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KanzarisKelshen 07/08/17 11:14:38 PM #1: |
Elma, Sorey, D.Va, Char Aznable and Earthworm Jim have challenged Aya Brea, Lara Croft, Nathan Drake, Catherine and Terry Bogard to a hotness contest! Location of the fight: Sexiest Dynamites - The world's most popular hotness competition! Hundreds of adoring fans line up the stands, and a set of impartial judges stands by, ready to deliver judgement unto both teams. Which side will win?
Guidelines - The competition will occur in real-time (like an FMV sequence). Gameplay mechanics are less important than how the characters would function in a real-time environment. - The members of each team are ideal teammates capable of a pre-selected plan of battle. - There may be SPOILERS from all of the games the characters are from. Rules for Voting - Bold your votes (using bold HTML tags). - You do not need to require justification for your vote, though the admins reserve the right to disqualify votes in the advent of obvious alt voting and other similar scenarios. - Leaders cannot vote for their own teams (and players from the same pool may not vote as well), but they are free to argue their case. - If you want to switch your votes simply bold the change; there's no need to delete your post, though you may if you wish. - This match will end in 24 hours. - The following conventions are in use for match topics: www.gamefaqs.com/boards/570224-mercs/75290480/878106427 - The match that week will not be a battle to the death, but rather a contest to decide who's hotter, decided by impartial judges objectively judging each contestant by the standards of their species and culture (so an alien being would not be held to the standards of humanity but their own culture's). - Contestants will each have two minutes to show off their gifts to the judges. They may not interfere with each other's performances or attempt to influence the judges beyond presenting themselves favorably. D.va is as she appears in Overwatch. Sorey is as he appears in Tales of Zestiria. He is accompanied by Lailah, also as seen in Tales of Zestiria. Elma is as she appears in Xenoblade X. Char Aznable is as he appears in XCOM: Enemy Within, as a Support trooper of the Major rank. Earthworm Jim is as he appears in Earthworm Jim 1 and 2. ~VS~ A cow is a third party, allied to neither team. ~VS~ Terry Bogard is as seen in his younger, more traditional form from the King of Fighters and Fatal Fury series. Lara Croft is as she appears in Tomb Raider (2013). Nathan Drake is as seen through the Uncharted series. Catherine is as she appears in Catherine. Aya Brea is as she appears in Parasite Eve 1 and 2. --- If you got it, flaunt it! SHOW YOUR STUFF! --- Shine on, you crazy diamond. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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KanzarisKelshen 07/08/17 11:14:51 PM #2: |
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KanzarisKelshen 07/08/17 11:16:15 PM #3: |
Eddv's argument: Hit the music knux! Char The sexiest man in all of space - ladies this one is a Newtype - meaning his competition is people like Puru, Kamille and Amuro Ray. Doesn't he look good in uniform. The way he takes off his shades makes everyobodies heart throb! Check out that shower shot! Jim Check out the sexiest earthworm you ever did see And of course he even wears costumes Bonus fanservice: undies Sorey and Lailah Sorey has something for fans of all genders and persuasions He becomes so bishou when Armatized to Lailah Who lets face it is pretty nice in her own right. They can probably put on quite a show armatizing to each other in their outfits. Bonus fanservice: warning....steamy Elma Now we have the beautiful android that makes all the boys scream, Elma. Look at that badonkadonk! She can rock all sorts of outfits and cosplay with poise and grace. https://i.gyazo.com/edc8f4bc7446b4c1464b94b3b9928e69.jpg School girls and swimsuits and....whatever the hell that last one was she really is the best of both worlds. Main Event: D Va So lets talk about D Va. She's an international superstar and its very easy to see why... Yeah that right there. That jumpsuited body. Its good from every angle But she does sometimes rock the cosplay like any good otaku Bonus cosplay: https://img13.deviantart.net/9b84/i/2016/140/b/b/i_play_to_win__gg__d_va_cosplay_by_miumoonlight-da35p96.png oh no. Not the cow!!! I forgot the cow! Look at the uh...haunches on that bovine! Look at the size of those udders! oh no I forgot about this ending....run ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Tom Bombadil 07/08/17 11:23:37 PM #4: |
the cows have mooed
--- Tombolo Friends of the friendless, seize the day! The problem is the racism against cute Pokemon.- Luster Soldier ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Johnbobb 07/08/17 11:24:49 PM #5: |
Cow
--- Khal Kirby, warlord of the Super Star Khalasar PSN/Steam: CheddarBBQ http://i.imgur.com/sRNNOSP.png ... Copied to Clipboard!
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HeroicGammaRay 07/08/17 11:28:53 PM #6: |
garou terry hotter than normal terry imo
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KanzarisKelshen 07/08/17 11:37:18 PM #7: |
Not impressed with the cow btw
We know that there's a specific Cow that is a paragon of hotness and it's not 'a cow', it's Princess-What's-Her-Cow. --- Shine on, you crazy diamond. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Tom Bombadil 07/08/17 11:38:29 PM #8: |
oh sorry the cows have mooed
--- Tombolo Friends of the friendless, seize the day! The problem is the racism against cute Pokemon.- Luster Soldier ... Copied to Clipboard!
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greengravy294 07/08/17 11:56:12 PM #9: |
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Arti 07/09/17 12:09:32 AM #10: |
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Kamekguy 07/09/17 12:19:44 AM #11: |
Kamek's Official Hotness Tier List:
Cheat On Your Waifu Tier D.Va (Rockabilly Housewife Outfit) Aya Brea Catherine Three Minutes Of Ecstasy Tier Terry Bogard Elma Strangely Attractive For A Fishman Tier Nathan Drake Regular D.va A Cat Is Fine Too Tier Sorey Lara Croft Earthworm Jim I Probably Wouldn't Hit It Tier Cow Sorey's Anime Girlfriend .... With all that said, Catherine literally shapeshifts for every individual to be their ideal. Like she changes race specifically for another dude to flirt with him and drive him crazy. It's not just "overwhelming hotness", it's "literally reading your mind to be as hot as possible to you". --- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Johnbobb 07/09/17 12:26:07 AM #12: |
Yeah realistically, while D.Va almost single-handedly wins it for her team, it's gotta be Drake and Catherine.
Sorry cow. --- Khal Kirby, warlord of the Super Star Khalasar PSN/Steam: CheddarBBQ http://i.imgur.com/sRNNOSP.png ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Drakeryn 07/09/17 12:49:53 AM #13: |
D.va - 5.5/10 the mech is cuter than she is
Sorey - 7/10 generic anime guy, but that's not too bad. gets a full point for the shepherd outfit. armatized is like 7.5 Lailah - 6/10 Elma - 7/10 cuter than her mech Char - 2/10 because an xcom trooper is still an xcom trooper. 'actual' char is like a 4, not a fan of that haircut EWJ - 0/10 would give negative points if possible Terry - 7/10 inferior to Rock Lara (2013) - 9/10 way better than classic Lara Nathan - 5/10 hello Mr. Generic Catherine - ew 3/10 Aya (PE1-2) - if this were Third Birthday Aya it would be an easy 10, but earlier Aya, ehhh. 6/10 I guess. cow - cow/10 Team Lara but it's closer than I expected, mostly because poor Aya --- another place and time, without a great divide, and we could be flying deadly high ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Lopen 07/09/17 12:51:54 AM #14: |
Well Sorey's anime girlfriend wins the women pretty easily for me, but D.Va and Elma are beaten out by the average of Lara + Catherine + Aya.
The combo of Terry and Nathan Drake probably beat out Char + Jim, although Garou Terry would be cleaner. Also if we're going by species, Jim is probably way way above your typical earthworm. That counts for something, I figure. Tough match! --- No problem and congratulation! BK_Sheikah00 committed a cute and pop genocide of love against the gurus! Kyaa~ ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Eddv 07/09/17 12:52:28 AM #15: |
KanzarisKelshen posted...
- The match that week will not be a battle to the death, but rather a contest to decide who's hotter, decided by impartial judges objectively judging each contestant by the standards of their species and culture (so an alien being would not be held to the standards of humanity but their own culture's). --- Board 8's Voice of Reason http://i.imgur.com/chXIw06.jpg ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Drakeryn 07/09/17 12:53:30 AM #16: |
I would take any ordinary earthworm over EWJ he's that bad
--- another place and time, without a great divide, and we could be flying deadly high ... Copied to Clipboard!
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KanzarisKelshen 07/09/17 1:03:27 AM #17: |
Aya (PE1-2) - if this were Third Birthday Aya it would be an easy 10, but earlier Aya, ehhh. 6/10 I guess. I don't know who I'm voting for yet cause this is one stacked match (in all possible senses) but man I gotta go to bat for Aya here Really overpowered hotness game - same as Jim for his own species! --- Shine on, you crazy diamond. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Lopen 07/09/17 1:11:47 AM #18: |
I think Jim's main problem is he's not going to be able to present himself credibly. A lot of hotness is how you carry yourself and Jim's too much of a goof to do well there.
--- No problem and congratulation! BK_Sheikah00 committed a cute and pop genocide of love against the gurus! Kyaa~ ... Copied to Clipboard!
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KanzarisKelshen 07/09/17 1:17:08 AM #19: |
Lopen posted...
I think Jim's main problem is he's not going to be able to present himself credibly. A lot of hotness is how you carry yourself and Jim's too much of a goof to do well there. This I think is true Like even if you have all the raw hotness, if you act like a clown or a blubbering waifu you're not gonna sell yourself well --- Shine on, you crazy diamond. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Shaduln 07/09/17 1:28:45 AM #20: |
Catherina, Lara, Aya
--- Emperor of Board 8 Peaceful days are over. Let's survive! ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Lopen 07/09/17 1:50:48 AM #21: |
I'll just try to do the Drak method, see where the point totals end up
D.va - 5. In theory she's cute, but she tries way too hard to look cute which hurts her appeal a lot. Sorey - 5.5 Completely unremarkable normally, below average bishie when armatized. Averages out to a 5.5. Lailah - 8. She's not terribly hot in game most of the time but Eddv's pics show she's really cute at peak conditions. Really like that first fan art and she's killin the swimsuit. Elma - 5. Good body but really drab in the face and hairstyle. Char - 7. Dude's got a swagger to him-- doesn't matter his hairstyle is bad he's making it work. EWJ - 3.5. Well above average looks among earthworms, but has an anti-swagger to him which is gonna hurt his ability to be hot. 35 points Terry - 7. He does have a rugged charm but he would be considerably stronger in Garou form Lara (2013) - 8 way better than classic Lara Nathan - 6. Bare bones execution of a generic look, but it's a look that works. Catherine - 4. I never really "got" this character. Like the hairstyle is a total mess, she tends to make really ugly looking faces. Aya (PE1-2) - 6.5. She's like your stereotypical classy hot blonde pretty much. It ain't hurtin ya but it's not knocking it out of the park either-- this judge in particular isn't going for it. 31.5 points Cow - I dunno, 5/10 among bovines I'd imagine. Nothing remarkable about it either way. 5 points Not very many "Lopen appeal" mercs here, so on the whole it basically ends up that Sorey's team wins because he's a dirty cheater who went 6v5 --- No problem and congratulation! BK_Sheikah00 committed a cute and pop genocide of love against the gurus! Kyaa~ ... Copied to Clipboard!
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HeroicGammaRay 07/09/17 5:41:54 AM #22: |
jim's universe, like, canonically has reversed beauty standards from ours so i think the JUDGES should rate him highly
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KanzarisKelshen 07/09/17 5:49:12 AM #23: |
That's only for the Insecticans IIRC, which Jim isn't one of. Need to go lookin tho
--- Shine on, you crazy diamond. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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STElNER 07/09/17 6:26:33 AM #24: |
team jim
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GANON1025 07/09/17 7:02:27 AM #25: |
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ZeeksFire 07/09/17 7:07:23 AM #26: |
Team Terry
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FFDragon 07/09/17 10:43:55 AM #27: |
whoops forgot about this, turbo zone --
Terry Bogard (Reigning Mercs Hotstuff Champion): Nathan Drake: Lara Croft: Aya Brea: Catherine (Literal succubus who will turn into whatever the judges fetishes are for easy 10s): --- If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? #theresafreakingghostafterus ... Copied to Clipboard!
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JeezyMiyagi 07/09/17 10:53:37 AM #28: |
Team Terry and Lara
--- MonkClive0 [NO BARKLEY NO PEACE] ... Copied to Clipboard!
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greengravy294 07/09/17 12:37:29 PM #29: |
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trdl23 07/09/17 1:22:24 PM #30: |
Team Bustah Woof
--- E come vivo? Vivo! ... Copied to Clipboard!
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HeroicGammaRay 07/09/17 2:11:50 PM #31: |
well catherine i guess. feels bad to vote this way - don't like her default form at all - but i gotta respect the superpowers
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StealThisSheen 07/09/17 3:27:21 PM #32: |
Team Lara
--- Seplito Nash, Smelling Like the Vault since 1996 Step FOUR! Get Paid! ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Eddv 07/09/17 10:06:42 PM #33: |
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MajinZidane 07/09/17 10:10:39 PM #34: |
dude nice pix
--- Virtue - "You don't need a reason to Boko United." ... Copied to Clipboard!
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MajinZidane 07/09/17 10:13:14 PM #35: |
Team Terry
but Elma almost tipped the scales --- Virtue - "You don't need a reason to Boko United." ... Copied to Clipboard!
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KanzarisKelshen 07/09/17 10:28:11 PM #36: |
Aya and friends. Really really close match though, good sale from both leaders.
--- Shine on, you crazy diamond. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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