim hair. "You know what you want, boy?"

Turtwig's boyhood quivered, though he didn't completely understand why. All of the blood was rushing to either two parts of his body. His head, evident by the rapidly reddening of his face and ears, and his butt. "H-h-h," dammit, he just couldn't spit it out. Luckily, he wrote down what he wanted on a piece of paper. He fumbled around in his back pocket and shoved the crumbled page into the man's chest, unintentionally grabbing a feel of the gun seller's ripped, bulging muscles.

The man's eyes scanned the piece of paper. "You want..." there was uncertainty in his voice. "A Hummingbird pistol? One of those tiny little toy guns? Boy, are you serious here?"

Call me boy again, daddy.

What? No. Stop that.

"I... uh... I thought it'd be an easy gun to hide and pull out whenever I needed it. I had a... bad experience the other day and I..."

"Boy," The gun seller rested his hairy, muscular forearms on the table. "Come with me," he said with a wink. "I'll help you out. Follow me out back. I'll show you how to work your hands on a real piece.
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I hope its a really raunchy visual novel
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I did?

More like I just didnt even bother to check it again
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SusanGreenEyes posted...

No.
He's working on writing a fictional scenario and is amused by what his character is doing.
How does that make him a creep?

Hes being petty because I called him a creep forever ago after he made a post about jacking it to some actress as a kid
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DONT poopbutt all over my dreams!
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*disclaimer, I didnt call my niece a bitch but Im writing a pilot episode about someone doing just that.

I like it
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And I know I definitely dont have time for it with work and my hobby writing, but I just had a 2 hour conversation with someone on tinder who was super into YGO and basically told me all about shit like win conditions and that the show did it all wrong and whatever, and it actually got me hyped to buy a few booster packs and see what I can cook up.

But, looking at the rules now and... its haaaaarrrrrdddd.

Are there any easy TCGs (so not MtG) that I can play at a local card shop for fun on my down time?
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Be grateful he didnt ask to talk to a supervisor about you being so nice. I had that happen to me one time.
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I expected a bigger turnout than this
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Shes probably looking through your posting history now. I cant wait until she finds about the time you did nothing. Because youre one of the only people here who never tries to stir the pot.
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Greenfox111 posted...

helIy posted...

no

but it is on steam i think

nah i wish

Yeah Im used to him lying to me about things that would make me happy.

Sometimes I think he likes taking my heart and ripping it to shreds over and over again. But Im always a fool for handing it to him in the first place...
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streamofthesky posted...

What a fucking joke. Got offered a nothing 2 year sentence which was already a better deal than her victims would've ever been offered, then a judge tries to offer her an even better deal of 1 year (seriously, wtf?!) and she turns that down, too.
Must be nice being a white female in our judicial system.
Watch her not even get close to the 6 year maximum despite all she's done and all the lies.

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Pepys Monster posted...

Do gay guys do funny stuff like this all the time? I've never had a gay friend.

Nah, we usually just chill out and then shoot each other wyd texts after
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Ive easily had sex over 100 times with both of the last two guys I dated.

And some of my FWBs at least 20 times. Does it count twice if two of the FWBs and I had a crossover episode, so to speak? Like does that count twice?
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God... The Simpsons Hit and Run is such a criminally underrated game.

Someone please tell me this is available on PSN or something.
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@green_dragon is an actual teacher and probably knows way more about the current status of public schools than I do, with my dated knowledge from 2014-15
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Yeah, I worked in a school for a period of time.

Like, half of the young teachers bang each other over break, and the admins basically try to make teachers lives a living hell all the time. At least, thats the notion I got from my mentor teacher during my time working.
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I dont know who vsywofbso is, but sure. Why not.

Not like I LIKE her, or anything.
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Krow_Incarnate posted...

Hargrave was called upon a second time for a statement, but ruled out of order by Fontana, explaining that the board was not taking questions.

At that point, she should've dropped it and taken her case online or somewhere other than the schoolboard.

Also, she seems to be using her own personal experience to justify why she should be receiving a raise, but wages are universal across the district. At least, they are in most cases. If the board doesn't think enough schools are improving on a large enough basis, then it's fair to deny them raises. I find it hard to believe that she hasn't received any sort of yearly raise. The standard is typically a percent or two.

As for the arrest itself, we have no idea what happened in the hallway or before the video started recording. The board could have ruled her out of order for being disruptive or simply not allowing the meeting to progress.

I still have questions about the superintendent(it sounds hella fishy) and the arrest, but there really isn't enough here to immediately take sides with the "victim".

green_dragon
PK_Spam
You guys are teachers, right? Can you verify that second paragraph?

Whoa, hold right the fuck up!

I havent talked about wanting to be a teacher here in YEEEEAAAARRRRSSS. And that was on the old account I closed. And I know for certain that I havent talked about it since 2015, because I made the decision to change my major right at that moment.

How the hell did you know to connect me to being a teacher?

ANYWAY, in my experience, pay is determined by the school, and most schools just tend to take on the same pay rate per district because of a bunch of reasons thatd take too long to talk about. (most) charter schools tend to pay better, but again that depends.
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