Current Events > You have 2 sons. 1 is a world class athlete, the other is a lazy fatass.

(+) Yeah! (+)

You end up having 2 kids. The first one gets Straight As in school, gets a degree in Exercise Psychology at Ball State University, then becomes an athlete winning several events including medals at the Olympic games. He even set a few world records that were eventually broken but he held them for a while.

He marries his highschool sweetheart and is now a spokesperson for a vareity of products including Bolt Action energy drinks, Huawei cell phones, Endurance condoms, Perfumeria France Inc. colonge and others. Comfortably earning more than 7 figures a year.

Meanwhile your other son one year younger spent his time in high school getting Ds in everything. Never pursued further education. Has a conga line of girlfriends who you never see or hear from again after a week or two. He is unemployed, still lives with you and spends his time sitting on the couch, eating junk food while watching reruns of Star Trek Voyager and Becker, playing video games or writing an online thesis about how the Star Wars Prequels were actually great movies.

The other parent comes into the room, turns off the TV and is like "Enough is enough! You need to get a job!"

"Fiiiiiine! I go make some money this afternoon." Your second son says

"No! Selling weed to Jane and Red is not a job! You need to stop doing that!" the other parent yells.

"Ugh 'Now go get a job! Now don't make money!' I just can't win with you!" your second son says while guzzling Doritos and whipping out his Playstation Midas (the newest handheld Sony console in the future)

The other parent turns to you and is like "I don't understand where we went wrong. We raised them both the same!"

https://i.imgur.com/U3XG8Og.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/FfTm7AY.jpg

How do you react?
What do you do?
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I kick his ass out the house, change the locks and force him to adapt or die.

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I take the Asian man that my wife clearly cheated on me with to father the second son to court.

You missed an opportunity to put that big smoke boogie with a gun pic as the the second pic.

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If I have the space for it on my property, I'd have him start growing a garden. He needs direction, responsibility, and guidance to get anywhere, ideally in a structured environment. On top of that, I'd try to get him jobs he can try out. If he enjoys it, we're making progress, if not, we keep it moving with something else.

I basically was in that position a few years back though I had a solid education. Just didn't care about the field enough to push to start a career in. So I ended up job hopping between unexpected fields and had nothing substantial or permanent. Currently, I'm stuck in a job I'm bored to death with now but I got because someone who worked with my parents knew I was jobless and decided to help out. Through this job, I have had the time and capital to figure out a direction for my life that I currently am trying to transition to.

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I love both my sons, but Becker is the tiebreaker.

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Play vidya with my good son

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Maybe the other wouldnt be a lazy fatass if I invested in them too not just the favored child.

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FabIe posted...

Play vidya with my good son

This, after divorcing my spouse for criticizing him

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Tenlaar posted...

I take the Asian man that my wife clearly cheated on me with to father the second son to court.

They look like your sons

The pictures are just stand ins
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Wesley, get me the A&E network..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBLjLPoQYMc
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I'd support my wife and help him find an appropriate job.

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Why they gotta be sons

Shotgunnova posted...

I love both my sons, but Becker is the tiebreaker.

Win or loss tiebreaker?
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UnfairRepresent posted...

Win or loss tiebreaker?

...Yes.

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Which is it?
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ask the fat one "you joined gamefaqs didn't you?"

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RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

I kick his ass out the house, change the locks and force him to adapt or die.

The right answer is to continue buying him food and let him lay there peacefully

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UnfairRepresent posted...

while watching reruns of Becker

that's my boy

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I confess to her that while we were raising them, I had been transferring talent from one son to the other in order to create the ultimate son. Unfortunately, that also left us with an untalented worthless son, but knowing that I am the one who caused him to be like this is why I have never objected to us supporting him well into adulthood.

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"Guzzling Doritos."

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uwnim posted...

I confess to her that while we were raising them, I had been transferring talent from one son to the other in order to create the ultimate son. Unfortunately, that also left us with an untalented worthless son, but knowing that I am the one who caused him to be like this is why I have never objected to us supporting him well into adulthood.

Sounds like a black mirror plot
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I tell Crabapple (the worthless son) that we're gonna go meet his childhood hero Matt Damon.

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