Poll of the Day > Two years sober

(+) Yeah! (+)

Time flies about the same speed sober as when you're drunk.

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You want a cookie?

You want a pizookie?

They're delicious.

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Congrats!

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Jen0125 posted...

Time flies about the same speed sober as when you're drunk.

Good for you and good luck!

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SpeeDLeemon posted...

You want a cookie?

No ty I'm not big on cookies

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So how are you holding up?

Forget if you ever went to AA, but if you did and still are, how does that work in this time?

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Nichtcrawler X posted...

So how are you holding up?

Forget if you ever went to AA, but if you did and still are, how does that work in this time?

Great! Very glad I'm not drinking during this quarantine. My body would be hating me rn if I was.

I went to AA for like a month but it wasn't for me. I did rehab, outpatient treatment and therapy. My therapist just released me from her care in January so now I'm on my own.

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congrats jen!

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Have you been 100% avoiding alcohol or have you had a drink every now and then? What's your long term vision?

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Congrats TC! Keep it up

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Clench281 posted...

Have you been 100% avoiding alcohol or have you had a drink every now and then? What's your long term vision?

I haven't drank at all. I'm an alcoholic. There is no such thing for me as having a drink now and then. Even thinking of having a drink makes me think of binge drinking. My long term vision is to never drink again.

And thanks everyone :)

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Jen0125 posted...

Time flies about the same speed sober as when you're drunk.

That's because it has nothing to do with alcohol, and everything to do with the slow, creeping spectre of death sneaking up behind you.

Life is a roller-coaster constantly accelerating its way to the grave. And then you die.
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Congrats Jen. My brother in law is in his third bout of rehab. He has been at a retreat for 2 months and can leave at the end of May but I hope he stays through the summer.

Seeing what he has gone through makes me understand how hard it is to recover. I admire your strength.


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Good job Jen. Whats the next major life improvement you plan to make?

blu posted...

Good job Jen. Whats the next major life improvement you plan to make?

babynames.com

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blu posted...

Good job Jen. Whats the next major life improvement you plan to make?

I'm already in grad school. So nothing.

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and you bought a house!

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RCtheWSBC posted...

and you bought a house!

I sure did

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arv says congrats!

Glad to hear it!

Jen0125 posted...

I haven't drank at all. I'm an alcoholic.

Maybe there is a language barrier here, but is an alcoholic not a very statistically defined thing, that requires drinking certain amounts a week?

As in, by not drinking alcohol for over 2 years, you are not an alcoholic?

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There's a decent Craig Ferguson monolog about his alcoholism where he says people like that just cannot have a drink. Ever. You're never really over it if one drinl can spiral you back.

Not speaking for Jen but that's my understanding.

Nichtcrawler X posted...

Maybe there is a language barrier here, but is an alcoholic not a very statistically defined thing, that requires drinking certain amounts a week?

As in, by not drinking alcohol for over 2 years, you are not an alcoholic?

I think the terminolgy is debated. Some people will stop using the label if they feel they no longer have a drinking issue. Some people think once and alcoholic always an alcoholic.

I would still say I'm an alcoholic because I don't think I could ever safely or normally drink. I think I would immediately start binging again so I'm obviously not a normal drinker.

And alcoholism doesn't have a defined definition. People with alcoholism can drink a different number of units per day and still be alcoholics. It depends on if you're addicted and if you display unhealthy drinking behaviors.

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argonautweakend posted...

There's a decent Craig Ferguson monolog about his alcoholism where he says people like that just cannot have a drink. Ever. You're never really over it if one drinl can spiral you back.

Not speaking for Jen but that's my understanding.

Idk there are some people who say they've been able to drink normally through therapy but I don't see the value in risking it

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Jen0125 posted...

And alcoholism doesn't have a defined definition.

The one I think is used here, is 21M/15F standard-glasses a week, if at least 2 days were alcohol free, and obviously everything more than that.

Something says me that the definition you use, is not the one governments like, as it would make the official numbers worse.

Point is still, it works as long as it works for you. As a non-drinker I could never imagine how difficult an alcohol addiction could be. So I can only have respect for people who can wilfully balance their lives around it.

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Please don't laugh at me when I compare being addicted to soda, to being an alcoholic, but in reality if I drink soda, even just a glass while eating out, I have pretty much always started drinking soda again right afterwards and eventually had to force myself to stop.

I can't just have a can of soda, or just a sip of soda etc, if I have some, the desire comes back full force and I'm not ready to fight it right away, it takes time to build up the willpower to stop I guess.

I would imagine it's like that for alcoholics as well.

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Congrats on your progress. You're doing great, Jen.

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Nice job!

Speaking as an ex-alcoholic, I would say: you're never really an ex-alcoholic. It's years before you can risk another drink. I can't imagine that alcoholics who try to quit by telling themselves they'll just "cut down" are often successful. You have to draw a clear, straight line in the sand and tell yourself that you are not going to cross it.

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Jen0125 posted...

I haven't drank at all. I'm an alcoholic. There is no such thing for me as having a drink now and then. Even thinking of having a drink makes me think of binge drinking. My long term vision is to never drink again.

And thanks everyone :)

Wow! I can see how committing 100% could be easier than trying to regulate some nonzero amount. Awesome work

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Jen0125 posted...

I think the terminolgy is debated. Some people will stop using the label if they feel they no longer have a drinking issue. Some people think once and alcoholic always an alcoholic.

A lot of it depends on which treatment system or rehab program you're going through. Some will argue that "once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic" (and in that context, you'll hear phrases like "dry drunk" used), and some go even farther and argue that you literally cannot get clean unless you give up all pretense of self-determination in favor of placing yourself in the hands of a higher power (most 12-step programs).

Plenty of people would argue that it's possible to scale back from problem drinking to casual drinking or social drinking, mainly because there are people who've absolutely done it. Though alcoholics who went through a more severe time before rehabbing tend to want to go all-or-nothing because there's a fear of relapse. Why keep trying to drink, when you don't actually require alcohol, and you're risking loss of control by doing so? Better to just stay clean and sober. And most rehab programs tend to reinforce that mindset, where they treat any lapse of control as a blatant failure (which in turn, ironically, may make full relapse more likely).

For similar reasons the idea of "alcoholism as a disease" tends to be somewhat controversial. It was mostly adopted in the first place to keep people from being vindictive towards alcoholics (turning "this is the result of your own bad choices" into "this is an illness you cannot help, only treat"). But it really doesn't function like a disease, per se - it's more of a genetic predisposition, but environment and behavior still plays a very large role. It's more akin to something like lactose intolerance in a lot of ways.

It's also complicated because in a lot of cases, you're dealing with depression as a motivating factor, so excessive alcoholism isn't really caused by need for alcohol as much as it is an attempt to self-medicate for other problems.
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Good for you!

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Has it really been two years already? Wow! It sure doesnt feel like it...
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ParanoidObsessive posted...

A lot of it depends on which treatment system or rehab program you're going through. Some will argue that "once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic" (and in that context, you'll hear phrases like "dry drunk" used), and some go even farther and argue that you literally cannot get clean unless you give up all pretense of self-determination in favor of placing yourself in the hands of a higher power (most 12-step programs).

Plenty of people would argue that it's possible to scale back from problem drinking to casual drinking or social drinking, mainly because there are people who've absolutely done it. Though alcoholics who went through a more severe time before rehabbing tend to want to go all-or-nothing because there's a fear of relapse. Why keep trying to drink, when you don't actually require alcohol, and you're risking loss of control by doing so? Better to just stay clean and sober. And most rehab programs tend to reinforce that mindset, where they treat any lapse of control as a blatant failure (which in turn, ironically, may make full relapse more likely).

For similar reasons the idea of "alcoholism as a disease" tends to be somewhat controversial. It was mostly adopted in the first place to keep people from being vindictive towards alcoholics (turning "this is the result of your own bad choices" into "this is an illness you cannot help, only treat"). But it really doesn't function like a disease, per se - it's more of a genetic predisposition, but environment and behavior still plays a very large role. It's more akin to something like lactose intolerance in a lot of ways.

It's also complicated because in a lot of cases, you're dealing with depression as a motivating factor, so excessive alcoholism isn't really caused by need for alcohol as much as it is an attempt to self-medicate for other problems.

Yeah, my treatment center was 12 step and very much made it seem like you can't be sober without some type of program. I haven't gone to AA since a month after I got out and I'm fine. I mean sometimes I still want to drink but that's what my coping mechanisms are for. I'm not some raging dry drunk.

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Congratulations Jen
For some reason I thought it was earlier in the year when you went through this. But either way, going two years is good.

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Im 60 days sober here.

I feel better in terms of focus. Less depressed.

I have not lost any weight but my skin feels less dry/more hydrated.

I know il probabaly jump back into the alochol at some point but i also understand there is no "just have one drink" mentality. I like to pop the top off the defense and have 4-5 beers at an event.

Jen0125 posted...

I'm already in grad school. So nothing.

Oh yeah, I knew that but it slipped my mind. Major improvement in-progress.

teddy241 posted...

Im 60 days sober here.

I feel better in terms of focus. Less depressed.

I have not lost any weight but my skin feels less dry/more hydrated.

I know il probabaly jump back into the alochol at some point but i also understand there is no "just have one drink" mentality. I like to pop the top off the defense and have 4-5 beers at an event.

Well great job. Even small breaks are good for your organs.

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Jen0125 posted...

Yeah, my treatment center was 12 step and very much made it seem like you can't be sober without some type of program. I haven't gone to AA since a month after I got out and I'm fine. I mean sometimes I still want to drink but that's what my coping mechanisms are for. I'm not some raging dry drunk.

For what it's worth, most rehab programs don't have a significantly higher success rate than people simply going cold turkey on their own (about 5%), with the implication being that people have to want to change, and once they do, the desire to change is itself mostly sufficient to do so. Everything else is mostly just providing an emotional support system to help you maintain that desire - and the nature of that support is much less important than the fact that you've made the choice for yourself.

So as long as you have the motivation to stay sober, and have people who care about you and want to see you stay healthy, the lack of a distinct program isn't going to mean much in the long run.

Just seeing a therapist can accomplish as much as any established program or philosophy. So can, ironically, switching dependency to something else (like religion, either in "acceptable" forms like Born Again Christian or "fringe" groups like Scientology). The key is mainly just finding reasons to be a better person, regardless of what reasons you choose.
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Goin on 32 years, myself

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How much weight have you gained Jen I bet you are as fat as a panda now with a big belly lol @Jen0125

I haven't started yet , hey @LaggnFragnLarry how's your sobriety going?

rexcrk posted...

Goin on 32 years, myself

Hell yeah

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rexcrk posted...

Goin on 32 years, myself

32 years since you did have an alcohol problem, or 32 years since birth?

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Congrats it seemed like you just started last year. It really does go by like a blur.

Nichtcrawler X posted...

32 years since you did have an alcohol problem, or 32 years since birth?

No.. Im 32 years old lol I was trying to be cute and clever.

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rexcrk posted...

No.. Im 32 years old lol I was trying to be cute and clever.

So could I have, but no. There is nothing impressive about not partaking in something you have no experience with.
Especially in a topic like this.

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No jokes allowed here, nope

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Nichtcrawler X posted...

So could I have, but no. There is nothing impressive about not partaking in something you have no experience with.
Especially in a topic like this.

You think I was trying to be impressive?

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