Current Events > After having a few bats get into my apt, I tried to bat-proof it, didn't work

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fucking bat got in my apartment again even though I blocked off every little crack I thought they could get through... apparently I was right about where the last few came from... under the door leading into the basement (that space also leads up to the attic and apparently this building has had issues with bats in the attic in the past). Still, I blocked the cracks in that doorway and still, a bat got in. I saw it crawling around after getting through and I went to get to it to trap it before it started flying around but I was too late. Yelled at the fucker a bunch as it flew around and I was hoping to wear it out. I didn't want to hurt it, though I have plenty of ways to if it comes to that. Eventually, it sounded like it landed in a paper bag I reuse for shopping. The last bat that got in a few years ago did that and I got it outside with no issues, so I take the bag outside... and it's empty. Either it got out in the transition and I missed it or I got the wrong bag. Either way, that fucker was still flying around. It started to land sometimes and made angry noises at me so it was clearly tiring out. It went into my bathroom and I couldn't find it at first, but I heard it bitching at me when I hit the window curtain and it then tried to hide behind my towel but I shined a light in its face. Eventually I got fed up and started swatting at it with a t-shirt. I hit and stunned it and it crashed near my door so I corralled it into a bag and got it outside. I never wanted to hurt it, and the whole time, the more I had to deal with it, the cuter it started to look. Poor thing was clearly terrified. Ultimately though I got it outside and it was okay. Got its bearings on the lawn and then flew off toward a tree. I would have liked for things to have been smoother but fuck me this is the 4th time in a decade that I've had a bat get into my apartment like jesus christ LEAVE ME ALONE BATS I have no quarrels with you and my apartment is small and a pain in the ass for you so just fucking stay out like why would you do this to yourselves, like you're gonna have more PTSD than I am wtf... I dunno. I guess I'm glad I didn't resort to machetes or airsoft guns because it didn't deserve to die or get hurt. Like yeah, bats carry diseases and shit but I would rather safely get it outside than harm it and I've always been able to do that in the past in similar situations.

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Weasels eat bats. Just put a few of those in your house. Problem solved.



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What you need to do is post up outside close to dusk and see where they are flying out from. Get a flashlight if you need to. That is what's gonna let you know what their entrance/exit point is. Wait until they all leave for the night and close off the entrance/exit with netting. It might take a few nights, but without fail, they will leave to go eat. You just need to learn from where.

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Seriously tho I would die. I'm not even scared out bats but just having something that big flying around is not to my liking

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Dont let them bite you >.>

Dress in a clown costume, that will scare them.

Or attract them, not sure.

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Mabus: I thought I had done that after the last time. I blocked off the entry point and this one struggled through it anyway (it was crawling on the floor when I first spotted it and the entry point was on the floor, plus it was crawling over the stuff I put down to try and block them from coming in. I didn't do as good of a job as I thought I did :(. the good news is though that this is only the 3rd time in this apt. in 7 years, and the building was known to have an attic issue with them. If it doesn't get more frequent, I'm... not okay with it but... I guess tolerant of it...

Butterfiles: lol I hear ya but if it was an cool as fuck insect like a huge-ass moth or mantis, I would have been hopping up and down like an ecstatic kid. Bats are a bit more... intimidating... by size AND flight pattern (though I would love to handle moths that are bigger than lots of types of bats... and I've personally experienced how and why mantids are at the very top of the insect intelligence ladder...

But this fucking BAT had me yelling... and I wasn't even mad! I was like "WTF GET INTO THIS BAG I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING HURT YOU BUT YOU CAN'T JUST FLY AROUND IN MY APARTMENT MOTHERFUCKER, THAT'S TOO MUCH BULLSHIT! JUST LET ME HELP YOU!!!" It finally listened (obviously inadvertently. It was exhausted and couldn't fly after I hit it with a t-shirt)

462: It was having too many meltdowns to bit me, plus I was swinging at it and shining my phone flashlight thing in its face. When it chilled the fuck out and landed, it was like "I need to hide, this motherfucker is GONNA KILL ME" and I'm like "no just go outside wtf I'm trying to trap you without hurting you so I can help get you out. I opened the fucking door like 5-10 minutes ago and you didn't even try to fly out which means my cousin was FUCKING ANNOYINGLY WRONG WITH THE BAT ADVICE HE GAVE ME 2 YEARS AGO

neverwin: that's an interesting idea...

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Bats usually leave their lairs after dusk, and return an hour or so before dawn. You are going to have to surveil the outside of your house to see where they are getting in before you can block them off. If there is a streetlight out front, their entrance will be around the back away from light sources.

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Should have made some bat soup

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Sorry, Machete. When destiny calls you to become The Batman, it never lets you go.

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Drumiester posted...

Should have made some bat soup

it gives you the strength that you need.

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