Current Events > I missed out on young love. Never dated in high school or even college.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Conflict posted...

Orlando_Jordan posted...

Hayame Zero posted...

So go try dating now. I didn't get a girlfriend until I was 33.

lmao, how is this possible?

You're living proof

Were you gazing into the mirror while typing this?
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the most white people music video I have ever seen lol
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How is that possible?

Well, when youre unattractive, weird, picky... youd be surprised. And then it snowballs because when its failure after failure after failure, you start to think maybe there is something really wrong with me that I just dont see even if you actually think youre pretty great.
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Whatever your situation, I'm worse
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Im 29 and never been in a relationship. Partly because of poor social skills, partly because I dont really feel like I need one.
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Jesus i guess different times but i don't know anyone who was over 20 when they lost their virginity. On second thought I forgot your drinking age is 21 nevermind here it is 18 so not too hard to do 25 is like what are you doing though.

I didn't either TC. Only serious relationship I've ever had is with my now-current wife, whom I met when I was 25 and couldn't possibly love more.
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Hayame Zero posted...

it's the lack of confidence about it.

I think this is probably it.

After awhile, regardless of the reason(s), the lack of confidence and general embarrassment just creates a snowball effect. And if instead of approaching and at least trying you've been furiously fapping to God only knows what kind of porn, that can just add to the shame and distortion of what might otherwise be a healthy sexual outlook on life.

EDIT:

if I had to say for me 6 things have probably lead to me being stunted in this area

1. I naturally have a hard time bonding with people. I can tell what real affections are and they cause me to freeze if someone displays them towards me, like genuine loving affection.
2. Terrible choices in friends over the past several years. A chaotic family life. As I hit my 20s I recoiled more into bad habits and tossed the good ones away, for reasons I'll not mention to keep this short. Also after HS the social circle became more rigid and less newcomers entered
3. As time went on and I simply either failed miserably at dating and/or barely tried, it simply becomes embarrassing.
4. Porn has most certainly altered my sexual outlook in a bad way. Settling for porn vs trying to keep it simple
5. Online posting. I'd say shit posting online has hurt my relationship building abilities even more than they already were. Online posting is like a drug, it's addictive and mostly unhealthy.
6. To go along with 3, I'd say feeling like i have nothing to offer even though I know that is untrue, the general lack of effort, embarrassment, and everything else combines into some secret shame and then I don't even try.

What makes no sense is I can be ballsy in other areas of my life, not this one.
SauI_Goodman posted...

Older women generally know what they want and the games are gone.

I may not have much relationship experience but even I know this a load of shit. Seriously, any amount of time with women, sisters or otherwise, much less attempting to date them will prove that older women are just as psychotic as their younger counterparts. The psychoticness might have changed a little, but it is there nonetheless.

Don't think because the red pill comes across as misogynistic it is all together wrong when it repeats constantly "all women are like that" or that it is wrong because incels repeat it. It's pretty rare to find one that is not crazy.

kayoticdreamz posted...

After awhile, regardless of the reason(s), the lack of confidence and general embarrassment just creates a snowball effect. And if instead of approaching and at least trying you've been furiously fapping to God only knows what kind of porn, that can just add to the shame and distortion of what might otherwise be a healthy sexual outlook on life.

NoFap helps honestly
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tullock posted...

I didn't either TC. Only serious relationship I've ever had is with my now-current wife, whom I met when I was 25 and couldn't possibly love more.

My story is very similar. Never had a girlfriend until I was 26, and I've now been married to her for over eleven years.

I feel like just putting myself in a social situation with others close to my age day after day helped a lot. I made a lot of friends, and eventually found someone I will always love and cherish. Even though I know I lack a little in social skills and certainly have absolutely no game whatsoever. I believe there is always hope for everyone who is interested in finding love.
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Suchomimus posted...

kayoticdreamz posted...

After awhile, regardless of the reason(s), the lack of confidence and general embarrassment just creates a snowball effect. And if instead of approaching and at least trying you've been furiously fapping to God only knows what kind of porn, that can just add to the shame and distortion of what might otherwise be a healthy sexual outlook on life.

NoFap helps honestly

I need to. I keep saying I'm going to make a better effort at it, but then don't. Addiction is real.

tullock posted...

I didn't either TC. Only serious relationship I've ever had is with my now-current wife, whom I met when I was 25 and couldn't possibly love more.

I got bad news for you bro

billcom6 posted...

Also, not really having dating experience leads to fun conversations like this.

You dont have to be honest all the time. A white lie can get you far.
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Lvaneede posted...

Im 29 and never been in a relationship. Partly because of poor social skills, partly because I dont really feel like I need one.

Same, it's a huge time sink and theres others more productive things I can do with my time that I'd actually enjoy.

If red lights districts were a thing here I rarely think about bothering.
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Hulkasaurusrex posted...

tullock posted...

I didn't either TC. Only serious relationship I've ever had is with my now-current wife, whom I met when I was 25 and couldn't possibly love more.

I got bad news for you bro

What? @Hulkasaurusrex
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I know the feeling man. I never dated, or even lost my virginity until I was 27. Looking back, it was probably for the better, as I was an immature spoiled brat. That said, I'm 33 right now. I have a side chick for sex every Saturday night if I wanted(never could have a relationship with her, she lives 4 hours away and is 320 lbs/5'4), a chick for snuggles should I feel like having it, and another that I'm in the process of meeting in a couple weeks, who could be girlfriend material(who is 5'0, 180 lbs, and absolutely gorgeous).

My suggestion is to at least get a side girl. Not someone you want a relationship with, but will just have for sex now and then, it will destress you real quick, and make you less awkward on dates or even real life meetings.

Ivany2008 posted...

My suggestion is to at least get a side girl.

...right.
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I didn't really date in high school--hung out some with a girl I liked and went to prom with her, but it was never a romantic/dating thing. Technically dated another girl right after high school, we went on a couple dates and hung out a lot but it was never really romantic, either, pretty quickly decided we were better off as friends, felt too much like brother and sister. >_>

I think a problem I had was I would have a crush on one girl and then that was it as far as I was concerned, lol. I wouldn't pursue any others and would be mostly oblivious to any that were interested in me at the time. Continued on through college like that, until pretty late.

tullock posted...

I didn't either TC. Only serious relationship I've ever had is with my now-current wife, whom I met when I was 25 and couldn't possibly love more.

I kind-of-sort-of dated a couple girls late college and right after, never anything serious at all, but met my wife at 23 and never looked back.
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KogaSteelfang posted...

Ivany2008 posted...

My suggestion is to at least get a side girl.

...right.

Side girl is probably the wrong wording. Friend with Benefits? If your not dating then at least have someone who is just there for the physical portion of it. Lowers stress, and gives you more confidence when talking to people. Least it has for me.

Ivany2008 posted...

KogaSteelfang posted...

Ivany2008 posted...

My suggestion is to at least get a side girl.

...right.

Side girl is probably the wrong wording. Friend with Benefits? If your not dating then at least have someone who is just there for the physical portion of it. Lowers stress, and gives you more confidence when talking to people. Least it has for me.

If someone doesn't have the confidence to get a girlfriend then they aren't going to have the confidence to get someone to agree to NSA sex.
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Speak for yourself. I don't have much confidence in myself, yet I got someone to agree with that. Same with my 2 roommates, both of which also got that benefit, hell one of them, who was 27 had a friend with benefits who was 18 years old, Asian and a bbw. After a couple times hanging out and having sex, they realized they had fallen for one another and spent the next 2 years as a couple.

Hayame Zero posted...

So go try dating now. I didn't get a girlfriend until I was 33. You'll find out the past isn't as big of a deal once you have something you want in the present.

This might be some of the most zen and best advice CE has ever given
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Ivany2008 posted...

18 years old, Asian and a bbw

Being FWB with an 18 y/o when you're 27 shouldn't be a positive. Sounds like your friend took advantage of a young naive girl imo
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@kayoticdreamz truth
It's really the confidence that you're lacking. I'm just the same since I get stuck trying to have a normal conversation with any girl that is even slightly attractive. An attractive guy that knows none of the hints will get laid less than an unattractive guy that can spit game. Hence, girls go for bad boys. Fuck the truth and shit, if you're in it to win it, go at it with everything you've got. Love is unpredictable. Hit it with unpredictable tactics. Why am I telling you this? I should go try this.
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Oh, is this the post-hardcore/emo thread? Cool, unloading a track or two.

Don't feel bad, TC. I also never grew up knowing about "young love" or whatever. I thought I knew what that was when I was a kid, but I don't.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMrU3f5QQR8" data-time="

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc2wmC12sdg" data-time="
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ri5F633xSsY" data-time="
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L4NRules posted...

If someone doesn't have the confidence to get a girlfriend then they aren't going to have the confidence to get someone to agree to NSA sex.

This is what I meant. We're in this situation because we struggle in some capacity to get people interested. If we could just go get someone, we would have. The advice given is akin to telling someone who can't swim to just go free diving in the deep ocean.

Ivany2008 posted...

Speak for yourself. I don't have much confidence in myself, yet I got someone to agree with that. Same with my 2 roommates, both of which also got that benefit, hell one of them, who was 27 had a friend with benefits who was 18 years old, Asian and a bbw. After a couple times hanging out and having sex, they realized they had fallen for one another and spent the next 2 years as a couple.

I can only speak for myself, but I'm 35 and a virgin. It's frustrating when this type of thing is treated as something so easily obtained. You should know how it feels since you were late yourself. Looks like you don't though. You have no idea how much I want to find someone who wants to be with me, even if it's just a fwb. I don't want to be this way any more.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snhkO-c-S0c" data-time="

I honestly think at some point, when I die, I'll just have the final pages of my journal as the lyrics to Have A Nice Life's "Hunter."
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I missed out on young love even though I tried. I ended up not dating in high school.
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KogaSteelfang posted...

L4NRules posted...

If someone doesn't have the confidence to get a girlfriend then they aren't going to have the confidence to get someone to agree to NSA sex.

This is what I meant. We're in this situation because we struggle in some capacity to get people interested. If we could just go get someone, we would have. The advice given is akin to telling someone who can't swim to just go free diving in the deep ocean.

Ivany2008 posted...

Speak for yourself. I don't have much confidence in myself, yet I got someone to agree with that. Same with my 2 roommates, both of which also got that benefit, hell one of them, who was 27 had a friend with benefits who was 18 years old, Asian and a bbw. After a couple times hanging out and having sex, they realized they had fallen for one another and spent the next 2 years as a couple.

I can only speak for myself, but I'm 35 and a virgin. It's frustrating when this type of thing is treated as something so easily obtained. You should know how it feels since you were late yourself. Looks like you don't though. You have no idea how much I want to find someone who wants to be with me, even if it's just a fwb. I don't want to be this way any more.

and you think I didn't struggle? I went nearly 7 years without a girlfriend, without sex. I just kept at it. Eventually I found someone who just wanted the fwb bit, and that was after pissing off several other girls who wanted that instead of a real relationship.

I've told this before, but I'll repeat it here.

In that 7 years I went through:

-Someone asking me to get them pregnant on the 3rd date and threatening my life when I told them no
-Someone nearly dying in my living room, twice
-Completely being ignored time and again
-Being convinced I had something proper in the works, only to find out the girl already had a boyfriend and did this on purpose.
-Asked multiple women out for coffee only for them to not show up

Going out with arguably the most ugly women in my area. Including but not limited to:
-A chick who laughed at people getting into accidents which maim or kill them
-A chick who had 3 teeth left in her head, and all of them were rotting
-A chick who hated that I gave her a single flower on the 3rd date
-A chick who refused to watch anything but my little pony(on loop)

No one says its easy. But the best things in life never are. You can sit there feeling sorry for yourself and let life take over. Or you can give the middle finger to the direction your life is going, and fight for the opportunity to actually have someone in your life.

Sure its scary, no one is saying it isn't.

It might not be today, might not be tomorrow, hell might not be this year, but I have faith that you will find someone, someone that you jive with. Someone who will see you for who you are.

And by the way, my only girlfriend was when I was 27 and it lasted 3 months. Before then, I didn't date, even in middle/high school. I didn't have a prom date, so one was placed with me. She, by the way, disappeared after we took the entrance photos and I didn't see her for the rest of the night. So I sat at my table, alone for most of the night until my buddys dates little sister agreed to slow dance with me so the entire night wasn't a complete fuck up.

We all have struggles man, some of us just choose not to share them. Hopefully by looking at what I went through, you'll get inspired to pick yourself up and dust yourself off, because you are worth it.

And by the way, that's only the ones I remember. There are dozens if not hundreds of ones I don't remember. Just got to keep at it.

and if it means you have to talk to a psychologist, a councilor or a doctor to get some help? do it.

I was 23 or 24 until I got with a woman. I'm glad I waited or else I'd probably struggle in school. I don't care what society says.
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Ivany2008 posted...

I have a side chick for sex every Saturday night if I wanted

Good man.

Ivany2008 posted...

and is 320 lbs/5'4

LMFAO
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Orlando_Jordan posted...

Ivany2008 posted...

I have a side chick for sex every Saturday night if I wanted

Good man.

Ivany2008 posted...

and is 320 lbs/5'4

LMFAO

I'm still getting some. Sure it isn't perfect, but its better than none at all. Makes it easier when I break it off with her.

Ivany2008 posted...

I'm still getting some. Sure it isn't perfect, but its better than none at all.

None at all is FAR better than sinking that low.
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I'm 32 and have had two serious relationships in my life. None as a teen. Most of my experience is just hook ups sadly.
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pres_madagascar posted...

I'm 32 and have had two serious relationships in my life. None as a teen. Most of my experience is just hook ups sadly.

Quality over quantity. If they were meaningful relationships who cares.
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billcom6 posted...

Also, not really having dating experience leads to fun conversations like this.

She's a bitch tbh
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Changing high schools because I moved too far definitely didn't help me. The 9th grade and some of the 10th grade was rough for me. I'm 32.
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kayoticdreamz posted...

Hayame Zero posted...

it's the lack of confidence about it.

I think this is probably it.

After awhile, regardless of the reason(s), the lack of confidence and general embarrassment just creates a snowball effect. And if instead of approaching and at least trying you've been furiously fapping to God only knows what kind of porn, that can just add to the shame and distortion of what might otherwise be a healthy sexual outlook on life.

EDIT:

if I had to say for me 6 things have probably lead to me being stunted in this area

1. I naturally have a hard time bonding with people. I can tell what real affections are and they cause me to freeze if someone displays them towards me, like genuine loving affection.
2. Terrible choices in friends over the past several years. A chaotic family life. As I hit my 20s I recoiled more into bad habits and tossed the good ones away, for reasons I'll not mention to keep this short. Also after HS the social circle became more rigid and less newcomers entered
3. As time went on and I simply either failed miserably at dating and/or barely tried, it simply becomes embarrassing.
4. Porn has most certainly altered my sexual outlook in a bad way. Settling for porn vs trying to keep it simple
5. Online posting. I'd say shit posting online has hurt my relationship building abilities even more than they already were. Online posting is like a drug, it's addictive and mostly unhealthy.
6. To go along with 3, I'd say feeling like i have nothing to offer even though I know that is untrue, the general lack of effort, embarrassment, and everything else combines into some secret shame and then I don't even try.

What makes no sense is I can be ballsy in other areas of my life, not this one.
SauI_Goodman posted...

Older women generally know what they want and the games are gone.

I may not have much relationship experience but even I know this a load of shit. Seriously, any amount of time with women, sisters or otherwise, much less attempting to date them will prove that older women are just as psychotic as their younger counterparts. The psychoticness might have changed a little, but it is there nonetheless.

Don't think because the red pill comes across as misogynistic it is all together wrong when it repeats constantly "all women are like that" or that it is wrong because incels repeat it. It's pretty rare to find one that is not crazy.

You quoted your own lack of experience and social ineptness. Why are you so sure of this, when more well-adjusted and socially successful people think it's nonsense?
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kayoticdreamz posted...

Hayame Zero posted...

it's the lack of confidence about it.

I think this is probably it.

After awhile, regardless of the reason(s), the lack of confidence and general embarrassment just creates a snowball effect. And if instead of approaching and at least trying you've been furiously fapping to God only knows what kind of porn, that can just add to the shame and distortion of what might otherwise be a healthy sexual outlook on life.

EDIT:

if I had to say for me 6 things have probably lead to me being stunted in this area

1. I naturally have a hard time bonding with people. I can tell what real affections are and they cause me to freeze if someone displays them towards me, like genuine loving affection.
2. Terrible choices in friends over the past several years. A chaotic family life. As I hit my 20s I recoiled more into bad habits and tossed the good ones away, for reasons I'll not mention to keep this short. Also after HS the social circle became more rigid and less newcomers entered
3. As time went on and I simply either failed miserably at dating and/or barely tried, it simply becomes embarrassing.
4. Porn has most certainly altered my sexual outlook in a bad way. Settling for porn vs trying to keep it simple
5. Online posting. I'd say shit posting online has hurt my relationship building abilities even more than they already were. Online posting is like a drug, it's addictive and mostly unhealthy.
6. To go along with 3, I'd say feeling like i have nothing to offer even though I know that is untrue, the general lack of effort, embarrassment, and everything else combines into some secret shame and then I don't even try.

What makes no sense is I can be ballsy in other areas of my life, not this one.
SauI_Goodman posted...

Older women generally know what they want and the games are gone.

I may not have much relationship experience but even I know this a load of shit. Seriously, any amount of time with women, sisters or otherwise, much less attempting to date them will prove that older women are just as psychotic as their younger counterparts. The psychoticness might have changed a little, but it is there nonetheless.

Don't think because the red pill comes across as misogynistic it is all together wrong when it repeats constantly "all women are like that" or that it is wrong because incels repeat it. It's pretty rare to find one that is not crazy.

The word "generally" means a lot in the sentence.
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While I enjoyed all of the "I never dated until I met the love of my life in my mid 20s" posts, they didn't necessarily make me feel better.
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byron posted...

Jiggy101011 posted...

billcom6 posted...

Also, not really having dating experience leads to fun conversations like this.

You dont have to be honest all the time. A white lie can get you far.

Seriously, just make shit up to get started. Especially with a chick like that.

That girl sucked.
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