From: Haguile | #073
ATTENTION LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
I have just finished counting the Bear match.
Kamikaze Potato won. He was only eaten eleven times, while XIII was eaten fifteen times.
You're welcome Tom. Now you don't have to count that match.
Alright, so I guess I have to apologize now?
OK.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for making UCA relevant and good again.
I'm sorry that I joined UCA in August and by the end of the year I'd turned it into one of the most relevant and talked-about projects on the entire board.
I'm sorry for the "horrible" booking that results in 200-post voting topics and close matches every week.
I'm sorry that if I wanted to I could turn UCA back into the irrelevant mess it was when I joined, but I don't because I love this place and I want it to be good.
I'm sorry, Tom, for actually drafting Heavyweights in the draft. While you spent your time drafting lightweights despite not having a LW division - sorry about that.
I'm sorry, War, for wanting to help create a hot new superstar in eaed. The more, the better, and him beating you in his first match would have been awesome. But yeah you obviously have a divine right to the LW title so I'm sorry for doubting that.
I'm also sorry to War for not wanting to render irrelevant the official result of a PPV that the UCAniverse paid their hard-earned money for. "My bad".
I'm sorry that I'm better than you, eddv. That's just how things are. I understand why you have a chip on your shoulder about it.
I'm sorry that you hit your head, Haguile. You were actually a cool guy! You liked boybands and such! It's a shame you got amnesia and became lame.
I'm also sorry to you. That's right, you. I'm sorry that I've failed. I'm sorry that miscreants like eddv are running around taking up your time. There's only so much I can do as a GM, and while I could easily strip eddv of his title that would be an insult to every future champion. When he loses it it will be a glorious day for this brand, but he has to actually lose it first. I am sorry about that.
I am sorry about Haguile in general; I haven't fired him because I know I can wake him up, turn him back into the powerhouse he once was. It'll happen eventually and you'll get back the Hag you know and love, not this loser.
I'm sorry that Sess is a little over-aggressive. I understand it might offend some viewers; he is not literally going to turn Ruin into a bloodbath. Or at least, I don't think he is going to...
I'm sorry for War. In the end, War is one hell of a competitor. He is a douche, he is full of s***, he is whiny, he is wrong, he is snide, but in the ring he is one of the finest LWs in the world. I can't afford to just let talent like that slip through my fingers, even if I personally don't like him all that much.
So all in all, I'm sorry for my "terrible" booking that is one of the only reasons UCA is still standing today. I'm sorry that some of UCA's competitors wanted to be the big fish in a small pond and I came along to make the pond bigger. I'm just sorry.
What I'm not sorry for is the absolute beating I am going to dish out to KP on Ruin, in revenge for the total horses*** that was that match.
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Luster Reloaded 7:37pm
THE CALLOUT