Current Events > Today I had the closest thing I've ever had to a date

(+) Yeah! (+)

Had lunch with a girl coworker for about an hour

it was nice

when are you gonna pop the question.

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That's what we call on CE as getting lucky.

ibu1996 posted...

when are you gonna pop the question.

I dont think were ready for marriage

no. the other question

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ibu1996 posted...

no. the other question

Do these jeans make my ass look fat?

no. you know what question I'm talking about.

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ibu1996 posted...

no. you know what question I'm talking about.

Coke or Pepsi?

Next lunch its time to eat the booty

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Wait I already know the answer, she was drinking Coke

even more of a reason to hurry up and pop the question

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DuranOfForcena posted...

what did you guys talk about? did you get the feeling she thought it was nice too? if so you should ask if she's doing anything over the weekend or something, see if she wants to meet up for a cup of coffee.

there was this woman coworker i had a few lunches with when i worked at walmart. i wasn't really into her tbh. she talked a lot, she basically never shut up,and she gossiped about people and complained to me a bunch about this other guy who worked there who she had briefly dated, like i gave a crap.

but i kind of regret not at least seeing where things could have gone with her, if only to get some dating experience. i know she would have wanted to. i had tried to go out with this other woman who worked there and failed miserably, and she asked me a couple times things like how i was feeling after that and if still liked the other chick and if i had anyone else in my sights. and she brought up sexual subjects with me a few times, pretty suggestively, and i just kinda clammed up whenever she did lol. i was so freaking lame.

we went to the casino together one time after work, but it wasn't really a date. i don't know exactly what it was. neither of us really were clear with each other about what it was we were doing. and like i said, i really wasn't that into her. but yeah, i still kinda wish i would have pursued it. are you into this woman at all? you will probably regret never trying to see if there is anything more there much more than you would regret trying and not succeeding.

did you ever pop the question either

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We just talked a little about a bunch of things. Some about how her school is going, what weve been doing outside of work lately, what our parents do, stuff like that. What were going to do after our current jobs end (were interns basically).

She either was enjoying herself somehow (I have no idea how, seriously, she was talking to me ffs) or is just entirely too nice. Were supposed to have 30 minute lunch breaks and we were there for an hour.

I would like to ask her out (although Im terrified of doing so, I have no idea what to do if she says yes) but this weekend was definitely not a good time for her, shes really busy with school right now. Maybe in a couple weeks.

and yeah, Im super into her, have been for weeks now.

DuranOfForcena posted...

you have a specific activity

@DarthAragorn I know exactly what activity you should have

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Is it going to Chilis for a mediocre dinner and the most disappointing date of her life

Have a few more lunch dates with her and feel her out, den pop da famous question if you feel like she
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"Do you want to see my anime collection?"

babynames.com

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DarthAragorn posted...

Is it going to Chilis for a mediocre dinner and the most disappointing date of her life

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Flauros posted...

babynames.com

nice

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@DarthAragorn
Just use google maps and scout the local area for interesting food things, maybe catch a movie if those are open. I think you should ask, rejection or not, just to fucking do it.

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Rooting for u dartharagorn

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Thanks guys

congrats dude. baby steps man.

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Conflict posted...

Do you feel more confident in yourself now

A little bit.

DuranOfForcena posted...

you can try watching youtube videos on personal growth and building confidence. i've been looking stuff like that up lately, and watching or listening to them while i'm taking my daily brisk walk and doing my physical therapy regimen. a lot of it is clickbaity bullshit, pseudoscience, and stuff that straight up contradicts other stuff, even on the same channel, so you have to kinda take most of it with a grain of salt, but some of it has helped me out a bit.

the main channels i've found helpful for content like this is The Art of Personal Growth, BRIGHT SIDE, and TopThink. Charisma on Command, Psycho2Go, The Life Formula, Success Formulas, and Daily Stoic have all had at least a couple videos i've found helpful too.

also i've been looking at channels that are about dating advice and advice on how to be more confident with women specifically. it's not any Pick-Up-Artist or negging crap or anything like that. some of it seems like pretty good, genuine advice. i've watched quite a few videos from channels like Marni Your Personal Wing Girl, Your Wingmam, Apollonia Ponti, Courtney Ryan, Mantelligence Dating, Alpha M., Tripp Advice, and Far From Average. they all come with pretty much the same grain of salt warning as the channels above though, and even extra in that pretty much all of them are actually mostly trying to sell you on products or programs that supposedly go beyond what they talk about on youtube, and that all sound pretty scammy. so just beware of that.

You realize everything you just listed is "pick up artist crap" right? This is exactly what I've been banging on about in all my topics about how different "pick up artist crap" is today and how things like negging are not taught at all any more @DuranOfForcena
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Dakimakura posted...

That's what we call on CE as getting lucky.

Spending more than 5 minutes with someone other than your sister or mom.

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babynames.com

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DuranOfForcena posted...

some of it is, yeah. some of it isn't though. a lot of it is just ways to be more confident and conversation starters and stuff, and the psychological aspects and signs of attraction that both men and women can do, either consciously or unconsciously.

what...you're still missing the point...what you're describing IS pick up artist stuff. all of that is exactly what i've been talking about on here for years. forget everything you think you know about "pick up artists"...a "pick up artist" is someone that studies and applies all the stuff you literally just talked about. by definition, you are a pick up artist now @DuranOfForcena
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Good job TC! No better time to have lunch with a girl that's not attracted to you than in the middle of a pandemic!

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DuranOfForcena posted...

uh, fine, i guess, lol

people always think about early 2000s mystery method and negging because that's what the phrase became associated with when being a pick up artist is completely different nowadays. all it is is advanced dating techniques. like you said, it's things that help everyone and lots of people could use. none of it is malicious, they are just meant to help people be more successful with dating. i highly suggest @DarthAragorn look into it.
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Nice bro! Only piece of advice I have is to not ever use the word date out loud soon. She seems chill, so feed off that. Try to get her vibe down. If the first lunch wasn't a date, the second shouldn't be. Just simply say "Hey, wanna grab lunch again?" when the opportunity arises.

Keep at it, and allow yourself the thought that someone likes your company. Let that ember grow into something over time.

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CommunismFTW posted...

Nice bro! Only piece of advice I have is to not ever use the word date out loud soon. She seems chill, so feed off that. Try to get her vibe down. If the first lunch wasn't a date, the second shouldn't be. Just simply say "Hey, wanna grab lunch again?" when the opportunity arises.

Keep at it, and allow yourself the thought that someone likes your company. Let that ember grow into something over time.

gotta be careful with that game, eventually lunch will always just be lunch and never a date. if enough lunches are just lunches, eventually if you ask her to dinner/drinks/etc it will just be dinner/drinks/etc and not a date either. in other words...youre gonna have to move faster than youre probably comfortable with
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No_U_L7 posted...

gotta be careful with that game, eventually lunch will always just be lunch and never a date. if enough lunches are just lunches, eventually if you ask her to dinner/drinks/etc it will just be dinner/drinks/etc and not a date either. in other words...youre gonna have to move faster than youre probably comfortable with

For sure, but I mean, the transition time is on him. I'm simply saying that time isn't next time. A good transition would be to say lunch out of work, since I'm getting the impression this was an at the job thing. All dating is slow/rush flux, don't want the dude overthinking anything too much either y'know.

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CommunismFTW posted...

For sure, but I mean, the transition time is on him. I'm simply saying that time isn't next time. A good transition would be to say lunch out of work, since I'm getting the impression this was an at the job thing. All dating is slow/rush flux, don't want the dude overthinking anything too much either y'know.

i know what you mean...tc doesnt and could use it as an excuse to take it slow. its only a few months intern position...he probably wants to put it off until the internship is about to end. realistic timeline is within a couple weeks
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No_U_L7 posted...

i know what you mean...tc doesnt and could use it as an excuse to take it slow. its only a few months intern position...he probably wants to put it off until the internship is about to end. realistic timeline is within a couple weeks

Nah actually you right bro, good call. I didn't spot the internship part.

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DuranOfForcena posted...

isn't that what suggesting to meet up over coffee is good for though? i mean, it's not a "date" technically, but a possible intermediary step toward one, that gets you and her seeing each other outside of the context of work, without a whole lot of pressure. admittedly i'm just trying to figure out all this stuff too.

Sounds perfect

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Yeah this was at work technically. Im not sure how to transition from this to anything else, I dont think she has any interest whatsoever in me beyond just someone to be friendly with at work so I dont feel great about it.

it's better than nothing even if it was just platonic

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DuranOfForcena posted...

isn't that what suggesting to meet up over coffee is good for though? i mean, it's not a "date" technically, but a possible intermediary step toward one, that gets you and her seeing each other outside of the context of work, without a whole lot of pressure. admittedly i'm just trying to figure out all this stuff too.

coffee in and of itself is fine, problem is TC wouldn't know how to frame it properly. if he just asks her "hey let's grab coffee this time" she could agree...and have no idea he means it as a date and may even think he means it during work hours.

to escalate, you really need to sub communicate what you want, that it is in fact a date. this is mostly done via flirting, which TC will probably have no idea how to do. the entire lunch conversation just seems like a conversation, with no flirtiness, jokes or male to female communication. you may even want to bump that up from coffee to alcohol, because nothing sub communicates that it isn't work related like drinking. and make sure the location you choose is nowhere by work, want to remove that association as much as possible
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DarthAragorn posted...

Yeah this was at work technically. Im not sure how to transition from this to anything else, I dont think she has any interest whatsoever in me beyond just someone to be friendly with at work so I dont feel great about it.

this is why i became a pick up artist. even if you dont learn anything that helps you this time, it's a learning experience for next time
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Yeah after thinking about this I feel nowhere near as good about it as I did earlier today