Current Events > After like a month of speaking normally, we got into a disagreement again.

(+) Yeah! (+)

You should really just stop talking to her.

In my defense I told her I was buying the tickets 5 days before I bought them and she never tried to stop me.

Nothing is worth being in a toxic relationship, its brutal when youre in it, probably brutal when it ends, but once youre clear of it its worlds better

Sounds like you were in the right

Take someone else to the concert then

Seeing no direct response as a "yes" is on you. You're blaming her for not being direct when this problem could of been solved by the same exact thing from you that you're blaming her for.

Neither of you can be direct and it's gonna cause this to keep happening. Especially as Im watching you take zero responsibility for it.

You're judging her communication skills when you could of just as easily told her in any of those 5 days or better yet before "I need a definitive answer or Ill just buy the tickets for us".

God damn, Im glad I got good at being unapologetically direct with people >_>

I recently started dating a year after my divorce and the dude I'm talking to does the same thing that you did with the concert tickets.

He'll mention things briefly in a fleeting conversation and I would not respond thinking its just him airing his thoughts.
Then days later I'm being accused of standing him up for dinner or making him waste his money on something he thinks we both agreed to.
Its pretty annoying as it seems as if he doesn't respect my time and is functioning in a different recently to mine.

Just drop her, you will feel infinitely better. Relationships are not supposed to be this hard.

no I literally said I was buying tickets and that the show is ____ day. She didnt say she felt I was scheduling out her day for her untill after I bought the tickets.

i was literally as direct as I possibly could be. She has a very childish habit where instead of saying no, or giving me any bad news she intentionally says nothing, factor that in with the fact she is a very busy woman with a lot going on.

it was always easier to buy the tickets now and figure it out latter, which is what I was prepared to do.

no I literally said I was buying tickets and that the show is ____ day. She didnt say she felt I was scheduling out her day for her untill after I bought the tickets.

i was literally as direct as I possibly could be. She has a very childish habit where instead of saying no, or giving me any bad news she intentionally says nothing, factor that in with the fact she is a very busy woman with a lot going on.

it was always easier to buy the tickets now and figure it out latter, which is what I was prepared to do.

thats a little different than what i did. I took the initiative on a time sensitive subject. I wouldnt hold it against her for not being able to go. What Im upset about is she knew prior to me buying the tickets that she likely couldnt go and instead of saying something she lets me buy them, and then gets mad at for me scheduling out her day.

My mother was like that, and the day I moved out was the second-best day of my life, right behind the day she died. No more drama, no more of her projecting her bull crap on me.

Sounds like poor communication on your part. Same thing I deal with, with my guy. He does mention these activities he wants us to do, but somewhere in his head, he made it clear that these are the plans and that I've agreed to them. Then because its a nice gesture, I'm somehow a terrible person for not going along with it, in spite of not being made aware that these plans were concrete.

There should have at least been another conversation before you purchased the tickets, letting her know that this is what you intended to do, and would like to confirm her agreement on it.

But that never happens because you're such a nice guy and she is just horrible and disagrees with everything and starts arguments, right?

Maybe try having some respect for her and her time and quit pushing your intentions on her.

Honestly the only part that seems weird to me is that you're telling her, rather than asking. Why not phrase it as a question "Hey, I was thinking we could go to this concert on ___ day. Do you want to go? If so, I'll buy the tickets now." If she ignores that, then don't buy the tickets, or make those plans with someone else. If she gets mad that you're not going with her, then that's on her, because you offered and she didn't give you an answer.

That said, if she has a habit of not answering, it seems like this problem is going to keep happening. I don't know the history you have with her, but I don't know... might be easier to just find someone else.

I told you in the last topic how this would happen again a month later.

Without more context, this makes you look extremely petty >_>. But I have a feeling it's just because this was only the tip of the iceberg in your relationship. You don't gotta go into it, Im just saying if you casually throw that out there without proper context, it might not get the best responses.

I wont air my dirty laundry on this subject, but r/RaisedByNarcissists is a good place to get an idea of what my NMom was like, she was a greedy, obstinate, spiteful, ungrateful and cruel shit stain on society and the economy.

youre really kind of projecting yourself on to the situation, just a little weird honestly.

I said I was buying the tickets, asked her again about it the following day and then bought the tickets after I didnt get any response for 5 days

i never said she had to go, or that she was a shitty person for not being able to go ?

stop projecting

I typically always move in an assertive kind of way, Im always bringing her food or giving her money for food, Im always buying things she mentions she likes etc etc etc so of course I would buy tickets to a show two months in advance without asking.

Whoever has me blocked is showing up in a lot of topics right after my posts >_>.

KINDERFIELD, I think? Is he the crazy one that blocks people at random? He has those sort of unstable posts.

Quite telling that her reaction was a huge red flag for you and that you assumed no responsibility in the entire situation.

Very telling.

Basically she got mad I bought concert tickets for us without asking if she was free that day, or even if she wanted to go and she felt like I just volunteered her time.

In my defense I told her I was buying the tickets 5 days before I bought them and she never tried to stop me.

on the bright side im a lot more aware of the flow of our arguments and i avoided reacting to things I would have reacted to in the past.

However its extremely concerning its hardly no changes in the way she communicates.

That was like a giant red flag.

youre really kind of projecting yourself on to the situation, just a little weird honestly.

I said I was buying the tickets, asked her again about it the following day and then bought the tickets after I didnt get any response for 5 days

i never said she had to go, or that she was a shitty person for not being able to go ?

stop projecting

I typically always move in an assertive kind of way, Im always bringing her food or giving her money for food, Im always buying things she mentions she likes etc etc etc so of course I would buy tickets to a show two months in advance without asking.

it was always easier to buy the tickets now and figure it out latter, which is what I was prepared to do.

Well you being "assertive" clearly isn't the way to approach things with her if this is a common occurrence. If you guys have gotten into arguments about this before, why handle it the same way?

And that's why she's mad. You're saying it's all on her, but there's a breakdown of communication on your end too. Your solution shouldn't be to "buy the tickets now and figure it out later" when she doesn't give you an immediate yes. It probably makes her feel like you're trying to use guilt to force her to go. "You're not going? I already bought the tickets!"

I think TC enjoys this kind of behavior. She cucks you all the time from your previous topics. You should have stayed away the moment she declined to have sex with you. Stop buying her things and feeling entitled to her affection because you spend money on her. Move on bro.

Quite telling that her reaction was a huge red flag for you and that you assumed no responsibility in the entire situation.

Very telling.

TC will never admit that the girl will never be into him in the way he is into her.