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Current Events > Stonewall Jackson used to chase his wife around with his sword.

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UnfairRepresent
12/21/21 5:12:10 AM
#1:


Not in an abusive way, apparently she was into it.

He would wear his full confederate dress uniform, pretend she was a union soldier and chase her up and down the house for fun.

He also used to hide behind doors and tackle her unexpectedly when she entered rooms and didn't know he was home.

He also loved playing with small children and would crawl around on the ground playing games with them, even at formal public outings surrounded by his military/political peers.

He also used to stand still for hours at a time and then take mineral baths because he thought it was good for his organs.

And he was mercilessly bullied by cadets when he taught at military school for being an awful and boring teacher. They used to drop bricks from windows when he walked past to scare the shit out of him.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/2/2/6/AAZiH8AACuXy.jpg

Kinda not what you'd expect from a hyper religious war hawk stoic 1800s "Southern Gentleman "

Guess everyone has layers

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David1988
12/21/21 5:12:44 AM
#2:


hot

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jumi
12/21/21 5:23:07 AM
#3:


Too bad he was a traitor that supported slavery.

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MarveI
12/21/21 5:27:10 AM
#4:


He was an a**hole. He got to enjoy his life while putting black people through misery.

Screw him.

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#5
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UnfairRepresent
12/21/21 5:34:34 AM
#6:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Not just that but completely absurd friendly fire.

Although for his legacy that was probably the best thing that could have happened to him.

He was a major war figure when the Confederates were winning and winning.

Then died the moment they started losing and wasn't even killed by the Union.

Grants (no pun intended) him a permanent spot on the "If he was alive things would be different" bullshit pedestal

If he had lived for the rest of the war, he would have been spanked so fucking hard by Grant it's not even funny. But never suffered that humiliation like the rest of the South did

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Lord_Shadow
12/21/21 5:38:10 AM
#7:


Dude was a traitor who should have been tossed in the river with the rest of the trash

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Noumas
12/21/21 6:02:54 AM
#8:


I know this from somewhere, why does this sound familiar. Parks and recreation?
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Flauros
12/21/21 6:06:21 AM
#9:


UnfairRepresent posted...


He also used to hide behind doors and tackle her unexpectedly when she entered rooms and didn't know he was home.

Gotta keep her on her toes with those intruder drills.

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MarveI
12/21/21 6:13:39 AM
#10:


Flauros posted...
Gotta keep her on her toes with those intruder drills.
Im surprised she even enjoyed that tbh

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UnfairRepresent
12/21/21 6:16:37 AM
#11:


MarveI posted...
Im surprised she even enjoyed that tbh
Well she claims to

But that being said it would not have been in her interests to admit she didn't.

After he died Stonewall was a hero (in the South) and being his widow was a cash cow. She had incentive to keep his name in as good a light as possible.

So who knows if she was telling the truth.

I'd like to think it was a cute couple thing and not Stonewall being abusive and the wife being treated like a toy because she's a woman.

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Xavier_On_High
12/21/21 7:52:39 AM
#12:


This is my favourite thing that you post. Every time.

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JA-WN-IX
12/21/21 8:03:01 AM
#13:


I love his cameo in Anchorman 2

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UnfairRepresent
12/21/21 1:01:33 PM
#14:


Scientists believe to have created a simulation of Stonewal's worst nightmare

https://youtu.be/0Sg5VQ9THGI

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MarveI
12/21/21 4:27:58 PM
#15:


UnfairRepresent posted...
Scientists believe to have created a simulation of Stonewal's worst nightmare

https://youtu.be/0Sg5VQ9THGI


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DarthDemented
12/21/21 4:42:02 PM
#16:


The whole kid thing is just wholesome dammit. Of course back in those days it was looked down upon. Seen and not heard, you know.

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UnfairRepresent
12/23/21 7:11:58 AM
#17:


DarthDemented posted...
The whole kid thing is just wholesome dammit. Of course back in those days it was looked down upon. Seen and not heard, you know.
It's party "those days" and also partly that these were respected high ranking conservative Christians politicians and generals he was crawling around with kids after

Which was highly unusual

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Kastrada
12/23/21 7:29:13 AM
#18:


Jackson was basically like Cumberbatch's character in 12 Years a Slave.

The "benevolent" Christian slave owner who didn't beat or rape his slaves but still....owned humans.

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WorsCaseOntario
12/23/21 7:41:48 AM
#19:


That's a badass name to have though

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WorsCaseOntario
12/23/21 7:42:13 AM
#20:


This summer

STONEWALL JACKSON

Rated R

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MarveI
12/23/21 7:42:43 AM
#21:


WorsCaseOntario posted...
That's a badass name to have though
I used to know a guy named Harry Johnson. No lie.

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Cuticrusader09
12/23/21 7:46:52 AM
#22:


UnfairRepresent posted...

Well she claims to

But that being said it would not have been in her interests to admit she didn't.

After he died Stonewall was a hero (in the South) and being his widow was a cash cow. She had incentive to keep his name in as good a light as possible.

So who knows if she was telling the truth.

I'd like to think it was a cute couple thing and not Stonewall being abusive and the wife being treated like a toy because she's a woman.


Nah she was abused. Women had no say in anything back then.

I mean even today abused women at times think their abusers are right in correcting them.

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MarveI
12/23/21 7:49:06 AM
#23:


Cuticrusader09 posted...
I mean even today abused women at times think their abusers are right in correcting them.
Thats so freaking sad :(


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UnfairRepresent
12/23/21 7:52:58 AM
#24:


WorsCaseOntario posted...
That's a badass name to have though

WorsCaseOntario posted...
That's a badass name to have though
It's a nickname

His real name was Thomas

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#25
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toreysback
12/23/21 8:24:31 AM
#26:


In a correspondence match with Morphy, he pioneered the variation of the Dutch Defense that now bears his name

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monkmith
12/23/21 8:30:04 AM
#27:


sounds bad, someone should arrest him.

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Fam_Fam
12/23/21 8:36:47 AM
#28:


i read this as Samuel L Jackson
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UnfairRepresent
12/24/21 2:48:08 PM
#29:


Fam_Fam posted...
i read this as Samuel L Jackson
Ironically, Stonewall would have hated him

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