Board 8 > All-Purpose Wrestling Topic 189: I hear you like Sheamus

(+) Yeah! (+)

that and he comes across as either really likeable or extremely hateable.

--
Dr voltchball - best in the world.

I'm shocked and impressed that they are keeping the "Ohno's elbows are the heirs of Misawa's" gimmick from the indies.

--
Thank you, Eddie Guerrero.
http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/photo_large/public/photo/image/2012/04/33_Moscow_04112012jg_02128.jpg

So, uh... all traces of the FCW March 25 and April 1 shows is nowhere to be found on the internet. At all. I don't know how this happened. So instead I will summarize spoilers.

FCW - March 25, 2012

Seth Rollins won an 8 man over the top rope battle royal to become the number one contender.

8) Sakamoto
7) Brad Maddox
6) Big E. Langston
5) Mike Dalton
4) Bo Rotundo
3) Jason Jordan
2) Rick Victor
1) Seth Rollins

Richie Steamboat cuts a promo where he says that he was impressed by Cesaro and will let him have a rematch despite him cheating.

Alexander Rusev beat CJ Parker

Antonio Cesaro cuts a promo where he says that the medal should be his and that he accepts the rematch challenge.

Kenneth Cameron beats Mr. Jacked Nick Rogers

Then Seth Rollins beats Leo Kruger for the Florida Heavyweight Championship. ...Damn, I wish I could've seen that.

FCW - April 1, 2012

Seth Rollins cuts a promo that I mercifully missed where he says Mike Dalton and Leo Kruger should face each other to see who should be number one contender.

Leo Kruger wins against Mike Dalton to become number one contender.

Abraham Washington comes out and says that he has signed Corey Graves and Jake Carter, and they will become the new Tag Team Champions.

Cue a match between The Rotundos vs Corey Graves and Jake Carter, in which Abe interferes by smashing Bo Rotundo in the knee with a cane and that allows Corey Graves to lock in his rolling leglock that is very badass. Bo Rtundo taps and Corey Graves & Jake Carter are the new tag champs! Alright! About a month ago, Bo Rotundo was said to have been arrested. I guess that ended up coming back around on him.

LMFAO! Summer Rae tells Raquel Diaz that the Queen of FCW thing isn't working, so she leaves her crown there. XD No more Queen of FCW title, thank god. That was so worthless. Then Antonio Cesaro comes in and is very sweet to Summer, and then she tells him that his match with Richie Steamboat will be 20 minutes long.

Seth Rollins beats Leo Kruger in a rematch for the Florida Heavyweight Championship. He has to hit the Avada Kadavra twice for the win. Cool then. Kinda sad I missed these two shows. But oh well!

--
Xbox GT: PrivateBiscuit1
Down with Zhang. Let there be Biscuit!

Better that than have Punk's elbow be the heir to Macho man.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

--
Dr voltchball - best in the world.

This week's WWE Download has a joke so good I literally wept.

--
Thank you, Eddie Guerrero.
http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/photo_large/public/photo/image/2012/04/33_Moscow_04112012jg_02128.jpg

Goldust got fired for scripting this spot:





apparently there was a lot of buzz backstage about it being a dangerous spot and people were worried about Yoshi's safety

Wow. You know, that makes sense, mostly because Titus didn't actually powerbomb him. That could've been bad.

--
Xbox GT: PrivateBiscuit1
Down with Zhang. Let there be Biscuit!

I read Titus as Tidus and wondered why Jecht and Tidus decided to become FCW wrestlers.

--
Dr voltchball - best in the world.

voltch posted...
I read Titus as Tidus and wondered why Jecht and Tidus decided to become FCW wrestlers.

Jecht would clearly go straight to WWE and dominate.

--
(Maniac64 at work)
All the proteins, vitamins, and carbs of your grandma's best turkey dinner, plus 15% alcohol.

Jecht would be an awesome face and Tidus an awesome heel.

Sometimes I wonder if wrestling is backwards.

--
Ace Detective in Sir Chris' Police
http://i40.tinypic.com/avgffm.jpg

Rad Link 5 posted...
Jecht would be an awesome face and Tidus an awesome heel.

Sometimes I wonder if wrestling is backwards.

Even in the game Jecht was obviously a Tweener.

Sin ain't got no cuts!

Sin ain't got no cuts!

He big!

He strong!

But Sin ain't got no cuts!

--
Xbox GT: PrivateBiscuit1
Down with Zhang. Let there be Biscuit!

JECHT SHOT!

ONE TWO TWOOOOOOOOOOOO!

--
Dr voltchball - best in the world.

FCW - April 8, 2012

William Regal and Chris Russo on commentary again.

We start with Byron Saxton vs Kenneth Cameron. Byron Saxton is just a delight all the time. Oh, and Conor O'Brien is back now, and is ringside for this match! Kenneth Cameron is losing his mind, waiting for the match to start. Byron is telling Kenneth to calm down. lol He gets speared the second the bell rings. lmao Byron is crawling away and trying to grab the apron just to get away. This is rich. Byron starts to gain the upperhand when Conor O'Brien screams and the lights go off. Then... commercials.

...And that's all there is of that I guess.

Next up is Paige & Rick Victor w/ Sofia Cortez vs Audrey Marie (so f***ing hot all the time) & Aiden English (so f***ing English all the time). I know nothing about Paige, but she's very solid. Like, moreso than the usual FCW diva. Rick Victor is showing a lot more personality and flash with his moves. This makes me very happy. lmao Okay, so Sofia gets involved and then Raquel gets involved. The referee does not throw this match and does not try to get either girl out of here. What the f***? Anyway, this was a good match, even with that ridiculousness. And you remember all those Canadian Lifters that Regal was talking about during Victor's last match? Regal does not f*** around in calling these Canadian Lifters. Rick Victor nails one on Aiden English in the corner, pulls him to the center of the ring, then hits a spinning one that looks BRUTAL. He gets the pinfall for his team.

OH GOD THEY GAVE SETH ROLLINS A MIC DUCK AND COVER! Actually, surprisingly not too bad. But his voice annoys me for some reason. It would help if Seth Rollins was anything more than a generic face though. He hypes up Richie Steamboat vs Antonio Cesaro and says either one of them deserves a title shot. "And I'm ready... to take on... the woooooorld." Oh god, he was doing so good until then.

Next is a segment where James Bronson talks to Summer Rae backstage. Summer Rae is terrible. It's a first ever Tap Out match between Bronson and Dean Ambrose. Oh hey, haven't seen Ambrose for a month. At least they remembered Bronson wants to make him tap! Anyway, Summer Rae is like "Did you get my memo? Are you going to make Dean Ambrose tap out? Are you? Are you going to make him tap out?" She's like an annoying little dog. Bronson says "I have a memo for you. I'm going to make Dean Ambrose tap out. And I'm not stopping there." I hope to god that was intentional, because that reply was hilarious. Regal comes in next and Summer says to him in such a whiny voice, "Williaaaam when are you going to face Ambrose? The network is on my baaaack." Oh. My. God. He says he will in due time, but Ambrose is right behind him. Regal tells Ambrose that the best things come to those who wait and walks away singing. Well then.

Now we have a Kassius Ohno promo, in which I can't really take him seriously any longer because he acts like some basement dweller on Youtube. Apparently KASSIUS BASHES and leaves his opponents with GASHES. ...Man. All kinds of awkward pauses here. They will scream OH NO! And he will scream... OH YES! Okay, I was fine with the KO and Ohno parts... but this is getting too corny to take seriously. He needs serious work.

--
Xbox GT: PrivateBiscuit1
Down with Zhang. Let there be Biscuit!

Next is a promo with Husky Harris and his new gimmick as Bray Wyatt along with Eli Cottonwood who stands there menacingly. Not sure why they had him change gimmicks just one week after he lost the titles. He talked about how his daddy sucks and how he ain't no white trash. He's better than everyone and doesn't want anyone to be that first guy who faces him. And then he says that Tiiiiiime is on his siiiiiiiide. Also, I didn't know that about IRS. :( RIP IRS.

They kick out Chris Russo from commentary so we can have William Regal and JIM ROSS on commentary! Oh god yes! It's Richie Steamboat (c) vs Antonio Cesaro for the 15 Championship in a 20 minute Iron Man Match.

[William Regal and Jim Ross catch up on when JR gave him a mic for the first time in WCW 19 years ago]
JR: It certainly doesn't seem that long.
Regal: I know. I've gone through fifteen wives in that time.

JR: And another armdrag takedown by Steamboat. ...Gosh, I can't remember how many times I've said that in my career.

Anyway, Antonio Cesaro gets the first fall with a full body facebuster maneuver called the Gotch Style Neutralizer. It's 0-1 with 13 minutes left. So basically, a lot of good wrestling happens for a long time. At the 4 minute mark, Cesaro starts biding his time and trying to keep Richie out of the ring. Eventually, Steamboat skins the cat and then goes from a headscissors to a schoolboy and pins Cesaro with two minutes left! 1-1. Cesaro is just fantastic, btw. He's losing his mind now. Cesaro nails triple gutwrench suplexes and then tries another pin. Cesaro looks like he's about to win with his pop up European Uppercut.... but then Richie flails out of the ring as time runs out. Oh no! You know what I'm getting tired of? All of these 15 Championship matches ending in a tie in order to make both guys look good. Have one of them win for Christ sake. What's the point in not letting one of these guys get a final pin when they tied the last time even? I dunno. Cesaro knocks out Richie with another uppercut and holds up the 15 Championship.

Highlights:

Seth Rollins Promo -

Kassius Ohno Promo -

Bray Wyatt Promo -

Richie Steamboat vs Antonio Cesaro -

Wowza. Okay. You can see how Seth Rollins is on the mic now. You can see why Kassius Ohno is so indy that it hurts. And then you can see Husky Harris's new gimmick. And then you can see an awesome match between Steamboat and Cesaro.

--
Xbox GT: PrivateBiscuit1
Down with Zhang. Let there be Biscuit!

From: PrivateBiscuit1 | #114
But his voice annoys me for some reason

Welcome to Ring of Honor 2009-2010.

From: PrivateBiscuit1 | #115
Cesaro looks like he's about to win with his pop up European Uppercut.... but then Richie flails out of the ring as time runs out.

I laughed my ASS off when that happened. THAT is how you script ironic comeuppance after he tossed him out intentionally to stall earlier.

--
Thank you, Eddie Guerrero.
http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/photo_large/public/photo/image/2012/04/33_Moscow_04112012jg_02128.jpg

By the way XIII, I emailed the Extreme Rules log to you.

--
Ace Detective in Sir Chris' Police
http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/5783/3989110m.png

Thanks mang

--
"With Harry, it's cool. We don't speak a lot and he doesn't care if I smile or if I know who the next team we play is." - Benoit Assou-Ekotto

So UFC Bantamweight Champion Dominick Cruz tore his ACL and is out of his scheduled title defense against Urijah Faber, and CM Punk has offered to cut 70 pounds and fight Faber for the Interim Title.

...I'm only 95% sure that he's kidding.

--
Thank you, Eddie Guerrero.
http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/photo_large/public/photo/image/2012/04/33_Moscow_04112012jg_02128.jpg

Pft. Like Vince would let him, anyway.

--
Ace Detective in Sir Chris' Police
http://img2.imageshack.us/img2/5299/jackiekungfu1.gif

Simple math tells me that that means Punk is walking around today at 205, which means that if he was an MMA fighter, he would probably fight at Middleweight (185).

CM Punk vs. Chael Sonnen please.

--
Thank you, Eddie Guerrero.
http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/photo_large/public/photo/image/2012/04/33_Moscow_04112012jg_02128.jpg

Am I alone in thinking that Chris Hero talks like a lame e-fedder/Youtuber basement dweller though?

--
Xbox GT: PrivateBiscuit1
Down with Zhang. Let there be Biscuit!

From: PrivateBiscuit1 | #122
Am I alone in thinking that Chris Hero talks like a lame e-fedder/Youtuber basement dweller though?

He's a lot more natural in front of a camera than most people you'll find on YouTube!

--
Thank you, Eddie Guerrero.
http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/photo_large/public/photo/image/2012/04/33_Moscow_04112012jg_02128.jpg

CM Punk, we're upping the stakes! If I beat you, you will leave the WWE title scene, If I lose I will join TNA for the rest of my career!

--
Dr voltchball - best in the world.

Jakyl25 posted...
So UFC Bantamweight Champion Dominick Cruz tore his ACL and is out of his scheduled title defense against Urijah Faber

Dammit, this means that douchebag will be Bantamweight Champion for longer than necessary.

--
http://www.facebook.com/zerosignal
The photograph reflects, every streetlight a reminder; nightswimming deserves a quiet night

CM Punk's billed weight is 218, so that sounds about right.

Also

http://www.wrestlinginc.com/wi/news/2012/0507/552411/cm-punk/

CM Punk speaks out passionately about gay marriage. A fan disagrees in the most douchebaggy way possible. Punk tells him to kill himself.

Hope that doesn't put him in the Pukhouse.

--
Ace Detective in Sir Chris' Police
http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/1132/ss02b.jpg

Wrestling weights, haha.

--
Dr voltchball - best in the world.

From: Rad Link 5 | #126
Hope that doesn't put him in the Pukhouse.

eh I am always up for a Punk push

--
~Tommeri Uranius Bombaldi the Fourth, esq.
If you can read this, I'm probably posting from my phone or something!

I'm up for Punk pushing the guy off the edge of a cliff.

--
Still smilin'
:>

I really want to be caught up with FCW guys.

FCW - April 15, 2012

Now we have a commentary team of William Regal, Chris Russo, and JIM ROSS! Holy dooley.

First, Xavier Woods (with dreads), CJ Parker (still bad), & Jason Jordan (still vanilla) come out to the ring, all featuring terrible dubstep theme music. Abraham Washington comes by, being charismatic as hell and talking about how he's the Kingpin of FCW, bringing everyone the best that FCW has to offer, and he introduces Brad Maddox, Jake Carter, & Corey Graves. Man, Corey Graves and Jake Carter look so sublimely grunge together. So it's Xavier Woods, CJ Parker, & Jason Jordan vs Brad Maddox, Jake Carter, & Corey Graves.

Russo: Maybe Abe couldn't cut it as a full time wrestler in the ring. But you didn't hear it from me.
Regal: You'll hear it from me.

lol JR compares Brad Maddox to Eddie Gillbert.

JR: Well, it's not Vader time on this occasion for Jake Carter. (Get it?)

Xavier Woods is tagged into the match, and the firs thing I want to say is "Why is anyone else even wrestling in this match?" Just let Xavier Woods enter the ring and do all of his spots in about two minutes and then end it. Nothing is more entertaining. I don't need this mediocre foreplay. Xavier Woods nails the Lost in the Woods on Jake Carter for the win! Got to say, I didn't expect them to win at all.

Next up is Mike Dalton vs Sakamoto. So you remember when I said "Man, I hope to god that Tyson Kidd goes back to that awesome theme song he used in ECW since it was so awesome?" Well SAKAMOTO HAS IT NOW!



B****es better watch themselves now. If Sakamoto preceded coming out to the ring before Tensai in WWE to this song, nobody would give a f*** about Tensai and would be crapping themselves over how Sakamoto will be killing someone.

Regal: [Discusses what training schools are good to go to]
JR: And make sure that the training school is not located in a mobile home or anything with wheels. Stability is always good, and that's a stable hammerlock by Dalton.

Sakamoto is really good, btw. He hits Dalton with a flurry of palm strikes and then hits some of the strongest chops and slaps ever. Holy s***. Oh my lord. Sakamoto screamed and hit a sick throat that made me cringe upon seeing it. God damn. Booooo Dalton countered another one and nailed a his Impaler DDT for the win. I was pulling for Sakamoto here. Disappointed he didn't win.

Then there's a preview for Adam Mercer. "My name is Adam Mercer. The WWE is all about entertainment. I'm getting ready to change that." Hum. I guess it was pretty good. He's 19 years old and I don't think he'll be that good.

Next up is Raquel Diaz (c) vs Audrey Marie for the FCW Diva's Title. GOD AUDREY IS SO HOT!

Regal: I'm more broken than the Ten Commandments.

Wow, Audrey is full of fire and intense. I like it. It was better than the average Diva's match, but Raquel Diaz sucks and she won with a roll up with the tights.

Jiro vs Big E. Langston is up next. Jiro gonna die. Complete squash. Langston wins with the Big Ending in like, a minute. Boo.

We see the same Bray Wyatt promo again.

Next is Benecio Salazar vs Kassius Ohno.

Russo: And now we get to see the debut of Benecio Salazar! I'm probably doing a bad job of butchering the name.
JR: You're doing a great job of butchering the name.

Well, I don't know who Benecio Salazar is. But research says he is known in Mexico as El Hijo del Medico Asesino or Terror Negro. Not terribly impressed by Benecio, but at least Kassius showed a bit of aggression in this match for a change. He hit the rolling elbow for the win.

--
Xbox GT: PrivateBiscuit1
Down with Zhang. Let there be Biscuit!

And now the main event, James Bronson vs Dean Ambrose in a Tap Out Match. You must make your opponent tap out to win. Bronson looks intense. Meanwhile, Ambrose comes out and immediately attacks Bronson. Either Bronson is REALLY good at wrestling all of a sudden, or they're shooting right now, because Bronson has been countering any potential submissions by Dean Ambrose to perfection. Bronson is totally legit to me now for the first time. God damn. James Bronson countered the Knee Trembler and nailed a beautiful Exploder Suplex. He misses a roaring elbow and Dean counters it with the Knee Trembler, then locks in the Regal Stretch. Regal then gets up from commentary and walks away. Bronson taps (noooooooo) and then Ambrose goes looking for Regal. He cuts a promo in the back about how Regal just broke his heart and he knows he's all alone now. He says that Regal can't take away his match, meanwhile and.... yeah, this promo is too awesome and fantastic to paraphrase the rest of. I'll post it in the highlights.

Highlights:

Sakamoto vs Mike Dalton -

James Bronson vs Dean Ambrose + Dean Ambrose Promo -

So check out how sweet Sakamoto is. The dude is awesome. And then just check out how surprisingly kick ass James Bronson can be, and then that amazing Dean Ambrose promo.

--
Xbox GT: PrivateBiscuit1
Down with Zhang. Let there be Biscuit!

I hate the Invasion.

--
Dr voltchball - best in the world.

Steve Austin: The Face of WCW

--
Xbox GT: PrivateBiscuit1
Down with Zhang. Let there be Biscuit!

Ezekiel Jackson declares that he will be the Personification of Domination again.



I wonder if this will mean anything.

--
Xbox GT: PrivateBiscuit1
Down with Zhang. Let there be Biscuit!

E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!

--
Dr voltchball - best in the world.

Who's a better face for ECW than Stephanie McMahon?

--
Ace Detective in Sir Chris' Police
I assure you, my dear, all Ace Detectives are perfect gentlemen!

Chat: b8watchesraw

--
Xbox GT: PrivateBiscuit1
Down with Zhang. Let there be Biscuit!

In Punk We Trust

--
http://i.imgur.com/H7Tbg.jpg
http://card.psnprofiles.com/1/CaptainRockman.png

From: Rad Link 5 | #136
Who's a better face for ECW than Stephanie McMahon?

She should be the face for most things, tbqh.

--
http://img.imgcake.com/Xiiijpgen.jpg - Me, as drawn by Ayvuir (who is also a giant douche)

Holy ****.

Paul E Dangerously

**** yes

--
PotD's OFFICIAL King of Games!
The Choco. The Cream of Yuna Fanboyism.

What's weird is the very last thing we talked about before RAW was about the face of ECW.

--
Xbox GT: PrivateBiscuit1
Down with Zhang. Let there be Biscuit!

From: PrivateBiscuit1 | #142
What's weird is the very last thing we talked about before RAW was about the face of ECW.

Okay I confess, I'm actually a part of the WWE.

--
Ace Detective in Sir Chris' Police
http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/7972/tokidoandi3.jpg

WHAT'S YOUR HUSTLE?

--
Thank you, Eddie Guerrero.
http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/photo_large/public/photo/image/2012/04/33_Moscow_04112012jg_02128.jpg

- Ace can deliver promos. who knew?
- Punk can be given mics still. who knew?
- the LORD continues his assault.
- even super mark crowds will YES more than they'll do anything else, in time. very, very little time.
- Miz does a damn good promo AND does most of the work in a surprisingly decent match. he's back?
- really good tag match.
- tag titles exist and will prob be feuded soon.

and lastly...

- he was worth every dime.
he can fix this.


great Raw. matches, a LOT of storylines advanced upon with a ton of potential in a couple more. just realized too that every belt had a storyline continue today except for... Santino's. ...unless that was the Brodus match?

--
The King Wang.
Listen up Urinal Cake. I already have something that tells me if I'm too drunk when I pee on it: My friends. - Colbert.

Sheamus vs. ADR vs. Orton vs. Jericho is such a better match than Sheamus vs. ADR.

We all know about the supposed 35 appearances in Brock's contract (5 down, 30 to go!). This means that, counting every Raw and PPV as a potential appearance (lol Lesnar on SD), they need to find excuses for him to miss 29 of them.

Tonight was the 2nd one he missed (the other being that UK Raw where all we got was that PISS pre-recorded promo). Since he probably won't be appearing again in the near future, it would probably be better to start counting down misses. 27 more missed shows needed!

--
Thank you, Eddie Guerrero.
http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/photo_large/public/photo/image/2012/04/33_Moscow_04112012jg_02128.jpg

Lesnar likely shows up at OtL imo

--
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luja3sgnby1r5y9duo1_400.jpg

From: PrivateBiscuit1 | #142
What's weird is the very last thing we talked about before RAW was about the face of ECW.

I thought of that too as he was in the ring.

--
From: Regaro_Ukiera |
MWC is god-tier

Punk has formally apologized for telling that guy on Twitter to kill himself.

How nice.

--
Thank you, Eddie Guerrero.
http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/photo_large/public/photo/image/2012/04/33_Moscow_04112012jg_02128.jpg

From what little kow I have seen, it seems clear the talent was always claudio. Hero is mostly dead weight.

--
http://img.imgcake.com/nio/81edpngej.png
The one and only Underdog Millionaire and UCA CORPORATE Champion