Poll of the Day > How does one become more talkative?

(+) Yeah! (+)

My friend told me all I really need to work on is being less quiet (and lose weight, but I know what to do for that)

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Speak your mind

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The_Hulk posted...

Speak your mind

That's what I do when I make topics and you know how that goes

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Muscles posted...

That's what I do when I make topics and you know how that goes

doesnt mean it is wrong for you

be yourself, boldly

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talk more

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The_Hulk posted...

doesnt mean it is wrong for you

be yourself, boldly

I am always being myself, which is the problem because I'm quiet lol

DevilSummoner1 posted...

talk more

Like, about what though? I spend too much time thinking about what I'm going to say/ how I'm gonna say it

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I think I would suggest: be less self-absorbed. become able to emotionally connect with people, by actually caring on an emotional level about them. actually genuinely want to contribute to the well-being of those around you. (for their benefit, not yours.) then, with that state of mind, voice your thoughts.

the problem can be that with an extremely self-absorbed narcissistic mind-set you're subconsciously aware that if you were more open that that would receive a negative reaction, and that's probably right.

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Muscles posted...

I spend too much time thinking about what I'm going to say/ how I'm gonna say it

Dont think about it that much. Just say things
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Habit. Most things are habit.

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Sahuagin posted...

I think I would suggest: be less self-absorbed. become able to emotionally connect with people, by actually caring on an emotional level about them. actually genuinely want to contribute to the well-being of those around you. (for their benefit, not yours.) then, with that state of mind, voice your thoughts.

the problem can be that with an extremely self-absorbed narcissistic mind-set you're subconsciously aware that if you were more open that that would receive a negative reaction, and that's probably right.

I'm not sure where to start with this but that's not why I'm quiet. I just can't think of things to say/how to word things I want to say so say nothing instead

I can generally keep going with things if I know the person well but tend to throw out any thoughts I want to talk about because I assume it'll bore them, like do women like talking about sports? I'm sure some do but you have to know your audience so I don't talk about that

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Years and years for having to as part of your job.

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LinkPizza posted...

Dont think about it that much. Just say things

I tend to splice 2 different sentences together when I do that and it just comes out as gibberish

Zeus posted...

Habit. Most things are habit.

Well whats a good habit to be successful at that?

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Sahuagin posted...

I think I would suggest: be less self-absorbed. become able to emotionally connect with people, by actually caring on an emotional level about them. actually genuinely want to contribute to the well-being of those around you. (for their benefit, not yours.) then, with that state of mind, voice your thoughts.

the problem can be that with an extremely self-absorbed narcissistic mind-set you're subconsciously aware that if you were more open that that would receive a negative reaction, and that's probably right.

Would this advice work for some nihilistic misanthrope who cannot be bothered to take any interest in other people and whatever they say, because he is far too self-concerned with his own troubles and generalizes the troubles that other people experience to be far less dire than his own?
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Muscles posted...

I am always being myself, which is the problem because I'm quiet lol

Nothing wrong with being naturally quiet and contemplative. Just dont be afraid to chime in when you feel you have something to say

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Maybe try reading aloud to yourself. Get used to your voice and cadence and gain some confidence in your pronunciation.

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The_Hulk posted...

Nothing wrong with being naturally quiet and contemplative. Just dont be afraid to chime in when you feel you have something to say

I'm not afraid to chime in, I just generally don't have something to chime in about

Firewood18 posted...

Maybe try reading aloud to yourself. Get used to your voice and cadence and gain some confidence in your pronunciation.

Huh, I didn't think of that but I'll try it

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I'm just gonna iterate this again.
I act totally differently with people at work when we're in the office than when we're remote.
This is because my personality (IMO) translates better in person face to face than online.
I learned to talk to and get along with people from talking to and getting along with people. I opened up over time. You can totally do this too, but doing the suggestions in this thread probably won't work.

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Methamphetamine

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Muscles posted...

I'm not afraid to chime in, I just generally don't have something to chime in about

Thats okay too

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Judgmenl posted...

I'm just gonna iterate this again.
I act totally differently with people at work when we're in the office than when we're remote.
This is because my personality (IMO) translates better in person face to face than online.
I learned to talk to and get along with people from talking to and getting along with people. I opened up over time. You can totally do this too, but doing the suggestions in this thread probably won't work.

That's pretty much how I do things now, I just don't open up fast and I feel like it sets things off on the wrong foot

The_Hulk posted...

Thats okay too

Ehh, I don't want to be the quiet guy that can't talk to girls as more than a friend

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Muscles posted...

Ehh, I don't want to be the quiet guy that can't talk to girls as more than a friend

okay then thats simple enough you just need to talk more while at the same time not talking when you should maybe not and in between those times talk sometimes but not at times that arent good for talking unless you want to

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Become vegan...

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With the reading aloud, it doesnt have to be with just yourself. Read a passage that speaks to you to someone else or better yet, if you know a child, read a story to them. The world needs that.

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The highest form of wisdom, is kindness.

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I have low IQ so idk

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I'm not naturally talkative, although I enjoy a conversation in a small group if we're talking about something I'm interested in. In 42 years I've learned:
1) I don't bother to trying to join a conversation if I'm in a 4+ person group with an extrovert or two. I'm not going to get in more than a sentence every 5 minutes or so at the best of times. Just try to become that guy that says something funny/interesting when he does speak up.
2) Work conversations are generally easier, should you still see people in person at your job: you can talk about work or coworkers or the weather or whatever. People are generally happy to talk so they don't have to, you know, work.
3) One of the less-appreciated-than-it-should-be losses in American society is the lack of local organizations/VFWs/churches/whatever where people used to get together with a regular group. These held us together, exposed us to different viewpoints, and gave us social circles. They don't really exist in the same way anymore. Anyways, if you have any "in" with such a group it helps greatly (I still occasionally attend a church mostly - to be honest - because there's a small group of people I can talk with).
4) In my case, now that I've been isolated in my house for 18 months (and the news is generally depressing) I really struggle to find anything interesting to say. "I sat in my office all day again and society is still collapsing" It's never been harder than now.
5) Try initiating conversations. If you start a conversation you can control the topic and you'll be involved from the start. But yeah, #4 is a problem (combined, in my case, with my general lack of interest in the things most people like to talk about).

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If you feel like you've got nothing to talk about, then get engaged in something to make yourself a little more interesting -- and then maybe you'll have something more to talk about!

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Criminalt posted...

If you feel like you've got nothing to talk about, then get engaged in something to make yourself a little more interesting -- and then maybe you'll have something more to talk about!

I have a lot of things to talk about, they just don't seem to appeal to most women I've met, like sports, books, video games, rock music, etc. I can generally keep a conversation going with girls but sometimes it just feels like the conversation just slows down and I run out of things to talk about. How soon that happens depends on the person but I want to have good conversations with girls too, its kinda frustrating that's there's such a huge difference

I've had a few girl friends over the years that I was closer to than any guy friends but even then the conversations weren't always as easy flowing

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Muscles posted...

like sports, books, video games, rock music, etc.

There are definitely a ton of women out there interested in all of those things

OhhhJa posted...

There are definitely a ton of women out there interested in all of those things

I know that, which is why I said most women I've met

Of the ones interested in those that I have met it's usually a friend/family member's gf so usually just get cool with them until the breakup and become strangers again

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Eh. I used to get that "you're quite" remark but I just find other peoples conversation more interesting most the time.

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I always feel like I'm quiet but people tell me I'm loud lol