Current Events > When did you realize you fucking hate yourself?

(+) Yeah! (+)

electricbugs2 posted...

No not at all.

There is nothing good in my life and many others

early 20s or so, maybe before

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it's funny, though, cause i'd say that i've had depression since i was 12 (if not younger), but was still kinda paradoxically narcissistic (primarily with regards to my looks) well into my teens and early adulthood

even now at 30, i still think i'm decent looking (still get a lot of those days where i think i'm super fucking ugly, though, don't get me wrong), and it's probably the only reason i haven't [tos violation] myself yet tbh, cause i've got nothing else going on otherwise

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also, regarding the eating-once-a-day thing that was brought up, i personally do this myself (though due to having ibs, not weight issues) with the occasional "cheat" day on days i'm really hungry

it's definitely hard at first, but if you can make it past the first week or two, you'll be in the clear

the thing about it, too, is that not eating is a totally passive thing - completely unlike exercising or whatever else - so it's just a matter of being disciplined enough to abstain

i mean, it's obviously not the easiest thing to do, but it's super. fucking. simple.

and you can still eat whatever you want, and feeling hungry all of the time will make even the most mundane meals taste amazing when you finally do get to eat

you save a ton of money eating only once a day too

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Eyeratosthenes posted...

The tone of this post seems snakelike. There's no need to handwave away serious issues like depression, self image, despair

You could have not said anything instead of taking a potshot at a dude down and out. Pretty low of you, man. And no one buys you were intending to give him advice, if that was going to be your rebuke.

Im on anti depressants myself. The whole my life has sucked since I came out of the womb thing that CE likes to peddle has gotten realllyyy old over the past 15 years. Theres ways to get help, its 2021. Wallowing in it doesnt help yourself.

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This topic explains a lot. Doesn't surprise me.

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electricbugs2 posted...

Im on anti depressants myself. The whole my life has sucked since I came out of the womb thing that CE likes to peddle has gotten realllyyy old over the past 15 years. Theres ways to get help, its 2021. Wallowing in it doesnt help yourself.

Ok, this is remarkably lacking in perspective. I would think as a clinically depressed person on medication, you would be privy to the fact it affects people differently, and can take enormous will to summon the strength to help yourself, or allow yourself to be helped. Coming in here to say "suck it up, life isnt so bad, smell the flowers" just seems worse now that you've said you're on anti-depressants. Just really not cool at all. You knew you weren't helping. And there's no reason other peoples' depression should annoy you so badly as to hit them while they're down

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electricbugs2 posted...

its 2021.

We still don't have universal healthcare in the USA, so idk what this is implying here.
Have our medicines even changed? Have we developed some new more effective talk-therapy method?

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help to be had? lol

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Frizzurd posted...

help to be had? lol

You can go to expensive therapy that may or may not work

DarthAragorn posted...

You can go to expensive therapy that may or may not work

Hence, why it isn't help. It's another way to prey upon the vulnerable.


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Oh I agree, therapy is trash

Therapy saved my life. Admittedly, I had to go through 3 therapists before settling on my current one. 2 psychiatrists and a social worker. My current guy is also a social worker. Been seeing him for years and my life would be wildly darker if I never ended up going

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I just dont see what good therapy can do, its not going to give me social skills or make me magically good at anything, Ill still have nothing in my life but playing video games and being alone

DarthAragorn posted...

its not going to give me social skills

why not? Not all therapy is sitting around in chairs talking about your feelings

I'm considering starting occupational therapy myself soon
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DarthAragorn posted...

I just dont see what good therapy can do, its not going to give me social skills or make me magically good at anything, Ill still have nothing in my life but playing video games and being alone

so this is kind of not true. using the skills and techniques developed in therapy, you will lessen things like depression and anxiety, which in turn will make you appear more sociable and people will subconsciously give you more leeway

I had GAD and MDD for years before my guy. He helped me work out a way to overcome the anxiety almost completely, and over time my depression was mitigated too, albeit that took much longer. But when mental hangers-on like those start to get better, you do kind of just magically get better at interacting with people. I don't know how to explain it. And once I stopped getting so hung up in my brain, I could practice social interactions on coworkers (obviously without them knowing i consider them practice)

you should really give it another honest shot IMO

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Maybe thats all true but I honestly doubt you were nearly as socially as developmentally stunted as I am

i could be wrong but Im in fucking horrible shape

DarthAragorn posted...

Maybe thats all true but I honestly doubt you were nearly as socially as developmentally stunted as I am

i could be wrong but Im in fucking horrible shape

I was a 340lb man child and pretty much hadnt spoken to a girl til i was like 19. Even then I was still that 340lb manchild for like 4 more years. I walked around wearing cringey t-shirts and oversized cargo shorts. My hair and skin were greasy af, to boot. At that size I'm pretty sure I stank too

Your perception of yourself is horribly skewed if you think people couldn't have been worse than you currently are

I'm a bit wary to post pics

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14 lol

Eyeratosthenes posted...

I was a 340lb man child and pretty much hadnt spoken to a girl til i was like 19. Even then I was still that 340lb manchild for like 4 more years. I walked around wearing cringey t-shirts and oversized cargo shorts. My hair and skin were greasy af, to boot. At that size I'm pretty sure I stank too

Your perception of yourself is horribly skewed if you think people couldn't have been worse than you currently are

I'm a bit wary to post pics

That sucks. Did you have friends at least? I havent for almost a decade.

I can't really remember a time I didn't realize this.

probably like 2012 (i was 18) i was a fat pos who went through 4 years of college without talking to a single person outside of forced group projects and did nothing but play league of legends and go to class

post college i got a job and wanted to date so i started caring about how i presented myself (lost weight, better hygiene and grooming), and got on dating apps which allowed me to practice my social skills even if most of them went nowhere

now i have hobbies outside of gaming, good friends, am no longer a virgin, and no longer hate myself

the biggest thing was losing weight. people treat you better and it raised my confidence evels
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DarthAragorn posted...

That sucks. Did you have friends at least? I havent for almost a decade.

I had people who I spoke to but they weren't friends. A couple turned out to be complete poison post-high school, and the rest couldn't be assed to maintain contact. I didn't have friends until I got my first desk job

I think 1 friend from that time hit me with a token "hey long time" message in the past year, which annoyed me

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Vamp_Aubrey posted...

probably like 2012 (i was 18) i was a fat pos who went through 4 years of college without talking to a single person outside of forced group projects and did nothing but play league of legends and go to class

post college i got a job and wanted to date so i started caring about how i presented myself (lost weight, better hygiene and grooming), and got on dating apps which allowed me to practice my social skills even if most of them went nowhere

now i have hobbies outside of gaming, good friends, am no longer a virgin, and no longer hate myself

the biggest thing was losing weight. people treat you better and it raised my confidence evels

listen to the hottest CEgal, TC
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So I just have to be miserable the rest of my life to not be miserable the rest of my life

nice

Thanks for sharing that, Conflict. TC, I'm telling you some of us have come from pretty bleak places. Your self image has been skewed by years of social media (that includes this site, and it's poisoned me too in the past) and the entertainment industry. That's the only explanation for calling yourself fuck ugly

Conflict is right, you do need to be receptive to the help. You gotta allow yourself to believe youre not the unsalvageable mess you keep saying you are. Easier said than done but it has to start there dude

Just try walking. Bring a game, listen to a podcast or music, doesn't matter what you do as long as you're walking. 20 min a day is all it takes to get the blood pumping and begin improving mood. If you live near trees, walk an area with a lot of them. If I'm coming off patronizing just let me know - I just feel invested in this because I felt a similar way and was in a similar situation, just at a different point

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Had a panic attack on the way home for no reasons whatsoever so theres that

Panic attacks don't need reasons, and they most definitely suck. You're probably so tense, you should have some ginseng tea and take a nice steamy shower. Not that that would necessarily help with matters of the mind, but I find it helps inspire calm

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not sure if itll help but get the app headspace and start meditating daily, it then become useful for any high stress situation

it helps my daughter a lot with her anxiety

anyway ones thing for sure TC, if you want your life to improve you have to be pro active, no time to wallow in self-pity, just get shit done and trust the process and please get another therapist, its not garbage

Headspace is only free for the first ten lessons iirc but yea it's pretty decent

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