Board 8 > Last night I attended a literal cuckold's wedding

(+) Yeah! (+)

Backstory: My girlfriend has been friends with the bride since she was 10. Eventually this girl decided she wants to have sex with everyone. So this guy who has been engaged three times and has never married once gets to know her. She then proceeds to sleep with all of his friends and tries to get him to join in but he just can't. So he proposed in hopes that maybe she will settle down and only be with him. She has made it explicitly clear that she will not.

This wedding was everything I expected and more. During the whole ceremony they are playing what I can only describe as Game of Thrones music. The bridesmaids wore matching dresses, but not matching colors and also had a dead animal wrapped around them. The groom's side all wore these Scottish kilt outfits. None of them matched at all. He also wore a dandy cap. The groom's hair went 3/4 down his back and was in a braid. The bride had an ugly dress and some horrible tiara that was like green and yellow and white. Nobody had any hair or makeup actually done more than the minimum.

Then the officiator was so over this wedding and seemed like she was just trying to get through it. Obviously it's a non-religous wedding, so when I looked up where these vows came from, they were the first option under "Non-Christian wedding vows". It was an Apache wedding vows for a guy dressed up in a Scottish outfit. They had to repeat this bullshit thing to officially be wed. About being partners in mischief and shit. They b were each doing some weird ribbon binding. The had this long sappy speech he gave and the bride had a short emotionless one just about how much fun they have and will have together.

The official announced they were married and almost went Mr. and Mrs. Yadda Yadda, but she forgot that the groom is so cucked that she refuses to take his name. So she tripped over her words and announce them as bride and groom.

Then my girlfriend points out that the bride currently sleeps with the best man and one of the groomsman and that the groom has slept with the bridesmaid after she felt bad for him. And that the bride has had threesomes with both couples we were sitting with.

They played the worst dance music ever. Half an hour straight of line dancing followed by Disney songs and a stream of songs from the Shrek soundtrack. We finally had to stop waiting for something to dance to and just danced to fucking Can You Feel the Love Tonight. Then finally they played some good songs shortly after before going to abysmal ones.

Not the worst wedding I've ever been to, but holy shit this was just so cringe-worthy and strange. I will answer any questions and provide pictures when I can.

The best part was the food though.
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Pics of bride is obvious first response.
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... what
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Honestly don't know if it's cuckoldry unless he enjoys it.
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So the groom is the one person the bride hasn't slept with, he proposed to her out of desperation, and she accepted for some reason? And now they're going through with the ceremony, even though it's obvious she doesn't respect him in the least?

Man, maybe I'm going about this whole approach to women thing wrong. Clearly I need to just pick some girl and propose to her. Doesn't even matter if she loves me, or if she's sleeping around, because I've hooked her up with half my cash when we inevitably file for divorce.
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Not the worst wedding I've ever been to

this is my favourite part. I need a follow-up story to know what beats this
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LOL

q
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Corrik posted...

Pics of bride is obvious first response.

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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

The best part was the food though.

Could you tell us more about the food? Considering how great everything else sounds, it must have been amazing.
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TheRock1525 posted...

Honestly don't know if it's cuckoldry unless he enjoys it.

He does not. He apparently gets morbidly depressed anytime he talks about it. She has a boyfriend as well (he was the one groomsman) is is thirteen years older than her that she makes the groom take her to see two hours away twice a month because she says she likes having sex with him more. This groomsman and the best man share another girl who the best man is married to, and they have a child. She is going to also marry the groomsman.

But anyway, the best man takes the groom out and away from the home to babysit him while she has sex with her other boyfriend.

azuarc posted...

So the groom is the one person the bride hasn't slept with, he proposed to her out of desperation, and she accepted for some reason? And now they're going through with the ceremony, even though it's obvious she doesn't respect him in the least?

Man, maybe I'm going about this whole approach to women thing wrong. Clearly I need to just pick some girl and propose to her. Doesn't even matter if she loves me, or if she's sleeping around, because I've hooked her up with half my cash when we inevitably file for divorce.

Sorry, they've slept together. She's just not that into the sex. She is so not into it that she has to go to a kink dungeon too in order to get satisfied in a pinch. I have no idea why she accepted.

transience posted...

this is my favourite part. I need a follow-up story to know what beats this

Step brother wedding where I knew absolutely nobody, was sitting with his douchebag friends who are trash people, and the bride who almost bailed on marrying him got absolutely shit faced and was crying the whole time, complaining that people were arguing and fighting, then the next day came up to everyone and said she had a great time at the reception and was glad that everyone got along.

Xeybozn posted...

Could you tell us more about the food? Considering how great everything else sounds, it must have been amazing.

Oh, it was actually good. They had mashed potatoes, beans, broccoli, turkey, beef, and salad. Only problem was that the beef was undercooked a bit, but not inedible.

There was an open bar though where the drinks were so outrageously watered down that I didn't feel a buzz from three drinks. Super weird.
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I'm actually just going to go with you're not actually this worked up about the couple and you're trolling b8, because the alternative is hilariously pathetic
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I can't comprehend why these two people would get married.

Here is the picture they used for the invitations.

http://i64.tinypic.com/2gspxz8.jpg

Her parents hated it so they sent different invitations to the older people.
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

She has a boyfriend as well (he was the one groomsman) is is thirteen years older than her that she makes the groom take her to see two hours away twice a month because she says she likes having sex with him more. This groomsman and the best man share another girl who the best man is married to, and they have a child. She is going to also marry the groomsman.

Wait, what, now polygamy is involved?

Underleveled posted...

PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

She has a boyfriend as well (he was the one groomsman) is is thirteen years older than her that she makes the groom take her to see two hours away twice a month because she says she likes having sex with him more. This groomsman and the best man share another girl who the best man is married to, and they have a child. She is going to also marry the groomsman.

Wait, what, now polygamy is involved?

Sorry, I meant that the girl (not the bride) is married to the best man and will also marry the groomsman.

Oh, and the bride keeps trying to convince her husband to move down closer to them so she can have sex with his groomsman more.
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

Sorry, I meant that the girl (not the bride) is married to the best man and will also marry the groomsman.

Yeah, polygamy.

I say involved because bride is sleeping with both those guys too, right? Not that she's marrying two people but one girl is and the bride is sleeping with both of you stole this from some soap opera. You had to have.

This is a fucking soap opera.

PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

Here is the picture they used for the invitations.

http://i64.tinypic.com/2gspxz8.jpg

That's the chick who's getting it on with all these guys, huh?

PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

Oh, and the bride keeps trying to convince her husband to move down closer to them so she can have sex with his groomsman more.

This is hilarious.
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

Here is the picture they used for the invitations.

http://i64.tinypic.com/2gspxz8.jpg

Her parents hated it so they sent different invitations to the older people.

Woof
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Yeah she's like a fucking four at best and that's only because what I can see of her body looks like it can be somewhat kinky. Her face is a trainwreck.

Yeah, you have it all straight.

I have stolen none of this. I could not possibly make this up. This is real life.
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Doesn't biscuit live in PA?
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I live in Wheeling, WV right now, which is the sliver right between Ohio and PA. My girlfriend lives in Ohio. This was like 2.5 hours away in Ohio, closer to Cleveland.

Edit: I used to live in PA though.
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

I have no idea why she accepted.

How much money does he have?
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

I live in Wheeling, WV right now, which is the sliver right between Ohio and PA. My girlfriend lives in Ohio. This was like 2.5 hours away in Ohio, closer to Cleveland.

Edit: I used to live in PA though.

Damn weird Ohioians.
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kevwaffles posted...

PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

I have no idea why she accepted.

How much money does he have?

He's tech support at an inner city school. So.
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Thank you for sharing -- this is great to read.

Do you think they'll make it?
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He looks like everything I expected. Does she have money to at least make him seem less pathetic? Kind of feel bad for him but only to the point where his life becomes funny. I'd be careful around them though, this setup is a powder keg. Be far, far away when one of them snaps.
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God help them if they ever have kids.
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I don't have any clue.

Like he's marrying her in hopes that she stops this and just settles down with him. She won't because she's probably some weird sex addict. But he doesn't have the balls or self respect to put an end to it. I imagine he'll just become more depressed over it though until he just hates everything about the marriage though.

Other facts I forgot to add about this wedding:

During the first dance, the newlyweds did this really weird and coreographed dance where they were like posing for photos in the middle of it and stuff. They also had what I think they thought were dramatic and serious looks that came across as soulless and filled with no joy.

The parents of the groom know he's a cuck. And when the father gave a speech, he handed off the family feather to put in his hat that he got from his own father. I don't know why you would reward your sad sack of a son with something like that when you know he's marrying someone who has been sleeping with every guy under the age of 40 at this thing.

The bride's dad knows that she sleeps around a bit and is disappointed. The mother knows nothing and would probably be destroyed if she did. They paid for the whole thing.

During the father-bride dance they danced to Kermit the Frog's Rainbow Connection. And then they broke into the Time Warp in the middle of it and brought on the whole wedding party to join in. He seemed like he didn't know this was going to happen.

When the bride threw the bouquet, they did it right under a chandelier, so it almost got caught. So when it came for the groom to throw the garter, they positioned him right under the chandelier again and it actually did get caught.

There was a particularly creepy man who was there. He wore a fedora, more makeup and eyeliner than the bride, all black, his suit jacket cutting off halfway down his arm so he could show off his arm fishnets, and instead of a tie he wore what I could only describe as a black shower bomb.

The one couple we were sitting with got married a month ago. They decided they would take neither person's name. Instead they combined both of their last names together.

Pictures are coming out, but I probably won't be able to post them until tomorrow.
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Yeah, the key to being a cuck is actually liking (or putting up the front of liking) your wife/GF getting fucked by another man. It's why it's used as an insult. "You don't just let your wife get fucked by another man, you LIKE it!" This guy doesn't seem to be the type by your description.

I don't know what you'd call this guy other than really fucking sad.
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Wanglicious posted...

He looks like everything I expected. Does she have money to at least make him seem less pathetic? Kind of feel bad for him but only to the point where his life becomes funny. I'd be careful around them though, this setup is a powder keg. Be far, far away when one of them snaps.

Like I said earlier, he works as tech support for an inner city school and they pay like nothing.

She's in grad school for something I can't remember that promises no actual career anytime soon.

My girlfriend never hangs out with them but for some reason the bride always overshares details of her life with her. So she just kind of listens and tells everyone else she knows so she can laugh at it.

His beard looks a lot more hilarious now. It's one of those weird squared off beards where it's like a perfect rectangle.
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

During the father-bride dance they danced to Kermit the Frog's Rainbow Connection. And then they broke into the Time Warp in the middle of it and brought on the whole wedding party to join in. He seemed like he didn't know this was going to happen.

my favorite part
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oh i was just hoping he was trying to marry into money.
instead he just ends up being a beta cuck whose best future is raging alcoholic or depressed heroin addict. when he finally admits to himself that she's not settling down at all just don't get near them. physical violence just is not far from that.
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And I've always known a cuckold to knowingly allow your significant other to sleep with other men and it doesn't necessarily mean that they have to enjoy it. I know some definitions corroborate it as well since I had to explain exactly what a cuckold was to my girlfriend last night and looked it up. But I don't care about the semantics too much because saying Cuck Wedding is so much easier to describe this thing.
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

And I've always known a cuckold to knowingly allow your significant other to sleep with other men and it doesn't necessarily mean that they have to enjoy it. I know some definitions corroborate it as well since I had to explain exactly what a cuckold was to my girlfriend last night and looked it up. But I don't care about the semantics too much because saying Cuck Wedding is so much easier to describe this thing.

Oh yeah, I agree that just calling him a cuck is simpler for the sake of the story.
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

There was a particularly creepy man who was there. He wore a fedora, more makeup and eyeliner than the bride, all black, his suit jacket cutting off halfway down his arm so he could show off his arm fishnets, and instead of a tie he wore what I could only describe as a black shower bomb.

That's the Grim Reaper preparing to collect on the fallout of this whole situation.
Also a cuckold is a husband whose wife sleeps with other guys, and usually not too much with him. If you like it it's a cuckolding fetish.
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yeah rock is way off base here. cuck just means that someone else has slept with your wife. you can go back as far as chaucer and probably even further back to see instances of the word being used. the fetish for being cuckolded is when you like it.
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and it was used as an insult back then, too

times really do not change
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This was insanely sad.
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What is wrong with any of this? This topic is kinky ^_^
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TifaTequifa posted...

What is wrong with any of this? This topic is kinky ^_^

The problem is the guy is clearly not ok with this. If he was it wouldn't be an issue
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That is literally one of the best usernames i have ever seen.
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And when the father gave a speech, he handed off the family feather to put in his hat that he got from his own father. I

oh yeah, the family hat feather. We all have one of those.
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UltimaterializerX posted...

That girl would actually be pretty if she got her teeth fixed. Bad teeth is such a dealbreaker for me, but hey good on the guys getting a piece of that. Not their fault her husband is a complete loser.

He is exactly what I pictured. Grow a spine and stop being a beta male. When realo/me/extha/etc were talking about this stuff years ago, this is exactly the sort of thing we said would end up happening to these men.

And whaddyaknow.

I wouldn't say pretty but manageable. The kinkiness of her adds a few points alone. I see no reason to not want to side piece in the situation. It has zero strings besides maybe a husband murdering everyone scenario.
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Corrik posted...

It has zero strings besides maybe a husband murdering everyone scenario.

lmao
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MoogleKupo141 posted...

And when the father gave a speech, he handed off the family feather to put in his hat that he got from his own father. I

oh yeah, the family hat feather. We all have one of those.

Well, I guess I ought to explain this a bit.

He belongs to a Scottish clan group or something. The whole family does, as far as I can tell, and I guess they pass this feather on to each male in the family. That's why they all wore kilts and shit.
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Cucks, am I right?
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Did she try to sleep with you?
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