Current Events > Who matters more. Spouse, or child?

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cuttin_in_farm
12/06/20 11:40:42 AM
#1:


Decide.


This isnt solely about if someone is dying.

Just in general.

I was out with friends yesterday, and it came up. They seemed surprised that I would theoretically value my child more than my wife.

My logic is that while I would love both, my child since the start of their life relies and has been with me.

Whereas a spouse would have already experienced a lot of their formative years without me, and could easily leave at any time.

I was curious on the perspective on this. Honest preference to people with actual spouses and children.

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monkmith
12/06/20 11:42:19 AM
#2:


biologically? child.

emotionally? depends on the person i guess.

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vigorm0rtis
12/06/20 11:44:25 AM
#3:


I don't have or want kids, so spouse.

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#4
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Dreepapult
12/06/20 11:46:42 AM
#5:


Value of preserving their life? Child

Relationship? Spouse. Your marriage is the bedrock of everything else. So if your marriage isn't well maintained, everything else will slowly fall apart. Including your relationship with your children.

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ultramat
12/06/20 11:47:34 AM
#6:


cuttin_in_farm posted...
My logic is that while I would love both, my child since the start of their life relies and has been with me.

Child gets 'unconditional love': nothing they do will stop me as a parent from loving them, e.g. murder or 'I hate you Dad', etc.

Spouse has many conditions. If they cheat or tell me they don't love me, well get divorced.

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Colorahdo
12/06/20 11:47:54 AM
#7:


child is a part of you, you have a responsibility to the child for bringing it into the world

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ScazarMeltex
12/06/20 11:48:08 AM
#8:


I can always have another kid with the same wife.

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divot1338
12/06/20 11:57:56 AM
#9:


Girl child or boy child?

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lilORANG
12/06/20 11:58:31 AM
#10:


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Romulox28
12/06/20 11:58:53 AM
#11:


Dreepapult posted...
Value of preserving their life? Child

Relationship? Spouse. Your marriage is the bedrock of everything else. So if your marriage isn't well maintained, everything else will slowly fall apart. Including your relationship with your children.


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im not 13
12/06/20 11:59:51 AM
#12:


Only people that don't have either can easily chose

Or even ask this stupid question

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cuttin_in_farm
12/06/20 12:26:25 PM
#13:


im not 13 posted...
Only people that don't have either can easily chose

Or even ask this stupid question

So your answer is...?

divot1338 posted...
Girl child or boy child?

Will that matter?

ScazarMeltex posted...
I can always have another kid with the same wife.

You can have another wife while keeping the same kid too.

Dreepapult posted...
Relationship? Spouse. Your marriage is the bedrock of everything else. So if your marriage isn't well maintained, everything else will slowly fall apart. Including your relationship with your children.

I find this hard to believe as single parents who have healthy relationships with their children exist. And as someone with no experience of what a supportive two parent household looks like, I feel like its overvalued.

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Tyranthraxus
12/06/20 12:31:17 PM
#14:


It would depend on the ages involved I guess.

If I was forced to pick in a Sophie's choice scenario I'd probably pick the child since it's unlikely my spouse would want to associate with me after that if I didn't.

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Sheeeeesh
12/06/20 12:36:50 PM
#15:


child matters more, I bet your husband/wife thinks the same
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Dreepapult
12/06/20 12:38:56 PM
#16:


Just because you haven't grown up in a healthy 2 parent household doesn't mean it isn't important...

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Cleo_II
12/06/20 12:41:02 PM
#17:


ultramat posted...
Child gets 'unconditional love': nothing they do will stop me as a parent from loving them, e.g. murder or 'I hate you Dad', etc.

Spouse has many conditions. If they cheat or tell me they don't love me, well get divorced.
This is my sentiment exactly. In terms of essential needs, child comes first of course. But my husband will always come first to me relationship wise. Or we risk destroying the family unit. That means being a team together and presenting a united front.

So many marriages fall apart because everything becomes just about the kids.
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ZeroX91
12/06/20 12:42:46 PM
#18:


Context is needed there are times where your spouce matters more but generally the child.

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Buu_88
12/06/20 12:43:58 PM
#19:


I've told my wife if there was ever a situation where she'd be giving birth and there was some kind of complication where I'd have to choose between her and the unborn child I told her if pick her everytime

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Arcanine2009
12/06/20 12:45:03 PM
#20:


Dreepapult posted...
Value of preserving their life? Child

Relationship? Spouse. Your marriage is the bedrock of everything else. So if your marriage isn't well maintained, everything else will slowly fall apart. Including your relationship with your children.
Having a good relationship with your child is just as important. You might have a psycho husband/wife and nothing you do could change them

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Squall28
12/06/20 12:45:50 PM
#21:


Depends on if you settled for your marriage.

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PoundGarden
12/06/20 12:46:44 PM
#22:


Depends who the bigger asshole is I suppose

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Lost_All_Senses
12/06/20 1:26:50 PM
#23:


Without specific context, the kid.

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Dreepapult
12/06/20 2:45:56 PM
#24:


Arcanine2009 posted...
Having a good relationship with your child is just as important. You might have a psycho husband/wife and nothing you do could change them
This is true. I was speaking with the meaning of an at least somewhat functional marriage.

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Zodd3224
12/06/20 2:49:56 PM
#25:


Any parent knows the answer to this without having to think about it

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cuttin_in_farm
12/07/20 3:02:29 PM
#26:


Bump

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