Current Events > Pick a number 1 through 10, this is your reincarnation after you die

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MabusIncarnate
09/26/20 11:08:38 PM
#1:


1 - Dung Beetle. Your purpose in life is shit, it's all you care about. You roll up little piles of poop, and push them along the sand into your shitty little tunnel so you can eat it. Your entire diet consists of poop. This is your life now. You only live 3 years.

2 - Athletic Prodigy. You begin as a young teenager with the ability to be a superstar at the highest professional level in any single sport of your choosing. You will be in the highest professional league of whatever sport you decide and are the greatest player during the era you play. You earn millions upon millions and are widely loved by fans, globally.

3 - "Cat lady" Cat. You are born in a litter of kittens, in an old woman's house among 40 other felines. It's a one bedroom apartment, and she has named you, among 23 others "mittens." The odor is overwhelming and you constantly fight for kibble, and get smacked around by the bigger cats daily. If you can find a way to escape, you become an alley cat for the rest of your existence.

4 - Global Food Blogger. You are paid, all expenses covered, to travel the world, eat for free, and you have to just type a few paragraphs about it. You are very esteemed and respected in the industry, and make a base salary of 180k a year. You have the freedom to decide where you go and when, but you must visit at least 6 places per year.

5 - A Dolphin. You are the intelligent, lovable sea creature that is one of the only animals on the planet that has sex for pleasure. You can decide before being reincarnated what body of water you reside in, and can always travel given your own personal motivation. You will eventually die of natural causes, you will not be eaten or killed/caught by humans.

6 - Dumpster Shrub. You are that single little plant growing out of the crack in the concrete next to a dumpster. Stray dogs piss on you, garbage gets spilled on you, and you are consciously aware that you are a literal shrub and you are there until the plant dies. Your only saving grace is if the garbage men empty the dumpster and drop it on top of you, crushing you into oblivion.

7 - A Rich Poodle. You are now a poodle, you have a human brain but can only communicate and act like a dog, revealing your intelligence is impossible except for the things you may choose to learn. You live in a mansion, on 50 acres of land, which you are free to roam. You are fed steaks, prime rib, salmon, and other premium cooked meats instead of kibble. You are tremendously loved by your family, you have your own room with a heated bed and pool to swim in. This is also a child-free home for life.

8 - Cattle Inseminator. You are raised on a farm, in a farming town, and your primary job is manually inseminating cows. You get those long rubber gloves, shove your arm up to your elbow inside of a cow, and distribute the specimen inside. You travel the state in a rickety pick up truck that frequently breaks down, and perform this task daily. Your only off day is Sunday, the pay sucks, and even on Sunday, you have to tend to the crops on your own land. You are paid $9 per hour.

9 - Cuban Drug Lord. You were born into a legacy of drugs, murder, and wealth. Your father has passed on the family business to you when you turn 21. You are not immune from getting caught, or killed, you must use what you learned growing up to survive. You may not quit, or leave the job, this is your job until you reach the age of 65, if you live that long, and you pass it on. At this point, you will never be caught or murdered, you can live out the rest of your days filthy rich and happy.

10 - Private Island Caretaker. The owners are only there 2 warm months of the year, which you have your own guest house to live in, or you may leave for 2 months. The other 10 months, you have the entire island to yourself, with access to great fishing, a boat, Amazon delivery service, high speed internet, that year's model of smartphone of your choice with full service, solar powered electricity and running water. Your job is solely to stay there and watch over the place while they are gone, make sure it isn't trespassed upon and there are no wildfires, etc. You must live there alone, but can communicate to whoever from the outside world. No visitors. You are paid 250k a year.

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Ten million dollars on a losing campaign, Twenty million starving and writhing in pain. =~=;
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#2
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slmcknett
09/26/20 11:15:06 PM
#3:


Oh, thank God I chose 2

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NoMeLx22x
09/26/20 11:16:41 PM
#4:


I picked 4. Fuck yeah. Thanks this is what I really want to do in this life.

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DivideR
09/26/20 11:17:37 PM
#5:


7.
Pretty good tbqh.

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sauceje
09/26/20 11:17:46 PM
#6:


>3
Damn this sucks

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MabusIncarnate
09/26/20 11:18:21 PM
#7:


I did something like this a few months ago, and the only same option from last poll is the Dumpster Shrub. I also had the condition that if you picked #6 I would tag you as Dumpster Shrub. I will do the same again here.

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Ten million dollars on a losing campaign, Twenty million starving and writhing in pain. =~=;
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CanuckCowboy
09/26/20 11:18:23 PM
#8:


7.

Not bad.

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Harpie
09/26/20 11:44:15 PM
#9:


10

Wow literally the best one out of them all. Thats a dream. Me, alone, on an island making $250k a year? I would say that I would retire after 10 years but this is already perfect lol

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Darkninja42
09/26/20 11:47:28 PM
#10:


4, started to choose 6 for the birth month, but went with day instead

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bigtiggie23
09/26/20 11:48:14 PM
#11:


But I don't want to inseminate cows.
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#12
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YugiNoob
09/26/20 11:49:11 PM
#13:


4 always wins :D

Although the caretaker sounds decent too. No visitors is a downer, but getting $250K a year to make sure some rich dude's house doesn't go up in flames/robbed is a great deal. He must have cameras or something, and being on a private island makes it all the easier to keep out trespassers :3

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MabusIncarnate
09/26/20 11:52:19 PM
#14:


bigtiggie23 posted...
But I don't want to inseminate cows.
womp womp

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a-c-a-b
09/26/20 11:55:09 PM
#15:


I'm a Cuban drug lord.

I always pick 9. It was always my jersey # playing hockey and baseball as a kid.
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CanuckCowboy
09/26/20 11:56:51 PM
#16:


bigtiggie23 posted...
But I don't want to inseminate cows.

Shut up and put your forearm in that cow!!!

>_>

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MabusIncarnate
09/26/20 11:56:54 PM
#17:


I feel like the drug lord isn't a bad option, lots of blow, money and women. Just gotta be smart about it.

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Ten million dollars on a losing campaign, Twenty million starving and writhing in pain. =~=;
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Tyranthraxus
09/26/20 11:59:14 PM
#18:


7. Sounds nice but honestly being human intelligent while trapped in a dog body seems kinda torturous.

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008Zulu
09/27/20 12:03:41 AM
#19:


9 - Cuban Drug Lord.

Well, it's Cuba, so I am probably the richest person there. Paying off the cops shouldn't be a problem.

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ghettoraider81
09/27/20 12:06:15 AM
#20:


008Zulu posted...
9 - Cuban Drug Lord.

Well, it's Cuba, so I am probably the richest person there. Paying off the cops shouldn't be a problem.


not usually cops that drug lords have to worry about

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CanuckCowboy
09/27/20 12:06:42 AM
#21:


MabusIncarnate posted...
I feel like the drug lord isn't a bad option, lots of blow, money and women. Just gotta be smart about it.

Its the shit id have to do/order to hold my position i couldnt live with.

Otherwise it would be awesome as fuck.

---
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MabusIncarnate
09/27/20 12:07:30 AM
#22:


Yeah there's for sure a big moral dilemma that comes with the job to say the least.

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Ten million dollars on a losing campaign, Twenty million starving and writhing in pain. =~=;
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JimCarrysToe
09/27/20 12:08:12 AM
#23:


I was gonna pick 3 but I always pick 3 in these kinds of topics so I thought I'd double it

....

Idrk which is worse....

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Smackems
09/27/20 12:08:14 AM
#24:


6

I'm fine with that

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Common sense is stupid - some dude
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The-Apostle
09/27/20 12:09:13 AM
#25:


Global Food Blogger. Awesome.

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JimCarrysToe
09/27/20 12:09:22 AM
#26:


Smackems posted...
6

I'm fine with that
*dumpster shrub five*

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MabusIncarnate
09/27/20 12:09:39 AM
#27:


@JimCarrysToe tagged as Dumpster Shrub
@Smackems changing your tag from Pubert to Dumpster Shrub

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Ten million dollars on a losing campaign, Twenty million starving and writhing in pain. =~=;
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Smackems
09/27/20 12:11:55 AM
#28:


MabusIncarnate posted...
@JimCarrysToe tagged as Dumpster Shrub
@Smackems changing your tag from Pubert to Dumpster Shrub
Aw shit I'm gonna miss being Pubert

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Kajagogo
09/27/20 12:12:28 AM
#29:


Traveling foodie writer was my dream job ever since I was a little kid.

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Simp
09/27/20 12:14:57 AM
#30:


thank god I always wanted to be a poodle
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MabusIncarnate
09/27/20 12:15:19 AM
#31:


Kajagogo posted...
Traveling foodie writer was my dream job ever since I was a little kid.
I watched some series on Netflix called "Restaurants on the Edge" on Netflix, and it focuses on the most amazingly beautiful parts of the world with failing restaurants, and they go to fix them up. I watched them go from different paradise locations across the planet and thought "They are getting paid for this. They go to these amazing places, eat, and get paid for it" and it inspired the topic option.

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Ten million dollars on a losing campaign, Twenty million starving and writhing in pain. =~=;
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FortuneCookie
09/27/20 12:21:17 AM
#32:


MabusIncarnate posted...


7 - A Rich Poodle. You are now a poodle, you have a human brain but can only communicate and act like a dog, revealing your intelligence is impossible except for the things you may choose to learn. You live in a mansion, on 50 acres of land, which you are free to roam. You are fed steaks, prime rib, salmon, and other premium cooked meats instead of kibble. You are tremendously loved by your family, you have your own room with a heated bed and pool to swim in. This is also a child-free home for life.



If I get to share said mansion with this poodle, it might not be such a bad reincarnation.

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MabusIncarnate
09/27/20 12:25:38 AM
#33:


FortuneCookie posted...


If I get to share said mansion with this poodle, it might not be such a bad reincarnation.
You do you, lol. There can be another poodle there, idc.

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Ten million dollars on a losing campaign, Twenty million starving and writhing in pain. =~=;
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yutterh
09/27/20 12:44:01 AM
#34:


Harpie posted...
10

Wow literally the best one out of them all. Thats a dream. Me, alone, on an island making $250k a year? I would say that I would retire after 10 years but this is already perfect lol

Same, it would he my dream life honestly. Away from civilization and have food and games. I he set for all eternity.

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FL81
09/27/20 12:48:52 AM
#35:


4 always wins

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MabusIncarnate
09/27/20 3:31:56 AM
#36:


Need more dumpster shrubs

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Ten million dollars on a losing campaign, Twenty million starving and writhing in pain. =~=;
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Kajagogo
09/27/20 3:58:07 AM
#37:


MabusIncarnate posted...
I watched some series on Netflix called "Restaurants on the Edge" on Netflix, and it focuses on the most amazingly beautiful parts of the world with failing restaurants, and they go to fix them up. I watched them go from different paradise locations across the planet and thought "They are getting paid for this. They go to these amazing places, eat, and get paid for it" and it inspired the topic option.


Cool. I'll put that show on my Bucket list.

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SSMajinVegeta2
09/27/20 4:00:02 AM
#38:


#9

exact opposite of my current life lol

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#39
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LumaRosalina
09/27/20 4:41:59 AM
#40:


Lucky 7 always wins.
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Killmonger
09/27/20 4:52:28 AM
#41:


slmcknett posted...
Oh, thank God I chose 2


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Naruto_fan_42
09/27/20 5:05:30 AM
#42:


8. Oh come on.

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bigtiggie23
09/27/20 5:07:22 AM
#43:


Naruto_fan_42 posted...
8. Oh come on.

Let's both agree to never pick 8 again.
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hakujo
09/27/20 5:27:04 AM
#44:


sauceje posted...
>3
Damn this sucks
Stop stealing my food... #3 also.

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Tsuyoi3
09/27/20 6:20:28 AM
#45:


3.
I've known at least 1 "cat lady"
Very nice, practically saved my kitten with advice. She wasn't quite old yet. She had a few automatic nice scented spray things.
I would hope to steer mine toward one.
I will rule my cat domain, be doted on, and cherish my kind human.

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WilliamPorygon
09/27/20 6:29:22 AM
#46:


I wanted 5 (dolphin) but guessed 1 (dung beetle). Which pretty much sums up my life.

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FF_Redux
09/27/20 6:30:28 AM
#47:


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FortuneCookie
09/27/20 8:27:43 PM
#48:


MabusIncarnate posted...
You do you, lol. There can be another poodle there, idc.

:3

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Johnny_Nutcase
09/27/20 8:30:11 PM
#49:


Picked 7 so I'd have inner depression about being a Poodle, but the lifestyle would be nice.

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CanuckCowboy
09/27/20 8:35:16 PM
#50:


Johnny_Nutcase posted...
Picked 7 so I'd have inner depression about being a Poodle, but the lifestyle would be nice.

Big poodles not raised by weirdos are actually cool dogs. They get a bad rap.

Theyre like pitbulls except instead of shit idiot wannabe tough guys and general losers giving em a bad reputation its the.... its like the dog for dog owners who would
put their daughter on toddlers and tiaras.

Its not dogs fault.

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