Current Events > Fuck... it's looking like being a groomsman is going cost near $500.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I dont remember it being this expensive for my cousins wedding

Tux rental is $210.

Bachelor party is kayaking and axe throwing first. Maybe $50-100 for these.

Then they wanna go to this really nice steak house for food and drinks. Probably the most expensive in the city.

I can see this being $75 just for the plate, Ive been there once before.

And then, gifts for the wedding AND couples shower.

Fuck, man.

How do I tell my friends I cant afford this rn? I really dont want to put all this shit on a credit card.
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"Hey guys, I know y'all wanna do all this, but with the wedding costs and everything, I don't have enough to do this."
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when i was a groomsman for my friends wedding 2 years ago, we paid to hire out our suits and other clothing costs

when it came to the stag do, the best man sorted out the flights, apartment and all the activities. extreme white water rafting, shooting and strip club. we split the costs so the groom didnt have to pay a thing

you shouldnt be bearing those expenses bro
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Parappa09 posted...

when i was a groomsman for my friends wedding 2 years ago, we paid to hire out our suits and other clothing costs

when it came to the stag do, the best man sorted out the flights, apartment and all the activities. extreme white water rafting, shooting and strip club. we split the costs so the groom didnt have to pay a thing

you shouldnt be bearing those expenses bro

This is for my friends wedding, not mine. Havent started planning ours quite yet
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I guess it doesnt help that they all make at least double my salary, so they might not feel like its a lot.
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When I got married almost 13 years ago I paid for all my groomsmen's clothing rentals myself. I was under the impression that was standard at the time so whatever I guess.
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lww99 posted...

Parappa09 posted...

when i was a groomsman for my friends wedding 2 years ago, we paid to hire out our suits and other clothing costs

when it came to the stag do, the best man sorted out the flights, apartment and all the activities. extreme white water rafting, shooting and strip club. we split the costs so the groom didnt have to pay a thing

you shouldnt be bearing those expenses bro

This is for my friends wedding, not mine. Havent started planning ours quite yet

oh lol. yeah its expensive. but you gotta do it for your mate

hopefully theyll consider that you dont make as much money. luckily the group i went with, we werent making much money and spent probably 250 each overall for our trip to prague
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I detest when a wedding couple expects people in their party (or even guests in general) to cough up tons of dough. If everyone's in a good financial spot and they talk it over with everyone that's one thing, but anything else is just entitled bs. A lot of times the worst qualities in people come out when it comes to their wedding planning.

Hopefully finances are a little better at that point. I can always skip the dinner if needed
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then don't go, it's not like you're the one getting married
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The only time I was a groomsman, it was for my pretty-wealthy cousin so I didn't have to pay for anything. Got a free flight to California, free tux/shoe rental, free food the whole time, free hotel stay...

And I still hated it because I was in California. Love my cousin, hate the region.
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Gobstoppers12 posted...

The only time I was a groomsman, it was for my pretty-wealthy cousin so I didn't have to pay for anything. Got a free flight to California, free tux/shoe rental, free food the whole time, free hotel stay...

And I still hated it because I was in California. Love my cousin, hate the region.

Damn thats awesome lol. Very cool of them to cover the whole wedding party, even if theyre well-off financially.
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Any friend that would ask you to go in the hole for his wedding isnt your friend

Explain your financial situation
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same shit happened to me and my wife last year, spent $1k between the both of us for all the clothes and partys.

advice is to not rent the suit and just see if theres an option to buy.
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What on earth is a couples shower? That's what the wedding is for!
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You can't get out of the tux rental, so you're eating that no matter what. The kayaking sounds fun and cheap so then ask out of the dinner right before it (say all the water riding made you sick). As for the gift, you are technically allowed 1 year to send them a gift. That can wait, just don't forget.

As for the gifts, you eventually make that back if you ever get married. If you don't, them's the breaks.
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Your choice but buying a tux is usually equal to or less than a rental. Depending on your line of work you might need one again.
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brestugo posted...

Your choice but buying a tux is usually equal to or less than a rental. Depending on your line of work you might need one again.

Doubtful. A suit can be re-worn a lot. A tuxedo is rarely worn. Heck, if you get invited to be a groomsman again, no way it's the same tuxedo.
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Punchsmack posted...

brestugo posted...

Your choice but buying a tux is usually equal to or less than a rental. Depending on your line of work you might need one again.

Doubtful. A suit can be re-worn a lot. A tuxedo is rarely worn. Heck, if you get invited to be a groomsman again, no way it's the same tuxedo.

I had a job where I had to pull out a tux at least twice a year.
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JustMyOpinion posted...

My groomsmen paid about $300 for their suits (I paid about half in total and they're nice suits they now own) and they covered all my expenses to have a bachelor's party in Orlando for four days (which I would've been fine paying my part but obviously I very much appreciated it) and they bought me a wedding gift. Shit is expensive. I'll have to repay them if they ask me to be a groomsman.

So weird to me. I would NEVER be ok asking my friends to pay hundreds of dollars to come to my party celebrating me.

"They have suits now so it's ok" ...yeah whatever helps you sleep
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brestugo posted...

Punchsmack posted...

brestugo posted...

Your choice but buying a tux is usually equal to or less than a rental. Depending on your line of work you might need one again.

Doubtful. A suit can be re-worn a lot. A tuxedo is rarely worn. Heck, if you get invited to be a groomsman again, no way it's the same tuxedo.

I had a job where I had to pull out a tux at least twice a year.

...and 99% of men don't. That's like me saying it might be worth buying your own welding mask, that only helps if you're talking to another welder. Most men wear a Halloween costume more often than a tuxedo, even as adults.

A suit is can be worn to job interviews, nice dinners, church, funerals, etc.
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Ex-Kefiroth posted...

Weddings suck. Paying for the privilege to attend one is out of the question.

You're not wrong, but this requirement usually comes hand in hand with wanting a woman in your life and having friends and family.
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Tux rental costs for groomsmen should be included in the wedding bill and paid for by the bride/groom. If I have to spend any money other than a wedding gift, then I just won't go.
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Kajagogo posted...

Tux rental costs for groomsmen should be included in the wedding bill and paid for by the bride/groom. If I have to spend any money other than a wedding gift, then I just won't go.

Yeah, and the bride and groom should give everyone attending a million dollars too. Work WITH the rules and not speak in fantasy. If you want to live by your rules, you won't be invited to weddings and won't have many friends. Meh, your call.
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AlisLandale posted...

Any friend that would ask you to go in the hole for his wedding isnt your friend

Explain your financial situation

This, don't spend bullshit amounts of money on stupid shit that is clearly over priced but especially when you can't afford it.

Better to be a shitty cheap bastard then putting yourself into serious debt for this.

BTW not all weddings are expensive, just cause your not spending a ton of money does not mean you can't have a nice wedding.
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The tux itself is half the cost, and as someone said earlier, its unavoidable. It sucks but whatever
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Offworlder1 posted...

AlisLandale posted...

Any friend that would ask you to go in the hole for his wedding isnt your friend

Explain your financial situation

This, don't spend bullshit amounts of money on stupid shit that is clearly over priced but especially when you can't afford it.

Better to be a shitty cheap bastard then putting yourself into serious debt for this.

BTW not all weddings are expensive, just cause your not spending a ton of money does not mean you can't have a nice wedding.

Debt? From $500?
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@Sada_Pop

No for the tux and these things:

lww99 posted...

Bachelor party is kayaking and axe throwing first. Maybe $50-100 for these.

Then they wanna go to this really nice steak house for food and drinks. Probably the most expensive in the city.

I can see this being $75 just for the plate, Ive been there once before.

And then, gifts for the wedding AND couples shower.

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Fuck man it would cost me like $200 on the bar tab alone how you not gunna get smashed at a fancy steak place ffs
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Maybe I missed something because TC said that comes to about $500.
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Maybe skip the dinner. That would save you about $100 right there.
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Punchsmack posted...

Kajagogo posted...

Tux rental costs for groomsmen should be included in the wedding bill and paid for by the bride/groom. If I have to spend any money other than a wedding gift, then I just won't go.

you won't be invited to weddings and won't have many friends.

Sounds good to me.
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$500 isn't necessarily debt, but money is pretty tight for me right now. Have a lot of stuff I'm trying to get paid off. My dryer just broke this morning lol. Birthdays and shit. Just a lot coming up. Icing on the cake, ya know
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Just go in a t-shirt. Dressing up is for conformists.
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lww99 posted...

My dryer just broke this morning lol.

I know that feeling. Sitting down watching TV and hear an isane grinding sound only to discover the washer can't spin anymore >_>

Axiom posted...

lww99 posted...

My dryer just broke this morning lol.

I know that feeling. Sitting down watching TV and hear an isane grinding sound only to discover the washer can't spin anymore >_>

For me, I had just taken one load out of the dryer, and put another one in. Went and started folding the first load, and heard what sounded like a jackhammer coming from my utility room.

Not sure if I should look at getting it repaired, or just buy a new one. It's a pretty old drier anyway.

Washer is probably on it's way out too D:
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Wouldn't be surprised if it cost almost as much or at least 2/3s of a new drier to repair it. That's what it was for my washer and I said fuck that

I was just at my buddies wedding, and I probably spent like $250-$300 for everything in total. I went cheaper than a few friends, like fuck those $8 drinks.

Just buy stuff you can return, cause I'm gonna take back most of the shit I bought.
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Your a regular Groomsman, not the Best Man? It's the BM's job to plan and pay for the Bachelor's Party.
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008Zulu posted...

Your a regular Groomsman, not the Best Man? It's the BM's job to plan and pay for the Bachelor's Party.

I agree that theyre generally in charge of planning. But never heard of them paying for everyone... thats a weird thing to stick them with
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lww99 posted...

008Zulu posted...

Your a regular Groomsman, not the Best Man? It's the BM's job to plan and pay for the Bachelor's Party.

I agree that theyre generally in charge of planning. But never heard of them paying for everyone... thats a weird thing to stick them with

My sample size is small, I have been a groomsman once (not Best Man), and for the Bachelor Party the BM arranged, he paid for everything. We didn't go to a restaurant, but had a catered buffet. Given there were about 25 of us there, maybe the buffet worked out cheaper than going to a fancy restaurant.
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008Zulu posted...

lww99 posted...

008Zulu posted...

Your a regular Groomsman, not the Best Man? It's the BM's job to plan and pay for the Bachelor's Party.

I agree that theyre generally in charge of planning. But never heard of them paying for everyone... thats a weird thing to stick them with

My sample size is small, I have been a groomsman once (not Best Man), and for the Bachelor Party the BM arranged, he paid for everything. We didn't go to a restaurant, but had a catered buffet. Given there were about 25 of us there, maybe the buffet worked out cheaper than going to a fancy restaurant.

Thats huge! How big was the wedding?!
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lww99 posted...

I guess it doesnt help that they all make at least double my salary, so they might not feel like its a lot.

This happened to me two years ago. First friend got married in an expensive city and I was in between paychecks.

We airbnb'd the bachelor party and split it.five ways so it wasn't bad, but the fucking tux was expensive as hell and didn't even look that good.
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Times like these are one of the few times I'm glad I have poor friends/family. Every wedding has been simple and no wild bachelor parties or travel or anything like that.

A former coworker was a groomsman or best man for a wedding and had to shell out hundreds of dollars for the tux and a plane trip to Vegas. He has more wealthier friends.
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lww99 posted...

008Zulu posted...

lww99 posted...

008Zulu posted...

Your a regular Groomsman, not the Best Man? It's the BM's job to plan and pay for the Bachelor's Party.

I agree that theyre generally in charge of planning. But never heard of them paying for everyone... thats a weird thing to stick them with

My sample size is small, I have been a groomsman once (not Best Man), and for the Bachelor Party the BM arranged, he paid for everything. We didn't go to a restaurant, but had a catered buffet. Given there were about 25 of us there, maybe the buffet worked out cheaper than going to a fancy restaurant.

Thats huge! How big was the wedding?!

Only 100. They kept the wedding to immediate family due to the size of the venue. The Reception was about twice that. Yeah, their family is huge (I don't know if all Catholic families are).
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