Board 8 > XIII's 2nd Board 8 Battle: ~The 2nd Topic~ ~Top 20~ [B8B2] [T2] [T20]

(+) Yeah! (+)

XIII_sucks

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Bunny... :3
http://img.imgcake.com/baronvontoast/0413121622bjpguh.jpg

I will not suck when I post it tonight.

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http://img806.imageshack.us/img806/7351/xiiirocks.jpg

Don't worry Gen, Maniac was completely killed last time and returned. Maybe Dewott can join him as resurrected fire fighters in the next battle!

But more importantly...
The gaping hole in ExTha's stomach continued to bleed all over the place, and Minio jumped through it, laughing maniacally.

You owe me another Royalties check XIII!

--
(Maniac64 at work)
All the proteins, vitamins, and carbs of your grandma's best turkey dinner, plus 15% alcohol.

its obvious my sandwich had magic powers and I am going to somehow return and win =P

--
XBL GT: Demon Ninja X2
"There comes a time in every man's or woman's life where they have to make **** up to cover their ass." - Hazama

Oh yeah. Dammit.

--
XIII_rocks, the cream of XIII fanboyism.

Still rooting for TOUGH BEETLE to make a revival

--
yE frE me Kweku Ananse Papa
me:http://img235.imageshack.us/img235/1508/masterplumgm3.jpg

XIII_rocks posted...

I will not suck when I post it tonight.

Hey, guess who still sucks! I'll give you one clue: he rallies.

XFD

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Bunny... :3
http://img.imgcake.com/baronvontoast/0413121622bjpguh.jpg

It's still tonight in american time dammit

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"I am the best in the world at everything I do, and I don't have to write it on the back of a T-Shirt to prove it, because I AM it." - Chris Jericho

It's "tomorrow" in Eastern and Central Time actually. And I'm in Eastern, so you lose! Good day to you, sir!

--
Bunny... :3
http://img.imgcake.com/baronvontoast/0413121622bjpguh.jpg

Chapter 34

Excalibur's ascent caught the eye of the perplexed Minio.
"...Oh. Jesus christ," she said softly. "Frosty, baby, could you go and absolutely destroy Regaro for me? Even if you don't kill him, take his other arm, both his legs, stuff like that."
Unbeknownst to either, the barely-conscious ExTha's eyes widened.
"But I killed him!"
"Clearly not. His sword is going to rejoin him. So I'd go do it now."

Commomourne left without another word.

* * *

In the supply room, Regaro came to. He had thought he was dead. Certainly his left side was in a lot of pain, since he was armless - but the bleeding had stopped. He was conscious and fully aware of things, despite his pain. He knew not what to do now, though; Excalibur was gone and he was weaponless. He would have to take out Comm and Minio on his own like this.

It was then that an amazing thing happened; Excalibur crashed through the hole that Reg himself had made in the cargo area and landed right next to him. It then fused with Reg's severed arm, becoming part of him.

Reg's vitality instantly soared - and not a moment too soon, as Comm stormed into the room.

"REG! I KNOW YOU'RE IN HERE!"
"Yes, Comm, I am!" Excalibur allowed him to throw his voice. Comm whirled around, searching for Reg here...there...everywhere!
"Because of this game my dearest love, Panthera, died. Because of this game, my arm has been replaced with a sword. I'm sick of your s***. I'm going to kill you and leave this place. It offends my knighthood that both you and that F***ING KITTEN continue to exist!"
Commomourne laughed softly.
"PANTHERA WAS A GUY! HE WAS A GUY IN A DRESS WHO YOU DELUDED YOURSELF INTO THINKING WAS A GIRL FOR YOU TO SAVE!"
Reg sighed.
"No, I knew Panthera LONG before this game. You're right that Panthera was once a man, but he underwent a sex-change operation long ago. It was botched....and Panth underwent hypnosis to convince himself it had never happened. One day, I caught him in a dress, as if the hypnosis was wearing off...and then suddenly we were both here."
Comm was silent.

"So you see, I'm not cr-wait a second." Reg paid Manaic his loyalties from my accidental use of ...that word. "where was I? Oh yeah. I'm not crazy, and thanks to this game, my favourite person in the world died. I now exist solely to take revenge on those who did this to me."
Comm broke his silence. "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO KILLED PANTHERA!"
"SHUT UP! I'LL END YOU!" screamed Reg, fuelled by anger and his inherent sense of nobility. Reg exploded out of the supply boxes he was buried under and Comm had no chance to react. They cascaded down onto him, burying him there.

Comm obviously wasn't dead, but Reg had been given more than enough time to escape.

Reg stormed into the cockpit and Minio said "man Comm that took you a while, I-oh. Hi Reg."
Reg prepared to decimate Minio.
"Wait! WAIT! Look!"
Minio pointed to the bloodied ExTha, the hole in his body still gaping.
"Kill HIM! Kill him and you win this game and ESCAPE this world forever!"
Regaro considered. He could win...and go back to his normal world...his normal...Pantheraless world. Reg's brow furrowed. It'd be Pantheraless because of this...f***ing...Kitten. Reg's breathing quickened. It shallowed. He pulsed with rage, with fury. His Excalibur-arm seemed to also turn slightly red with raw anger. Minio backed away, before making a lunge for any random button on the dashboard that might save her.

She failed to hit any of them. Reg was across the room in seconds and, with the increased power he had by being one with Excalibur, caught up to the fleeing Minio. She was destroyed by Reg; decimated, cut apart, blasted to smithereens by the Excalibur's awesome power and Reg's incandesent rage.

--
k

Comm chose this moment to burst into the bridge, having recovered from the surprise box attack.

Comm took one look at the scene, and then looked at Reg, who grinned triumphantly, almost psychotically.

The Frostmourne lost its cool, quite literally - the cigar in its mouth incinerated from the sheer force of its anger. The Frostmourne, and Comm's cold, dead eyes, glared at Regaro.
"You son of a b****. That kitten was my one true love. My one ticket to happiness. And you ruined it! You bastard!"
"Doesn't feel good, does it?"
Commomourne said no more and leapt at Reg, knocking various items over as the Frostmourne swung wildly. Reg steeled himself to resist the undisciplined, crazy attack; whereas on the bridge the good guys had been attacking at random, here it was Commourne who had lost his efficient, robotic movements. It evened the odds.
Regaro blocked more and more attacks, with Excalibur seemingly moving on its own. Comm tried to drain power but the Excalibur resisted that, too. Something had changed; even Reg was surprised by what his sword was doing.

The frustrated Frostmourne's frustration seemed to explode, as the attacks became frenzied and ridiculous. Reg was struggling to keep up with the movements of his own sword - especially since the sword was actually one of his arms at this point - as he desperately sought to defend and defend. An attack that could have destroyed the moon was instantly negated by the Excalibur's power. Commomourne roared in fury.

"I WILL F***ING DESTROY YOU. AND THEN I WILL F***ING KILL YOU AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN. IN A HUNDRED DIFFERENT WAYS. I WILL IMPREGNATE YOU WITH A CHILD, WAIT 9 MONTHS, AND THEN KILL IT IN FRONT OF YOU. THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WILL BE YOU DYING I WILL EDGIHDHAUGGHGHHHHHHH DIE. JUST F***ING DIE!"
"Someone's mad," panted Reg.
"HROAWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

The Frostmourne exploded in anger. Into literal smithereens. Reg shrugged and looked around, preparing to decapitate Comm - who looked, briefly, sane.
"HAHA FOOLED YOU! THINGS DON'T EXPLODE IN RAGE YOU IDIOT!" The Frostmourne instantly reformed and lunged at Reg, who dodged at the last second.
"DIE! F***ING DIE! I SWEAR TO GOD, I-" Commomourne stopped midsentence and dropped his voice. "Oops."
Turning around, Comm repelled Reg's attacks one-handed as he looked at ExTha, who was slumped on the floor. But his eyes had widened and his shackles had burnt away.

ExTha, still with a huge hole in his stomach, stood.
Commomourne, still deflecting attacks, backed away in panic towards the exit, but it was useless. Tebow magic transcended such things.
Commodore's head was instantly removed from his body, and his remains teleported to some kind of hell. He was dead (obviously).

--
k

!!

--
Bunny... :3
http://img.imgcake.com/baronvontoast/0413121622bjpguh.jpg

The Frostmourne clattered to the floor, its spirit quickly draining away. "Hah!" shouted Reg. He ran to pick it up, wanting to throw it out of the window to the deadly fire below.
"Don't pick that thing up," said ExTha.
"Oh yeah," Reg replied, approaching with caution. "Oh, I've got an idea."
Reg reached for a button that said "hatch open". He pressed it, and a hatch in the back of the cockpit opened - a trapdoor of sorts. Reg walked back over to near the Frostmourne and poked it with Excalibur, rather than himself wanting to drop it out of the nearby hatch.
This was a very, very stupid move.

"That was a very, very stupid thing to do," said the Frostmourne as soon as the two swords made contact.
The Frostmourne drained all of the Excalibur's power. All of it. In just a split second. Reg yelped in pain.
Reg withdrew the sword-arm quickly but the damage was done. "Doesn't matter," said Reg. "You're still useless without a host."
"True. Even now the power from that sword of yours is draining away. But -" the Frostmourne again lit a cigar - "it's enough for me to teleport out of this hellish reality to look for another one."
"NO!"
"YES! Maybe some other poor soul will pick me up...and believe me, you're the one I'll be looking for when that happens."
The Frostmourne was gone. It had disappeared instantly, leaving nothing but a trail of cigar smoke behind.

"Dammit," said Reg forlornly. At least they didn't have to worry about him for now, though. Reg went over to check ExTha.
"Thanks," he said.
"You're welcome," ExTha. "You did a good job up there..."
"My sword did all the work." Reg looked at it sadly - now it was merely sharp metal, weighing one side of him down. Nothing more. The Frostmourne had taken care of that.

"Not ALL of the work," said ExTha with a smile. "You didn't hear because you were in the supply room, but Minio took the saviour's name in vain. It's not quite bad as taking the lord's name in vain but it's pretty close, and it provided me with enough power to give your sword a little boost. It was a clutch situation, and my Tebow powers work better in clutch situations, so Excalibur was responded magnificently. I suppose the combined power was enough to match that thing."
"...I see."

"Now, we should get out of here," said ExTha. "I have a hole in my stomach I kind of want to get filled."
"hmm," said Reg. He pressed the same button, that, unbeknownst to him, Minio had pressed earlier - he one marked "leave the game to teleport out of this place and back to the normal world".

It didn't work.

Reg pressed it again.

It still didn't work.

"uhh...do we...have to kill each other? That doesn't seem right after all this..."


Next time: the absolute final chapter!

--
"I trolled all of you." - Chris Jericho

No real changes to this but reposting

Alive: 2

ExTha (Tebow's 4th quarter magic)
Reg (Excalibur)

Dead: 50

Colegreen_c12 (Bomb): Ambushed by RX7
MZero11 (Skateboard): Testes ripped off by Plum's Tough Beetle
tyder21 (sandpaper): Impaled by Robazoid
AfroSquirrel (pocketful of Portable holes): Decapitated by GenSag's Dewott's Shell Blade
BBallman7 (Magnum and Morningstar): Head blown off by JeffreyRaze
GrapeFruitKing (Nail Gun): Strangled to death by vcharon's flag
Han (Blaster): Decapitated by Dante Brogue Kick
bbbtime (Acid Gun): Slipped on dowolf banana peel; head melted off by own acid
MysteriousStan (Oddjob's top hat): Lightning from the Master Sword hit him, accidentally decapitated himself with hat
Emporer_Kazbar (fake can of peanuts w/ spring snakes): Distracted by MWC's head exploding, ran through by fdr's sword
dowolf (Banana peel launcher): Crushed by collapsing rubble when Blairville swung the longsword
Blairville (loooongsword): Choked to death by ngirl while being offensively chanted at
Robazoid (spear): BBallman landed on him from a second-story window, decapitated him
azuarc (pogo stick w/ blades under foot pegs and light enough to be swung): Blown up by Caelus' war-elk
RX7InfinitiIII (Dual Hidden Blades): Killed by a stray bullet from SpeedYoshi
Nee (pear scented anti-bacterial hand soap): Stabbed through head from behind by Niowrath
Dante (Standard Def. TV set): Stabbed by Mad Bellis
Sir Chris (Scum Sir Chris' cunning/ruthlessness): Stabbed by Mad Bellis
Ed Bellis (saveus_Maria's knife from b8b1): Talked out of Mad Bellis mode by Occam's Razor logic, stabbed with his own knife
Chronic (Revolver/Machete): Shot in the face by mcflubbin after Jedi assistance
mcflubbin (bow/arrow): Head destroyed by MSG
Haguile (BBallman holding a grudge): Choked to death by GTM's title
GTM (UCA Melee Mayhem Title): Decapitated by CO's handaxes
todbot (people): Incinerated by Arcanine
GenesisSaga (Dewott/Arcanine): Wedge used portal gun and tricked Arcanine into hitting her w/ flamethrower
SpeedYoshi (2 Golden Guns): Weapon colliding with GANON's caused explosion
GANON (Midas Glove): Weapon colliding with SpeedYoshi's caused explosion
cody (Omega Quack-O-Blitzer): Destroyed by rogue ducknix
Psycho_Kenshin (Lawgiver): Head melted off by PK2000's pocket sand
CrimsonOcean (Handaxes): Killed by Maria's knife and bartz's phallus
Kingbartz (Giant Phallus): Blown up by JeffRaze detonating the bomb set by Colegreen
saveus_maria (Occam's Razor): Shot in the face by the passing JeffRaze
firefdr (MWC-ified Master Sword): Decapitated from behind by Panth, during fight with Reg
Wigs (Boombox, plays nothing but Phil Collins): Stabbed in the back by Pram
Pirateking2000 (Sandwich/Pocket Sand): Fell through a Wedge portal set on a high building
vcharon (American Flag): Head broken by plum's tough beetle
Ayvuir (Katana): ngirl sliced his head off with his own katana
Cobain (Lightsabers): So dead
eddv (Lawndarts): Exploded by MSG falling on him Apoca-Fists first
JeffRaze (Magnum/Riot Shield): Killed by a Speed Force-Boosted BBallman7
Silverliner182V (GameFAQs Flash): Accidentally destroyed when MSG fell through one of Wedges' Portals
MSG (Apoca-Fists): Sent to hell by ExTha
ngirl (Newcastle Shirt/offensive chants): Face melted by ExTha
Panthera (Frying pan): Landed on by oversized Regaro
Caelus (Charles Barkley, Cybernetic War-Elk): Head ripped off by tough beetle
masterplum (Tough Beetle): Beetle destroyed by Niowrath, then sliced by Niowrath and blown up by ExTha
Pram (Caladbolg): Beaten by Reg in duel to the death
Wedge (Portal Gun): Blown up by one of Charles Barkley's Grenades that ExTha could not throw
Raka (Hannah Montana Guitar): See above
Reg (Excalibur): Arm sliced off by Comm, thrown into heavy supply boxes and crushed
Nio (Niowrath): Killed by Comm channelling ExTha's power

More views

more news

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More Jews

what genesis said lol

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I never said anything about banging her. Also, I wouldn't bang her. -LusterSoldier (on a fat pageant mom whose daughter chugs Mt. Dew)

^I hear they're really good at writing! XIII could totally use some! :D

/stereotyping

It ends

soon

like tonight or tomorrow maybe

--
Official Board 8 ~RECORD SETTER~

maybe

--
Boko United - Geriatric Titanium Mustache
Guru Taken Miraculously by SuperNiceDog

hopefully

--
(Maniac64 at work)
All the proteins, vitamins, and carbs of your grandma's best turkey dinner, plus 15% alcohol.

XIII_rocks posted...

It ends

soon

like tonight or tomorrow maybe

Tsk! Yea right, heard that one before.

Well now you are using reverse psychology to provoke me into doing it

Meaning I now cannot as a point of pride.

--
XIII_rocks, the cream of XIII fanboyism.

Using me using reverse psychology as an excuse to be lazy?

Pathetic...

*shrugs*

--
XIII_rocks, the cream of XIII fanboyism.

I'd be lying if I said I was surprised.

--
Fennec... :3
http://fennecfox.biz/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Fennec-Fox-Having-Fun.jpg

Well I specifically said I wasn't going to chapterize

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http://i48.tinypic.com/2q8zwvs.png

no update yesterday

what a depressing birthday

--
Boko United - Geriatric Titanium Mustache
Guru Taken Miraculously by SuperNiceDog

Poor GTM

--
(Maniac64 at work)
All the proteins, vitamins, and carbs of your grandma's best turkey dinner, plus 15% alcohol.

From: GTM | #481
no update yesterday

what a depressing birthday
Oh what why didn't you tell me I totally would have updated

--
http://i48.tinypic.com/1045474.gif

He's totally lying!

(Prolly not actually. I just wanted to bump this)

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Fennec... :3
http://fennecfox.biz/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Fennec-Fox-Having-Fun.jpg

oh hey im graduating today wheres my graduation present

--
Boko United - Geriatric Titanium Mustache
Guru Taken Miraculously by SuperNiceDog

GTM speaks the truth!

Don't be stingy two days in a row, bro!

--
Fennec... :3
http://fennecfox.biz/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Fennec-Fox-Having-Fun.jpg

today is my bar mitzvah AND the day I retire, wheres my bar mitzvah/retirement present

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Boko United - Geriatric Titanium Mustache
Guru Taken Miraculously by SuperNiceDog

Okay, he's lying now.

But for the record he was serious about yesterday being his graduation day. I saw him mention it elsewhere. Dunno if the other day was his bday or not.

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Fennec... :3
http://fennecfox.biz/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Fennec-Fox-Having-Fun.jpg

My birthday's coming up in two days, XIII. Know what would make a rad gift?

--
Fennec... :3
http://fennecfox.biz/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Fennec-Fox-Having-Fun.jpg

Alright yeah it's time.

--
"I am the best in the world at everything I do, and I don't have to write it on the back of a T-Shirt to prove it, because I AM it." - Chris Jericho

AT LAST!

... I didn't Jinx it, did I?

--
My Little Phineas and Ferb: Summer is Magic!
Aww, I lost to SuperNiceDog, Winner of the Rivalry Rumble Guru Contest

^Nah...

--
Fennec... :3
http://fennecfox.biz/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Fennec-Fox-Having-Fun.jpg

Chapter 35

"I guess we will have to kill each other..." said ExTha. "Welp."
Reg raised Excalibur, preparing to decapitate ExTha. Likewise, ExTha tried to power up what little Tebow power he had left.

Suddenly an almighty voice filled the room. "Minio? Did you finish the game yet?"
Reg and ExTha paused. "Uh. Hello?"
"Who is this?" asked the voice.
Reg did the talking. "It's, uh...Reg. And ExTha. And Minio's dead."
"Dead? ...huh. And would you two be...her assistants?"
"No, we're competitors in the game."

The voice was silent for a moment. "Oh really? And you haven't killed each other yet?"
"No, we were thinking of getting on that right now so one of us could get out of here, but..."
"And Minio's dead, you say?"
"Yes."
The voice was silent again. After a minute or so of Reg and ExTha both standing, preparing to attack each other, the voice said: "...well, whatever."
There was a snap, as if someone had just clicked their fingers.

ExTha and Reg were now in an office. Across from them sat something god-like. A plaque on his desk read "Mr. God."
"Basically here's how it is, chaps. You both win. You can split the prize money. Minio's dead, so the entire game is basically a washout at this point."
"Really?"
"We don't have to kill each other?"
"Nope," said Mr. God, expressionless.
Excitedly, ExTha and Reg hugged.

"Here's your money," said Mr. God, giving them both a briefcase containing 500 million XIII funbucks.

"Awesome! Thanks, Mr. God!"
"What about this hole in my stomach?" asked ExTha.
"Injuries will be healed when you get back home."
"Cool."

Alright, well that's board 8 battle over again. Thanks everyone. Appreciate your winners - Reg and ExThaNemesis! Turn, Reg and ExTha. Turn and wave to the 3 or 4 readers who haven't abandoned this trainwreck! The audience appreciates your effort, fictionalized versions of b8 users!

Good men. Oh, and they bowed, too. How nice of them. Anyway. See you next time!

Joint Winners: (for real this time) Reg and ExTha

--
XIII_rocks, the cream of XIII fanboyism.

How anti-climactic.

--
Fennec... :3
http://fennecfox.biz/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Fennec-Fox-Having-Fun.jpg

Next time on B8B2 I magically reappear in the story due to the magic sandwich and blow up the building. That or just sitting watching the fight while snacking on the rest of the sandwich.

--
XBL GT: Demon Ninja X2
"There comes a time in every man's or woman's life where they have to make **** up to cover their ass." - Hazama

"Wait, no, that f***ing sucks," said the Audience.
"Yeah, we didn't wait all this time for there to be TWO winners!" said IRL!GenesisSaga.
"WE WANT BLOOD!" Roared IRL!Maniac (and yes, I paid In-Game!Maniac the necessary royalties).

Mr. God looked at ExTha and Reg. Then at the audience. He sighed and summoned me. Myself and God chatted for a little in low whispers, discussing things such as UCA and the identity of the Rally Man, but mostly the current situation. Eventually, something was decided and I teleported out of the room and out of the story.

Mr. God sighed again. "Sorry, guys, but I'm kind of in a bind here."
"No." said Reg.
"NO!" exclaimed ExTha.
"Yes. Sorry!"
Mr. God clicked his fingers and suddenly ExTha and Reg were back in the city, which had been completely restored.
Reg's swordarm was fixed. The hole in ExTha's stomach - gone. Excalibur was fully powered, including the Tebow magic it had received.

"We won't kill each other," said ExTha.
Mr. God sighed. "Then I will kill both of you, then your families, and everyone on your planet."
"...that seems excessive."
"Well, yeah, but better than the audience being pissed off."
Reg screamed in fury.
"Alright, then. Sorry, ExTha. Let's do this?"
"Why are you apologizing to me? You're going to die, after all." ExTha cast all thoughts of Reg as an ally from his mind. He would face death in a Tebow-styled way.
There was a pause as tumbleweed blew by to ramp up the awesomeness of this final duel.

"By the way Reg," said ExTha, "I was the one who killed your parents."
"That doesn't make sense."
"I know, I just wanted to say that."

Reg and ExTha screamed as they launched into each other with everything they had.

NEXT TIME: THE ABSOLUTE ABSOLUTE ABSOLUTE I REALLY MEAN IT THIS TIME FINAL CHAPTER

--
By "next time" I mean "hopefully tomorrow"

this was such a gift card marriage present

(yes my birthday was indeed the 18th, yay june birthdays)

--
Boko United - Geriatric Titanium Mustache
Guru Taken Miraculously by SuperNiceDog

i was named board 8's hunkiest colombian

wheres the next chapter

--
Boko United - Geriatric Titanium Mustache
Guru Taken Miraculously by SuperNiceDog

^Up your bum

--
Fennec... :3
http://fennecfox.biz/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Fennec-Fox-Having-Fun.jpg

XIII_sucks

--
Fennec... :3
http://fennecfox.biz/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Fennec-Fox-Having-Fun.jpg