Board 8 > My father said he'd only accept me being an atheist if I beat him at fencing

(+) Yeah! (+)

He's good at fencing, he does it at his country club all the time. I've never really practiced. What should I do?

Butter the floor

It's actually good advice this time

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You probably can't win if he's got that much more experience. This sounds like a challenge he made specifically to taunt you with the knowledge that he won't accept it.

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I'm a fencer, and I'm a big fan of gambling personal belief. What type of weapon does he favour? Foil, épée, or sabre?

_BALLIN_

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As a fencer, my suggestion is to challenge him to a trial by combat instead.

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##Alec
Congrats to Guru champ SuperNiceDog! All hail our Guru overlord.

There's no way you can win. Not only does he have more experience, but he also has God on his side. Heathen.

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My advice is to not care if he accepts it or not.

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Congrats, SuperNiceDog.

OK, here's what you do. Accept his challenge, and when he says, "Engarde," you pull out a derringer and shoot him.

Strahax
Strahax
Strahax
Strahax
Strahax

You could find a way to lace his pre-match drink with a strong sedative, so that as the duel begins he begins to lose consciousness. Then you can take advantage and hit him really hard with the sword and make it seem like you knocked him out.

Then he has to accept you as an atheist and accept that you owned him in his own sport. You will officially be the man of the house.

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If he uses foils or sabres, you've already lost. You'll have no idea how "right of way" rules work. I'm not going to even try to explain it. Try and get him to duel you with an épée, possibly by goading him. "If you're so good, use my weapon of choice!". That sort of thing.

There is no "right of way" with épées, so you have a chance to win on gimmicks and youthful reaction times. A slim chance, but hey. Try and borrow a "French grip" sword instead of a "pistol grip" sword. They've fallen out of favour in recent years, but it will extend your reach slightly, and I doubt you'll miss the precision much.

Your goal will be to hit your dad, anywhere, before he hits you, on reaction basically. Practice controlling space. I find fighting games to be not a bad tool for this. Practice walking in the proper fencing manner, it's easy. Practice extending your arm without moving your shoulders visibly. Be prepared to thrust like a madmen when you see your dad move towards you. If you're lucky, you'll get enough fluke shots in to win a very, very short match.

To that end, I suggest a lucky totem of your choice, and prayer. Oh wait.

He uses sabres when he fences. Also, he told me if he beats me I have to get re-baptized.

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From: ExThaNemesis | #013
You could find a way to lace his pre-match drink

We saw how that plot worked in Hamlet

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##Alec
Congrats to Guru champ SuperNiceDog! All hail our Guru overlord.

_BALLIN_ posted...
He uses sabres when he fences. Also, he told me if he beats me I have to get re-baptized.

Yeah, because getting re-baptized will totally force you to believe in God.

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Guys, this is a joke topic.

Also, I swear I've seen this before...

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This is a good topic

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Pray for help. If God helps you be an atheist, then your dad will have to accept you!

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What you do is kick him in the junk, then go ahead and stab him while he's in pain. Feel free to point out that years of movie Flynning took attention from what swordfighting was *really* like

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Even if this is a joke topic, it's a pretty awesome one.

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Sceptilesolarbeam posted...
Even if this is a joke topic, it's a pretty awesome one.

No, it isn't. It's not even close to hilarious.

SOMEBODY THROW A PIE OR SOMETHING!

From: mnkboy907 | #008
There's no way you can win. Not only does he have more experience, but he also has God on his side. Heathen.

I laughed at this more than I should've

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Move along fellas...

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My advice is to put lead in the glove you slap him with.

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Chrono1219

This sounds like the set up to a sitcom episode, except it's atheism acceptance at stake, not doing chores for a month or something.

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SuperNiceDog: Guru winner

Get some planks of wood, a bunch of nails, and buckets of paint.

Whoever builds the best fence wins.

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Strahax stole another topic, huh?

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From: Ed Bellis | #009
I totally expected that topic title to be leading into a punchline. I'm very disappointed in you, strange alt I've never seen before.

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